Early November. 2016.

I was back in Vancouver but not for long. We had a game in two nights. After last nights game in Ottawa, I got on a flight and came straight into town wanting to make the most of the down time as I could. There was a lot to fit into two and a half days and I was going to be stretched thin, but I had to get it done.

The first stop was the build in Upper Lonsdale. The frame was up and I was putting the pressure on them to get as much of it finished before the snow fell, as they could. It wouldn't be long before the conditions made it impossible to work in.

Fuck, the house was going to be tall but I could see the deck wrapping around it, tree branches touching the railing and that was good enough for me.

Kins said, 'I want to be able to reach out and touch the tree branches' and I was damn well going to make sure she would.

The second stop was to see Ash before she started work. I hadn't seen her since her and Kins came to Edmonton and then she whisked my girlfriend off into the night without a word.

Well, it wasn't the night, it was the morning, and she didn't whisk her off but I still felt a pang of betrayal at the fact that she didn't at least stall Kins for a minute so that I could grovel some more. Not that it mattered now that Kins and I were on good terms again.

Better than good.

She'd agreed to go out with me tonight and I couldn't wait to see her. Fuck, I was practically skipping down the hall of Ash's building, on top of the world knowing it would be just a few short hours before I got to drink in my gorgeous girl's freckled face and watch her slow blink up at me like a seductress sent straight to put me down.

That woman could tell me to kneel and I'd break a knee cap dropping hard and fast.

I wrapped on the door at Ash's apartment and waited for an answer. Waited some more. Waited, waited, waited and then I smashed a fist against it again because I was sure she should still be home.

The chain on the door slid and then she pulled it open, pulling her hair into a bun. "Knock louder next time, you didn't leave a hole in the door."

"You weren't answering," I followed her inside and took note of the Halloween decor still hanging from the ceiling. "The cobwebs just look like neglectful cleaning now."

"Shut up," she said, pinning her little watch to the front of her scrubs. "You're late. I have to go to work in fifteen."

"What?" I slipped my phone out of my pocket and noted the time was ten to eleven. "You start at one?"

"Nope, I'm covering an extra hour this morning."

"Thanks for the heads up."

She rolled her eyes and slipped into her crocs, black ones with little sword jibbitz. I wondered if people were ever afraid to let her near their children. Not that she worked in paeds. She'd said from the beginning of her studies that she was cold, but not cold enough to deal with injured and sad children.

"You can drop me off at work, we'll catch up in the car. What's new?  Still in the NHL, still obsessed with the goldfish girl, still the object of puck bunnies desires? Yeah, all caught up."

"Don't call her a goldfish girl," I smacked her in the arm.

Ash laughed. "She thought it was great."

"You said that to her face?"

Her expression looked as if to say, duh.

I sighed, palming my jaw. Whatever, if Kinsley didn't care then I wasn't going to get all bothered over it. Ash and I walked down to the basement parking lot where I'd left my truck and climbed in.

"Where are you staying tonight?" She asked, pulling her belt on. "At the house with Kins?"

"Not unless she invites me back there," I said, reversing out of the space, watching the camera to make sure I didn't ding someone's bumper. This parking lot was a nightmare for longer vehicles. "I don't want to force things or make her uncomfortable so I got a room at the hotel with the rest of the team. Leighton is at his usual in Granville."

"Why would I care where Leighton is?"

I gave her a side on look as I went up the ramp and into the over cast morning light, clouds keeping out the sunshine. Next off season, I wanted to spend a few months somewhere tropical.

Perhaps Bali. Bora Bora. Somewhere Kins could relax in the sun, bikini on, the beach at our doorstep. What I wouldn't give to rub her down with sunblock on a private deck with the water below. She'd suit that environment.

"Shit," I mumbled at the defensive tone. "I don't know. You two are friends, sort of."

She said nothing, watching the road in front of us.

"You two are both acting weird."

"If I'm acting weird it's because you didn't bring me a coffee before you came over. What's that about? You never approach me unarmed."

"Yeah and I'll never make that mistake again," I mumbled, being sure to pull over at the first Starbucks we passed five minutes later. Despite the fact that Ash was on a time crunch to get to work, she didn't let that stop her from ordering the biggest iced latte available.

Apparently time stops when it comes to caffeine indulgence.

I dropped her off at the hospital parking lot and watched her until she was inside. She got herself to work without me every single day but I still couldn't leave until I'd seen her disappear just after lifting her hand in an over the shoulder wave. As if she knew I was still there without looking back at me.

It might've been a hunch, a big hunch, but I had a feeling something was going on with Leighton and Ash and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if I found out those two were rekindling whatever the fuck they started a couple of years ago. Whatever. I had more important things to do right now, including getting organised for the date tonight.

Kins and I had our first official date on the ice. I would never forget those strong legs pushing her around on skates, leg warmers hugging her calves, the ease at which she moved a puck around, snapping goals and shoulder checking me without hesitation. 

It was one of those defining moments for me, knowing that this bold, beautiful woman wasn't going to pull her punches. She'd let me see her for who she was and I admired all of it. Her trash talk, her athleticism, her humor.

I wanted to recreate that night, our first date. This time, it would look a little different, but I had a feeling she would love it nonetheless.

                        At eight O'clock, I knocked on the apartment door. Our apartment, but still, I wanted to respect Kinsley and her boundaries and allow her the chance to open the door and decide how we proceed. Whether we'd hug, or kiss or if she would grace me with a smile. I had no idea what would happen but I was aching to see her and I'd take whatever she gave me.

The door swung open and there she stood, this woman that I'd handed my heart to keep and never give back. Her hair was just passed her shoulders, soft curls, her freckles as kissable as ever, her little nose ring caught the light.

"Hi," she held the door, leaning against it as if the relief of seeing me again was knocking her over. "You didn't have to knock, you live here."

Looking her over, I admired her leggings, leg warmers and her pale pink hoodie bunched around her hips. Those hips. I was an absolute sucker for this woman and what a handful she is. In all senses of the word.

"I didn't want to barge in," I managed to say, even though I was transfixed on all the curves and dips of her figure. "You look beautiful."

She kicked her leg in a little pose and grinned. "You said to dress for skating so this seemed appropriate."

I wondered how she knew that was almost the exact outfit she'd worn last time we went. Just a coincidence I supposed. I carried her skates to the car and she grabbed her coat, gloves, hat and scarf. We weren't going to be indoors this time and I told her she'd need to be wrapped up well.

Down in the truck, she sat herself in her seat, looking right at home where she ought to be. As we drove, I felt tension coiling through my gut at the fact that I hadn't touched her. I wasn't going to push it, but it felt like resisting something as natural as breathing and I fought the urge to hold her hand.

Streetlights illuminated her profile as we passed under them and I stole glances at that nose I loved to kiss, the lips that had promised me a future when she agreed to marry me. So much had happened in our lives in such a short time, so much that no one could ever prepare for. Yet, here we were, still together, even if we'd changed gears a few times, we made it back to each other over and over again.

"You mind if I hold your hand?"

"As long as you give me occasional kisses on the top of it," she said, putting her palm face up on the centre console between us.

As soon as our fingers were interlocked, I lifted her hand and kissed it, still watching the road.

"Okay, now, you have to tell me where we're going because I was under the impression it was going to be the rink."

"You'll see baby."

Her head snapped toward me and her brow furrowed. It wasn't in anger or frustration, it looked like pure confusion. "What?"

"I just said you'll see baby." She seemed spooked for some reason. "You feeling alright? Was it because I called you baby?"

"No," she shook her head, a light laugh failing to hide her confusion. "Just deja vu or something."

"How's work going?" I asked, one hand on the wheel, taking a bend nice and slow because the last thing we needed on top of all we'd been through, was an accident. She was precious cargo and I would drive as such.

In my peripheral, I saw her straighten, looking over at me. "It's incredible. The three projects I started when I joined are coming together, my fourth and biggest project is the dream. It's an actual dream. Like, I'm designing this house with total creative freedom. The client loved my portfolio so much, they told me to just design as if it were my own home."

There was a decent amount of risk involved in this game I was playing, but I had faith that I could pull it off.

"The uh, the house in Upper Lonsdale?"

"Yeah," I heard her smile and so I looked over at her for a quick moment and drank it in. "The location, the house itself. I just. . . I'm so jealous, Phoenix. I'm going to cry when the client moves in and then I'm going to give him my number and tell him if he ever sells, I'll give him the top dollar for it."

Nodding, I sat there and pretended like I was absorbed in her story and wasn't in fact thrumming with excitement over the grand reveal that was still a good ten to eleven months from happening. A lot could happen in that time,  but I would never regret making sure Kins gets the house of her dreams.

Hearing her talk about her new job with so much passion made me grateful for the curve ball we'd been given. I didn't know if she'd have ever found herself in this job had it not been for the bump on her head. There was a certain level of comfort she sank into when it came to her position of Lachlan and Lore. She knew how to do that job, she was good at it, people relied on her and she'd built herself into that position. I understood her not wanting to let it go.

But having those connections, that position and loyalty wiped clean, made it easier for her to start again. Was it devastating that she didn't remember me? More than I had the words to explain. But would I change it if it meant that she got to start new in a job that made her so fucking ecstatic? Not a chance.

"Did Ash ever tell you that the receptionist at work is the one who slept with Jason?" She asked as we got further out of town, the street lights growing further apart, the thick forest growing on either side of the road.

"You told me that," I said, flicking the high beams on. Asphalt blurred in front of the headlights.

"Mmmm," she pursed her lips. "She's super nice. We have lunch together."

I didn't think much of it when I lifted her hand and kissed the back of it.

She let out a little breath. "I feel. . . bad about it. Like, I'm a traitor. Sadie doesn't know that we spend time together."

"I can see how that might feel like a problem. I mean, I don't think you shouldn't be friends with April. What happened wasn't her fault, she doesn't even know what happened."

Kinsley shifted in her seat. "I know but I feel like Sadie wouldn't give us her blessing to be friends."

"Do you and April hang out outside of work?"

"We haven't," she said, her thumb moving on my wrist. "We leave the building and go next door for lunch but that's about it. I feel rude though, she's so open with me and sweet and I constantly feel withdrawn, like I can't give her one hundred percent of my friendship because of this fucking Sadie burden."

My heart lurched at her vulnerability, fuck, I couldn't imagine the position she was in. It couldn't feel good.

"She even told me about Jason and I had to sit there and act surprised."

"Shit," I hissed, slightly shaking my head. "That would've been hard."

"It was. She said she was humiliated that she'd slept with her boss and told him it could never happen again," Kins tipped her head back against the head rest. "She felt humiliated and that's not even knowing the full extent of the situation."

Slowing down, I took a turn, getting even further out of town and flicking the high beams off as we passed another car. A car belonging to Leighton who had been out here doing the last minute arrangements I needed. Kins didn't notice his vehicle.

"I wonder if that was why he offered to fire her," I thought aloud. "Because she told him it couldn't happen again. He was butt hurt."

Kins scoffed. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"I think you should continue being friends with her," I said. "You don't have to bring her around Sadie but she sounds like a decent person, doesn't seem fair to alienate her if it doesn't impact Sadie's day to day life."

Just as I was used to, I slipped back into the role of mediator and I didn't mind at all. It was familiar, almost comforting to be talking about our lives just as we always had. Sharing things that were bothering us, problem solving.

"I have a feeling Leighton and Ash are having sex," I said and heard Kins gasp next to me. Nodding, I said, "I just have a hunch. Very little evidence, but a strong hunch."

"What is wrong with the people in our lives?" She teased. "Messes, all of them."

Looking over at her, I met her smile with one of my own.

                     We arrived at a small break in the trees a few minutes later. An old wooden fence bordered a frozen pond and Kins stared out of her window, fogging the glass as I parked the car. Leighton had done a good job.

The frail wooden fence was wrapped with lights, lanterns sat in the snow and little LED micro lights were scattered all over the pond, illuminating the ice. Kins lived for this sort of magic. Out in nature, enchanting and magical, her own fairytale. Tall pine trees surrounded the clearing, keeping it private, snow powdered the pine needles.

Reaching back, I collected our skates and we got out of the car, boots crunching through fresh fallen snow, iridescent lighting cast a glow on her freckled face. I wanted the arrangement of her freckles tattooed across my fucking heart.

"This is so. . ." Kins stared at it all, eyes wide while she searched for a word. "Beautiful. That doesn't even do it justice. I feel a million miles from the rest of the world right now."

"Our first date was on the ice," I said, taking her hand and walking her to the back of the truck. I pulled the lip of the truck bed down and picked her up, sitting her on the edge and ignoring the little gasp on her breath. "We played hockey and you gave me a run for my status in the NHL."

She laughed, nodding when I pointed at her boots, asking if I could slip them off. "I bet I did."

Her unfailing confidence ignited me. "You've got some good footwork babe."

I peered up as I slid her boot off and noted the coy smile and the way her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

Whenever she looked at me like that, all I could think about was getting down on one knee. It was a constant ache. I knew the wait would be worth it.

I finished putting both of her skates on and doing the laces up and then I held her under the arms and helped her down. Having her so close, chest to chest, even just for a moment made my heart stutter. She slid down the front of me and her face tipped up, her focus never leaving my lips as her gaze glassed over.

"Kins," I mumbled, still holding on. "Can I have a kiss?"

Her lips kicked up in a dazzled smile. "Meet me on the ice."

With that, she walked off, heading for the pond while I sat down and strapped my own skates on, heart pounding furiously because whenever it came to Kins, I couldn't control the constant jitters that she gave me, the nerves, the need. Starting over on her terms was exactly what we'd needed. She'd decided when to reach out, she'd decided the pace we took. She was in control and that was working. I had a feeling we'd see it through this time. 

Circling the truck, I saw her out on the ice, gliding around with effortless strides. The lighting, the snow, the trees towering our surroundings, it was as if watching something that could only be found in a dream. But this was real. She was real.

I met her on the ice and slid toward her so fast she didn't have time for a warning before I was wrapping her up, one hand on her lower back, the other wrapped around her small fingers. A burst of breathless giggles made a cloud of air between us as I started dancing with her, sweeping our feet across the ice.

She watched me, nothing but warmth in her stare. "I have a feeling you do this sort of thing a lot."

I wondered if she was thinking about our night in the treehouse, the night when she'd felt a little shy and vulnerable but she let me worship her figure regardless. "I do my best."

"You're very familiar with my idea of a beautiful date."

"I'm familiar with all of you."

Her cheeks tinged red.

"Look at that blush," I murmured, holding her tight and gliding backward.

"You're very confident," she said, her hand squeezing my bicep, her trust in me unfailing as I lead our little dance. "I like that in a man."

"There's few things I'm confident about," I said. "Hockey, how to navigate a room service menu and you."

She laughed. "Me?"

"You. Who you are, what you mean to me, how I can please you. Yes, please you, in whatever form that looks like."

Her nose touched my chest as she fell into me and huffed a laugh.

"It's easy to be confident when knowing you is the most important thing in the world to me," I said and she tipped her head back again.

"I think I'd like that kiss now."

There was no hesitation as I brought us both to a stop, our skates slicing through the ice and then I cupped her neck, leaned in and kissed her, soft at first, soft enough that she lifted on the tips of her blades, deepening the kiss. Her hand came to the back of my neck, her tongue met mine and I melted. 

Out there in the freezing cold, on the ice, I melted for this woman.