Mutual

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal na napanganga. No word came out from my mouth.

Napakurap ako nang ilang beses. Maya't maya din ang paglunok ko habang nakikipagtitigan kay Gab na hawak ang magkabilang kong braso.

Hindi pa ako masyadong nakakarecover sa kaba ko sa pag-akyat at ito na naman ang panibagong kaba. Pero hindi katulad ng kanina, ngayon ay unti-unting umaahon ang pag-asa sa puso ko. There's this tiny light I could see at the other end. Like the stars above and the lights of the crowded city, this tiny light means so much to me.

"P-Paano nangyari iyon?" naisatinig ko sa kabila ng matinding kabog ng dibdib ko. Ang init din ng buong mukha ko at hindi na ako magtataka kung biglang umusok iyon.

At ang kaninang ingay ng ibang guests dito ay naglaho. May limang magkakabarkada na lamang ang narito at kumukuha ng pictures na hindi rin nagtagal at bumaba.

"I couldn't tell you exactly how it happened. Basta't natatagpuan ko lamang ang sariling ngumingiti kapag naalala kita, nakikita kita. Namimiss kita kapag nawawala ka sa paningin ko at kahit kasama kita, hindi ko maiwasang mangulila. Anong tawag dito? I couldn't find the exact words to describe how I feel but one thing is for sure, Tiffany, I had never imagined myself being happy... until you came into my life."

"G-Gab, I don't know what to say..."

"Wala kang kailangang sabihin, Tiffany. I waited for this day to confess to you, letting you know how I feel about you. I couldn't forever be bound by that deal we had. I was the first to break it. I told you to not form any emotional attachment with me, least of all, fall in love with me, but it turned out that I defied that very same thing so willingly."

"I-I also feel the same way about you, G-Gab," naisatinig ko.

"H-Huh?"

"I'm falling in love with you, too," sambit ko habang nakatitig sa kanyang mga mata.

Bahagyang dumilat ang kanyang mga mata. "A-Are you sure about it?"

Tumango ako habang nakangiti.

"Oh." Kinulong niya ang mukha ko sa kanyang mga palad. Nanatili akong kagat ang ibabang labi. "I thought you'd run away from me after I told you everything."

Hindi ko maintindihan ang ibig niyang sabihin. Napakurap ulit ako ng ilang beses bago ako nagsalita.

"What were you trying to say earlier? Na hindi mo na kayang magpretend?"

He softly bit his lower lip and sighed. "I don't think I can continue pretending to be your husband, Tiff. You deserve more than that."

I knotted my forehead. "Mas lalong lamang akong naguguluhan."

"I mean we can make this real. I want to be your real husband. But we're not going there yet. Let's enjoy this stage first. We're not rushing, are we? I'll wait until you finally say that you love me."

I laughed. "So ano tayo ngayon? Mag-jowa? Ganoon?"

He chuckled. "I'm fine with that. I couldn't ask for anything else. Atleast, jowa na nakakasama ko sa bahay."

"Live-in partners?" banat ko pa.

Mas lumakas pa ang tawa nito. "Mag-asawang nasa getting-to-know-each-other stage. Does it sound right?"

"We've been in that stage for so long."

"But it has progressed. See? We already knew how we feel for each other."

I nodded. "Right."

"We'll help each other work this out, okay?" Tila pagkumbinsi nito sa akin.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na may munting takot akong nadarama pero pilit ko iyong iwinaksi. Ako pa ba ang mag-iinarte gayong pareho lang naman kami ng nadarama?

"Okay," nakangiting tugon ko.

Ilang saglit pa bago ko naramdaman ang pagpulupot ulit ng mga kamay niya sa baywang ko.

Is there another best feeling aside from being in Cloud 9? Oh gosh. This place literally gave me different tastes of it.

"Ito na ba iyong dapat na sasabihin mo sa'kin pero laging nauudlot?" tanong ko.

"I was sending you signs but you're blind to see them,"

"Your signs are confusing, Gab, kung alam mo lang."

"I'm sorry. I'm not good at this. But I hope you'll still walk with me all the way."

He cupped my face that made me look up at him. Gahibla ang pagitan ng aming mga mukha. Humaplos ang hininga niya sa mukha.

Napahawak ang mga kamay ko sa kanyang mga braso. "Okay," at mahinang tumango.

A moment after, naramdaman ko ang pagdikit ng mga labi niya sa mga labi ko. I dropped my eyes closed and responded to his slow gentle kiss that's enough to shake me within.

"Thank you, babe," he said and planted a kiss, this time on my forehead.

"Nakakadalawa kana sa noo ko," puna ko sa kanya at humagikhik.

Saglit pa itong napaisip bago gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi niya na tila napahiya. "You saw that."

He softly bit his lower lip, his hand caressing my back.

"I did. Nagnanakaw ka ng halik. You kissed me on the cheek twice," pambubuko ko at pagkuway umirap sa kanya.

He brought his fingers on his chin and looked away as if thinking. "In return, I will allow you to steal kisses from me anytime and anywhere you want.

I shook my head. "I don't think I'll ever do that."

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya. "Hindi mo sure yarn."

Napailing ulit ako habang nakangiti.

"Ikakagalit ba ng kalamay kung magiging sweet tayo sa isa't isa?" narinig kong banat niya.

Napatawa ulit ako. "Oh. Gab, please shut up."

"Okay. Sige. Bababa na tayo. Diyan tayo dadaan sa hanging bridge."

He gently pulled my hand taking me to the stairs. Maraming floors kaming nadaanan bago marating ang ibaba.

Napawi ang kaba ko nang mapagtantong hindi kami dadaan sa hanging bridge. Nagawa pa akong lokohin nitong kasama ko.

Maybe, I will cross it again, in the near future. Babalik naman kami rito, diba?

We entered the hotel again. While Gab made some arrangement, mabilis na sinuyod ng mga mata ko ang lugar sa pangamba na makita si Cheryl. Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong hininga nang hindi ko siya namataan.

                              ***

"Good morning, babe," Gab greeted me as I opened my eyes. His husky voice made me swallow. We cuddled every night. At ramdam ko ang pagliparan ng mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko kapag nagigising ako sa tabi niya.

"Good morning," nakangiting tugon ko na lalong siniksik ang ulo sa dibdib niya. Naramdaman ko ang paghagod ng kamay niya sa bandang likod ko.

"How's your sleep?"

"Okay lang naman. Parang nasa Cloud 9 pa rin!" hagikgik ko at bahagyang inangat ang ulo.

"Kung iba ang makakarinig niyan, iba ang iisipin."

"Na ano na naman?"

"Nothing."

I scoffed. Ito na naman si Nothing. "I know exactly what you mean."

"Ano ba?"

"Na may ginawa tayo?"

"Anong ginawa natin?"

"Nag- you know," sabi ko. Pero hindi naman talaga ginawa!

"Describe it," himok nito.

Umiling ako. "Ayaw."

"If you can't describe it then I'll show you how it's done," sabi nito at pumaimbabaw sa'kin.

He pinned my hands over my head and turned his gaze to me. His eyes lingered on my lips.

"We can't have sex yet."

"I know. I'm not in a hurry. We agreed not to do it unless we're completely in love with each other." Mas nilapit nito ang mukha at bumulong malapit sa tenga ko. His musk aftershave filled my nose. His minty breath fanning my face. "But we didn't agree to not kiss, did we?"

"Can we do it later?" Magsisipilyo pa kasi muna ako at maghihilamos.

Natatawa itong bumaba sa tabi ko at patihayang humiga. "Iyon pa talaga ang inaalala mo."

Bumangon na ako at binaba ang tingin sa kanya. "I don't want to look ugly when we kiss."

"You're beautiful in the morning."

"Sa tanghali at gabi, hindi na?"

"You're beautiful every second of the day," mahina ngunit may diin niyang sabi. He reached for my hand and squeezed it.

"Yun. Dapat kinaklaro mo."

He grinned and let go of my hand. "You have some business to do first, right? I'll be waiting." He rose and leaned towards me. "Brace yourself for a breath-taking kiss."

Napalunok ako sa sinabi niya at bago pa ulit ako magmukhang-kamatis ay umalis na ako ng kama at tinungo ang banyo.

Oh. Has it been a week already since we confessed that we're falling in love with each other?

Ah! I love mornings like this. I love waking up and seeing his face the moment I open my eyes. I love being caged in his arms. I love his kisses. I love talking to him, kahit walang kwentang topic pa iyon.

I fell in love with him so easily. Walang kahirap-hirap. Hindi mahirap gawin iyon sa katulad ni Gab.

May nakapa ulit akong takot. Ano naman ba ito?

To shy away from that fear, I pictured myself being happy again with Gab. Siguro iyon nalang ang iisipin ko.

Long ago, I'd normally cringe every time it slipped into my mind. I'd curse myself after catching myself thinking of him, tormenting myself. I couldn't accept the idea that I'm falling in love with him.

It was out of the plan. And we're not anywhere near our plan anymore, which I think is entirely good?

Gusto kong pag-usapan namin. But I wouldn't dare to open the conversation. I'm afraid it would ruin the moment. We should just enjoy this stage as he said, shouldn't we?

Mabilis akong nag-ayos at nang lumabas ako ng banyo, wala na si Gab sa kama. Tinungo ko ang kusina at nadatnan ko siyang naghahanda ng umagahan.

Nanuot ang amoy ng piniprito niyang bacon at ang kapeng timpla niya. Lumapit ako kay Gab na seryosong nakaharap sa stove. I threw my hands around his waist and tiptoed to plant a kiss on his cheek.

I felt he went solid. He turned off the stove and slowly turned to me, with his domineering look.

Did I do something wrong? What's with his sharp stare and clenched jaw?

"W-Why?" His stare became more intense dahilan para kumalas ako sa kanya at umatras.

His brow shot up. His face darkened. "You haven't realized what you did?"

"A-Ano?" Patuloy pa rin ako sa pag-atras hanggang sa napasandal ang likod ko malamig na dingding.

"You robbed a kiss!" may diing sabi nito. Tinukod nito ang dalawang kamay sa magkabilang gilid ko, declaring his territory.

"Ah. Yun lang pala," tugon ko. I looked up at him and laughed when his expression suddenly changed. He was biting his lower lip and looked like he was holding his laughter.

He cleared his throat. "Hindi pa nag-iisang linggo at kinain mo na ang sinabi mo."

"I couldn't help it."

Mayamaya pa at dumilim na naman ang mukha nito. "I want to take it back now."

And just like that his scorching lips captured mine, gently and slowly. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt his lips moving, taking its sweet time giving hot kisses. Ikinawit ko ang dalawang kamay sa kanyang leeg habang sumasabay sa paggalaw ng kanyang mga labi. Dumako ang palad niya sa likod ko at marahang humaplos doon. He pulled me closer to him, kissing me more passionately. I gasped only when his lips started trailing kisses on the corner of my mouth. Ilang sandali pa at bumalik din ito sa mga labi ko upang gawaran ulit ng isang mabilis at nakakaliyong halik. Nag-umpisang maging mapusok at mapaghanap ang halik niya. Kung hindi lamang siya nakasuporta sa likod ko ay paniguradong kanina pa bumigay ang mga tuhod ko at natumba.

Hanggang sa naging banayad ulit ang mga halik niya at mayamaya pa ay natagpuan namin ang mga sariling humihingal nang maghiwalay.

He cupped my face and softly kissed my forehead.

I drew closer to him and leaned on his chest, my hands wrapping his waist. Naramdaman ko ang isang kamay niya sa batok ko. His other hand gently stroked my back.

"Sobrang kabayaran na iyon sa ninakaw ko," I managed to say.

"I told you earlier we'll share a breathtaking kiss, didn't we?"

Breath-taking nga! I was panting for air when it ended. Hanggang ngayon bumabawi pa rin ako ng hangin na tila hinigop simula nang naglapat ang aming mga labi.

I couldn't count how many times we kissed already. But the one earlier was something I did not expect. Ilang beses na ba niyang sinabi na magsasalo kami sa isang breath-taking kiss? Ngayon lang niya ito tinotoo!

Had we kissed any longer, could we have done something so intimate already?

"Hindi mo lang matanggap na ninakawan kita ng halik," I added.

"Sabi ko sayo you're free to kiss me anytime and anywhere kaya tanggap ko ang ginawa mo. I would love it if you do it when you feel like doing to me."

"You're being cheesy, Gab!"

"Ikakagalit ba ng Eden kapag ganoon ako?"

"Ugh! Ang corny." Mahina ko siyang tinampal sa balikat.

"Kukunin na ba akong endorser ng Sweet Corn kapag di ako titigil sa kacorny-han?"

Humalakhak na ako at kinurot ang pisngi niya.

"Kaya gustong-gusto kong magising sa umaga," halos pabulong nitong sambit.

"You told me it's your favorite part of the day."

"Yes. Now I have more reasons to like every second of the day. Hindi lang sa umaga, Tiffany. Gusto ko ang bawat sandaling nakakasama kita katulad nito."