Forget Me Not
"So you can't call me back? Or are you choosing to ignore my text?" Niamh slammed her Marc Jacobs handbag on the desk.
"If you wanted me to call you and talk about Dan, then I'm not really interested Niamh" I rolled my eyes and avoided eye contact with her.
"Wow, you're unbelievable! If you had called me then I would have been able to explain why I think Dan is lying about his identity."
"And why is that? You don't even know who Dan is. You've never spoken to him. So miss detective..who really is Dan? Please enlighten me." I began raising my voice in anger.
"You're gonna think I'm crazy. But, I honestly think it's Finn." Niamh looked at me worried that I wasn't going to believe her.
"Have you ever thought that not everything is about you? Have you for one second just thought that maybe a guy could actually just like me and not have an ulterior motive? Can you for once just keep your overreactive imagination to yourself?" I was fed up of Niamh always trying to make everything about her.
"So you really think this guy is into you huh? He appears out of nowhere, messaging you every day, inviting himself to the Gala, already wanting to come to your house... Isn't that a bit strange and fast paced?" Niamh was becoming increasingly patronising. It was as if she was in awe that a good looking guy was actually showing an interest in me for once.
"Well, that says it all really doesn't it. You're just jealous. Just because Noah is in love with Myah and wouldn't bat an eyelid at you once, doesn't mean that you have to inflict you're insecurities and jealousies on me Niamh." I said in a bitchy tone.
"I've seen him. He's not dead." Niamh stared me in the eyes so deeply, that I could sense her innermost fear.
"You're lying. How can he be alive? Charity said he was dead. It's finished Niamh. Why can't you just let him go?" Part of me wanted to believe that Niamh was entirely obsessed with Finn, that she was making this up, but deep down I could sense that their was some truth in what she was saying.
"He's alive Isla. Believe it or not but I'll prove it to you. He's not who he says he is and he's using you to get back at me." The sheer terror in her voice was evident. The hurt that she had been suppressing for so long was resurfacing and her body was physically reacting. I could see the goosebumps on her arms. The classroom was far from cold. I knew she was afraid.
"And why are you so sure he's alive?", I began to wonder whether maybe there was some truth in what she was saying.
Niamh pulled an envelope out of her bag and stared at it. She pushed it across the table and waited for me to read it.
I opened the envelope and pulled out a ripped piece of black paper. In a white inked pen it read:
"Watch out, love bites"
"What is this supposed to mean?" I asked with an insolent tone in my voice.
"It's a Def Leppard song, Love bites. Finn used to play it when were together"
I paused.
"Its probably someone messing with you. It doesn't mean its Finn." I was trying to hide that I was perturbed about the note.
"No one knew that was our song, other than Finn and I. Honestly, Im creeped out Isla. I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't worried. The last thing he ever said to me was: 'Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the earth, like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones." It was a quote from Jeffrey Daniel and his poem 'The Archipelago of Kisses'. Do you even know what means?"
"You're being paranoid Niamh, I'm sure we can figure out who gave you this note." I was trying hard to justify not only to Niamh but also to myself, that this could not have been the workings of Dan.
"You don't get it do you? Those last words Finn said to me, he was telling me he was coming back. He wasn't going to stop." Her voice became increasingly louder and I could sense the classroom become almost silent that I could hear only the sound of the whiteboard marker screeching against the board.
"Miss Miller and Miss Davidson, Is there something you would like to share with the class?" Mrs Anderson jumped in with a sarcastic tone.
"We're done Miss." Niamh gave me a long hard look whilst picking up the letter and stuffing it into her bag. She grabbed her bag and coat then paced out the classroom before Mrs Anderson could call her back.
School finished and I rushed home. I needed to find out whether this was all in Niamh's head. Could Dan be Finn? It seemed like a stretch of the imagination to think that the two individuals, so different in character, could possibly be the same person. I knew Niamh was my friend but I also knew how her anxieties surrounding Finn would get the better of her.
*VRRR* A notification popped up on my screen from Dan.
"How was your day? I've been thinking about you."
I shut my laptop. My heart wanted me to reply but my mind was telling me to wait. I grabbed my phone and opened my music app. I scrolled through and clicked on Dan's playlist. I clicked play. Three Days Grace song 'I Hate Everything' began playing. As I continued to scroll through the playlist, I got to track 13. I froze. My body went cold. It was the song. It was the song Niamh was talking about. I clicked on it. 'Love Bites' began to play. I couldn't believe it. This was not a coincidence. I should have known. I should have been wiser. I should have believed my best friend. The numbness and horror took over my weak body.
George Eliot had once said 'Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them', and in that moment I had realised that the only death that had occurred was that of a chance of happy ending for not only myself, but for Niamh. She was right. He had returned, like he had never left. The dice had been rolled and the games had begun once more. We were in danger.
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