Lie

Matapos kumain at makapagbayad ay bumalik kami sa kanyang kotse. Bago pa niya tinahak ang daan pauwi ay napilit ko siyang pumunta muna ng mall. We're running out of time, so we need to rush things up. 10:00 pm pa naman nagsasarado ang mall kaya may dalawang oras pa kaming gugugulin sa loob.

"What are we doing here?" nagtatakang tanong niya habang iginala ang paningin sa loob ng boutique na aming pinasok.

Hinila ko siya sa mga nakahilerang dress. Pinasadahan ko ng aking mga daliri ang tela ng nagustuhan kong damit. It wasn't flashy but it's good enough for its price though.

"I want a prenuptial shoot featuring both haciendas. And uh, an interview from my friend, Klea. We have to buy our outfit for the pre- wedding shoot," excited na sabi ko sabay pakita sa kanya ng napili kong dress.

He knotted his forehead. His face screamed confusion.

Ibinaba ko ang dress na hawak ko.

"Hello? You know...the photo session before ang kasal ng magkasintahan. Yung naghahabulan at nagtatawanan sa dalampasigan, nagsasayawan sa niyebe, umaakyat sa puno ng niyog." Humagikhik ako.

I've seen hilarious pre-wedding shoots sa social media. Yung iba naglalaan talaga ng malaking budget para diyan. Some would even go abroad. Meron namang pinili ang simpleng konsepto lamang. May nakita pa nga akong sa bahay lamang nagpa prenup shoot habang gumagawa ang lalake at babae ng mga gawing bahay. Depende nalang sa magkapareha kung anong concept ang gusto nila.

"Of course, I know what a pre-wedding shoot is. My question is, why do we even need that?" aniya at kumurap-kurap ang mga mata.

"Hindi natin kailangan iyon. But through these photos we can convince people that we're...in love?" Tumango ako. "Yes. Iyon nga. Hindi ko naman iimbitahin ang mga kakilala ko. But they would eventually ask me why I decided to get married to you suddenly."

"Fine," tipid na sagot niya. "Where will we have it?"

Ibinalik ko ang damit sa clothing rack.

"Ikaw? Saan mo ba gusto?" tanong ko.

He shrugged. "You decide. I'm not good at this."

"Sa hacienda nalang namin or sa iyo since doon naman talaga tayo unang nagkita. Pwede rin namang both," I giggled.

Napailing siya habang nakangiti.

"Don't get too excited," paala nito. "Where did the 'simple wedding' go now?"

"I want a simple wedding but at the same time, I want to brag a bit," alinlangang sabi ko. Mahina akong tumawa. "Don't spoil the fun."

"All I understand is I don't understand," usal niya na hindi pa rin mawaglit ang ngiti.

"Just do what I say," masungit kong sabi. "Kahit setup lang 'to, we should atleast make the most out of it. You should cooperate with me. Ako lang naman ang kasagutan sa problema mo."

Narinig ko siyang pumalatak. Umaasa pa naman akong aawatin niya ang sinabi ko ngunit hindi na ito umimik.

In the end, we only bought what we'll wear for the proposal. Saka nalang muna ang para sa pre-wedding shoot dahil wala pa kaming maisip na concept. We talked about how his proposal will be done.

Napagpasiyahan naming sa bahay nalang ang proposal para makita ni Mommy.

"We need to show Mommy that we have developed feelings for each other, so you need to visit me at home everyday. Kunwari nililigawan mo ako. We must make everyone believe that we developed feelings for each other," basag ko sa katahimikan habang pauwi kami.

Bumaling ang kanyang tingin sa akin. Nakasandal ang siko niya sa bintana at ang kamay niya ay nakahawak sa gilid ng ulo niya. His other hand was holding the steering wheel.

"Don't worry. Mommy will never disapprove of this. I know her. My mother is a sucker for romance," dagdag ko.

"Really?" tanong niya at tinuon muli ang tingin sa daan.

"Yes. She likes you... for me, if you still didn't know," direktang sabi ko.

Narinig ko ang maluto niyang tawa.

"Bentang-benta ka kaya kay Mommy. Halos ipagtulakan na nga niya ako sa'yo eh," sabi ko pa at napabuntong-hininga.

"I guess my charm worked," he said, still laughing.

I rolled my eyes at him. He only pouted his lips wearing his evil smile.

If this is not lifting one's chair, then I don't know what it is.

Iniwas ko ang tingin at dinukot na lamang ang cellphone ko para i-check kung may natanggap ba akong mensahe.

One text message from an unknown number.

Unknown number:

Hi, Tiff. This is Aldrin. I got your number from Camille. Thank you for talking to me last time. It means a lot to me and to Fatima. I wish you happiness. Take care always.

I heaved a sigh. I turned my phone off and leaned against the window. Sa totoo lang ay nawaglit siya pansamantala sa aking isipan.

Thanks to Gab for saving my days.

I saw the signage as we left the city.

THANK YOU FOR LEAVING.

Natawa ako sa nabasa ako. Ang lakas ng drama ng naglagay ng signage na 'yon! Was it for me?

Naabutan ko si Mommy na nagbabasa ng magazine. Mukhang hindi niya narinig ang pagdating ng sasakyan ni Gab. Her eyes went on me as I walked towards her.

"Hi, Mom. You're still awake," bungad ko sa kanya.

I sat beside her. Nilapag ko ang dalang bag sa aking tabi.

I stretched both arms out and yawned.

"Kamusta ang dinner date niyo?" tanong ni Mommy na tila sabik na sabik sa sagot ko.

Hindi ko alam kung nakwento ba ni Ninang Geah sa kanya na nagkita kami ni Aldrin. Kung alam na niya, siguro ay hindi na niya gusto pa na pag-usapan namin iyon. Surely, she wants to hear more about Gab.

"It was lovely, Mommy," I softly said. "Gab is such a sweet guy."

Mommy dreamily sighed. She was really buying it. And the guilt crept on me. I shook my head to expel the negative thought.

Sa huli si Mommy ang lubos na masasaktan kapag maghihiwalay na kami ni Gab. She only wanted my happiness, and she has always dreamed of me having a family of my own. Pero hindi iyon maibibigay sa akin ng kasalang papasukin ko.

"He is. I told you before that once you get to know him, you'll see the real him," she proudly said.

Ang totoo? Hindi ko na alam kung sino ang paborito ni Mommy. Si Gab ba o ako? Because obviously she likes Gab more than me. He is her golden boy.

"Sana pinapasok mo muna dito sa bahay bago siya umuwi," ani Mommy.

My brow shot up. "What for, Mom? Halos buong gabi din naman kaming magkasama."

We reached the house at 11:45. Gab told me he must go back to Manila to attend a conference so we cannot see each other for two days. Kailangan niyang matulog nang maaga dahil maaga din siyang aalis bukas. Pero tatlong oras nalang yata ang itutulog niya. Nakaramdam ako ng awa. Pero sa isiping nasagot na ang problema niya dahil sa pagpayag ko sa setup ay malamang nagdiriwang iyon. Bahala siya. Dalawa din naman kaming makikinabang sa setup na ito.

"Magkape o manood ng TV," Mommy said, laughing.

"Seriously?" I chuckled. "He will be driving early this morning so he left as soon as he dropped me."

Napag-usapan namin na sa pagbalik niya ulit kami magkikita para magpasukat ng damit pangkasal sa Manila. Okay lang naman dahil magiging busy pa ako sa susunod na mga araw dahil sa papalapit na closing program sa school.

"Oh. Is that so? Well, anyway, I guess he will be visiting you frequently from now on," she sounded hopeful as she spoke.

Mapait akong ngumit. "Yes, Mommy. Will that be alright?"

Umiling si Mommy. "I have nothing against him, anak. I'm sure he'll make you happy."

Deep down inside, I have this feeling of being a bad daughter. Walang ibang hinangad si Mommy kundi mapabuti ang buhay ko at maging supportive sa mga bagay na ginagawa ko. I am about to enter a life I am not sure of. I couldn't tell what's waiting for me there. I only stick to the idea that I could gain something out of it.

Na mapapasaakin ang hacienda at pera na may meron naman kami. Mayaman ang pamilya namin at hindi ko kailangang magpakababa para makuha ang mga bagay na ito.

More than that, I hope the marriage will give me the distraction I badly need.

"What if I decide to marry soon?" I blurted out.

Sinakyan ko na ang pagiging futuristic ni Mommy. She must have in mind already my marriage life with her golden boy.

Hinawakan ni Mommy ang magkabilang palad ko. "Are you ready for it, Tiff? You know the risk. I've been there. Also, it's been a while since you almost...you know... got married but then..."

"Nagkausap na po kami ni Aldrin. We can't go back to being friends but at least we're okay," sagot ko naman at hinawakan ang magkabilang braso niya. "Nagkakilala na rin po sila ni Gab."

Umawang ang mga labi ni Mommy.

"Really?" tanong niya. "Have you forgiven Aldrin?"

I nodded. "Yes, Mommy. I think I have."

"You and Gab are serious about this, aren't you?"

"Yes, Mom. " I lied.

Mommy widely smiled like everything she was hoping for has been answered.

I enveloped my arms around her and closed my eyes. "Thank you for everything."

I feel sorry for her because I am about to do something reckless. At bago pa mangilid ang luha ko ay nagpaalam na ako sa kanya at pumanhik ng kwarto.

Nag-half bath muna ako bago nagpalit ng damit-pantulog.

"Hindi ka ba magugulat kapag sinabi kong magpapakasal ako?" tanong ko kay Zam nang tumawag ito para mangamusta. Nagsusuklay ako ng buhok habang nakikipag-usap sa kanya sa phone ko na nakaloud-speak.

"Hindi naman," sagot niya na tila walang pakialam.

"Huh?"

"Alam ko naman na doon kayo papunta, eh!" sabi pa nito at pinatunog ang dila.

"Ni sino?"

"Sino pa ba? Edi 'yong engkanto. Siya lang naman nakwento mo sa'kin nang nakaraan."

"Why do you still insist that? He's a person. We even hugged and held hands and- "

"What else did you do? Care to share?" he cut me off.

"We went to a dinner date," I replied after a brief silence.

"How boring. I thought you kissed," himutok nito na tila disappointed sa naging sagot ko.

Humagikgik ako. "We're going there, I guess," I joked. 

What the heck am I saying? Lumabas ba talaga 'yon sa bibig ko?

"Ang kupad namang engkantong 'yan. He should have kissed you already," dismayado niyang sabi.

"No!"

There's just no way we would kiss.

"Okay. Wala ka namang kawala dahil hahalikan ka pa rin naman sa araw ng kasal niyo."

Zam's right. It's going to be a quick kiss, so I don't really mind. I will allow an OBLIGATORY kiss to happen.

"Why do you sound so sure that I'm really getting married?" pagliliko ko ng topic.

"Because you said it yourself," he replied.

"But I could just be kidding around!"

"You won't joke about things like this, friend. I know you."

Napabuntong-hininga ako. "Oh. But don't you think it's too soon for us to get married?"

"Hoy! Totoo talaga? Akala ko talaga nagjo-joke ka lang. Sinakyan ko lang. Paano nangyaring umabot na kayo sa ganyang punto? My goodness!" hindi makapaniwalang wika nito. His voice slightly raised so I think it really surprised him.

I rolled my eyeballs. Is this conversation going anywhere? Paikot-ikot lang yata kami. Siya mismo ang nagsabi na hindi ko kayang magbiro sa ganoong topic tapos biglang binawi.

Napakwento tuloy ako. Siyempre 'yong mga piling mga detalye lamang.

"Just because you dated someone for a short period of time does not mean your marriage will fail. The length of the relationship does not matter, Tiff. It's not an indicator of a good relationship," sabi pa nito matapos akong paulanan ng tanong at advice.

"Well, you're right," tanging nasagot ko.

It's not like I need some advice from him for this marriage anyway. But it wouldn't hurt to listen to Zam. Ang lalim lang ng hugot niya.

"It's hard to know if you've got the 'one' for yourself. But when you know, you know," he added.

All I know is I don't know. But it doesn't matter.