I'm so mad. My dad is so bad at covering his favorites up.
Awhile back, I wanted to go to Eric Nam's concert in Chicago. It was all worked out, my friend who's 18 and therefore a legal adult and can drive was gonna take me bc she likes him too.
But dad exploded when I asked him. He said I'll never go to a concert while I live under his roof. No one will. My little sister asked "What if it was in our city and free?" He yelled at her for even suggesting it. Told us to never think abt or dream abt going. When asked why, he said "I'm your dad. I don't need to say why."
BUT NOW.....
He's already thinking abt taking my little ELEVEN YEAR OLD BROTHER to a Manheim Steamroller concert for his birthday IN DECEMBER!! Yesterday we celebrated my bday(late but still) and he disregards me to plan for what he proclaimed prohibited in this household.
I bet I know why my little sister and I aren't allowed. It's bc our music is "stupid, annoying, worthless, repetitive, a waste of time, a distraction, gives people headaches after one second, etc etc etc"
It doesn't help that I'm the least favorite. The boys are the favorites and I'm the least bc I'm the girliest out of the girls. My dad's contracting business isn't for me. I'd love to learn how to do makeup, etc. I actually want a boyfriend. I love my dresses and heels. I finally have skirts I can wear daily too. Camping is only my thing if there's daily activities accompanying it (like when we went to Mackinac, we went somewhere different everyday). Aesthetics, flowers, cute cacti plants? Sign me up!  But that's so opposite to dad and even my sisters. So therefore I'm dad's least favorite. Mom just loves the littlest the most.
Point is, I'm mad bc apparently what he said was a lie. Only my little sister and I aren't even allowed to think abt going to a concert. When I was mad, my brother who they wanna take has this convo with me.
"it's different! It's a PREFORMANCE!"
"Um, it's a concert. That's what a concert is!"
"It's different!"
"How so?"
"They actually gave security!"
"So do they. *points to phone where UNB is playing*"
"Mannheim Steamroller is popular."
"They are too. Not as much as other groups, but they have plenty of fans and they're getting some recognition in Korea."
"Well....."
"Well what?"
"YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!"
"I understand perfectly. His ban of thinking abt concerts only exists for me and {insert little sister's name}"
"No!"
"No? Then what?"
"......forget it"
"That's what I thought."
Besides that, they mock me all the time. It's frustrating.
Even my little sister who likes kpop too! I heard her and my older sister talking abt me when they thought I wasn't listening. Laughing at how "she's crazy, obsessed, stalkerish, etc. But she says she's not."
I'm not. I read the stories Google recommends bc my little sister wants to hear. From now on, she can figure everything out herself. Without my help, she'd never know if her favorite groups have comebacks. Her only two albums are presents from me. No more from me. They're not cheap, so if she just wants to throw it back in my face, then fine. I won't bother. I'd rather get gifts for people who won't mock me for the same things later. I know she'll be mad at me later when she reads this, if she reads it, but oh well. If I truly love something, I throw myself heart and mind into it. Completely. My family thinks it's silly of me. No wonder my whole self isn't that much into the family anymore. They think I'm a horrible person. But then my brother mocked me and said I should start being selfish bc I was more concerned with getting gifts for my family and friends while I was in Japan than I was with getting myself things. I wanted to talk civially with some girls bullying my friend before anyone got drastic and my mom said I was too nice. So what is it? Am I evil or too good?
I should stop now. As much as I love you all, I know you just won't understand. No one does... That's why I throw myself in music and books. For the escape.