We emerged from the Lahore tunnels looking unrecognizable. I was in a yellow scarf, and Zabdi, in his wisdom, wore a butt-length wig. I knew letting him into my wig collection was a bad idea, but I let him take what he wanted against my better judgment.

The photographers were everywhere in the city, looking for a photo of me in any compromising position.

Ilyaas just told me to wear a disguise and keep a tracker. He thought I was with one of the twenty-nine he actually approved of. He'd chew me out if he knew who I was with, yet again.

I was meant to shed the outfit when I was close enough to the station where the train awaited. The guards there needed to recognize me still, so I had to change when we got closer.

"Hold tight!" Zabdi grabbed my arms and wrapped them around his waist.

I hated the bike. I hated the bike. I hated the bike.

I didn't like the air whipping at my arms, or the sheer openness of it all, or the fact that I couldn't even balance on a bicycle, much less a motorcycle the age of my grandfather.

But the roads in this side of Pakistan weren't big enough for runners or cars. Carts of the most colorful things made it impossible. The local economy was booming, all the people looked either busy, pissed, or gloriously happy. But this also meant crowded streets.

Everyone just had to walk or go up a few feet in altitude to get where they wanted to go. But all my runners bore my emblem and I wanted to be under the cover of night. I didn't need anyone following us and seeing us play with fireballs.

The helmets were so stinky. We got them from a shady store beside a small road in the outskirts of the city, and we had to give them back. But I took a mental note to clean them before we did... Just a tiny favor for the shop owners.

"Are we there yet?" I asked, my eyes closed again his back. I hated the sound of the rattling engine. I felt like I was going to die any moment then.

The station was a little way's away from the Lahore, but we would get there soon with Zabdi's speed, which was a contradiction for my heart. I wanted solid ground, yes, but it was as if he was determined to crash us. "Almost."

He stopped two blocks from the station, the engine sputtering to a halt. There, behind the shadows of skyscraper, in an alley home to only rats, we changed our clothes. I shed the scarf and put on a loose white shirt.

Zabdi literally kissed his wig goodbye and donned a new jacket, stuffing all our clothes in a backpack. We changed our shoes as well and started walking the motorcycle down the small street. I wondered how long it would take until-

It took the only a few minutes before the flashes descended.

I kept my head down as the drones swarmed. Zabdi kept his eyes level. My heartbeat started racing as I saw the photographers start running to us from afar.

"THERE!" They shouted.

Don't run. I heard his voice in my head. It will get worse.

The photographers were now getting closer, the drones now mere feet from my head. My pulse quickened, with every intention to speed out of the corner they were starting to blockade us in.

The handout said not to run. His voice echoed in my cranium.

"Zabdi-" I tugged on his sleeve.

He saw the photographers running in the rearview mirror. They were already screaming profanities at him to get a reaction. Insults on his country, his father, his mother-

That hit a nerve.

"Well, fuck it."

In one fell swoop, he ditched the bike, threw both our helmets at the closest photographers, picked me up and ran.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!" I screamed, my hands around his neck, burying my face into his chest to keep from getting photos. I heard the helmets connect with some ribs and I knew we needed to pay hospital bills since I doubted those injuries were covered by imperial insurance.

"I HAVE STRONG SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS!" He screamed over the shouts.

"WE DIDN'T PAY FULL FOR THE BIKE!"

"THE DEPOSIT WILL COVER IT!!!"

"WE DIDN'T PAY THE DEPOSIT!"

I closed my eyes. I had to write a check now. No, a few checks.

"Your imperial majesty! EMPRESS LIZAVETA!" People were yelling out my name. I felt hands around the both of us, I felt Zabdi miss a step. I felt violated and torn but Zabdi kept on running. I looked up only once to see he wasn't even winded.

"Are we there yet?" I screamed a whisper into his ear. "We divide costs fifty-fifty, you got me?" The crown was spending a lot of money; the explosion, the coronation, the party, the tour, the tributes, the refugees...

"FINE!"

"Are we there yet?!"

"Oh, won't you just shut up-"

I pinched his arm.

"EMPRESS!"

The photos were going to be horrid.

"EMPRESS!"

I heard Zabdi laugh.

"EMPRESS!" I looked up then, feeling Zabdi slow down. It was the voice of the Guard.

They barricaded the entrance to the train station, the paparazzi halting only at the tips of their guns. I finally caught a breath as one side of me was completely cut off from the outside...

But in the other direction - Ilyaas.

"Close the gates." He said in a tone I never heard from him ever.

"Put me down." I whispered to Zabdi.

I didn't notice how steady his arms were around me until I felt my sea legs takeover when he let me go.

He put his arm across my body and stood a leg in front of me as Ilyaas came closer. "It's not her fault. I asked to go outside." Zabdi defended in a lie.

"You weren't supposed to run."

"They were harassing her."

"You were supposed to follow protocol-"

I looked at both of them, screaming at each other so silently and I lost it.

"STOP SPEAKING AS IF I'M NOT HERE!"

They both shut up. I blinked. I didn't think that would work. Then, not knowing what to do next, I stormed into the train, the heat on my nape rising.

Well can we speak now since you're actually gone? Zabdi's playful tone asked.

I flipped him off without looking at him, but I smiled to myself when I heard him guffaw in the distance as the train doors closed behind me.

×+×

I waited for Ilyaas to storm into dinner after the fiasco I caused outside the station. He would be mad, then he would show concern, then he would make it up to me. Then I would apologize. It was routine by now.

But he was late.

I would have told him how good it was for me to do what I just did to distract from the Saud's people's hostility towards the refugees. I would have told him it would strengthen Islander rations... But he was late.

Just as I started to panic, he finally got to dinner.

It took him a while, but he eventually sat down and ate with me. He looked disheveled, tired... He looked worse than me.

I knew he wouldn't have been able to contain his emotions much longer, but I tried enjoying the adrenaline's ghost. That was probably the best time I had running from paparazzi ever. I kind of resented myself for seeking that thrill, knowing it could be deadly, but I ignored that responsible part of me a little.

Understanding the mood he was in, I signaled the waiters to leave. And just as the door closed us in, he spoke.

"Natasha is pregnant." Ilyaas said, shocking me with his directness, the lightness I felt moments ago was gone. "I wanted to tell you, but you were unconscious and then you had no time for anyone but that damned-"

"She's a mole too." I said, calmly, connecting the dots. "She works for Theo Velez."

That's why Theo knew. That's why she went to his room. It didn't make sense before, but it did now.

Families weren't allowed in the League. They had to be loyal to me and only me. She would have lost her job if I found out... Then she wouldn't have the protection we granted her. I had no idea how many enemies she had in the continent and otherwise - enemies she made on my behalf- but without her job she would be exposed.

That's why she betrayed me.

"So, we have to eliminate her." He sighed. I expected to see pain in his eyes, but they remained calculating, unconcerned, like he was above it all. It unnerved me. He only ever went into this state when things concerned my safety.

"We can't do that." It stunned me how calmly he said it; the murder of a mother and child.

"We have to." Ly's amber eyes were determined.

"Raza's the father. We still need him."

The shock went in and out of his features quickly enough. "He'll know where my brother is so he can take the throne and he'll find who killed Upapa." I said, spooning soup into my mouth, trying to keep my hand steady despite the fear replacing my euphoria. "We still need him, so we can't touch her."

"You're still looking for-?" He sighed, biting his bottom lip in frustration. "And Theo?"

"Whatever he'll know, he'll threaten me first before going public, so he isn't a liability." Theo thought he was smarter than me. I let the men in my life believe what they wanted to believe.

Ilyaas nodded, agreeing.

And then silence ensued for the next thirty minutes. I played with my food, just lengthening the time we were together. I knew if I stopped, he would stop, and... Why wasn't he yelling?

"We should ride bikes more often, you should teach me-" I tried changing the mood.

"What about the others?" He asked pointedly, stopping his eating. He dropped his napkin at the side of his plate and looked at me pointedly, as if I was guilty of a sin.

Ly had no intention of dropping the incident despite his revelations and mine. He knew now not to nag me about sneaking out, but he successfully found another topic to hit me with. "There are twenty-nine of the most eligible-"

"They have the rest of the continent's tour." I said coolly.

"When will you leave him?" The days between me and New India were long and spent mostly only with Zabdiel. Ly noticed, of course, and tried to say nothing until he could no longer hold it in. "He didn't even win the race you set. He wasn't even in the running!"

"We're on the same train, Ly." I said, stabbing the shrimp on my plate. Why was this bothering him so much? "I can't leave him as much as he can't leave me."

"He's not right for you. His father is a dictator, he didn't grow up in a good household, he's only clean as far as criminal records go, his proximity to you is a threat to the empire, and you're smart enough to know that." He said, in his face a frustration I rarely saw. "You know who's the better choice. You're smart enough to know what's the better choice and yet you-"

"I'm smart enough to know you were perfect for me, but oh what we know can only go so far." I regretted saying it the moment it left my lips.

He dropped his fork. The sound echoed in the small chamber of the dining room. I knew I hit a nerve.

"That was a low blow." Ly whispered to himself. "Don't talk to me like that."

I stayed silent, heat rising at my nape again, getting ready for a fight.

He stood from his seat, the legs scraping over the mahogany floors when I said. "Why did you kiss me?" I couldn't help myself. It was like a scab I picked on in my head day by day. I finally decided to rip it off.

"What-"

"You kissed me. You told me you loved me. You said you would kill and die for me." I squinted at his face, his eyes looking away. It had been gnawing at me for days and it finally came out. "But you won't marry me... And yet you assume you have an opinion on who I choose to replace you with."

"I will never marry you-" Ilyaas's voice sounded like a sharpened katana through my chest. He knew, I knew, that he wanted to hurt me.

"You would go to war for me."

"Yes." He meant it.

"You would die for me."

"Yes." I knew he would.

"You would kill for me?" His eyes met mine in a second that felt like centuries.

"I would burn the world down for you if you asked." He softened; his voice so gentle I could almost not hear him promise me genocide.

"But you won't marry me..." I said, leaning back in my seat. "As if marrying me would compromise your soul so much more than killing for me." I rolled my eyes. "Like loving me is a mortal sin."

He gasped, his eyes turning dark, understanding my pain from what he just did. I forgave him, yes, but I didn't forget the pain he caused. His audacity was insurmountable... He thought his choice was better for me than my own.

As much as he said I was his empress, he was treating me like an underling. Maybe that's still how he saw me: a fragile, glass, doll, the powerless girl he saved from a wreckage.

I didn't know how he could hurt me more than all my other problems. I didn't realize how much power I'd given him over me.

"Lesya-"

"You only have two choices in the matter of my marriage and none of them is the choice of who I marry... unless you choose it's you." I bit my tongue.

With all appetite lost, I walked out before he could and slammed the door shut.