Do to anxiety and emotional crisis' I have decided to delete Lost. It is starting to get to me do to my Grandpa possibly having surgery this week or sometime this month, my friend that died, and another friend who is really sick. I'm scared and don't want to lose anyone else. And since Lost is based off of real people that I know it gives me nightmares of them dying. My cousin/friend I've known since birth (literally) has been slowly leaving me. It's like we've moved on from our childish dreams of having our own restaurant together, our complicated childish ideas, and the memories that we made. I want everything to go back. To when my grandpa was healthy, to when I was close to my cousin/friend, to when everything was simple, to when it seemed nothing could go wrong and life was perfect... I'm legitimately crying and tired of holding in all this hurt. I've kept my head high and I kept smiling ever since I could remember my life starting to turn into this. I feel utterly alone and my cousin/friend was my string to happiness and now it has been cut. Looking back on my childhood it was all I could have asked for. It was perfect. It had its ups and downs but the memories that I have are priceless. They had times when I genuinely smiled. When I actually was happy. The truth is my life feels like I'm the rock in a pile of gems. I may have crystal inside but it's too hard to get to. I'm different but not special. I'm sorry guys but I feel as if I'm slowly dying inside. It hit me today and now I feel like a nobody. Sorry that I turned a notice into a paragraph about my feelings... You guys probably have better things to do than worry about me.

I help people wherever I go and I want you guys to do the same. Try to do what I couldn't. Enjoy life in its fullest and try to stay close to the ones you truly love and the ones who truly love you back.

Crying myself to sleep,
Warrior_Fangirl