Jin's POV

"Hyung...?" Jungkook said as he entered the lounge behind me.

"Hmm..? My shoot is done so I won't be needed for the next couple of hours. I'll just rest in here until everyone is done." I said as I lied down on the couch, my forearm covering my eyes.

"You know that you can talk to me, right? I don't know if I could help you with whatever is happening, but I could listen to you anyway. If it's because I am the youngest-" Jungkook said, sounding unsure.

"Of course not!" I sat up and looked at Jungkook. He looked really concerned.

"It has nothing to do with you being the youngest. Don't ever think that we don't tell you things because we think you aren't old enough to understand it or anything like that. It's just that I am confused and I don't know what to do.."

Confused doesn't even begin to describe what was going on in my head.

"Maybe if you voiced out your thoughts, it would help. What's bothering you about Yoona?" Jungkook asked as he sat down on the couch, beside me.

"When I introduced you all to Yoona, I said that she was an old friend that we had met on a trek five years back. The thing is that was the first and last time I had met her until now."

"What? You are good friends but you met only once and it's been five years since then?" Jungkook asked, trying to understand what I meant.

"So after the trek, we kept in touch even though she was in Busan and I was in Seoul. We would talk to each other all day long. I started liking her and I think she liked me too, at least it seemed like she did. It was all good until the day I got street-casted and ended up losing my phone on way back from the audition."

"So you lost her number?"

"Yeah, and it also lead to me not contacting her until now." I said slowly.

"What..? You haven't spoken to her since then? Just because you lost her number? There are so many ways you could have gotten in touch with her! If that was the reason, it was a very stupid one." Jungkook looked incredulous.

I didn't know how to answer him.

"You didn't even try?" Jungkook's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets.

"I did try, eventually. But it was too late by then."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after I lost her number, I thought I would just call her when I got a new phone. I didn't think too much of it then. However, hearing about the instances where other trainees had to leave their girlfriends behind because of the ridiculous standards when it comes to idols and their dating lives, made me take a step back and think about where things were going with Yoona."

"Okay...." Jungkook didn't look like he was convinced.

"I really liked her but I also knew that if something were to happen, she would have to bear the brunt of being associated with me. I started to reconsider if I should pursue anything further with Yoona. I didn't want to lead her on and make her hope for a future that would not be possible. Moreover, at the time I had known her only for a couple of months, I wasn't even sure if it was worth all the trouble. I figured that if I didn't contact her, she would eventually forget about me and move on."

"What? If you liked her, she would have been worth the trouble!"

"It had been only a couple of months since we had met. I didn't want to get into a relationship with her when I wasn't sure of how serious I was when it came to her. What if things didn't work out? Even if I was the one at fault, she would be the one facing the majority of the backlash. To put her through all that would have been selfish."

"Hmm.. That's understandable. But that doesn't mean you stop talking to her altogether! Its almost like you were looking for reasons to convince yourself to avoid her.."

"I'll be the first person to admit that I was a complete jerk and a coward. Anything would have been better than the way I handled things. She repeatedly tried to contact me through SNS too but I just ignored her thinking that I was looking out for her."

"I think talking to her would have meant that you were actually looking out for her. Ignoring her was doing the complete opposite! Even I know that and you were as old as me back then!"

I was glad to see Jungkook calling me out like this. I had always tried to make sure that everyone could be frank with me, without having to worry about the age difference. If they don't tell me when I am wrong, who else would?

"Yeah, I agree with you completely. I was a complete mess and didn't realise the consequences of my actions. Within a couple of months, I started to regret my decision. I tried contacting her but I couldn't find any of her SNS accounts. When we finally debuted as idols, I thought I would become famous and she would end up seeing me on TV and maybe try to contact me. I know that, logically, she wouldn't because I was the one to cut off all ties."

"But she didn't contact you? Not even after your accident?" Jungkook looked surprised.

"No. It was after that that I gave up all hope of ever hearing from her. I knew that I was at fault but I thought that she would care enough to contact me after hearing about my accident, especially after it had made the mainstream news. I was hurt, I might not have had the right to, but I was. It wasn't her fault though. She wasn't even in the country and didn't know that I was part of a K-pop group. She hadn't heard of anything while I kept hurting thinking she didn't care."

"She didn't know that you are an idol?! Wow. Oh wait, does she call you Jinja?" Jungkook asked, his eyes wide with understanding.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" I don't remember mentioning that to any one of them.

"I remember you signing off one of your super cheesy tweets with 'Jinja' after you were back from the hospital and I thought it was really random. I figured you were making some stupid joke but it felt out of place. So you were trying to get her attention?"

"Hey! My tweets aren't cheesy. They are words of wisdom! But, yeah, I thought since Twitter has a bigger reach, she would at least see that and know that I was thinking of her. But that didn't happen and I eventually gave up on it. And, now.."

"And, now she's back in your life."

"Yeah and we have diligently managed to avoid the elephant in the room, making things unbearably awkward. I brought it up and she's been distancing herself ever since. Then I see those idiots! She doesn't even know them and they were crowding her!"

"Hyung, do you still like her?" His question caught me off guard.

"I-I don't think so...No, nope. I don't. This has nothing to do with that. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable with so many new people surrounding her."

"Aren't you just jealous that it's not you out there with Yoona?" Jungkook said wiggling his eyebrows.

I glared at him and he just grinned in response.

A knock at the door told us that it was time for Jungkook's shoot.

"What are we going to do with you?" Jungkook chuckled and got up. "Hyung, you can say whatever you want to convince yourself but even you know better. Anyway, I have to to go now, but think about it." He left the lounge, smiling to himself.

Do I still like her..? Maybe it's just because I met her after all this time. Yup. That's it.

Nostalgia...

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A/N: Jinkook ^_^