"No."

Ly wouldn't meet my eyes. He was still crouched down on one knee, looking at the wood-paneled floor. Even Jazzy was silent. "King Solomon, the second, was flying over North Africa when his vehicle, the King George was hit by an unmanned drone. The North African rebels, who call themselves the White Ravens have claimed responsibility."

2:34 PM. I should have died two minutes ago and left the throne empty.

I was still not processing it. My hands were cold. The blanket was itchy. Ly was not looking at me. My tank top was wet from melted ice. My mind was a mush of scattered thoughts. Tears were still in my eyes, making everything blurry- I never cry. No. No. No. No. Not today. I blinked them away, but they rolled down my cheeks.

There was a kaleidoscope of tragedies playing out in my head.

I felt time cut itself in two.

Changes are usually painless. They take ages to come to fruition, and by the time they're done, you don't realize how much the things you knew so well have become no longer what they were. But after he said what he said I saw my life break. I felt the fear creep in, colder than the snow now, preserving the old me like a corpse.

I wish I was a corpse.

But Ly just kept talking.

My thoughts for once stopped attacking each other... for once, they were silent, as if in their terrified stupor, they simply left my mind.

"-heading for Eurasia after a brief visit regarding classified matters, the King, his betrothed consort, two pilots, and the King's senior advisers were dead upon impact." His voice faded in and out of earshot, like he was at the end of the tunnel, and I was buried under concrete in the tunnel somewhere... I don't know.

Two parts. Broken.

My grandfather was dead. I am his only heir.

I tried opening my mouth, but nothing came out.

"We are under Protocol X, continuance of government. Nobody knew where you were. You're good at erasing your tracks. You, however, are not good at erasing Jazzy's. I found her transponder active, and you already brought me here once, so I figured..."

I found myself staring at the fire, yearning for warmth, hoping Ly was just making an awful joke.

"Lesya..." A hand came to touch mine. "I figured you would want to hear the news from me rather than some rattled prime minister "

I didn't respond. I tried to but I couldn't. Mouth was shut, dry, like his hand- calloused and rough.

He slapped me.

"ILYAAS!" I yelled as pain bloomed in my cheek.

"Good, you're conscious. You can run... or if you've changed your mind, we can go back before they figure out, you're not missing. They can take over the whole continent and... you can run, and I can cover. I don't know how long an empire will last without a sovereign..." He sighed, holding my hands. "But I think you should give it a try, you owe Eurasia that at least... and I mean, you don't have to run away anymore. "

Ly always talked too much when he panicked. Despite his size, he was only twenty years old, he was just a boy underneath all that. I knew he was glad my grandfather was dead. I would have been too if it didn't mean my life sentence as a prisoner of his throne.

"Ly." A tear slid down my cheek. I was remembering all the fantasies of living beyond the mercury walls. I used to be ready for this sacrifice... but that was when I didn't know how much I was missing, before I realized there was a world.

He sat next to me, larger than I was, stronger than I was, and yet just as fragile.

He knew me too well. Ly was the only person I talked about my departure; the only one I told that I had no plans of coming back for anything except him. He understood why I needed to go.

And I understood why I couldn't.

"He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore." I couldn't look at him. His eyes would break me with their pity.

I was so close.

"I can't believe it." I said with a sigh. I couldn't believe he was dead; I couldn't believe that I once believed his death would set me free.

Now that crown felt like a noose, and I couldn't fathom how I once thought that maybe I had a choice.

He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me, as he should... as he always did. I knew he wanted me to cry then and there, to sob uncontrollably and scream. But I did nothing. The tears came in small drops, the breaths, deep and shaking.

There was no anger in my despair, only a quiet disbelief that somehow, just when I thought I was free, the shackles tightened.

There was this sense of inevitability, a sense of hopelessness. I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

I thought that there was a looming choice I had to make ever present on the horizon... far from me. But now the horizon has met me, and I knew that the road I had started taking was a dead end.

His death did not set me free... it made the choice for me.

Ly's shallow breaths and sniffles showed me how he felt. There was as much sadness as there was relief. He wanted me to stay.

"You're the sole heir. You're queen now. No one can hurt you."

He was wrong.

×+×

I blacked out for a few moments, and in a few more, I was in the sky.

I'm going to be queen.

The queen. There hasn't been a queen since the establishment of the continent. Consorts have been present each generation, but only to a king. Not a queen. I'm the queen.

I'd been used to watching the world burn itself down without me. Politicians at each other's throats, the warring states of Africa down below, even the power struggle between the Islanders and Australia were common nuisances.

I tried doing my part. I tried siphoning my yearly salary to help the ones my country forgot, to pay for their conscriptions, their medicine, their homes. It was never enough, but I had hope.

And once... maybe once I thought that things would change, but optimism begets disappointment.

Stars surrounded us both, in what should have been the afternoon sky. We were in his much larger vehicle, third tier runner that flew in the mesosphere. I left my runner under the snow.

Royals usually travelled just a layer beneath outer space to ensure safety from attacks since vehicles with pressure stabilization like the King George were extremely hard to make or buy... But my grandfather, my Upapa still got shot down.

Gold can pull the trigger, but gold can't stop a bullet.

And so, I kept my eyes peeled for any drone kind enough to shoot me. There were none.

Upapa always used to say that I would never sit on the throne. He said it as a threat. I heard it as a blessing. Once every person I loved died or disappeared, I was left with only my grandfather's bellowing voice in my head. And then it was a childhood of echoing halls. All the voices were my own.

I used to want to be queen as a little girl, but after Abbu and Kaz died, the throne seemed to me like a curse to all the good men in my life. The only reason Upapa lasted so long was because he wasn't a good man.

He was the type of man who threatened little girls and whipped their backs and sang them sweet nightmares in their sleep. I thought the bad tares didn't get cut down until the wheat was, but how come the tares lived longer?

Not long enough.

How the hell did this happen?

"Lesya, are you awake?" He asked from the pilot's chair. I realized I was reclined behind him and Jaz sleeping behind me, crammed in her own chair.

"I am." I wish I wasn't.

"They've told me to land you in-house, they need you to appear before the army in an hour. Then you need to go to parliament for preparations and discussions about your coronation and marriage."

Marriage. Right.

They need an heir now. I was the only surviving member of the senior royals. "I'll speak to the army heads today. I will wait for my grandfather's body and bury him before I meet the entire parliament. I will discuss the coronation and marriage only with three members of parliament and my mother and uncle if you can track them down. Right now, I need to meet with the prime minister and a representative from each party." The orders came out rushed as if my lips knew what to say before my brain thought of the words. I sounded like my grandfather. I cringed.

"They already have a schedule-"

"I'm queen." That left a bitter taste in my mouth.

"Which three members?" He looked back at me, concern clouding his face.

"Prime minister, and you choose who's best."

Not long after, we descended into the city space and five vehicles surrounded us. Then another five, then another until eventually, we were caged in. Sleek, white, manned runners caged ours and covered us from all sides, protecting me while making me feel like a prisoner.

"King's Guard?" I whispered. The most elite force in Eurasia with six million fighters. Much smaller than the entirety of the military, but much deadlier.

"Queen's Guard." Ly replied.

This was actually happening. Was I supposed to be happy? My grandfather just died. Was I supposed to be sad? But he was assassinated. Mad? Mad at who?

I looked down through the see-through floor of his runner and saw that the flags started to be inverted on every pole. It was supposed to be a violet compass on a golden field, but the colors changed places now- to signify the death of a monarch, and the birth of the next.

My stomach did one of those flips as we did the landing maneuver. Below me, the capital City of Lesya spread in all directions like a snowflake.

In the middle was what looked like a drop of mercury- the House- my house. The city was beautiful as always. Buildings that moved like sunflowers with glass that absorbed the sun's rays, pyramids made of limestone topped with gold at each cardinal direction, surrounded by colorful gardens reminiscent of the fauna of each corner of the continent, vehicles running through multiple levels of the city, people in their loose cotton clothes enjoying the summer on roads, rooftops and pools, some already donning the coats prepared for the night.

They all looked up at us, and with that sight, the city seemed to dim. Whatever part of the truth they knew, my arrival confirmed their fears.

The dome that surrounded the House gave way to the small fleet, opening from the middle to let us land. The closer I got to the ground, the more I realized I should have run.

The House was a magnificent structure of balconies and white pillars, in the midst of a glass and metal city.

It was unlike the palaces pre-ascent. It was graceful in all its curves and edges, but unlike those which spread out on expansive lawns, the house grew upward. It was like a marble skyscraper, covered in a shimmering anti-nuke dome, that we pierced as we settled down.

The day I left, they had white jasmines blossoming on each railing as my grandfather loved the scent, but now they lay bare. Soon they would have green carnations in my honor.

At my arrival, two purple and gold flags flew and fell over the House's walls to welcome me home. This was not home.

"Ly." I said in a breath. It was too real now.

He looked at me, his eyes reflected the fear in mine. He unbuckled himself moments before the vehicle locked down on the ground. Above us, the mercury-like dome healed itself, making sure the House was indestructible again. Ly reached for the panel to open the vehicle, but my hand stopped him. "I can't wear this." I tried shrugging off the coat. "It's violet... gold."

He sighed. "What? It's your house color, of course you can."

"No, Upapa didn't let me." He used to scream at me to never touch his robes.

"It's the color of the monarch." He was exasperated.

"But he-"

"Is gone." Ly knew why the colors got to me so much. Even when I served in the military, I wasn't allowed to wear them. The two years of service had me wrapped in red and silver amidst a sea of violet fighters. "You're the monarch. That's your color."

Tear started welling up in my eyes again. All those years in fear of his heavy hands and whips, it never occurred to me to fear his crown.

"Don't cry." His hands cupped my face so gently, I almost cried more. I never cried. What was wrong with me? "Look up-" I did and saw thousands of drones converging over the dome. "They're there for you. Mainstream, and social media want a breakdown. When you step out, you will be defining your reign. Do not let them see you break- that is not an option. Not today."

I nodded. It seemed like I didn't really have any of the options I once would bleed to have. My teeth clenched as I formed my features into a wall of emotionlessness. The world shall not have my fear. I took a deep breath. No one needed a cowardly queen in the midst of a national attack.

His hand reached out to open my door. "We'll cry later. In private" He whispered.

I didn't want to anymore.

When the door opened, the warmth of the palace shocked me from far away, seeping into the yard. Ly's parka started becoming a pest, but I kept it on. There was only a tank top underneath, and I didn't want the press to see that either.

I waited for him to walk off before me, but he waited. "What?"

"You have to walk in front of me. I'm only allowed two feet behind you."

"Right." Protocol. I needed to get rid of that as soon as possible.

I stood up and out of the vehicle on to the courtyard of the House. My hand gestured to Jazzy, and she stood beside me. Once my feet touched the ground, a small team of people came rushing to me to cover all my sides. Jazzy snarled at some of them, but she didn't attack.

Lips pursed, eyes level, breathing calm- the facade I have decided to show the world since I was a child. It came in handier than I thought.

They wanted a wreck; I gave them a fortress.

A few days ago, these people would not have given me the time of day. Everyone outside the mercury-like shield, except those who served in the military, thought my grandfather loved me, and that was why they treated me kindly.

Everyone inside the shield knew better, and they treated me worse. Now they stood and walked beside me as if they'd always been there. They stood proudly as if they killed my grandfather for me and that they were my best friends for giving me the throne. God.

I diverted my attention elsewhere or I would have started screaming.

The click click click of cameras above me sounded like rain, and the flashing looked like lightning. It was all I could do not to look up. The doors were only a few feet before me. Step by step I felt the crevice between yesterday and today widen. Not long now, I won't be able to jump back.

There, at the threshold were ten of my grandfather's minor advisers of the privy council and twenty assistants- their rank saved them from death with the king.

As my foot stepped into the House, they bowed. "Your majesty."

I nodded. I honestly didn't know how to respond.

Then they were all still waiting for commands.

I felt Ly stand behind me. I didn't know politics, but I knew what I needed to do for now.

I inhaled, thinking of everything I should do before saying "Close the doors, lock down the House, close the borders, the flags must all be inverted for him. Security at all the landmarks, secure the whole continent- shields up." Ten assistants scrambled into action, leaving the remaining ones in the foyer with their tablets and comms.

"I will be staying at the bunker with the prime minister and two other representatives of parliament for planning since this is Protocol X. Secure the families of all the members of parliament, no exception." Five more left in haste, screaming names into their comms.

"The ones loyal to me must be safe. Alert the citizens via all broadcasting networks, make sure Beijing, Moscow, Almaty, New Delhi, London, Riyadh, Rome, Lisbon and Stockholm know that I'm alive and well... and lastly, inform my immediate family." The rest left me with the ten minor advisors of the council.

"Will you address the military now?" One of them asked.

I noticed that they were young, almost just as old as I was. They were apprentices, picked from the best schools of the empire. I bet they were just as terrified as I was. "Hello."

They all nodded their heads in salute.

"You're ten out of twelve of the Privy Council. I'll look for two more." I smiled at them in assurance, a smile I wish someone would give me right about now. My hands couldn't help themselves as they rubbed against each other.

I felt their fear deflate a little, seeping into me.

"Only the minister of defense in the bunker when the people I called for arrive." I guess I thought of that before speaking.

"Will you address the citizens?"

"Yes, after the military in the lower broadcast rooms." No fear. Just certainty. Fake it.

"Is there anything else we can attend to?"

Yes. The matter they didn't talk about. The one their faces tried to hide when they saw me, the one they probably were still denying. "I will bury my grandfather today. No press, just family. He's Muslim, it's custom."

I started walking away with the guards towards the secured elevator to access the bunker. Saying it out loud made me feel like crumpling.

They suddenly went silent. "What?" I asked.

"Your majesty... to bury him, you would need a body."

I turned to look at them, my chest filling with dread and... was that pity? "He burned? On his way down?" I said through clenched teeth. Of course, he would have burned like a meteor.

The woman adviser nodded, with watering eyes. The man shifted from one foot to the other. "We reviewed footage from the vehicle, your majesty. They were... dismembered on impact, and from the King's Satellite we saw the damage. Nothing reached the biosphere intact."

I sighed. A king one day, dust the next. A certain optimism came over me and I was made calm by the thought that maybe I would be next. "Has this happened before? What do I do?"

"Your majesty, he's the first one to die of assassination, and the first with no retrievable body. We don't have protocol for this." The woman whispered to me in panting breaths. The man whispered something in her ear. "We have some of his hair, your majesty. It's custom to retrieve as much as is retrievable... it's the only thing we have of him."

Dust. "I'll bury him." I nodded. "Today."

They bowed.

Before I left, I felt like I had to say something. Something that would ease their discomfort, something that might make them like me or at least respect me in the real sense, not in the sense of my rank, not out of fear.

I needed them to like me, to guide me, to be my foundation. But all that came out of my mouth was "Congratulations on the promotion." And "Dismissed."