The soft click of Vanya shutting the door behind her was all Mara needed before she released a shaky breath.

She couldn't put up her façade any longer and let herself fall back into the shelf. Though she found Vanya the most endearing out of the six siblings, she still didn't trust her enough to let her see Mara be off guard.

Ben sat across from her on the floor, leaning on the packaged stacks of ketchup. Being in a storage room, they had to make the most of it out of the lack of space and appropriate seating.

He stared intently at nothing as his face contorted in various different emotions. Confusion. Anger. Denial. Betrayal. Then back to anger. It was a cycle Mara found herself to be familiar with especially in the past two days.

She left no stone unturned when she revealed the secrecy of her father and the reason of her absence to him. Even with Vanya silently listening and tending to his cuts, Ben didn't utter a word. But looking at him now, Mara already knew he was finally going to let out his frustrations now that Vanya had left.

"Why help them in the first place?" he said, his voice low enough that Mara almost didn't hear him. "They could be far more dangerous than anything."

"That boy was telling the truth, Ben." She pulled both her legs to her chest. "I saw everything."

"You touched him without your gloves?" Ben raised his voice slightly and nearly stood up. "Mara, you know you can't just do that."

"I don't know why I did it either." She huffed. "When I saw that stupid old banister about to break off under him, it was like something took hold of me. I had completely forgotten what his powers were."

Her brother paused, his expression seemed to soften if not for a bit. "What did you see?"

Mara stiffened. Just the slightest mention or reference of it put her sense on overdrive. "The apocalypse."

Her lungs hitched. Her eyes watered at the thought of the smoke engulfing her under the falling sky in the ruins of everything she thought she knew. Ben's face began to blur from the threatening tears, but Mara wiped it away before it could have the chance to fall.

"Everything was in ruins including the Academy. There were ashes falling down from the sky." Pulling her legs closer to her chest, she continued in a shaky voice. "It buried what was left even the corpses of those purple standing outside that door."

Mara stared at her feet. She knew if she looked at Ben any further, she would burst.

"Smoke was the only thing I could breathe in." she sniffed, tears already making its way back. "I can still feel it clogging up my lungs and burning my eyes."

Mara exhaled deeply. It was shaky breath that cracked her façade. "I saw Five there, Ben. I watched him scream over their dead bodies and sacrifice his own principles just to get back to them."

The visible frustration and anger at himself for leaving in the first place. The loneliness in his eyes whenever he looked at his mannequin friend. The brutal promise to himself and the constant red that decorated his hands.

It was all coming back to her.

"No one deserves to live a life he had." she said, voice cracking slightly but still remained stern in her appearance as she turned back to face her brother. "I wanted to help him because its what we do."

Ben's expression changed. It was evident in his face the torment and indecisiveness to trust in her blatant belief and the skeptical questioning he was taught.

"Did you see the others by the way?" she asked instead, not waiting for his response. "Matthew or Alvi?"

"No." He replied looking down. "I checked their rooms but they were empty."

"Did they get taken?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure. Matthew and Alvi are strong enough to handle themselves, but we dont know these guys."

Mara hummed. Exhaustion was slowly taking over her body as she scraped the dried blood from her gloves with little to much success. Suddenly, she became conscious of the substance stuck to her cheek and felt sick when she remembered where it came from.

"I'll be right back." She stood without waiting for Ben's reply and rushed out the door, closing it shut behind her.

Outside in the bar, the group seemed to be arguing in hushed tones about something that Mara didn't feel inclined to know yet. The group didn't notice her, but she locked eyes with Five.

His gaze tore deep into her subconscious and Mara broke away before anything. She rushed inside the comfort room and locked herself in.

Pressing her palms against the sink, she felt her chest swell up. Mara tore off the leather skin from her hands, letting it land under the water flow, and turned the faucet knob. She let the warm water drench her bare fingers before she dove down to wipe her face.

Rising up, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror and Mara almost didn't recognize herself.

Her time in the ice had resulted in her turning away the mirrors, not only due to her own insecurity, but also from the reality of what had become of her after all those years of desensitized killing. 

Mara tried to suppress these memories, ignore its lingering glares in her trainings in order to keep herself from madness and her walls from crashing down. She had shut down any sign of vulnerability, refusing to let her heart get the best of her as so she wouldn't end up a victim again.

She could barely remember her innocence. The memory felt so distant. It was a life long gone now. She had turned into a different person since then, whose face had grown into a permanent scowl with sharp cheekbones. 

Subtle dark circles lined under her eyes as well her bottom lip sporting a purple bruise. Strands of hair stuck out from her braid and dust caked the entirety of her face. A streak of blood stuck to her left cheek that made her sick in the stomach.

Leon's blood.

Mara swiped her hand back under the running water and harshly tried to wipe it off. Small patches had torn away and after a few wipes, it was gone, but the mark had been done. The slick sensation of the red liquid had already dried and sunk deep into her skin.

Her lower jaw trembled. The running water matched her escaping sobs as she watched his remains flow down the drain. Her short inhales seemed to drown our everything else as her scruffy boots blurred and spun with the floor beneath her. The walls pushed inwards with her constricted in between, and the shelves looked as if they were to topple over her any moment now.

Her walls had already broken down. The memory of Leon's bloody massacre she had tried so desperately to suppress had come back stronger than ever to torment her. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing anymore. The image burned not only in her mind, but in the deepest consciousness of her being.

She hiccupped through her wails, letting the pressure of forcing herself not to feel be released as the room grew smaller. Mara lifted a hand to try and wipe away the salty tears to regain whatever was left of her composure. But no matter how many times she erased the stains, the waterfall just wouldn't stop.

She felt weak. Her body slumped forward, closing her face into the space between her chest and knees.

Mara closed her eyes. She listened to the drumming of her heart. Soon after, her mind was filled with the sound of the still running water. The noisy vents. The discussion/argument of the six siblings. The ragged breathing of Jesper. The squelch of pierced flesh. Ben's accusations. Leon's stillness.

Her chest convulsed.

She could no longer feel the oxygen entering her lungs.

I need to get out of here.

Mara wasted no time in turning the doorknob. Her feet scrambled to find stable ground, and in her haste she nearly landed on her face.

The hallway was just ready to eat her up, its shining lights gleaming blood soaked teeth.

No.

Mara was already in its throat.

She ran out through the back door, out of its mouth. Though she struggled to focus on her surroundings, her body acted automatically and scaled the emergency escape, climbing into the roof. Her back slammed on the nearest exhaust pipe, sliding down until she hit the floor.

Mara felt lighter, as if the wind could carry her, but her head still spun and pulled out Jesper's cigarette box. She took out one of the remaining stick and let it rest between her lips, the wooden taste filling her mouth.

No matter how stupid she thought of it at first, Jesper was right. The tube kept her from falling into a downward spiral. It allowed her to hone on the bitterness and rough paper of the stale cigarette until everything returned to focus.

Her hand slipped inside her pocket and held Leon's lighter in front of her, opening and closing the lid repeatedly. She closed her eyes and listened to the metallic sound match with the drumming of her heart. The soft rustle of the wind healed her tension and she slumped further into the exhaust pipe.

"Didn't think you were the type to smoke."

Mara's eyes popped open. She looked over her shoulder and saw none other than Five. "I'm not."

"What's it doing in your mouth then?" He took a step closer, his face becoming more illuminated by the streetlights.

His tone was low and steady, not the usual sharp and crass one she was used to. Mara wasn't sure if it didn't suited him.

"Its just something I do to keep myself grounded." She gripped the lighter, feeling the cool metal against her palm. "If that makes sense."

Five took his place beside her on the concrete floor. "Not really, but to each their own I guess."

"Yeah? What's your way of coping?"

"Sarcasm."

Mara gave him a look.

"The golden ratio." He said finally, his head low and his eyes turned elsewhere. "I would count the first ten numbers in the sequence."

The corners of her lips curled slightly. It was oddly endearing, especially after everything she had seen.

Mara raised the lighter like it was a toast.

"To each their own."