Cake

Nawili si Nam sa paglalaro kaya naman medyo late na kaming kumain ng tanghalian. Sabay kaming kumain ng mga kasambahay. Katabi ni Pamela si Nam at inalalayan niya ang bata sa pagkain.

"Anong paboritong ulam mo, baby?" malambing na tanong ni Leah at napahalumbaba sa harap ni Nam.

Lumunok muna si Nam bago magsalita. "Itlog po," maikling sagot nito.

"Wala ng iba?"

Nam nodded. She continued eating cheerfully.

"Pero fried chicken na po gusto ko ngayon," ani Nam sabay kagat sa pritong manok na hawak nito.

Nagtawanan kaming lahat.

"Gusto mo ng shrimp?" tanong ulit ni Lea at inalok sa bata ang buttered shrimp.

Nam shook her head. "Hindi po ako pwedeng kumain ng shrimp."

"Huh? Bakit naman?" Saglit akong napatigil sa pagkain.

"Sabi po ni Mama."

Pamela looked at me. "Kasi Maam allergic po siya sa ibang seafood gaya po ng pusit, alimango at hipon. Okay lang po sa kanya 'yong isda."

I pouted my lips. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Nam. It's not like you're going to die without eating other seafood. But, depriving yourself of those is putting you in a situation where you'll be asking yourself how it feels to taste them.

Nam was being slowly conditioned by her mother to be mindful of what she eats.

"Anong nangyayari kapag nakakakain siya ng mga ganoon?" I asked, feeling worried.

Pinahiran ni Pamela ang bibig ni Nam. Kinuha ni Nam ang baso at ininom na mag-isa ang lamang tubig. "Nagkakarashes po siya tapos nahihirapan pong huminga. One time po kasi may ulam kaming hipon tapos nakain po niya. Bigla nalang po siyang namula tapos nagkaroon ng malalaking pantal sa buong katawan. Akala ko kung napano na 'yong anak ko. 'Yong takot ko talaga no'n hindi ko mailarawan."

Nanlumo si Lea habang nakikinig kay Pamela. Ako naman ay nahabag dahil alam kong mag-isa lamang itong nagtataguyod sa pamilya. Ang mga magulang niya ay kapwa matatanda na at hindi na kayang magtrabaho.

"Sinugod agad namin sa ospital kasi naapektuhan na rin 'yong paghinga niya. Mabuti nalang at naasikaso kaagad ng doctor. Gumaling din po siya pero lagi ko na pong binubusisi ang mga kinakain niya kasi mahirap na po. Baka maospital ulit."

My chest felt heavy hearing her story. Si Manang Artely at Manang Lucia ay napabuntong-hininga pagkatapos magkwento si Pamela.

"Ganoon talaga kapag may anak na. Mararanasan mo talaga ang mga hindi inaasahan. Kapag ganoong buhay na ng anak mo ang nakasalalay, mas hihingilin mo nalang na ibigay sa'yo ang sakit at hirap basta't hindi lang masaktan at mahirapan ang anak mo," komento ni Manang Artely. Marami na itong karanasan sa pamilya kaya kitang-kita sa mukha nito ang simpatiya kay Pamela.

"Oh, narining mo 'yon Lea?" ani Manang Lucia at nginitian si Lea. "Walang ibang hangad ang magulang kundi ang kabutihan ng kanyang anak."

"Oo naman po," ngisi ni Lea. Ngumiti ito kay Manang Artely. Nahihiya mang aminin ngunit malinawag na napukaw ito sa sinabi ng kanyang ina. "Kayo po Manang Lucia, ano ba 'yong pinakamabigat niyong naranasan sa buhay-pamilya?"

"Sa pagpapalaki namin ng limang anak, masasabi ko na mahirap talaga pero masarap sa pakiramdam dahil nagiging bahagi ka ng buhay ng tao. Ang limang anak ko ang pinakamalaking regalo ko mula sa Panginoon. Mabuti naman at nagsipagtapos silang lahat sa pag-aaral, nakahanap ng trabaho at bumuo na din ng kanya-kaniyang pamilya. Siguro ang pinakamabigat na naranasan ko ay iyong naiwan akong mag-isa magpalaki ng mga anak ko. Namatay ang asawa ko nang nag-aaral pa lang ang mga anak ko. May tatlo akong kolehiyo at dalawang high school kaya naman sobrang hirap lalo na sa pinansyal na aspeto. Itinuturing ko talagang hulog ng Diyos ang pamilya nina Tiff sa amin dahil kung hindi kami tinulungan noon, hindi mararanasan ng mga anak ko ang kung ano mayroon sila ngayon."

I smiled and slowly nodded. Lubos din ang pasasalamat ng aming pamilya sa kanya dahil malaki ang naging parte ni Manang Lucia sa buhay namin. Lagi nitong sinasabi na malaki ang naitulong ng pamilya namin lalo na si Mommy dahil tinulungan nito ang mga anak niya na makapagtapos sa pag-aaral. Hindi biro ang magpaaral ng mga anak lalo na't sabay-sabay na nagkolehiyo ang tatlo niyang anak noon.

Hanggang ngayon ay patuloy pa rin ang serbisyo niya sa pamilya namin.

Saglit kaming natahimik. Nagpaalam si Nam na pupuntang sala at manonood ng TV.

Sinundan ito ni Pamela. When they left, Lea cleared her throat. "Bakit hindi na po kayo nag-asawa ulit Manang?"

"Naku. Kailangan ba talaga?" Tumawa ang matanda. "Maaga mang pumanaw si Gerardo ngunit hindi ko kailanman naisip na mag-asawa ulit. Noong mga panahon kasi na 'yon, ang tanging naiisip ko na lamang ay maitaguyod mag-isa ang pagpapalaki at pagpapa-aral ng mga anak ko. Sapat na si Gerardo at mga alaala naming dalawa para paghugutan ko ng lakas. Pero wala namang problema kung gugustuhin ng sinuman ang makahanap ulit ng katuwang sa buhay matapos mabiyuda o humiwalay sa asawa."

Bigla kong naisip si Mommy. I could still remember her suitors trying to win her heart, but Mommy bravely pushed them away. I didn't know the reason why she wouldn't want to try loving another man again. Siguro ay mahal pa rin nito si Daddy. That's what I always believe in.

"Katulad kayo ni Mama," tukoy ni Lea kay Manang Artely. "Hindi rin siya nag-asawa ulit simula noong namatay si Papa."

"Gusto mo ba maging pangalawang tatay iyong lasinggero, yung isang sugarol, at yung isang buntot nang buntot sa nanay niya na nanligaw sa akin?" her mother countered. It didn't look like she would let anyone ruin the peace they already have.

Marahas na umiling si Lea. "Hindi, Ma. Okay lang talaga na tayong dalawa nalang."

"Kaya ikaw, Lea, dapat makapagtapos ka ng pag-aaral at makapagtrabaho dahil iyon ang pangarap ng Mama mo," si Manang Lucia.

"Opo, Manang. Gusto ko po maging katulad ni Maam Tiff."

My forehead creased and I replied. "Huh? Bakit gusto mong maging katulad ko?"

I didn't mean to be rude, but I couldn't find any reason why she'd look up to me.

Maybe, she wanted to finish her studies and land a job abroad, too, just liked I did.

Lea was planning to continue her studies next year. She's on her third year in college supposedly but she stopped for a while to help her mother save enough money for the business they wanted to put up.

"Kasi gusto ko rin makatapos sa pag-aaral at makapagtrabaho sa ibang bansa, Ma'am. Katulad po ninyo," she honestly said. My guess was right. I believed she'd get what she always wanted for herself and for her only family.

Sometimes, you really don't need to have a lot of reasons to continue what you started. All it takes to get you working is your deepest why.

"At saka matalino rin po kayo magdesisyon sa buhay, Ma'am. Kaya bilib po ako sa inyo. Hindi na po kami nagtataka kung na-inlove po sa inyo si Sir Gab," sabi nito at umaktong kinikilig. She sounded sincere when she said it. And her words were genuine.

The side of my lips rose. If what Lea said were true, will I still be considered smart after making such a desperate decision to be Gab's wife for a year? All this time, since I agreed to his proposition, I couldn't help but look at myself as a foolish woman. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. I had maintained my confidence for so long but sometimes seeing our setup and knowing that people think we're truly in love made me feel that I couldn't keep up my untainted image. I couldn't imagine how Lea would react after knowing I'd become a divorced woman. But she didn't need to know. Not everyone should. Only Gab, Joriel, and I should know all about this.

"I'd be happier if you could surpass anything that I did," I said, wishing her on a good note. Not that I want her to do reckless decisions like marrying someone she barely knows.

She chuckled. "English po 'yon Ma'am. Buti nalang naiintidihan ko po ang ibig sabihin niyong sabihin," she humbly said. Of course, I knew she understood everything. She's smart. I noticed she likes reading and she always borrows books from Mom.

"Ikaw talagang bata ka," was my reply.

Everyone laughed.

It was such a hearty meal not only because of the food. It looked like everyone talked their heart out while eating.

I spent the whole afternoon reading the financial reports in the garden. As I sift through the pages, I realized that my skills wouldn't be of much help to Mom's business as of this time. Through the years, the business has been doing well and I was glad to know that Mommy's efforts didn't go to waste. I couldn't be leading it instantly without enough knowledge about how things work inside. I think I'd be needing more time before holding the highest position.

When I got bored reading, I went to the kitchen and prepared to bake. Ingredients were complete so making a cake would be easy. Nam was with me while doing it. She was quite the whole time while sitting beside the table.

She buried her head on her arms resting on top of the table. On her lap was the doll I gave her. She just woke up from an afternoon sleep kaya naman hindi makausap. I understood her because I was like that too when I was a kid. I smiled when I remember waking up in the afternoon and not wanting anything. I'd just stare out the window and rest my head on my palm.

After 30 minutes, the cake came out clean. I knew it would never be a disaster. I let it cool down for another 10 minutes, then added frosting. I took a picture first before slicing it.

"Gusto mo ng cake, baby?" I offered, holding a saucer with a slice of chocolate cake. She rose her head.

"Yes po." Nam nodded. I placed the saucer in front of her and gave her the fork. Tahimik niyang kinain ang cake.

"Can I taste it, too?" I heard a voice behind me. I immediately turned my back to see who it was.

"Gab!"

My eyes widened. I took a few steps towards him.

I didn't know he's coming home early. I was completely surprised that he came to visit our house. Every time he'd go home from Manila, he usually arrives at around 6 or 7 in the evening. Often, he would text me on his way home that he's bringing food for our dinner.

Now, I didn't think he had food with him.

He rather looked starving.

Did he not eat at all today?

"You want to try it?" I asked hesitantly. The last time we talked about cake, it didn't look pretty. He told me his reason and the last thing I wanted to happen is to brew some more pain.

He sat on the chair across Nam. "Yes, of course. Gawa mo 'yan, e."

I pouted and was forced to stifle my smile. It felt good that he's finally eating it no matter what his reasons.

"Are you sure?" I wanted to make sure.

He nodded. Then, he faced Nam. "It looks delicious. I want to eat it, too. This little girl is happily eating it and she sure likes it." He smiled at Nam. "Diba, baby?"

Nam smiled wide. I wasn't sure if she understood what he said. She looked like she did.

"She's Nam," I said, carefully slicing the cake.

"Nawala lang ako ng ilang oras, nagkaanak kana agad?" Gab threw a joke. He's smiling at Nam.

"Crazy!" I replied. He knew already that Nam is Pamela's daughter. I extended to him the cake he requested. "Here's your cake."

He laughed. "Thank you, babe."

Biglang nag-init ang pisngi ko. I suddenly shook my head. Dapat nasasanay na akong marinig ang endearment namin ni Gab.

I sat beside him. I turned to Nam. "Nam, siya si Gab. Call him Tito Gab."

"Tito Gab..." ulit ni Nam sa sinabi ko.

"Hi, Nam! Nag-enjoy ka ba dito?" ani ni Gab sa masiglang boses. Kumuha ito ng maliit ng slice ng cake at sinubo iyon.

Nam smiled when Gab patted her head. "Yes po, Tito Gab."

"Ano namang ginawa mo buong araw?" He's like interviewing her.

I started eating the cake, too. I feel confident knowing that I mastered baking since I was in college.

Leave to me the baking and I'll let anyone handle anything else.

"Naglaro, natulog at kumain po," she honestly answered and licked the chocolate on her fork.

"You want some more?" I asked her. She nodded so I took another slice for her.

"Very good, baby. Mag-enjoy ka lang sa paglalaro. Kung oras na matulog, matulog. Huwag kakaligtaang kumain kapag oras ng pagkain," saad ni Gab.

Mahinang tumango ang bata. She seemed to understand everything.

"Can I have another slice, too?" Gab asked, smiling. I didn't notice he finished his slice already.

I knotted my forehead. "Gutom ka talaga?"

He nodded. "Yes. I haven't eaten anything all day. Hindi ako nakapag-breakfast dahil nagmamadali na ako. May kailangan akong abuting conference. Nang tanghali na, hindi pa rin ako nakakain dahil nagmamadali akong umuwi."

"Bakit kasi nagmamadali ka?" sumbat ko. "Sana kumain ka muna bago umuwi. Ang galing mong mag-advice na kumain kapag oras ng pagkain. Hindi mo rin nagagawa."

He already knew how much it would take him to reach Tarragona. It's not like it's his first time going to this place. Sa sobrang abala niya, did he lose track of time?

"Nag-aaway po ba kayo?" inosenteng tanong ni Nam. Maybe, she noticed that I slightly raised my voice. Ito kasing si Gab...

"No, baby. Hindi kami nag-aaway," ani Gab at ngumiti nang malapad. "Nagmamahalan kami."

Pinandilatan ko siya.

He only shrugged his shoulders and then stared at Nam.

Nagpatuloy naman sa pagkain si Nam.
Sumulyap si Gab akin and then we locked eyes.

I returned my attention to my cake and pretended not to care about anything.

"You said last night you'll bake a cake today," he uttered as he watched me slice a cake.

"So?" I just told him my plan for today. Not that I expected him to be here to join me.

"I can't wait for my next birthday to eat it, so I rushed home."

My lips slightly parted. Napakurap ako ng ilang beses hanggang sa nahagilap ang sariling boses. "Y-You didn't have to."

"Yes. But I did," he softly said. "Because you're the one making it."