Chapter 4 

Medical Officer Michael Banner checked over the last of the new batch of recruits. The Qatar was taking on ten this trip, ten fit, healthy young men who were passing all his tests with flying colours. The last man hesitated a moment after he was dismissed, hanging back to make sure everyone else was out of earshot. His handsome face was uncomfortably tense. He leaned forward and spoke softly, "Apparently I need to tell you that I'm an om." 

He looked uneasily at Banner. "No-one else in the team knows. This is confidential, right sir?" 

Banner nodded, hiding his surprise, according to his records, they hadn't had a new om on board for a long time. "Technically, only the Chief Medical officer needs that information, but I'll let him know. Don't worry, it's still confidential, Private Lang." 

XXX 

First Lieutenant Stewart's first reaction was one of pleasure, when he heard the news that Max was joining the Qatar. The boy had finally achieved his goal, he felt sure Max had the skills and determination to become an officer if he wanted to. His second reaction however was less agreeable as reality crashed in, there was still considerable unresolved tension in their personal relationship. This new situation had the potential for things to become very complicated.  

His friendship with Rob Lang had never really recovered from the events of three years ago. If Lang had felt betrayed by his friend, when he thought he was making advances to Max, Stewart had felt an equal betrayal. For eighteen years he had thought Lang had understood about his sexuality, respected the differences between them, but when it came to the test, he had been just as homophobic as anyone else. After he calmed down, Lang had made an awkward apology via com link, which Stewart had just as awkwardly accepted, but he had never been back to the house in Huan. Sure they met occasionally for a drink when the Lieutenant was down on Tian but it wasn't the same. 

Stewart still wrote occasionally to Max but he kept the communications about work and study and made a point of forwarding a copy of every communication to Lang, until Max was eighteen. Even then he never touched on anything personal. If things had been different, he would have been proud to serve as Max's mentor when he was in the early stages of dealing with his homosexuality, if he had needed advice. As it was, the best he could do was to refer him to a couple of well written texts on the subject. He hadn't seen Max in person for three years. Maybe now they could finally have a meaningful conversation, he only hoped Max had outgrown the crush he'd had on him! 

XXX 

Not for the first time, Max Lang wondered if he was doing the right thing. A P112 category ship was not necessarily the best place for a young man who had a healthy interest in sex. He wondered how the straights managed, at least he got to look, even if he couldn't do anything about it! The medic who had checked him in was cute, shiny black hair, grey eyes, a sweet smile. Something about the look he'd given him when Max told him he was an om had made him wonder for a moment if he was speaking to a companion, but then he'd remembered medic was the one job on a P112 ship that an om could never hold. Crews refused to have an om making those personal examinations that were sometimes required, even though medical organisations had argued that a medic was a medic first and foremost, always professional, whatever their sex. He put all thoughts of Michael Banner out of his head, any moment now he might see Alan again. 

Lieutenant Stewart decided the easiest way to arrange a meeting with Max was to start by introducing himself to all the new recruits. There was no point in trying to hide the fact that they knew each other but he could soon make it clear he wouldn't be giving Max any favours as a result. He tried to hide the jolt he got when he saw Max amongst the group of young men, he looked so much like his father had all those years ago. Dark blond hair, blue eyes, tall but still filling out, not as deep in the chest as Rob had been. 

At the end of his briefing he spoke directly to Max. "Come and see me for a coffee in the common room when you're off duty if you would. I'd like to catch up with the family news." He was careful not to make their relationship appear too personal. Max felt disappointed even though he knew he was being unreasonable. Dreams where Alan had dragged him off to his quarters when they met again, had been just that, dreams. He knew that. This was a patrol ship for god's sake, the most formally structured environment you could have, not the place for romantic encounters. 

"How are you Max?" Stewart asked later that day as they sat over two cups of coffee. He leant back, stretching his long legs out under the table. "Congratulations by the way, on your results at the Academy!" 

"I'm good, thanks. Uh, do I call you 'sir' now, even when we're off duty?" The thought suddenly occurred to him. At least he was grown up enough now not to call him 'uncle'! 

"I'm afraid so, at least when we're in a public place," the Lieutenant smiled. He took a sip of coffee. "So how's your Dad? What does he think of you joining the Qatar?" 

Max gave a wry grimace. "He's fine. But to be honest he's not too happy with me being here." He took a sip of his own coffee and lowered his voice. "He's never really accepted that I am ... what I am, you know. It's completely unfair, but I think he still blames you a bit, even though I've told him over and over you had nothing to do with it. It's just the way I am." He looked up as Alan snorted in frustrated disbelief.  

If Rob had been there he would have grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to shake some sense into him. Evidently his paternal protectiveness had curdled his brain. The Lieutenant glanced around casually to make sure they were still out of earshot. The last thing he wanted to do was have Max come and see him alone in his quarters, but he might have to, he certainly didn't want anyone else overhearing what they were saying. He leant forward and spoke softly, "Come and see me in about fifteen minutes. Bring a package with you if you can, as if it's some sort of present from your father. I think we need to talk privately about a few things."  

Max nodded, dropping his eyes so Alan wouldn't see the sudden rush of anticipation that had flooded through him with those words. His brain knew Alan wasn't going to make a pass at him but maybe he could take the opportunity to let Alan know he was interested. He couldn't help himself, Alan was still the hottest man he'd met. 

Lieutenant Stewart looked up from his desk as Max flashed his ID at the door, carrying a parcel wrapped in fancy paper he'd somehow managed to acquire. On Burra the paper would have been worth more than the present, whatever it was! He ushered him inside and closed the door behind him. Max tossed the package onto his desk then walked straight into his arms. The Lieutenant hugged him back, a little surprised that Max felt he was still young enough to do that, before he realised that the hug was not one of a boy for his 'uncle'. It was an embrace. Max felt surprised excitement fizz through his veins. Alan was hugging him back. He pulled him even tighter against his body, seeking his mouth for a kiss. 

Oh my god. Quickly and carefully Alan disengaged himself, stepping back and taking Max by the shoulders. He couldn't pretend he didn't know what had just happened. "Hold on here. Max, I can't possibly have a relationship with you. I love you very much, but not like that. Like a son. I've known you since you were born!"  

The words fell like drops of icy water onto his heart. "I'm nearly twenty years old, I'm not a child and you're not my father." Max protested rather desperately. "You're not even a real uncle, there's no reason we can't ..." 

"I'm sorry," Alan spoke with finality. Surely it was best to be clear from the start. He didn't want to hurt Max but it would be even crueller to lead him on, let him think a relationship between them had any kind of future. He could remember Max in nappies for god's sake, waving his spoon about as he sat in his highchair. Even thinking about sex with him felt so wrong, but he didn't need to tell him that, just keep it simple. Besides, he'd given Rob his word. 

Max fought for control, trying to swallow all the things he wanted to say. "It's Dad isn't it? He made you promise to stay away from me." 

"I'm sorry Max." Alan repeated. "But the truth is I just don't have those kinds of feelings for you."  

"Is there someone else?" Max was still desperately seeking a reason he could fight against. He had dreamt about Alan off and on for the last three years, even when he had a boyfriend thoughts of Alan had been there in the background, a dream lover that no real person could ever measure up to. He couldn't bring himself to believe what Alan was telling him, that there was no hope.  

A picture of grey eyes flashed into Alan's thoughts for a second, but he told Max the truth. "No, there's no-one in my life at the moment, that's not the issue. I've told you the truth Max." He looked seriously at the boy, obviously still struggling with his feelings. "Do you think you'll be able to put this behind you? Can you work with me?" 

The words shocked Max into a semblance of control, if he didn't get a grip, Alan was threatening to have him transferred. "Of course, sir. I'm sorry." 

Stewart smiled, hoping he could believe him. "I'm sure you can. I've been looking forward to having you on the Qatar, I'm sure you'll make me and Rob proud." 

"I'd better go sir, I'm on duty in five minutes." Max managed a polite smile. 

The Lieutenant saw him out, wishing vainly that the last ten minutes had never happened.