"They... what?" My eye twitched and I felt them narrowing. Alder and I were back at home and Alder had just told me... something. I felt the outburst coming on. I tried to keep it at bay. Alder looked at me.

"I thought I'd escaped my father..." Alder trailed off looking at the ground, unable to continue. He didn't have to. I turned around.

A table was in front of me.

"They WHAT?" I repeated, with more emphasis on the 'what' this time. I felt the rage building. Alder looked back at me.

"....they did." He said once again looking away from me. The rage peaked, and I snapped. I slammed my fists on the table, rage taking over.

"They f**king did what?" I shouted. One thing, if I'm p*ssed, you'll know it. My rage rendered my opinion on swearing useless. P*ss me off, and I will swear at you. And as being someone who isn't throwing an f-bomb every second sentence, if I suddenly shout 'f**k' you better run. Hurt my husband, I swear I will f**king kill you. "They- They- f**king- F**K THEM! F**K THEM ALL!" I exploded. Alder's face grew shocked and he backed away.

His eyes were scared, and he continued to back away from me. He started to cry and wrapped his arms around himself. This only made him cry harder and with a whimper, he whispered,"I'm sorry..." before racing off into our room and going where I couldn't see him. Seeing this made my anger die immediately.

"I'm sorry," I said to the air. "I don't know what came over me.."

The only reply was loud sobbing coming from our room. With a chill I realized, I'd probably triggered Alder's memories. His father's shouting... his father's.....

"I've stuffed up..." I told myself, knowingly. "He probably hates me now...." I know I'd never hurt him, I loved him, but did he know that? Did he know that I'd only had that outburst because I'm protective of him? I sighed. Probably not. I'm still amazed he forgave me for being jerk back in hospital in our youth after I walked out on him after realizing he was clearly uncomfortable with the blood that had been from my knocked tooth. I'd walked out so he wasn't uncomfortable but that hurt him. Sighing, I walked outside. I decided to go on a walk, to clear my head.

That orphanage came into view and I gazed at it sadly. Would Alder even want children now? After this? I sighed. I decided to do it, see the orphans. This day couldn't possibly get any worse, with a husband who probably hated me.

I entered the orphanage. Children of all shapes and ages turned to face me. I flashed the kids a smile. The kids smiled back at me and returned to whatever they were doing. I looked around.

I made eye contact with a young girl.

This girl couldn't have been more than three years old. Her eyes were a blueish green, maybe more green than blue. She had honey blonde curly hair which fell to her shoulders. She was looking curiously at me. I kneeled so I was closer to her height. "Hello," I said to her.

"Hello," the girl replied shyly. She was smiling. "What is a man doing here?"

"I saw this orphanage and decided to have a look," I told her. The girl gazed at me. I smiled at her.

"Hey, Emma?" One of the other orphans called out, a little boy. "Who is da man you're talking to?" 'Emma' turned to face the other orphan.

"He came to look at us, Johnny," 'Emma' replied. "I don't know da reason." I saw 'Johnny' look at me, and then walk over. The orphan looked at me. I gave him a small wave.

"Hello," 'Johnny' said. I gave him a small smile.

"Hello," I replied. One by one a few orphans came up and introduced themselves to me with the names the orphanage had given them. There was 'Gabriella', 'Gregory', 'Harold', 'Christine', 'Antoinette', 'Billy'. They were all cute and all. But I'd already made up my mind. If Alder and I would adopt that is.

"Are you looking to adopt?" Said a voice behind me. I turned to find myself face to face with the reception lady.

"Well, we're not sure yet," I answered. "We're still deciding if we actually want kids." The girl called 'Emma' was looking at me.

"That's perfectly alright," said the lady, returning to the reception.

I left the orphanage feeling much better. Of course, there was still the situation at home to sort out but at least I had seen the options. My mind was made up though.

The child I wanted to adopt was 'Emma'.