I kick the bell attached to the bottom of the cabin's frame. The scratched worn metal, which at some point would have been rung a lot, clangs loudly. Shuffling impatiently, I peer through her window.

She's definitely inside. There's nowhere else she would be.

Through the dirty glass, I see movement; Alma's hunched figure illuminated by the dim light provided by a small bulb hanging from the ceiling. It's powered by a small turbine attached to the roof, all the cabins have them now. It's one of the few devices the council leaders allowed the Techies to install after years of having no electricity. Even the most stubborn can only fight progress for so long. In the end, a little electricity to light the buildings was deemed acceptable to the relief of the residents.

The door creaks open slowly and Alma squints against the darkness. 'Who is it?'

'It's me. Kit.' I step forward into the small slice of light seeping through the open door. 'I can come back tomorrow if you're busy.'

'Never too busy for you, Kit. I'd stop mid shit if you wanted me too.'

I laugh. 'Thanks, but I'd prefer you'd finish it first.'

'Yep, sounds like a good idea.' Alma chuckles. Hobbling to her chair, she slowly eases herself into it. 'So, what's going on with you?'

I've been in a bad mood since I saw Zach with that girl yesterday, but I don't want to admit my bad moods due to him because that would mean I feel something I shouldn't.

I shrug. 'Nothing much.'

Alma arches an eyebrow. 'Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter.'

'You have a dirty mouth, Alma.'

'I used to have a dirtier mouth. I toned it down because of you. Didn't want to get in trouble with your parents, did I.' Alma grins. 'Remember that time you went home and told your parents they were fatherfu-'

'Don't remind me.' I cringe.

'It was funny and clever. You changed it from motherfu-'

'I know what I did. And it was not funny or clever.'

Alma chuckles. 'I think I'm going to start cussing more though, your reaction is too entertaining. You're sixteen Kit, you can cuss.'

'Do you think I'm a prude?' I ask.

'No more than anyone else who grew up here,' Alma says.

Great. Zach was correct. I am a prude.

I slump into the rocking chair I always sit in and stare out at the fields which are a sea of black against the dark blue sky. It's a beautiful night, the crescent moon looks perfect and a scattering of stars glimmers above us. Can Zach see the stars from his room? Is he currently sitting next to the girl from yesterday with his arm around her staring up at them? No, she's probably sitting on his lap while they listen to his music. Music I've been dreaming about all week.

'Is that the only reason you visited, to ask if you were a prude?' Alma asks.

The reason I visited was because Mattan is out with Mara, and my parents tried to get me to play a board game they'd pulled out from the collection they brought from their previous life. I wasn't in the mood. Restless, I decided to go for a walk and ended up here. 'No, I just wanted to see you.'

I start to rock backwards and forwards in the chair but the base has a dent, making the motion jerky and uneven. Alma pulls a multicoloured blanket from the armrest of her rocking chair and covers herself. Waves of pastel wool cocoon her legs, a crochet creation of her own brought from another life when her daughters where babies. She strokes the bobbled frayed material gently, fragile and precious but only to her. It still hasn't rained. Silence fills the stagnant oppressive air around us. I sound like I'm writing the intro to a depressing story. My depressing life story.

I exhale roughly. 'Do you ever wish you'd joined another settlement?'

Alma stops stroking the blanket and takes a moment to consider my question before shrugging. 'There's no point in wishing for something that was never an option. The 'Techie's', as you call them, were turning people away and the other options...well, I didn't see much of a future for myself in any of them.'

The unsuccessful settlements she means. People formed groups, an affiliation linked to who they blamed or how they believed they could stop the spread of Virulence. Only the Naturalist and Techies survived the Virulence pandemic. The only other life we ever encounter are lawless Drifters, a few people who are lucky to be alive. Drifters roam the land taking what they want, including us, without rules or remorse.

Alma sighs. 'I know the no contact rule is hard. Hell, it's insane when you think about, goes against our very human instinct, but it was effective and now it's ingrained into our lives. Many here see it as the best method because we survived whilst everyone around us died. Even the Techie settlement had cases of Virulence as recently as five years ago. We haven't had a case for over fifteen years, probably more. Their technology managed to halt the spread in their settlement but they can't treat it, there is no cure. We managed to halt the spread by not touching even if it's not necessarily needed at the moment.'

'I can't work out if you agree with the non-contact rule or are against it.'

'I'm simply grateful to have survived. Many are not here to say the same thing,' Alma says quietly as she starts to caress the blanket again. Alma lost her entire family to Virulence. A family she doesn't often talk about because of the huge internal wound which still remains open nineteen years later.

'Do you ever wish you'd been allowed to find someone to live with here?' I avoid her gaze, focusing on my fingernail which digs into a small grove on the wooden arm of the chair.

'Sometimes. It never bothered me initially, my work was my main priority and I was always so busy.'

As one of the only medically trained people, Alma's advice was always required. There had been an outcry when she went into quarantine with me. For years she treated people, helped deliver babies and trained others without any help. How she worked around the no touching rule I have no idea. She never talks about it and neither do her patients. She hasn't been called on for a while, passing on her knowledge to the younger generation meant her duties have slowly eased off as she's aged.

Alma looks at me. 'Back then, I rarely had time to think about love and all that. But since I no longer get called on as a nurse, I often think it would be nice to have company. Not so much the sex. I think my downstairs area has closed up and it'd be like forcing a-'

'Alma!' I splutter. I really don't need that much information.

Alma shrugs unfazed. 'I know we never have these sorts of conversations but you're getting older. And I don't know how much your parents talk to you about this stuff, but I'm guessing not much if you're coming to me to ask if you're a prude. Are you thinking of settling with that Axel boy and you're worried about having sex?'

'I do not... no. I don't want to settle with Axel...' I splutter.

I'm pretty sure my ears are bleeding from hearing the words Axel and sex in the same sentence.

'Just the sex then?' Alma asks.

'No.' I squirm uncomfortably but this is Alma. Upfront, occasionally cusses Alma who would never judge me. I really am a prude.

'It's your choice who you settle with, but I'm glad you're not wanting to settle with Axel. You'd be bored of him within a few months. You need someone who keeps you on your toes. Axel would probably just try to massage them for you all the time.' She leans forward slightly. 'So if you're not interested in him, what's the problem?'

Zach is the problem. 'What if I find no one to settle down with?'

'You don't need to worry about being alone at this age,' Alma says. 'I know there aren't many options right now, but the younger ones will grow up soon so if you wait you'll be able to get yourself a toyboy.' She chuckles, a raspy and scratched sound escaping from her throat.

'I'll be thirty by the time they even reach their twenties.' My face contorts in disgust. 'And what is a toyboy?'

'A male lover who is much younger than his partner. I advise you wait, they'll have more energy to keep going.' Alma continues to chuckle as my face contorts even further.

This is why I've never had a conversation like this with Alma before. She's crude, maybe even more so than Zach.

'What's brought this on anyway? You've never expressed any interest in settling before,' Alma asks.

'I was just curious about how you felt about living in solitary.'

'I had decades with my family before I lived alone here. I'm lucky to have those memories to keep me company for my relatively short time in this settlement. Stay with your Dads until the right person comes along. There's no need to rush.' Alma sighs heavily. 'I know the options are limited, which means you will watch people around you be grateful for finding someone to settle with regardless of whether they are compatible. But let me warn you, don't make the mistake and settle down due to fear of being alone. You only get one chance with someone in this settlement, and you want to use that on a person you envision a happy and enjoyable future with. Preferably, someone you love. You don't want a life of solitary but living in an unhappy and unfilled relationship is just as bad, if not worst.'

My chest tightens at her words. Why did I ask? Because I thought she would say solitary isn't that bad and alleviate my fears of a life alone, or even suggest I should settle with anyone I get on with. Instead, she's filled me with more dread.

Is Suki's eagerness to please Seb when he showed an interest due to fear? Did she think if she didn't get in there fast and stake her claim early she'd be alone? I already know the answers to these questions. The answers make me shudder.

Walking home, my head is stuck on Alma's words. The seriousness and urgency behind them felt like a warning. The settlement is quiet. Everyone is inside, where the boundaries can be relaxed and the non-contact rule doesn't need to be enforced or worried about among family. How long do I have before Mattan leaves? How long till a barrier will be forced between us and I will no longer be able to act myself around him? He will have Mara, and I will have only my parents.

'Hey, Kit.'

I falter as Axel walks towards me. I've been avoiding spending any alone time with him all week. Zach's crude comments from last Sunday have put me on edge around him. Looking around, I have no excuse to get away.

I could run. I can't run. Can I? No.

'Hey, what are you doing out here so late?'

Axel continues forward until he's just over an arms distance away. If I stretched my hand out I couldn't reach him, a perfect distance established. He's a Naturalist at heart.

'I often go for a walk when it's dark. The settlement looks different enough I could almost be somewhere else.' Axel shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at the ground. I'd never considered Axel would dream of being other places, he always seems so comfortable and content with his life.

'I know what you mean.'

In the darkness surrounding us, the cabin's windows glow and a few outdoor lights flicker, illuminating the pathway in a soft glow of warmth. It's all slightly dreamy against the black-blue star-filled sky.

'You must feel the same about the woods?' Axel smiles.

'Yeah, I suppose I do. The quiet in the woods is different from the settlement; still yet moving. It's hard to describe, but I imagine in the woods things are always changing and happening even though I can't see it with my own eyes.' I shrug at the stupidity of my words.

My head is still full of the fairies and gremlins Alma used to tell me lived in the trees. I used to stare out my window at the woods trying to see them. Every now and again, I'd witness a flutter of a leaf and I'd think it was wings of a fairy. When I told Mattan he laughed so I never mentioned it again. It became my secret obsession until I realised there are no such things as fairytales.

'Sounds interesting,' Axel says quietly. 'I'd like to go with you sometime.'

No.

He can't come to the woods with me and Zach. Not only would it be awkward, but I also don't want to mix the two separate parts of me. I'm starting to enjoy having time which I don't share with my Naturalist friends. 'Would your parents be ok with that?'

'Probably not,' Axel replies, frowning.

Thank you universe! 'I don't want your parents to accuse me of being a bad influence. I'm pretty sure, they still haven't forgiven me for you nearly slicing your thumb off with a knife.'

'There's nothing to forgive.' Axel rubs the large scar on the fleshy part between his thumb and index finger. The competition we played to see how fast we could stab a knife between the gaps in our fingers had resulted in a lot of blood and screaming, all belonging to Axel.

'We're not kids anymore. We have to start thinking about what we want, regardless of our parents' views,' Axel says.

What do I want? I don't know.

Part of me has considered living with Axel to stave off the loneliness. However, I don't want to be with someone who I considered the best from a poor choice. We both deserve more than to be tolerated. I want desire and passion.

Reality check! That's not going to happen.

'I'm not sure our parents would agree with you.' I force a laugh. 'I'd better start heading home. My parents will be worried.'

'I'll walk with you.' Axel steps beside me whilst maintaining a suitable distance.

Bathed in a flickering soft glow, we walk along the softly lit path which weaves around the cabins. The whispering rustle of the leaves in the woods next to our settlement call out quietly.

This moment would be romantic if I wasn't with Axel.

Author's note:

Let me know what you think and don't forget to vote xx