Chapter 11 ― Confession

After two gigs in Cardiff things are the same with Alex. She still avoids me, but she also looks at me differently. I can’t exactly explain how, but I just know it. Since she talked to Zayn she has changed, but she is not the same as before. I don’t know what they talked about, but they haven’t been close either.

Seriously, can someone tell me what’s going on here?

I try not to think about it and focus on rehearsing for the surprise we have for our last gig in Cardiff. We’re rehearsing a new song, trying to choreograph our movements on stage so no one will bump into the other and end up dying on stage. We have fun, messing around, dancing and shit. The girls are with us and they are having a blast, too.

Once we’re dismissed to go, I beg for food. I’ve said it before, I have a reputation to uphold and I love Nando’s. They literally treat me as if I were a king every time I visit one of their restaurants. Best service ever!

But before we leave, Alex shows us one of her bands. She likes to wear tops with some bands; I don’t know most of them so it’s great she is showing us different kinds of music. So far I’ve liked all what she has shown us. This time is Within Temptation and I’m very impressed. Gladly impressed.

After that, we leave to shower, so we can go and grab something to eat, but Alex stays behind to get her iPod back. On our way to the showers I decide this is my chance. She is never alone, she is always with Phebs and Belle, so if I go back now I may have an opportunity to ask her why she is still avoiding me. We can clear things up.

So I run back to the studio and I’m so surprised when I see her dancing. Not just dancing because the song is catchy, no, she is ballet dancing and she is amazing. She jumps and swirls with such a grace that it takes my breath away. She moves so swiftly, one movement part of the other. I’ve never seen ballerinas before, but I’m sure Alex is the best. I feel like that.

But she does something wrong because she falls to the floor. I gasp but it doesn't look like a bad fall and she doesn’t complain, she just sighs. I clap because even if she fell, that’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen.

Horrified, she looks up and meets my eyes in the mirror. “Did– did you see that?” She asks, blushed.

“Aye, I did. You’re great, Alex. Why didn’t you tell us you could dance?” I ask approaching her and sitting next to her.

“Because I don’t dance,” She replies and I can’t help it, I roll my eyes. “Not anymore, anyway. I used to dance.” Alex clarifies and that makes more sense.

“Why did you stop? You’re incredible. It was breath-taking seeing you before.” I can’t control it, I know I sound so enamoured.

“Puberty,” she replies. “I don’t have the body of a ballerina. Besides, do you know a ballerina who likes to eat as much as I do?” She points out and I can’t help it, I look at her from head to toe. I know ballerinas have to be like really skinny and almost curveless. Alex is not exactly skinny but she is not fat either. She is just normal and she has luscious curves that sometimes leave me thinking of how great it would feel to travel her body with my hands…

Focus, Niall!

“Now I know one,” I reply, trying to fight the smile that came to my mind after thinking that. “Seriously, you’re incredible.” I add because she is amazing. She may not be super skinny like a typical ballerina, but she is great. She has a natural grace that no one can deny. She is so great that I feel like everyone should know this, so my brain starts working really fast. “You should dance for us! You know, dance at the back in one of our songs!” I add, imagining how many doors it would open for her to become one of our background dancers. We don’t have any now, but we could if—

“Pardon me?” She asks shocked, cutting off my train of thoughts.

“Aye! Dance for us. That’d be amazing! I have to tell the lads and—” I blurt out but she cuts me off again.

“Oh no, you’re telling no one. I won’t dance for you. If you want a ballerina, you can hire a professional one. You can have Danielle! No,” Alex states, folding her arms and I know she has set her mind already, but I have to try.

“Oh, c’mon, Alex. You’re great and you’re here with us,” I insist because if she becomes our dancer that would mean she gets to spend more time with us. “Please, pretty please!” I hug her this time, begging like a kid. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close, her back against my chest and my chin on her shoulder, my lips in her ear when I add, “please?”

“No, Niall. I won’t dance for you and your band mates. And I definitely won’t dance in front of a massive crowd. No, thank you very much,” she replies after a deep breath.

“I’ll change your mind, then,” I defy and she snorts. What?

“It wouldn’t be the first time you say that but do nothing about it,” she mumbles, confusing me, so I tense up.

“What do you mean?” I ask her softly, trying to understand what’s going on here.

“Nothing. I mean nothing. Let’s go now, the guys are waiting for us,” Alex replies and tries to get up, but I don’t allow it. No, she has to explain me all this. “Niall, I need to go for my iPod.”

“No. Tell me what you meant by that,” I demand. I won’t let her go until she explains herself. I know this is important, this may be the reason why she’s been avoiding me. I need to know!

“Nothing, Niall. I meant nothing. Now please–”

“I’m not stupid, Alex. Tell me,” I blurt out, losing my temper a wee bit. I don’t like how she thinks she can lie in my face and I won’t notice it.

“I gotta go.” Again she tries to get up but I don’t let her. I won’t let her.

“Alex,” I beg, softly, coaxing her to tell me the truth.

“Fine! You wanna know? Fine!” She cries out, pushing me. “When you asked me out and I told you no, you said you were going to change my mind but you did nothing about it! You just behaved like a friend with no other intention. You didn’t even try!” Alex shouts and my body freezes. “Why? Uh? What made you change your mind about me?”

Just like a friend? All this time? But all I’ve done is to give her space and time because she said she wasn’t ready! I thought that’s what she wanted, but what? Did she want me to beg her every day to accept me until she would’ve said yes?

Wait a second…

She is mad because I actually didn’t ask her out again, because I didn’t show her I still wanna go out with her. And here I am, thinking I was being too bloody obvious and everyone knew. Well, I think everyone knows, everyone but Alex.

“Let me go,” she requests and I look at her so surprised, putting all the pieces together in my head.

“Alex,” I breathe out.

“No, you don’t need to answer. I was being stupid and I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry,” she says quickly and I shake my head. No, she can’t apologise for this… for in a way telling me about her feelings.

I take her chin, forcing her to meet my eyes before I say this. Her body moves in my arms until we’re face to face.

“I didn’t do anything ‘cos I thought you needed time. You had just broken up with your boyfriend and I didn’t want to push you,” I say softly, a little smile playing on my lips. I put our foreheads together as I feel my heart beating like crazy in my chest, happiness bubbling inside of me. “Nothing has changed my mind.”

“You… you…” she mumbles and I smile wider. She can be so cute.

“I still wanna go out with you, if you want to, of course,” I reply, feeling something warm inside of me spreading to the rest of my body.

Her own smile grows wider as she raises her hand to take my neck. “I’d love that.”

I swear my heart does an Olympic flip-flop in my chest. Golden medal for Nialler’s heart!

“Great!” I say biting my lip as I can’t stop staring at hers, wondering how they taste. I’ve dreamt so many times of kissing Alex and I know I could do it know, she wouldn’t stop me. “Where do you wanna go?” I ask instead, trying to stay focused.

“I dunno. I hardly know this place,” is her answer.

“It’s gonna be a surprise, then,” I tell her, my mind thinking of a good place to take her for our first date. This makes me so excited!

I start leaning forwards and she does the same. Here’s the moment when I kiss her, when I finally get to taste her lips… but I hear footsteps before someone else walks into the room.

“Why are you taking so lo– Oops! Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” Harry chirps; Alex and I pull back immediately and I feel my cheeks burning. “We were worried that you were taking so long,” he adds and I remember I didn’t even shower, I just came here looking for Alex.

Best decision of the week!

“It’s okay. We’re going,” Alex replies standing up and then helping me. Not that I need help, I’m a man; I just wanted to take her hand.

“Okay. I’ll leave you two alone, but hurry up! We’re hungry,” he replies and his smile is cheeky, which tells me he’ll go spreading gossips.

We can’t help it, we start laughing. Part of me is very annoyed he interrupted us, but another part just laughs at how horrid Harry’s timing can be. “We better go,” Alex says and I nod.

She goes for her iPod and boots. Have I mentioned I love how she looks in her combat boots? After that I take her hand and together we leave. I love this, I actually love that I can do this, take her hand and walk together.

God, I’m so happy right now!

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I bet you liked this chapter ;) Let me know on a comment. BTW, UW has officially 21 chapters so we have only 10 to go now.

Dedication to @amandaacaitlynn. Thank you so much for all those lovely compliments, I hope one day you can buy my books.

Bel, xx