I wanted to write this story for those who hurt themselves or don't like themselves because of the horrible things that people do to themselves and each other, or bad thoughts, or for any other reason.
You must always keep faith, and the LORD will provide.
Never lose faith. Just pray and the LORD will rescue you. It might not be right away, but it will come. Don't give up. If you doubt in Him sometimes, He does not hate you. He says, "My child, Remember who you are. Who you belong to. You are Mine. You rest in Me. I will hold you up with My nailed hands. You are Mine. I will never leave you. I will always love you, because you are Mine. You are the LORD'S. Instead of doubting the faith, doubt the doubts. Those doubts are hollow. Don't lose yourself, My child. For you belong to the LORD."

I haven't cut myself because our Heavenly Father keeps me from doing so, and I'm so grateful. I have beat myself up, though, mentally and physically.
I pray and confess everything to my Father and LORD.
The LORD loves you. Don't ever forget that. You are His.

You know that voice that tells you to doubt? It will bring up this stuff and in reality it's the dumbest shit you've ever heard? Tell that voice to  fuck off. The voice that is doubting Him, it's dumb, if you haven't realized. That voice is so fucking stupid, so why are we listening to it??? It's an evil baby is what it is. That voice can't do anything but hate. So tell it to fuck off if it says something crazy to you!

GOD DOESN'T HATE YOU FOR THOSE THOUGHTS OR ANY CRAZY ASS THOUGHTS YOU MIGHT HAVE!

I have had the dumbest thoughts and I always think, "whoa you crossed the line, dude."
Let me tell you something, you don't really mean those things. I know sometimes it feels like you're the one who feels that way, but it's not. Sometimes it happens so much, that it's starting to feel like it's you.
You love God, which is why this is a problem for you. You LOVE JESUS!!! You just need to tell those thoughts to

F u c k  o  f  f~

I know it's hard! It's so damn hard to control your thoughts! But.  You.   Can.
When you think of it, don't feel guilty, it's not your fault! Don't get angry! That's not going to help anything! Immediately tell it to fuck off. Just say,
"Fuck off." As many times as you need to. And don't think about it anymore. Push that bad though out by just letting it go. Yeah you thought it, but God doesn't hate you and those thoughts happened, and know they are over. I know it feels like you need to punish yourself or keep processing it, but you don't. God does not want you to keep processing it.

I know a lot of us don't cuss, so say what your equivalent to that is. When a voice comes, don't hate yourself, don't get mad, just say it. You're okay. You're okay. You're okay. It's okay.

IF YOU ARE NOT HAVING CRAZY CHRISTIAN RELATED THOUGHTS...
If you are having thoughts instead like you are not good enough or no one loves you, GOD WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. Fricking always. And if I or the LORD didn't care about you, why would I be writing this??? THIS IS GOD TELLING ME WHAT TO WRITE. Now, with these thoughts, I know that you may or may not do what I ask you to do because you are in pain and might be numb, too. I was numb, and I wouldn't care about ANYTHING, anything, and that made me hate myself more.
I was numb for a very long time. I prayed and prayed and prayed, NOT THAT I WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL or smart of popular. Just that I would love myself and that God would love me. The second thing, I didn't and still don't really know that I don't have to pray for that. I need to pray to understand it and once I love myself, I will absolutely know that God loves me. He does, Be always has, we just have to remember it. I mean, what's not to love about you? You're great! You're a child of the Highest God! That makes you more beautiful than anything! I mean, who even set the standard for how men and women should act and look? You look the way you look and that if the way it's supposed to be. And that's beautiful! God is so good! He loves us! HE LOVES YOU. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, GOD LOVES YOU! THERE IS NOTHING YOU WILL DO THAT WILL EVER CHANGE THAT. NOTHING!

Now, maybe you're having thoughts about thinking about Jesus or God so much that you are putting God in the place of other things. When you think weird stuff, God comes to mind. When you're thinking bad stuff, God comes to mind. Or when you're thinking of God, the evil devil comes to mind. My friends, you need to focus on the truth. You know who the real God is. If the devil ever comes to mind, you smile because you know that the devil is not the truth. You know who the real God is and some silly thoughts won't change that. Don't pay attention to that evilness. Just push it aside because thoughts like that literally don't matter. Any bad thoughts about God or Jesus, whether they be mean, hateful, gross, switched around, angry, or anything else, I mean anything, it's not real. Push them aside. I have had jut about every one of them. You are okay! You are good!
If you ever want to see the LORD so bad, that you just want to end it all, I know that feeling, too. You are not alone. I have just wanted to hug Jesus so bad that I was ready to let it go. But, God doesn't want that. He never will. Just spend time with Him.
Praying = talking to Him
Meditating = listening to Him

We need to do both. Meditation isn't hard at all, and I have ADHD! So I can't sit still for anything. If you have questions about it, I can help you, whether you ask in the comments or pm me.
You just sit some place you feel safe. If that safe spot is not your room, then don't go in there. If it's not even your house, then leave.
If you don't have time, then make time! I know that gets said a lot, but it is important. Before you go to bed (which I like best, just sit somewhere comfortable, cross your legs or sit on them, whichever you like better.
Next, there is a lot you can do to help you focus. Some people count their breaths or think about their blessings or just don't think at all. Those don't really work for me so I go through my head and remember all of my memories, good and bad. Every one that I can remember, I go through it. Not in a certain order. If you choose this, NEVER DWELL ON IT. That is the same thing as dwelling on the past. It's not going to help you, and if you start to, try to direct yourself into leaving it behind. Lead yourself forward. I'm not saying that you have to do it this way. Just find a way that you like. A way that will clear your mind without you hurting yourself. You may just turn on some calming music, and sit there. But try to clear your mind. God will let you know what you need to know. And if He doesn't, it's not time yet. Don't be hesitant to do what God is saying.
GOD WILL NEVER TELL YOU TO HURT YOURSELF!!! I almost did, I was so close to doing something insane, but I didn't because I knew that my God would never tell me to do something like that. No, He won't. Just, don't. You're beautiful. You don't need to prove yourself! You don't need to be perfect! You can try to be a better person if that is what GOD is telling you! Meditation also just helps to calm down. If you're scared or numb, bring yourself to mediate. Think about good things. Things that make you happy (not hurting yourself).

IF YOU KNOW WHAT GOD DID FOR YOU AND YOU JUST DON'T FEEL ANYTHING WHEN IT COMES TO THAT,
It's not you!!! That feeling is normal. It's the 'Dark Night of the Soul' and it happens. You do not have a heart of stone, you are not evil, you are not cruel, and you are definitely not a child of the devil. You never will be. The devil CAN'T create life. It can ruin your life if you don't listen to God.

He loves you so much it's unbelievable. So much that others think it can't be real. He knows it's hard to live a life with Him sometimes. I mean, He's not just walking into your room or calling you over the phone. And He gets that. And He is not going to hate you ever for weird stuff. Never. He is your Father. Your Almighty Father who loves you more than you can ever (and will ever) imagine.

✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Now, if you are a believer or not a believer (maybe yet), those thoughts that you have, the thoughts that you're not good enough, tell them to FUCK
O F F~
Say that and don't dwell on them anymore! I'm not as familiar with helping with those kinds of problems because I know that whatever I say or what anyone says most of time doesn't help. I know that it doesn't help! But I'm gonna try BECAUSE I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Go to your bathroom mirror and I want you to pick out one beautiful thing about yourself. Just one. Just go and do it. Please.
Now pick out another.
It worked for me, and a few of my other people, and I'm hoping that it helps you, too. I don't know if I can help you all that much. I found my help through God so I didn't need to realize everything on my own (for those who don't believe). And, I know that those thoughts can just block whatever good anyone has to stay about you, no matter what you believe. I'm sorry that I might not be able to help you. I still love you though and I will do whatever I can to help you!
You just need to find one good thing about yourself. One good thing.
Then find one good thing that you did. Did you smile at someone? That's you being good. You did good. You are good. You are beautiful. There is someone out there wishing that they could have a feature you have. They wish they could have your beautiful nose or hair or lips or eyes. Anything. They see the good things. They don't understand why you don't.
There is someone out there who is thinking about you right now, not bad or good things. Just, thinking about you. Because you are there and they have noticed you. And they care about you. You are noticed. You are beautiful. No matter who you are.

I really hoped I have helped you! Even if I didn't, I hope that you will finally realize that you are amazing. You will never be perfect, and that is they say everyone is. Not just you. That person who is so beautiful and caring is not perfect. Not even close. That Christian who seems to always know what they are doing, is not perfect. They just follow God. They do what you do. Everyone has different things that they do. Everyone has different problems. Your family will miss you. Your family didn't even have to be your own blood. It can be your friends or pets or maybe, your just fighting for yourself. That's okay. Fight for yourself because you matter and you deserve it. I'm fighting for you, and I would sure as heck miss you. You're great. I'm writing this to everyone. Men and women and non-gender specific people! You are beautiful! You're flat out amazing. Please help others and yourself to realize it.
If God and a person a million miles away can love you, why shouldn't you love yourself. God knows the real you, and He loves you.