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GIDEON WAS DRIVING her mad. His incessant tapping of his foot against hers, paired with his snickering— meant she couldn't focus on reading her book no matter how hard she tried, and she was trying. Serves her right for inviting him to the library.

Perenelle wasn't necessarily annoyed about the book. Little Women, by a muggle named Louisa May Alcott was actually dampening her mood. It only made her think about her relationship with her own sisters, rather— a lack thereof with a specific one. Sod it.

"Do you mind?" She interrupted.

He had given up on his book not long after they had sat down, a random one he had plucked from a nearby shelf.

"Ferdinand Gespe's 'To Tame a Witch: a Wizard's Guide to Marital Obedience' isn't really tickling my fancy if I'm being honest" Gideon admitted, fighting a laugh as he patted the book on his lap.

Perenelle snorted, placing her bookmark in between the pages and closing Little Women. She should have expected this outcome when Gideon accepted her invitation— which really, was her running into him on the way to the library and him tagging along.

Certainly not their first impromptu hang out— she cringed every time she remembered him finding her after detention, but the first wholesome one nonetheless. Wholesome, but desperately in need of a change of scenery. It seemed they wouldn't bond over reading, Billy Joel though was now Perenelle's favourite muggle artist.

She had convinced Gideon and Fabian to show her ABBA earlier in the week— and she loved them, (the girls were so right!) but there was something about Billy Joel that had the few songs she had heard stuck in Perenelle's head on a now regular basis. She wasn't complaining.

Though the red head seemed to pop into her head on an almost regular basis now as well, and she might complain about that. She blamed Alice really— as now Perenelle found herself incredibly hyper aware. Maybe Gideon did flirt, he liked to call her pretty. But she couldn't simply base it off of that, he probably called loads of girls pretty, and she did occasionally catch him glance in the direction of other girls with a look in his eyes that made her cheeks turn scarlet.

He did other things with girls that made her blush... she had nearly forgotten about the night she had caught him with a blonde Hufflepuff during her prefect rounds— how mortifying. It made her question Alice's insinuations, as Perenelle looked absolutely nothing like the girls she had witnessed Gideon chase after.

It made her chest burn with the slightest hint of envy— not that she would ever admit that. It had nothing to do with Gideon personally, only her own inexperience. Perenelle knew she was taller, lankier— her breasts put together wouldn't even equal one of Vaudeline's, and maybe when she was younger it would have driven her mad, but she was usually fine with who she was.

Her uncle Benoit's second wife, Celia, once told her that she was a 'timeless beauty', whereas Vaudeline was a 'bombshell'— neither was better than the other, they were just different, both equally beautiful in different ways. So while she didn't take it personally— she couldn't help but stew over Alice's suggestions and her own observations. Gideon was just a flirty person, she was not. Or she thought she wasn't, she had never really been flirted with all that much.

"Everyone is driving me mad today" She huffed later in the day, picking at her cranberry muffin and swinging her nylon clad legs from her position on the kitchen counter— Loppsy kept eyeing her nervously, Perenelle suspected that the elf wished she would use a chair like Alice had. "First Gid and now you— I think I need to go to bed"

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon on a Saturday Per" Alice scoffed, "what'd Gid do, was it just you two?" Alice didn't bother asking what she had done, and Perenelle had a feeling it was due to her continuing to do it.

She glared in Alice's direction.

"Godric's sake Per— I'm your friend, and I'm not daft either, there's something going on!" She said defensively, letting her fork fall onto her now half eaten plate of cherry pie— Loppsy was spoiling them today. "I've been mates with Gideon for over a year now, known him for nearly six, I know what he's like"

"That's the point" Perenelle said, abandoning her muffin and wiping the crumbs from her dress, "I've seen him flirt with other girls, so why's it such a big deal he's called me pretty a few times and hangs out with me? We're mates, it doesn't have to mean anything Alice"

Alice didn't say anything, raising her eyebrows and standing up to bring her plate to the sink nearest to them, Perenelle sighed.

"Okay... say you are right— which by the way I highly doubt, no offence" Perenelle began, "Who cares, it doesn't mean anything will happen"

"Has anyone ever pointed out how delusional you are?"

"That's rude"

"Just because it's rude doesn't mean it's not true" Alice grinned, "Alright I'll leave it alone I guess, but honestly Per, try to tell me you don't fancy him the slightest bit"

Perenelle scoffed, her cheeks suddenly warm, "I do not"

"Not even a little? Once? He—"

"— Well I did, once" She interrupted, and Alice's face twisted as if to say ah hah!, "Oh don't give me that look, it was when we were younger, I got over it by third year— fourth year tops"

"Hmm, well this makes it all the more interesting"

"You said you'd drop it!"

"Ugh, fine, whatever" Alice sighed, "In other news, your cousin is no longer giving me the silent treatment, I think his hit to the head made him realize I did nothing wrong"

Perenelle wasn't sure the change in conversation was any better, but she was glad Alice's friendship with Sirius was no longer suffering at her expense. She was also glad to hear he was doing alright, she'd seen him around the last fortnight— in classes, or in the corridors, but the two never met each other's eyes. Still, she was glad he was conscious and not passed out and snoring in a bed in the Hospital Wing.

Her sister was glad too, though Vaudeline never outright said it. The blonde's shoulders seemed to sag in relief when Perenelle had confessed she had gone to visit, and that Sirius would be fine.

"Is that so?" She asked, and Alice rolled her eyes, "Yeah, in between his wounded soldier act, you should have seen him when he first came back to the common room— the prat was walking around like he'd been declared dead and miraculously sprung back to bloody life"

Perenelle couldn't help but laugh at the image, and Alice continued,

"Sat himself down next to me on the couch as though he wasn't ignoring me just a few days before, maybe he forgot, I dunno— Frank did say he hit his head pretty hard"

"Well we'll see if he suddenly hugs Vaud and I in the corridors and starts speaking French, then we'll know his memories are warped"

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Perenelle made the conscious effort to avoid Gideon for the rest of the day. Well not entirely, she did see him before dinner, but she hadn't exactly sought him out. Him and Fabian invited her to the staircase by the kitchens the next night (no doubt to witness another scheme) but alas, she had to attend Slughorn's Christmas party.

They told her to come if she changed her mind, but she wasn't sure she would. For one, Slughorn was incredibly talented at guilting his attendees, and two— she loathed the effects her conversation with Alice had on her.

Has anyone ever pointed out how delusional you are?

For Merlin's sake— Perenelle's delusions were the only thing keeping her sane. She did find Gideon incredibly handsome, and yes— alright, the boy flirted with her. He had made a really annoying habit of it and it made her head spin and her mouth uncomfortably dry. There was a point in time when Perenelle would have given anything for the elder boy to even look in her direction, and now that he was within arms reach she had to constantly fight the urge to scream and run away.

Was this normal? Was she? In all honesty she felt as though she was two days away from tearing each individual curl out of her head— oh Salazar, her mother would never forgive her, but she couldn't help imagining herself grabbing Gideon by his strong shoulders and shaking him, looking into his deep brown eyes and asking— maybe even yelling, what in Merlin's name are you playing at!

Said thoughts were the reason Perenelle decided that her Saturday evening would be best spent alone and back in the library with a different book— she chose Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf.

It was okay, she had begun it the day before and abandoned it for Little Women but well— the latter was now definitely out of the question.

The worn out blue couch hidden deep within the library was possibly her favourite area of the school, with the kitchen a close second. Though she had been neglecting it lately. It lay against a small window that shone out into a corner of the courtyard, and its location often meant no one would disturb her. Perenelle sunk deeper into the couch for a moment as she gathered her thoughts, staring up at the wooden ceiling and drumming her fingers against the book pressed to her chest.

The school year had proved itself to be so bloody weird and it wasn't even Yule. She opened her book to where she had marked her spot— it wasn't very far, she hadn't even reached the second chapter, and paused when she noticed what she had used to mark the page.

Dearest Pera— a letter from Narcissa, she clearly had forgotten to read it. Though to be fair, Cissa's letters were normally awfully boring. She unfolded the envelope,

How does it feel to be a sixth year darling? I do apologize that I haven't written you or Vaudeline sooner, I have been so busy around the manor! You remember the East wing yes? Where the piano room is, well I am so pleased to say that I have fully renovated it to my standards. You simply must come over during the holidays to see what I have created! Gone is the ghastly pale yellow wallpaper, and the Wing is now a beautiful pastel blue sourced from the seashells along Bonneveine Beach in our beautiful Marseille, maman helped me of course. I will stop bombarding you with the details, as I will of course show you in person— Salazar knows my words alone cannot do the beautiful restoration justice. I must confess dear sister that the primary purpose of my letter is to inquire about little Reg. Is everything alright with him? I worry that he may be overwhelmed with his new prefect duties this year, as he hasn't replied to my letters. Lucius is no help, though I love that he has been mentoring our darling cousin. Do let me know if I should be worried, and remind him to respond to me! I cannot help but fret over him, he's the littlest of us, it's only natural I suppose. Lucius sends his love,
Your sister,
Narcissa Dorea Malfoy, of the Noble and Most Prosperous House of Malfoy

Perenelle frowned as she held the piece of parchment in her hands. Lucius sends his love— gah! Lucius was so obnoxious she actively dreaded running into him at every family gathering, though, he did at least attempt to hold conversations, unlike Rodolphus.

Narcissa's mention of Regulus, however, was what had Perenelle frowning. He's the littlest of us, it's only natural I suppose. Perenelle hadn't spoken to him in ages... she didn't see him out at Hogsmeade at all that month— oh Merlin, he had missed their last prefect meeting as well.

Perhaps it was overwhelming him, but why would it? Regulus hadn't made any mention of it before, aside from the strange behaviour she had witnessed from him and Evan in the common room weeks ago.

Perenelle's shoulders twitched, the back of her neck burning uncomfortably as she realized that was the last time she had actually spoken to her cousin (well Evan too, but Evan was an annoying git she relished avoiding). Perenelle felt as though Narcissa's steely gray eyes— the ones both Regulus and Sirius shared, were eyeing her disapprovingly through her curvy handwriting.

It was then that she realized just how much time she had spent wrapped up in her new friends. Merlin— why would Narcissa ask her and not Vaudeline? If Regulus was going to confide in either of them it certainly wouldn't be Perenelle. Then again, Narcissa had an annoying penchant for worrying, it was more likely Reg had been avoiding her letters to save himself a headache from her ramblings about wallpaper trimmings and freshly imported alder wood flooring.

Footsteps interrupted Perenelle from her musings, and she uncrossed her ankles, letting one long leg hang over the side of the couch as she turned to see who had encroached on her privacy— surely not Gideon, she wasn't sure she wanted to be alone with him at the moment, just the thought made her ears hot. She quickly stuffed Narcissa's letter back in between the pages of Mrs. Dalloway.

"Why did you come visit me in the Hospital Wing?"

Perenelle's eyes widened at Sirius' question— though more so at the sight of him in front of her.

Sirius' expression was hard to place, he stood in front of her, hands loose at his sides, his voice unreadable— but nowhere near defensive or aggressive like any other confrontation the pair had had since the beginning of term.

"I didn't" She managed to choke out, though she regretted it the moment she said it, Sirius was now staring at her with a baffled look on his face.

"Just answer the question"

Perenelle tossed her book onto the couch, swinging her legs so that she was sitting properly, and now, face to face with her cousin. She placed her hands on her lap defensively, wringing her hands.

"Why did you defend me at the Gryffindor party?"

It was now Sirius' turn to be elusive— as the boy made no move to speak, and Perenelle raised her eyebrows as if to say huh— see how it feels?

"Hmm, kneazle's got your tongue I suppose" She muttered, the carpeted floor suddenly more interesting to look that.

"Well you have to answer my question first"

"What are we, ten?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and moved to stalk off, turning away from her and leaving her to stare at the back of his robes,

"Wait!" Perenelle called, and she could see Sirius tense, though he turned back around.

"Would you believe me if I told you I cared about your well being? Or will you accuse me of plotting your downfall?"

"I dunno— I've never been all that good at legilimency"

"Well forgive me for not running amuck with my intentions on my sleeve, you still haven't answered my question by the way"

Sirius' brows furrowed, and he raised his finger defensively,

"If that is supposed to be a jab at me, I'll have you know that I am skilled at the art of subtlety"

Perenelle scoffed, "I don't think you possess a single subtle bone in your body," she paused, "Also— how did you find me here, are you stalking me?"

"Please, I have much better things to do with my time, it's precious" He drawled, and surprisingly, moved to sit on the opposite end of the couch left vacant after Perenelle sat up at his arrival,

"Oh yes, after your injury, I've heard all about your miraculous return to the land of the living"

"Well you would know— visiting me and all, either to finish the job like a good Black or fret over me like a bad one, I've yet to decide on which"

Sirius was taking the mick, evident in the way he sprawled out on the couch, staring at her challengingly. He knew the answer, at least now he did. Perenelle squinted at him in annoyance, scooting farther away from him.

He was also an idiot— they didn't hurt each other. At least not gravely, parental scoldings and punishments were one thing but Black's never seriously maimed each other (at least not on purpose). She'd quicker be looked down upon if she had snuck into the Hospital Wing to smother him with a pillow. Even if she sometimes wished to.

"If I was smart we both know I wouldn't have gone at all" She admitted, crossing her arms over her chest. She detested the way he took pleasure in drawing the confession out of her— like he was playing with his food rather than eating it. He was much too similar to Bellatrix in that way, though she knew he'd most likely hex her to oblivion if she ever told him so.

"I have been wondering what you've been up to with Fortescue, maybe she's a bad influence on you— or good, depends on the perspective"

"Yeah well, I appreciate that you've stopped freezing her out" Perenelle countered, "No need to punish her for little old me, I'm not important, remember?"

Sirius visibly grimaced, and Pera sucked in her cheeks. Perenelle was not about to be the only one answering for her actions if they were going to have this conversation. It was long overdue really, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't curious about the outcome.

Perenelle refused to be the first one to admit fault, they both were, grievously, but call it pride, she would not be the one to first utter I'm sorry.

"Can't say that was my proudest moment" Sirius shrugged his shoulders, and he sombered quickly, "I didn't...I had no idea she left like that you know"

"What, she didn't tell you over tea?"

Sirius looked embarrassed, and he turned his head to look out the window.

"Listen, we're not thick as thieves or anything, I was talking out of my arse a bit, I've only seen her once since I left" He said, and Perenelle felt her heart squeeze, "She was happy to see me— worried over me, you know, but she's really the same, personality wise at least, it was weird"

"How fun" Perenelle mumbled, unsure how she was supposed to process that information. "Not a word to anyone, except for me I suppose. Though the petrificus totalus she used on me made it hard for proper goodbyes."

Sirius shifted awkwardly, neither of them saying anything for a moment. Perenelle suddenly found her fingers in her lap far more interesting to look at.

"I met him." He said slowly, as though to test the waters. Perenelle's face flickered in confusion.

"Her husband— y'know, the muggleborn? He seems to be a nice bloke." He paused, "She writes me sometimes, and she's asked about you, I don't know if that's something you'd wanna know...I didn't meet her, but, she's got a little gir—"

"— I don't wanna know" Perenelle shook her head, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling she might heave up her dinner. Part of her was glad her sister was happy, but the knowledge she had a family, was too much. Andromeda asking after her left a sour taste in her mouth. It only reminded Pera of how much time had passed. How much had changed, bloody hell, she had a niece if she heard Sirius correctly.

"Sorry" Sirius ran his hand over his face, and she could feel his eyes on her from across the couch.

Silence.

"For... all of it" He breathed, "You have a point that I created a lot of the problems myself, it wasn't fair to try to pin it all on you, the whole things rubbish"

"I'm sorry too" Perenelle mumbled, though the words felt so cathartic leaving her mouth, "You didn't create all— well, I think what I'm trying to say is I don't necessarily blame you for leaving." It hurt her so deeply to say the words.

The most she could do was apologize for her own part in the wider dumpster fire that was their family's dynamic— same as him, but it felt freeing all the same. As freeing as befriending Alice, Frank, or the twins, all of it. Though it had been weighing on her since it all began, the anxiety of it all, Perenelle couldn't help but admit the events of the school term gave her a rush that was borderline addicting.

Was this what free will felt like?

"I.." She began, the adrenaline rushing through her mixing with the dread deep in her chest, and creating a swirl of nausea that seemed to constrict her breathing, "I've missed you Sirius."

"You really don't blame me?"

She didn't— the deterioration of their relationship wasn't black and white. Sirius' alienation had been slow building, it didn't just happen immediately with his sorting into Gryffindor. Sure, their family dynamic had soured after that, but there were still the occasional decent memories. Eyes finding each other's after Lucius said something incredibly pompous.. them two, Vaud and Reg all sitting on the same sofa after Yule dinner at Grimmauld Place— it wasn't much, but it was still proof of some sense of familiarity. Sirius' sorting was the beginning, it wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.

"No." She shook her head, and it seemed as though a tension lifted itself from Sirius' shoulders. A part of her wished to blame him, though Perenelle suspected that it would only serve as an outlet for how she felt about her own sister's departure. Both were so similar, yet so different. Sirius was not Andromeda, yet both found they had to leave.

Perenelle did not live in Grimmauld Place (Merlin she could never, she loathed her aunt's ghoulish decor), but she could understand how someone like Sirius could slowly crack trapped in its walls and make a mad dash for freedom. But it didn't make it any less disheartening. A selfish part of her wondered if he could have waited it out, become head of the family, and well— just changed it all to his liking.She dared not voice that thought aloud.

"I missed you too." Sirius said, finally, knocking his knee against hers awkwardly on the sofa. They both sat in silence before he turned towards her.

"What exactly is it you're playing at?" He asked, "You're friends with all the wrong people all of the sudden, are you leaving?"

"Merlin no" Perenelle answered quickly, "I just, I don't know, I've decided that I'm going to make some decisions for myself for once." Like you accused me of being unable to do, she wished to add. By the look on her cousins face at her words it seems he understood regardless.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Sirius criticized, shaking his head, and Perenelle pursed her lips, "My brother's a bloody rat, and at this point you're asking to be locked up in Blackstone until you graduate."

She bristled at his insinuations— both about Regulus and her being locked away in her parent's manor if she were caught. She wasn't a moron, she wouldn't get caught.

"Don't talk about him like that." She said defensively, Narcissa's concerned letter reentering her mind. Sirius merely raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not an idiot." Perenelle retorted, "I don't do anything that would get me found out, I'm careful, Vaud would kill me if I got us caught" She was also only openly friendly with blood-appropriate students. Gosh. She'd never say it out loud, but it was the truth. They may come from neutral, or even blood-traitor teetering families, but Perenelle wasn't foolish enough to waltz through the corridors where someone might see her with someone like Lily Evans, so to speak.

She felt a creeping shame overcome her just by thinking it. But regardless, it was true whether or not it was uncomfortably confusing.

She was also partially lying through her teeth, though sneaking around after hours with the Prewett twins and the Gryffindor party had proved successes thus far. Sirius rolled his eyes before her words finally registered in his brain.

"Vaudeline?" He practically sputtered, "I'm sorry, I think I'm bloody hallucinating, you've managed to convince the ice princess herself to be in on this?"

"Don't insult my sister." Perenelle spat. Sirius' words angered her more than they normally would've. Vaudeline was still being off, it worried Perenelle deeply. Oh Merlin, between her sister and Regulus Pera felt like a horrible relative. Besides, Vaudeline had proved herself to be more than capable of stepping outside of her comfort zone, Sirius' words were baseless and rude.

"Vaudeline was at the party too y'know, and she's hung out with Alice and the boys before with me, I'm sorry if that shatters whatever close-minded ideas of us you have"

"Huh, don't think I'll believe it until I see it to be honest, she bloody terrifies me"

"That's your own fault, if you ask me you're both too similar for your own good, way to go getting us those detentions by the way— real charming to walk out of the toilets to see you two ready to wring each others necks"

"Awh" Sirius sighed mockingly, leaning back into the arm of the couch, "But then we wouldn't be chatting like a pair of old mates right now, so maybe I should give Vaud some credit"

"Good luck with that" Perenelle snorted. She didn't know what she was going to tell her sister. In all honesty Perenelle was semi-convinced she was hallucinating the whole conversation. Was she asleep on the couch right now? Drooling into her book? She didn't think she would tell her— at least not until Vaudeline got over whatever had her acting all weird.

"And what? So you're willing to not antagonize me over nothing anymore? I have your express permission to do as I please for once?" Perenelle asked, her turn to mock him, and Sirius rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically.

"I suppose..." He paused, "But I think that you might have to include me in your rotation of bad influences now, for peace of mind, I guess." Another pause, "I can't have you getting caught and the Black council somehow blaming me and finally coming after me." It was Perenelle's turn to roll her eyes.

She didn't answer for a moment, considering his words. It wasn't so simple— all of their family problems couldn't disappear in one conversation, but... given everything else, why couldn't she try to be civil with Sirius?. She missed him, even though he was a prat. So much had changed in the last few months, she may as well try.

"Deal" She said shakily, extending her hand out across the couch, and Sirius shook it enthusiastically.

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eeek hello everyone! this one is a more plot driven chapter, but I love it nonetheless x
let me know what you think about perenelle & sirius beginning their journey of making amends!
the next few chapters will be dedicated to yule, which I'm very excited about! things are starting to heat up ;)
please remember to vote & comment as I adore hearing from you all xx
until next time, jess <333