Walking into my bedroom, I find Zach laying on my bed flicking through the copy of Catching Fire. He'd arrived before I'd left for breakfast and I didn't see the point in sending him away only to come back again. The less climbing he does in and out of my window, the less chance there is of someone seeing him.

'Good breakfast?' He grins.

'Plain porridge as usual.'

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I place my crutches on the floor and stretch out my cramping fingers and arms. I don't mention my parents were in a happier mood due to the most recent gossip. Considering Naturalists don't talk to their neighbours much news spreads really quickly. Everyone knows the Techie boy didn't walk me home yesterday. Everyone thinks whatever this is, is over.

They're wrong.

'Same for us.' Zach sits up and closes the book in his hand. 'How are you finding the books?'

'They were brilliant.'

'You finished them already?' He asks in disbelief. I nod which makes him grin and he says, 'we'll have to watch the movies together sometime.' Zach places the book on my bedside table and frowns. 'Are you sure it's safe for me to be here?'

'My parents are working until lunch so we have a few hours until they come home.' I shrug, trying to seem relaxed.

Zach stands, walks over to my chest of drawers and picks up a small wooden box. It's my most recent piece. The one I made when we had a few days off after the Drifter attack. 'What is this?'

'A box.'

Zach rolls his eyes. 'I can see it's a box. Does it open?'

'You have to hold it a certain way to open it.' I hold out my hands and he gives it to me. Placing my thumb and index finger on either side of the box, I press against the specific strip of wood and pull it so the compartment slides out.

'That's pretty cool. Did you make it?'

'Yes. Me and my brother made one years ago and I recreated it when we had those days off after the Drifter attack.' I shrug and hold the box towards him. 'You can have it if you want?'

'Seriously?'

'You probably have more things to hide than me.'

Zach chuckles, taking the box from my hands and places it in his bag. 'I have more things in general. When you left for breakfast I was hoping to find something interesting, and all I got was a box I couldn't work out how to open.'

'Sorry to disappoint you.'

'You never disappoint me.' Zach smirks, sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.

We're not touching but the close proximity of his body has me on edge whilst the familiar hum of anticipation starts. I'm longing to touch him again, skin on skin, mouth on mouth. I haven't got the courage to make the first move. Doubts start to creep in about what we're doing, about what future we have.

'Will someone not be looking for you this morning?' I ask.

'Yesterday was my last day at school so I'm free until I start work on Monday.'

'Are you looking forward to starting?'

'Yeah,' Zach says unenthusiastically.

'You sound it,' I respond sarcastically. 'I thought you wanted to do programming?'

'I did. I do.' Zach's shoulders sag, and he looks down at his hands which rest in between his legs. I slip my hand into his and he looks at me, unable to hide the hint of surprise as his hand closes around mine.

Even I'm surprised at my actions. I've initiated contact twice in the last twenty-four hours. I'm a changed woman.

Zach looks at our intertwined hands. 'Since we crossed the wall, I can't stop thinking about how there must be more out there such as other settlements. I've asked to join the expedition team. I'm waiting to see if my request will be approved.'

'Do you think it will?'

'Maybe. I don't know. My mum wasn't very happy when I told her I want to change to expedition detail. She's adamant there are no more settlements left. According to her, it's only us and the odd group of Drifters and even they're becoming scarce.'

'Well, hopefully, you'll get onto the expedition detail, and then you can find out for yourself.' I squeeze his hand. 'You know when my parents finally agreed to let me go into the woods I was so happy. I thought if I had time away from the settlement it would make my life here more bearable but I can't help think it's made it more difficult, that now I'm going to be even more unhappier being stuck here.'

'I'm glad to know I've shown you such a good time you can't find any enjoyment in your usual activities, Kit.' Zach smirks.

'You wish.' I pull my hand out of his and slump backwards on my bed, so I'm staring up at the wooden ceiling. I don't know why I thought I could actually have a serious conversation with him. He's still an idiot, a handsome one, but still an idiot.

Zach lays on his side and angles his body towards mine. 'It's good to know I've had such an effect on you.'

'The only effect you've had is on my blood pressure because you're so infuriating.' I push his shoulder but Zach grabs my hand, tugs me towards him as he rolls onto his back so I land on top of him. My entire chest is pressed against his, and I take a sharp breath at the closeness.

'Honestly, life probably would be simpler if we'd never gone into the woods, if we'd never met, but I wouldn't give up meeting you.' Zach looks at me earnestly. 'I don't know what's going to happen in the future but nothing would make me want to give up our time together.'

I search his face for a sign of this being joke, his form of amusement or strange sarcasm. All I see is sincerity and maybe a hint of embarrassment at his words. I think of several responses; all of them seem too frivolous or full of expectation so instead I decide to respond in a way which will tell him he's special to me. I press my lips against his and kiss him.

Kissing Zach is my new escape. It's the best type of escape.

The knowledge we haven't got long overwhelms me. I'm desperate to memorise the feel of his lips, the heat of his body against mine, the texture of his skin. I run my fingers up his arm, and Zach deepens the kiss while cupping my face. My entire body thrums nervously, and I hesitate causing Zach to stop.

I don't want him to stop.

Boldly, I wrap my hand around his neck pulling him closer and my lips part. His tongue moves against mine and his fingers glide down my neck then down to my waist where he holds me tightly, as though he's worried I'll disappear.

We continue to kiss, our bodies pressed together, no space between us. We're fully connected. An intense mix of sensations build-up inside me. My body is on overloaded causing my chest to constrict.

Zach stops mid kiss and loosens his grip. 'Are you ok, Kit?'

I sit up and take several deep breaths. 'I'm fine.'

Zach sits up and frowns. 'No, you're not.'

'It's...' I search for the correct word. Overwhelming? Scary? Nerve-racking? Embarrassing?

'Let's take things slow. I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do.'

'I do want to. This is just new and different and...I'm sorry.'

'You have nothing to be sorry for.' He dips his head so our faces are aligned. 'The slower we take it, the more time I get to enjoy with you. I don't want you to get bored of me too quickly.'

'Because that's how this is going to end? Me getting bored of you,' I say sarcastically.

'It's exactly how this is going to end. You'll get your fix and leave me heartbroken and pining after you. I'll listen to Alt-J on repeat while crying over your photo.'

'You don't have a photo of me.'

'I need to take one in preparation. By the way, I'll never recover. For the rest of my life, everyone will point and stare at me saying things like 'He used to be such a fun guy before his heart was ripped out by a beautiful Naturalist girl.'' Zach places a hand on his chest as though he's protecting his heart.

'Idiot.' I nudge his shoulder, unable to stop the smile spreading across my face.

'Your idiot.' Zach grins. Wrapping his arms around me, he collapses backwards onto my bed, pulling me down with him.

I laugh and awkwardly rest my head on his chest. It rises and falls underneath me steadily, the rhythm is soothing but I can't get comfortable. The way we're entangled in each other is overly intimate, my muscles strain and tense involuntarily.

'You really need to learn how to relax,' Zach chuckles.

I consciously soften every muscle, but I can't prevent myself from flinching every time he moves. A lifetime of restraint is hard to combat whereas Zach is completely at ease as his fingers absently trace random patterns along my arm. I bet he's done this a lot. I bet none of the other girls he's done this with had problems relaxing.

Is it anti-feminist to hate girls I've never met? Do I care? Not right now.

'How many girls have you done this with?' I ask quietly. Turns out, I do care right now.

'Define this.'

I exhale slowly. 'How many girls have you kissed?'

'Depends what type of kiss we're talking about.'

'Like how we kiss.' I squirm.

'One.'

'Oh, ok.' I think of the girl from yesterday. Was it her? An unfamiliar sensation curls inside, and my body tenses slightly.

'And when I say one, I mean one in total,' he says softly, kissing my forehead.

I gaze up at him shocked. He's lying. He has to be.

'What's that face for?' He arches his eyebrow.

'I just thought...' I shrug. What did I think? I assumed he'd kissed lots of girls. I assumed he was a human petri dish of Techie girl's saliva.

Zach laughs. 'We don't all fit into your preconceived ideas of Techies. I've given the odd girl a kiss but it's never been how we kiss.' Zach brushes his lips against mine. 'By the way, you're cute when you're jealous.'

'I was not jealous.' I push away from him and start to sit up.

'Sure you weren't.' Zach pulls me back.

I resist against him, battling between the oddness and the enjoyment of being this close to him. Eventually, I give in. Allowing myself to be pulled back, I rest my head into the crook of his arm.

Zach adds, 'anyway, if anyone should be jealous it's me. The last time I saw you with a boy, I had to drag him off you.'

'Don't remind me.' I exhale loudly. The thought of Axel's actions still reignites my rage. No one knows what he attempted to do. Everyone is still convinced he's an innocent sweet boy.

'He's not causing you any problems is he?'

'No.'

I've been keeping my distance, trying to forget he exists but everyone else seems intent on bringing him up. My family and friends all think we belong together. What would my parents and Mattan say if they knew what he tried to do? Would they blame me?

'Do you think it's my fault?' I ask.

'Is what your fault?'

'What happened in the woods with Axel. Did I bring it on myself? If I hadn't been alone he wouldn't have had the opportunity to try anything,' I mumble.

'You're entitled to be alone without having to worry about some delusional creep forcing himself on you. You told him to stop and he didn't. All the blame lies with him, don't you dare try to take any responsibility for something that was definitely all his fault.' Zach squeezes me tightly.

If I'd never met Zach would I have settled with Axel? Would this side of him have come out later or would he have been able to hide it from me? What other secret personality traits is everyone hiding? What has Mattan and Mara found out about each other now they've settled? What will Suki and Seb or Axel and Brielle discover in the future? How many unfavourable attributes are people able to avoid exposing before they settle? Ones which only surface when the commitment has been made and it's too late?

The bell chimes to indicate the hour. I think of my parents working. Dab in the kitchen and Daa in the fields. What would they do if they found Zach here? My first instinct tells me they would try to protect me, but I know they would be disappointed which is something I'd find difficult to live with.

'Does your mum not worry where you are?' I ask.

'I doubt it. She barely notices I'm not there, and on the rare occasions she does, she simply assumes I'm hanging out at a friend's place,' he says bitterly.

It's strange. He makes the sort of freedom I crave sound bad.

'Do you get along?'

'She's not around enough for me to know. I have to say, I wouldn't have any problems leaving my settlement if I got the chance,' Zach says.

My insides twist at his comment wondering if it's a sly dig or a factual remark.

'Unless it was here. Naturalists are a bit too backward for me to get used to,' Zach adds.

'Excuse me, I'm a Naturalist!' I poke Zach in the chest in mock offence.

'I'm not so sure. Naturalists are meant to be opposed to physical contact with non-family members, and the last time I checked I definitely don't fall into the category of a family member.'

'If you like we can revert back to how things were?'

'Let me think.' Zach smirks while bending his head down to kiss me. 'No, I like things the way they are.'

'Me too,' I murmur against his lips. I sink deeper into him, the tight tense coils of my body unwinding a little more with every further touch we make.

I could get used to this.