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HER GREAT AUNT'S SON HAD DIED. It was in the paper, smoothed between her hands and pressed flat against the Slytherin table. Vaudeline read it over her shoulder, and Perenelle could feel her sister's shoulders stiffen as her eyes raked over the Prophet's front page.

AUROR CHARLUS POTTER FOUND DEAD! IS THERE A LEAK IN THE MINISTRY? SEE PAGE FOURTEEN FOR THE MINISTRY ANALYSTS' THOUGHTS...

"Why didn't grandfather mention it in his letter?" Perenelle mused, biting her lip in confusion as Vaudeline shook her head,

"I don't know... maybe they didn't know, aunt Dorea has always been a recluse"

Her family— certainly it's higher ranking members being unaware of a Black-related death was highly unlikely, though her sisters words weren't a lie.

Similar to their uncle Orion's sister Lucretia, their great aunt Dorea had tied herself far more closely with her husband's family after her marriage. It made sense, marriage was essentially a transfer of families, and Perenelle did not see her often. Only large holidays, like Yule occasionally. In fact she had only met her cousin Charlus (named after his father) a handful of times, though he was nearly fifteen years her senior.

Still, it was odd that nothing had been said. She knew that her grandfather was close with his sisters, and since great aunt Cass had never married Charlus was his only nephew, whom he doted upon.

Though her grandfather and his sisters did have another sibling. Whoever they were their face (and name) was blasted off of the family tapestry far before Perenelle was born. It was never spoken of— and she never asked questions.

"He was an auror..." Damien began sheepishly, unwilling to look either sister in the eye.

Marceline looked incredibly uncomfortable, and shifted in between Damien and Antonin. Though it was Toni who finished Damien's sentence— far less cautiously.

"Perhaps he forgot his place in society, and fell into the wrong sorts, Salazar knows the propaganda being fed to aurors, even those of pure blood" He spat aurors as though it was a dirty word, and just as Perenelle realized Toni's insinuation Vaudeline had gripped the wooden table.

"How dare you suggest that my aunt's son was a blood traitor" She whispered— quite venomously.

"I'm only saying—"

"— I know what you're saying and we will hear none of it!" Perenelle realized that by we Vaudeline was referring to her as well, "Don't speak of "place", he was a Black— half at least. He knew his place and that certainly was not the cause!"

The group of friends had lapsed into silence, breakfast forgotten, and Perenelle found herself eyeing the Gryffindor table across the hall. She didn't know why she did it— though the second her and Sirius had made eye contact she quickly broke it, her throat suddenly hoarse.

He too held the paper in his hands, and for their brief eye contact it seemed as though her cousin was asking did you know?

Though as established, she did not.

Furthermore, Sirius was comforting a crestfallen James, and Perenelle found herself with a startling realization.

James was a Potter. Surely they had been related.

She was sure of it— wasn't sure how. perhaps Dorea was his aunt, or married to a cousin. But there was definitely a relation, she remembered her aunt Walburga screaming about it after Sirius had found refuge with James' parents that past summer.

The group was interrupted by Regulus appearing opposite the twins— behind Marcie and the boys, and the youngest Black's normal somber expression held a glint of nerves.

"Can I speak to you two?"

Perenelle and her sister bid the others goodbye, following Regulus out into the hall.

"I take it you've read the paper?"

"Yeah Reg, did your parents say anything?" Pera asked, and her cousin's eye twitched, his hand moving to loosen his tie.

Perenelle was struck by Regulus' odd behaviour, and her sister certainly must be as well. Though small indicators— Regulus seemed a nervous wreck.

"No, they didn't— that's why I wanted to ask" He choked, and Vaudeline moved to reach for Regulus' arm, though he quickly moved away.

"Reggie, is everything alright?" Vaud asked, and Regulus quickly nodded,

"I— I think I'm coming down with something" He said, "thank you, I'm going to go see Pomfrey"

And he was gone. Both sisters equally alarmed though neither saying a word.

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Perenelle found herself in a daze much of the day, between Regulus and their newly deceased cousin Charlus, she couldn't seem to think straight.

This had resulted in her nearly forgetting she had promised to meet Alice in the courtyard after classes finished for the day, and she was hurrying there before Alice thought Perenelle stood her up.

Alice was already cross with her— Merlin knows she needed the Gryffindor more inclined to end their newfound friendship. Though that was what she suspected their meeting entailed— it left her stomach in knots.

Perhaps Antonin was right, and her aunt Dorea's son was killed for being a blood traitor. It could explain why her grandfather had failed to mention his passing, though what would that have to do with Regulus acting strange?

Besides, wouldn't she be informed of Charlus' striking from the tapestry by now? It was all very confusing.

"Bloody hell Pera no need to run" Alice joked, and with a startle Perenelle realized she had in fact reached the courtyard. Without her scarf. Sod it. The October weather was unforgiving and Perenelle in her lapsed judgement had forgotten so.

"Sorry— I didn't want you to think I wasn't coming" she said, half panting, and sat next to Alice at the benches overlooking the greenery (well, with most leaves now fallen to the ground) at the centre of the courtyard. She pulled her cloak closer around her body.

For the second time that day Perenelle found herself in an uncomfortable silence, before Alice turned to face her.

"I wanted to talk about yesterday, in the kitchens" she paused, "I'm a very straightforward person Black, and to be blunt— I'm annoyed with you"

Perenelle nodded— she expected it, though it didn't prevent the colour draining from her face and the corners of her eyes suddenly blurring.

This was it— Alice was no doubt about to put an end to whatever friendship they had established. It made Perenelle's heart ache. Just when she thought she was able to make a friend outside of her own sphere— reality made sure to quickly squash such a foolish dream.

She respected Alice's decision— truly she did. And she wouldn't try to persuade her otherwise. Besides, maybe it was for the best. They were far too different, and if an all out war was coming (like the boys and the Prophet suggested) perhaps it was better they cut ties now before the lines were drawn clear and Pera's family made her choose.

It's not like she'd have a choice after all.

Though that didn't mean she had to leave Alice with an impression of her that didn't portray the accurate picture.

"It's okay that you don't want to be mates anymore Alice" Perenelle smiled sadly, and though the Gryffindor opened her mouth to interrupt Pera continued, "I understand, and I won't beg, I just want to apologize for how ignorant I was"

Alice didn't try to interrupt this time, as though Perenelle had stunned her into silence.

"I can't apologize for who my family is or what they believe" She paused, her voice suddenly shaky, "but I'm sorry that I offended you and I realize now that it was so unbelievably stupid" She wiped her eye, trying not to cry, and Alice grabbed her other hand.

"I— I don't want to stop being mates Black, I just wanted to—"

"—No but maybe you should" Pera sniffled, and Alice looked at her in confusion,

"I'm still a Black— I know you think we're all rotten and maybe I am too, I don't think that I hate all muggles but I've been so bloody confused lately!" She confessed, and Alice squeezed her hand, "I just— I don't know what to think anymore, I feel so guilty that you spend time with me when your best mates are muggleborn, and I feel even more guilty because Lily Evans is one of the nicest people I've ever met!"

Her vision was clouded with frustrated tears— but through them she could see Alice's mouth ajar, and the brown haired girl enveloped Perenelle in a hug.

"I don't think you're rotten Perenelle— I wouldn't have befriended you if I did!" Alice affirmed, and a weigh lifted itself from Pera's chest.

"I'm not daft, I know who your family is... but... I don't know, I guess I could sense you weren't completely like them" Alice paused, letting go of Perenelle, "You certainly don't carry yourself as openly as Sirius, but everything you just said I sort of already suspected"

"Really?" Perenelle asked— though frightened, if Alice could tell... did that mean her other friends could? Or Vaudeline?

"Oh— no! I don't mean to get you in trouble" Alice corrected, her hand to her mouth, "I just mean, you're a bloody nice person and I've never actually heard or known you to be mean to anyone for their blood status" She paused again,

"Granted, I didn't know you were confused like this, but I knew that you weren't outwardly prejudiced, that's why what happened in the kitchens shocked me!"

"Oh" Perenelle sniffled, wiping her face, "So you still want to be mates?"

"Of course I do Per, I just wanted you to understand that everyone deserves respect— even house elves, but I'm glad you're figuring that out on your own"

Perenelle sunk lower into the bench, tucking a wayward curl behind her ear, and though she felt better she was astonished that she had actually told someone her true (albeit, muddled) feelings.

"You're the only person that knows... that I'm confused" Perenelle admitted, and Alice smiled, "I can't tell anyone else, not because they wouldn't understand, but if my parents found out... Merlin I don't know what would happen"

That was partially true, as Perenelle could possibly one day tell Marceline. Marcie Avery was her best friend, and definitely more lapsed than other Sacred Twenty Eight's, though she couldn't risk word getting back to Vaudeline.

She liked to think her sister would keep such information to herself. Though sadly— genuinely heart achingly, she was not sure.

"How long have you felt like this?"

Perenelle bit her cheeks, and stared down, avoiding Alice's eyes. Her fingers were busy fiddling with a loose thread on her cloak.

"I don't know... definitely more seriously this year" She paused, barely above a whisper. "But I think I started to look at things differently when my sister left, she said some things that stuck with me I guess"

There was a pause again, and Alice leaned in closer.

"Andy, right?" Alice asked, "I think Sirius has mentioned her"

Perenelle whipped her head up so fast she thought she may have given herself whiplash—

"Sirius is in touch with Andromeda?"

Perenelle's heart was pounding, and Alice's mouth was open, though no words were spoken. She felt the urge to cry again, though for what she wasn't sure. Was she sad? Jealous at the thought her sister spoke to Sirius? Whatever it was it made her chest tight and her head fuzzy.

"I don't know..." Alice admitted, "You'd have to ask hi—"

"—Oh no" Perenelle interrupted, a chuckle escaping her lips as she wiped her cheeks. She didn't think she wanted to know. It would be better to imagine her sister was out there than to actually know, yet not be able to do anything about it.

"I can't speak to Sirius, even if I wanted to he'd never tell me" She shook her head, and Alice pursed her lips.

"I just don't know what to do— about any of it" Perenelle admitted, her brows furrowed. "How am I supposed to figure anything out for myself when my whole life has been planned and carefully kept under surveillance?"

She wasn't even sure she wanted to figure out her feelings. Part of her wanted to bury them deep and continue life as though nothing happened. Graduate, get married, have a few kids... live undisturbed with a heavy wallet and full social calendar like every woman in her family before her.

Though she was smart enough to know that the nagging feeling would follow her wherever she went, whatever she did— if she didn't sort herself out now it would loom over her like a dark cloud as long as she lived.

It only added to her confusion.

"I don't know, I'm not saying you should forsake everything all at once... but it might be nice to start small and see how you feel" Alice suggested, "You've spoken to Lily, maybe say hello at the odd prefects meeting? Or take Gideon and Fabian for example, you could accept Gid's apology and maybe become, I don't know, acquainted with them"

Saying hello to Lily Evans when no one else was around was something she could handle, though Perenelle couldn't help the involuntary face she made at Alice's mention of Gideon Prewett. Despite any earlier attraction and confusion directed towards the red headed boy, hot anger surged through her once she remembered how he had so casually made a fool of her.

"I'm not saying become best mates with them" Alice corrected, laughing at Perenelle's expression, "But maybe come with me when I hang out with them and Frank once in a while, as a group"

"...Perhaps" Perenelle relented, crossing her arms over her chest. Was she mortified by him?Absolutely. Though a small inkling of her childhood crush lived deep in her mind— itching to see what would happen if she actually befriended Gideon Prewett.

"How about this" Alice propositioned, a mischievous glint in her eye that made Perenelle nervous. "I know that Gideon has a cold and skipped his classes and practice today, but Fabian is his co-captain and quidditch practice let out a few minutes ago... if you go now you might be able to catch him"

Perenelle's jaw dropped, and she almost laughed at Alice's suggestion. "I'm sorry— go out and seek Fabian? For what purpose? Alice I think you've lost your mi—"

"— Do you want my help or not? Besides, Fabian's a softie and is convinced you hate him by proxy now, clear the air and tell him the idiot can approach you to apologize without getting his bollocks blown off"

Perenelle paused for a moment, though Alice's expression made it hard to refuse, she was willing to help her sort out her internal dilemma, it was the least she could do. Fabian Prewett wouldn't bite. (She hoped).

"Fine."

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If that morning someone told Perenelle that when she was supposed to be going to dinner she would instead be stalking the quidditch changing rooms in search of Fabian Prewett, she would have laughed in their face.

Though that was exactly what she was doing, and nervous butterflies raked through her stomach much more akin to the violent flight pattern of Cornish pixies.

She was worried she might vomit. Though she didn't, and she watched as one by one— even her cousin, especially her cousin, left the changing rooms until all that remained was Fabian.

In her anxiety over avoiding her cousin Perenelle had failed to notice the absence of his best friend, and considering the two were normally attached at the hip like freaky conjoined twins her nerves were especially heightened.

Nonetheless she spotted him, James— as he and Fabian left the changing room together, Fabian pausing to lock them.

It was in that moment that Perenelle made an incredibly rash decision— one that had her mind not been severely altered by the adrenaline she certainly wouldn't have made.

She decided to kill two bird with one stone, why stop at Fabian Prewett when she could attempt a cordial conversation with James Potter as well? That would show Alice. And she left her hiding spot behind the posts and walked towards them before she could change her mind.

"—Know you're not in the right head space today, it's okay, just work on the drills when you feel up to i—"

"— Hello!" She said, completely cutting Fabian off, and she fought to control her expression once she realized what Fabian had been alluding to.

James was grieving Charlus.

However, she was far too deep in whatever disaster she had started to back out now.

"Er— hi?" James said, brows furrowed in confusion, though Fabian's expression was blank, and Perenelle cleared her throat awkwardly as she noticed the cold Autum air suddenly felt hot against her skin beneath her cloak.

"I was wondering if I could have a moment Fabian, but Potter, while you're here" She paused, and turned to Sirius' best friend— who was looking at her as though she had suddenly grown a second head. To be fair, the two had never spoken, and whatever he had heard about her from Sirius couldn't have been good.

"I wanted to offer my condolences on Charlus' passing, I'm not sure how you're related... but his mother Dorea is my great aunt" She spit out, and James face softened, though the confusion didn't leave his features, "I did not know him as well as I suspect you did, but still... I'm sorry"

"Yeah— thank you" James said cautiously, "our fathers were brothers... my aunt Dorea's a nice lady, erhm— thanks Black" and he left, waving goodbye to Fabian.

Perenelle's cheeks were hot with both embarrassment and exhilaration. Fabian was looking at her as though he was unsure how to proceed. Which was smart, considering she had threatened his brother the last time she had spoken to him.

"I'm not upset with you" She spat out awkwardly, "I just— wanted you to know, and it was nice catching up with you that day before, well—"

"— Before my moronic brother insinuated you shagged your cousin" He finished, chuckling a little, and Perenelle breathed out a laugh.

"Yes, exactly" She said, crossing her arms over herself, unsure of what to do— it was strange. She hadn't been alone with Fabian since they were small.

"I liked it to, it's nice to talk to you Black, I'm glad you're doing well— and yknow, not shagging your cousin" He grinned, and Perenelle rolled her eyes, though quickly raised her arms in defence,

"It's okay, I can laugh about it now" and the pair of them began to laugh before Perenelle's expression sobered— remembering why she had came.

"You can tell Gideon that I'll accept an apology from him without trying to hex him if he's willing, and I hope to see you guys around with Alice if that's okay" She said sheepishly, and Fabian snorted.

"I'll tell him, and yeah I'd like that— I'm sure he would too, are you headed to dinner? I'll walk you?"

And so she let him do just that— though not all the way of course, she didn't have a death wish. She merely said he could leave her by the lavatory and he could go on without her.

She was actually enjoying Alice's plan of small steps forward, though walking into the Great Hall with Fabian Prewett would surely send her sister on a rampage, which Perenelle did not need.

Another thing Perenelle did not need was exactly what happened, as before she was able to open the door to the lavatory a hand gripped the shoulder of her cloak and spun her around.

Perenelle's eyes went wide once she realized it was her cousin, and before she could say anything Sirius narrowed his eyes at her,

"What on earth did you do that for?"

"I beg your pardon?" She asked, stepping away from him, her good mood instantly soiled— it was frightening how similar Sirius looked to his mother, especially angry, as his inquisitorial stare made her feel incredibly small despite her only being a few inches shorter than him.

"James— quit the shit Perenelle do you know something?" If Pera didn't know any better she would think Sirius looked frightened, though of what? It couldn't be her, she hadn't done anything, and she certainly didn't know what something he was referring to.

"What? I have no idea what you're even bloody talking about, I was just being nice for Merlin's sake" She said— genuinely, and Sirius could tell. For a moment he seemed relieved, though his expression turned blank and he turned away from her.

"Right."

"Right? Sirius why's it so hard to believe that I can be nice!" She questioned, following after him, though he didn't answer.

If he had caught her in a different mood perhaps she would have thrown a dig— or worse, burst into tears, though Alice's faith in her and her ability to make steps sat weighing on her mind.

"Sirius— wait"

He paused, and turned to her expectantly.

"I know you and uncle Alphard were close... you'd want to know— it's not good, they don't think he'll make it long after Yule" She said, and Sirius' face fell, "I'm sorry"

She meant it. Truly she did, though Sirius didn't answer, instead stalking away from her and down the corridor.

At least she can tell Alice she tried.

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hello hello! I'm so happy to have another update (and a longer one at that) out so soon!
please remember to vote and comment as I absolutely adore hearing from you all x
next on gold rush...
perenelle receives an apology and the third detention leaves a catastrophic mess in its wake, though Pera finds an unexpected confidante in a newly found friend x
until next time, Jess x