"You have to tell her Sully," said Alder. His blue gaze was worried. "This secret will eat you ali-"

"I know!" I shouted. "I know," I repeated softer. "But I'm waiting for Emmalyn to bring it up... Alder, I never wanted... she should've never..." He walked closer.

"We've been over this, numerous times already. You tell her about your past and I'll tell her about mine... I know, I wouldn't have wished that on her either if I could've avoided it. Sully, it was going to happen eventually, that word is a fairly common occurrence." Our eyes met. "I will be there for you when you do, do so."

"I just-...." I trailed off, unable to finish my statement.

"Wait for her to question you then," he said. "I'll be in our room." Alder headed to our room and sighed. Emmalyn must bring it up or I'll won't know how to reveal him. I shuddered, a scared look on my face. I know my father shouldn't be that hard of a subject to bring up or... should I mention that the 'a' word triggers me? The second option seemed to be the easier of the two.

But how would I say it?

Emmalyn came home from school a few hours later, giving me chance to collect my thoughts and attempt to not look guilty as I looked at my daughter. We regarded each other for a moment, before Emmalyn went to put her bag away. She returned. "Hey Emma, how's school?" She blinked.

"Good." She then walked off to her room, conversation clearly over.

So, not today. . .

The next day however...

I was in the lounge checking on Reyna. She was still alive, thank God. Her grey muzzle and shaky mew was concerning though. She was frail, but still alive and kicking. I hardly noticed that Emmalyn had walked into the lounge. "Oh, Emma! Did you sleep well?" Emmalyn looked away briefly and assumed a shy posture.

"I slept well and um, I know you probably didn't expect this, but um, why were you in the fetal position on the floor when that happened? Heh." It was almost as if a glass had shattered.

Well, my confidence was certainly gone.

"Uh, hold on a bit there Em," I murmured getting up off the couch. I jogged into my and Alder's room, where he was reading a book. "Alder!" I whispered, he gazed up. "Help me! She's asking...." His gaze widened and he put down the book. He took my hand, gently rubbing circles on it.

"It's okay. Let's go," he murmured.

"Okay," I led him toward where Emmalyn was waiting awkwardly. "So... you wanted to know.... well, you see.... uh," I paused, glancing at Alder. "There's this word that triggers me..." Emma blinked.

"'Triggers'?" She repeated, confused. Alder gave me a reassuring look before walking forward and started whispering in her ear. I couldn't hear the first part of his speech. He stepped back and rejoined me.

"When he hears the word, it causes him to have a flashback," he explained. "Often with a panic attack." I hardly felt the movements on my hand until Alder's gentle rubbing gained more pressure.

"Which... lands me in the fetal position in a bathroom be there one," I explained more,"because I don't want to panic in front of people. But, me having a panic attack was how you two found out, right?" Alder leaned on my shoulder.

"Right."

"So.. yeah..." I replied awkwardly. Emmalyn merely blinked up at us. Alder squeezed my hand.

"I know this is a lot to take in. But just...remember to not say that word, okay?"

"...okay," Emmalyn murmured. "Another secret I have to keep secret..." she muttered the statement under her breath. Alder sighed.

"I'm sorry. But this is something you need to know."

"But that's much worse than having a cr-I mean nothing!" Alder arched a brow.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" Emmalyn was blushing now.

"You're a terrible liar." Alder didn't sound amused.

"I'm not lying!" Emmalyn squeaked in protest.

"Emmalyn, you're my daughter. I can tell when you're lying."

"Even if I was I'm not going to tell you what I'm lying about."

"And why not?"

"Because..." her blush darkened. "It doesn't matter."

"I think it does."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"It matters to me."

"How does me having a crush on my best friend matter to you?" She suddenly blurted out. She then gasped and covered her mouth.

"I-I'm sorry, what?"

"Nothing! I should go to my room!"

"Emmalyn," Alder's voice sounded irritated and his gaze looked serious. Emmalyn stepped back, terror lighting her gaze.

"I shouldn't have said anything." Alder's facial expression changed immediately. Irritation to a haunted fear.

"No. I'm scaring you..." his voice was barely a whisper. I stepped forward. "I-I'm... turning into him..." his voice was barely audible.

"Dad?" Emmalyn asked. Alder shut his eyes tightly and put his face in his hands.

"I-I... I'm so sorry..."

"It's fine you just surprised me. Are you angry...?"

"No. No, I-I mean yes, I... I can't.... oh God," Alder's accent got thicker and more prominent as his fear grew.

"D-Dad? It's fine... I won't do anything about it..." I bent next to my husband.

"Maybe it's time you told her," I whispered.

"No... I can't. I can't. I... Okay. Sully, I'm turning into him. I'm turning into him! I-I scared her, I'm him, I'm turning into him..." I cupped his cheek.

"Alder, look at me. Her being scared doesn't automatically mean you're turning into him. I know you. You're not like that. She's just never seen you angry."

"I've given too much away to not say anything else... but... Sully, what I'm about to tell her is horrible. I don't want her to have nightmares like mine," Alder whispered.

"Alder, I'll tell you what you told me back in the hospital. She deserves to know. And I'm sure she won't have nightmares. I know I'm not being to comforting right now..." I trailed off.

"Alright. Emmalyn... my father... to say the least, was not a good person." I put my hand on his shoulder but he just took it off and leaned on my shoulder. "I.... I... won't give you a visual, but..." I could see the tears forming by his eyes before he pushed his hands into them. He struggled to pull them off. He continued," he would... b-beat me. By a visual I meant the scars. He's put me in the hospital before, multiple times. I have awful flashbacks and panic attacks whenever someone mentions the word I told you earlier because he was always... under the influence... when he did it." Emmalyn's eyes merely widened.

After a pause Alder spoke again," I didn't want to tell you this. I didn't want anyone to know. But one of the main reasons this haunts me.... is he also beat my little sister, Reyna. To the point where... she...  she died." Alder finally let his tears fall and I looked at him sadly.

Emmalyn paled. "H-he killed someone? D-didn't he go to jail?" My gaze travelled between the two.

"N-no, I was too scared to report him. He died of alcohol poisoning two years after your father and I got married."

"O-oh." My gaze travelled to the roof. Alder was looking at the ground.

"Fitting, isn't it, that the thing that killed my sister and nearly me ended up killing him?" He was whispering to himself.

A silence fell and no one dare spoke.