I've always taken everything I've had for granted. I'd never been grateful for the thick rain that hit my window, or the soft snow that would curl in my hands. I'd never been grateful for the smell of freshly cut grass, or the taste of sweet water from the mountain peaks of British Columbia.

And now?

Now I'm regretting not living my life to the fullest. I'm regretting not using the beautiful weather and society  to my advantage. Because now, it has been snatched away from me.

You see, I'm homesick. Very homesick.

I moved to Dubai last year, November 29th, 2015 and might I add, it was the worst day of my life. That day, I left Canada, my home, behind to start a new life here. In Dubai.

I'm not trashing Dubai, no, I'm just stating how much I miss home. Because here, in Dubai, we get close to no rain. There aren't many trees or much grass. We have to drink bottled water that doesn't taste nearly as good as the natural spring water in Canada. Snow? Forget that.

So yes, I miss home. I miss my family there. I miss my friends there. I miss the vanilla smell of my old room in my cousin's basement. I even miss the ugly orange walls in my old room!

I miss home.

When I first moved to Dubai, I would silently cry myself to sleep because I just WOULDN'T fit in at school. Almost everyone seemed so rich and snobby. 

Do you guys remember how when we were younger, we'd watch movies where the movie had the 'populars,' 'jocks,' and 'nerds'? Well, in Canada, my school NEVER had that. Everyone was equal and accepted for who they are. My school had a Pride Club, which is basically like #LGBT+. I loved it there.

And then I came here. Over here, they have the populars, jocks and nerds. You are looked down upon for not having the 'looks.' If you aren't pretty, well, you're considered a nerd. Which is highly stupid and unacceptable. And this isn't only at the school I go to here. I have friends from other schools, and yes, they have confirmed that their school has these kinds of groups.

So, how can you expect me to fit into something like that? How can you expect me to like  that kind of environment?

You just can't. And so, I began hating Dubai. I began crying myself to sleep, night after night, simply because I just can't fit in!

Don't get me started on how EXPENSIVE everything is! 

I miss Dollarama and Ardene. I miss Walmart and Costco. 

You see, everything takes time. And I needed to learn that.

Do you know why?

If I hadn't moved to Dubai, I wouldn't have been forced to talk to the kids at my school. Yes, I mean the 'nerds' because the 'populars' are just fake ass bitches. I made such wonderful, caring friends. CherryAngel101 ... yes, I'm talking about you.

This girl right here, has been there for ever since I moved to Dubai. Yes, we had a rough start at the beginning, but once everything calmed down, she has not once failed to be there for me. I'm just gonna advertise for her for a second... check out her book "Then One Day, Everything Changed." It talks about her struggle of having an abusive and possessive boyfriend (ex now, thank the good Lord).

Anyways, I love you Vanessah <3 (SHE LOVES ME TOO, YOU CAN TELL BY HER PROFILE NAME!!!)

Yes, there are still times where I feel claustrophobic because of the pollution here, or the endless amount of tall buildings here. I like to call Dubai a 'Concrete Jungle' hehe...

Because of Vanessah (CherryAngel101), living in Dubai isn't all that bad anymore. I don't cry myself to sleep at night, because now I know that when I wake up tomorrow, I will be blessed with the company of my friends at school.

So you know what?

I can't wait 'til school tomorrow. Because I have a group of people that make me feel wanted here, and make me feel at home.

And that is exactly what Project #NotAshamed is for. It's to make you feel wanted, like you can be yourself, accepted, and simply feel at home.

-Mahum

If you guys are wondering, the image I attached as the header is a picture of the west coast of British Columbia, my home.

#NotAshamed

Afterall, the unique you is the best you.