My feet tapped against the tile floor as the TV played in the background. My heart hammered in my chest, causing my vision to pulse. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, there's nothing wrong. He's just getting older, and he's ready to retire. Maybe I'll get to meet Emma today.

The small waiting room of Los Angeles' branch of First Choice Dogs smelled vaguely of lavender. The white tiles reflected the lights from the ceiling, almost giving me a headache. The only people in the room were the receptionist and myself. Killian had tucked himself in behind my feet, and I could barely hear his snores over the TV playing quietly in the corner. 

A door opened to my left, "Moore, Killian?"

I nudged Killian's side gently with my heel and stood. Killian jumped up, not quite as fast as he used to but still pretty fast. I quickly scanned over him, making sure he hadn't somehow hurt himself while lying there, before looking to the specialist who would be seeing Killian. 

A kind face smiled back, name tag reading 'Fabiola'. Her white coat hung loosely off her shoulders, and her warm smile infected my own face. She held a clipboard under her arm- neon pink, just like her scrubs. My blood heated just a little, but I couldn't remember why she would frustrate me. I shook it off, there was no way she was that bad.

"Samantha, good to see you. Let's get him into a room, yeah?" Fabiola stepped to the side as I approached. "We'll be in room 9 today."

"Thank you," I mumbled, stepping past her and instantly spotting the room labeled '9'. I brought Killian forward, stopping briefly to have him step on a scale. Fabiola muttered something about 'underweight' under her breath, before jogging ahead of me a bit to open the door to our room. 

"What's brought you in today? Killian just had his annual a couple of months ago according to his file, and it seemed like he was fine, if a bit older," Fabiola asked, sitting on the rolling stool as I sat in a stationary chair. 

I cleared my throat, "Well, we were at a show, and I brought Killian up on stage with me."

"Has he been on stage with you before?" Fabiola interrupted, rolling forward. 

Ah. Chronic interrupter. A memory flashed in my mind of when the last vet we went to outside of FCD didn't actually listen to my concerns that Killian was allergic to something in the food I had been giving him and told me that it would be okay. Spoilers: It wasn't okay, he's allergic to wheat now.

"A couple of times before, and he's been fine. I brought him up last time and he wouldn't stop shaking. It was like back when I first started with him. I was taking him off stage when he practically dove off the stage, and he ended up hurting his back left leg," I snapped my fingers, turning Killian around to have his hind to face Fabiola.

She hummed again, "Have you been giving him the food that's listed here in his file- uh... Wheaty Bits?"

I huffed in annoyance, "I've tried to find a food with the same benefits, but Wheaty Bits has wheat in it, which we figured out he's allergic to. So, no."

Fabiola nodded, "Alright. Any other issues?" She gently took his leg and began moving it around. 

I racked my brain for a moment, "Yeah, I brought him to a video shoot and he blocked one of my bandmates, which we trained him not to do. He gave them a hard time when they had to get him while I was having a panic attack. He hasn't been the same since we moved here from Florida."

Fabiola looked up at me, eyebrow raised accusingly, "You had to leave him somewhere?"

I grit my teeth, "We were shooting at an indoor pool, and I said we could keep him in the green room so that we didn't accidentally get dog hair in the water. We would have had to pay a fee and I didn't feel like doing that."

Fabiola nodded, looking back down at Killian and not-so-subtly shaking her head exasperatedly. After a couple of minutes, she asked for the leash and led him around the room. Another hum- I swore in my head that if she hummed one more time I'd start screaming.

"Alright Sam, I've got good news and bad news. Which one do you wanna hear first?" Fabiola asked after about 20 minutes of working with Killian.

"Bad news," I mumbled. My heart slammed in my chest, but I took deep breaths. My heart still hammered, but it didn't shake my whole body.

"Killian needs to retire, sooner rather than later," Fabiola stated simply, handing Killian's black leash back to me.

I gripped onto the woven fabric, "How soon?"

Fabiola shrugged, "Honestly if we could have the next service dog ready instantly, I'd say right now. Killian is possibly developing dementia, definitely beginning to develop arthritis." She stood up, brushing herself off before sitting back down on the stool.

I sighed, the thought of retiring Killian so quickly running through my brain. We couldn't do that though, so I pushed the thought off until later. "What's the good news?"

Fabiola's eyes lit up, "Yes, the good news!" She clapped her hands, "We just got a litter of golden retrievers. If you'd like, we can go look and see which one you'd like us to train to be your next dog."

My eyebrow quirked up, "Right now?"

"Mhm," Fabiola stood. "We can keep Killian in here, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

I stood, pulling Killian up next to me, "I'll bring him with."

Fabiola nodded, "Alright, let's go."

She led me out of the room and down the hallway, where I could hear barks and yips coming from. Killian padded along next to me, occasionally touching my hand with his nose.

Dementia? I knew dogs could get arthritis- they warned me about it when I first got Killian, but dementia? I bit my lip, pushing it to the side- I could deal with it later. 

Fabiola opened the door to the Puppy Play Area. A litter of about 8 golden retrievers sat curled inside one of the kennels, nursing from an older-looking retriever. She barely lifted her head when the door opened, then laid her head back down and resumed her nap. The puppies wriggled around each other, whining and yipping as they fed.

Fabiola approached the pile, searching through and pulling out a couple of the dogs. "I know you mentioned you wanted a female this time around, and unfortunately momma here only gave birth to 2 that survived. We have these two." She brought me the dogs and, after I secured Killian's leash around my waist, handed them to me.

Both couldn't have been more than a couple of weeks old. They wriggled in my hands, milk dripping from their lips. Both had silky smooth fur and looked identical. Both had their eyes closed still and sniffed heavily on my hands.

"They were just born a few weeks ago. They haven't opened their eyes yet, but they're developing just fine," Fabiola came over and scratched the right one gently on the forehead. The puppy picked her head up but plopped it right back down. 

I looked over at the left one and noticed its eyelids fluttering. My heart fluttered in my chest as the puppy's eyes opened. She looked right at me, little butt wiggling as fast as it could as she licked my thumb.

"This one," I whispered, opening my hand a little. I brought my left hand closer to my chest as Fabiola took the one from my right hand. The puppy crawled onto my chest, sniffing at my hair.

"Emma, right? That's what you wanted to name her?" Fabiola asked, grabbing a clipboard with a tiny collar on it.

"Yup," I mumbled, pulling Emma away from my chest. I brought her down to Killian, letting him sniff her a little before pulling away. 

"Wonderful," Fabiola clipped the little collar around Emma's throat. "She'll go through all the training- not to worry, we still have all of Killian's commands written down here somewhere. We'll spay her, get all her vaccines in, and if the training goes well, she'll be ready in 2 years."

2 years seemed like a long time, but it was actually quite short for a company that worked with service dogs. They trained them day in and day out, getting them ready as soon as possible.

My mind flashed to Killian again as I gently ran a finger over Emma's nose, "If something happens to Killian, when is the soonest I could have Emma?"

Fabiola thought for a moment, "Year and a half, but you'd have to handle all of the socializations yourself."

I nodded, "I figured. Thanks, Fabiola."

"Of course Sam, let me walk you out." She took Emma from my arms and led me back outside. I got Killian into the car and checked my phone for the first time in a few hours.

Zach: The other guys are going to SmackDown, want to join me to smack down some pizza? Pizza Johns has a 2 4 1 deal and we could get our own pizzas.

I laughed a little before responding.

Me: Sounds good. Want me to come over now?

Zach: Hell yeah. I'm about to start a Harry Potter marathon.

Me: 👀 Omw

I quickly shifted the car into drive, punched in Zach's address, and took off. 

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸

I pulled into the driveway of Zach's house just as Zach was getting the pizza from the driver. He triumphantly held up three boxes as I stepped out of the car. I waited until the driver pulled away before I let Killian out of the car. Killian ran up the driveway and between Zach's legs to get inside.

"Goddamn, Kil!" Zach shouted, raising a leg as Killian passed through, "How'd the appointment go?"

I groaned, "Don't wanna talk about it right now. Pizza first." I passed Zach, taking the boxes. "I thought it was 2-for-1, not 3-for-1?"

"I got us garlic knots," Zach said casually as the door softly clicked shut.

I saw the receipt still said more than $20. I turned to Zach, "Do you need me to pay you back? Cuz I can-."

"Sam, it's my treat. It's fine, I promise," Zach approached, looking at the pizza box labels. He mumbled something, but I couldn't really focus on that. 

Zach almost towered over me. And, lord, how had I not noticed how nice he smelled before? I bit my lip, holding back from taking a deeper sniff. 

Wait, this was weird. Zach was my friend, and he had a girlfriend. I shook my head, long hair falling around my face. Gross, gross, gross. Speaking of Katie...

I took a step to the side, snapping myself out of whatever the hell that was, "Where's Katie?"

Zach winced, gripping onto a garlic knot particularly hard, "Something about work. This new place has been keeping her late to train her with everything." Zach looked over at me, "Was the appointment that bad?"

"Huh?" I grabbed the second box of pizza, plopping the other half of the garlic knots and placing them around the crust.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, Sam," Zach chuckled a little, "And I know I'm not that scary."

I laughed, "Fair enough. The appointment was not great."

Zach hesitated, looking at Killian as he slowly closed the lid to his pizza, "What's going on with him?"

I gulped, turning away from looking at Killian myself. A lump formed in my throat, what the hell is wrong with me? I saw this coming, I should be better than this. "He's developing arthritis, and possibly dementia."

Zach didn't say anything. I moved to the fridge, opening it up to look at what drinks he had available. While I was debating between Dr. Pepper and Sprite, two strong arms wrapped around me from behind. Zach tucked his head into my shoulder and quietly asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

Warmth pooled in my stomach. I clenched my jaw, fighting away the tears. Shrugging, I reached down and detached Zach's arms. 

"What movie are we starting with tonight?" I asked, finally deciding to just drink a sparkling water.

Zach smiled, "Figured we'd start with number one, obviously. See how far we get before one of us passes out."

I laughed, "Definitely you first."

Zach gasped in mock offense, placing a hand on his chest, "Sam! I'm hurt."

"I'm not wrong," I grabbed my pizza box and walked into the living room. Killian had laid himself down right next to the glass coffee table and was snoring quietly. My smile wavered as I sat on the couch. He had to be okay.

Zach sat down next to me, grabbed the remote, and turned the TV on. I looked over at him for a second, biting the inside of my lip. 

I couldn't like him like that. It would never work out.

Right?