Antlia Avery was stuck in a beautiful cage. The Slytherin Princess, Antlia put on an excellent facade of beauty and calm. But inside her mind was screaming. She didn't want this life, she didn't want to follow her father. She didn't want this. Always saying yes to her father, always giving in. Antlia never said no, instead choosing the be the perfect little daughter.

The dinners had been bearable only with the company of Sirius, but once he escaped, the families swooped down on Antlia. She became the focus of the conversations, the mothers with sons trying to set up Antlia with their "precious boys".

Antlia couldn't wait for the days she spent at Hogwarts. There was always a lingering feeling of her father watching her everywhere Antlia went, but it lessened while she was at Hogwarts. She awaited her father's letters with a feeling of dread. They never carried good news.
​
Antlia waved goodbye to Teely before stepping onto the train that would take her to Hogwarts. While passing the train compartment where Sirius sat with his friends, she glanced briefly in through the window. When Sirius felt her stare, he bolted out of his seat and called out to her as she continued down the hallway. "Lia! Wait!"

"Black," Lia said cooly, giving Sirius a level look. Her face was a mask of calm, showing no outward emotion. Inside, her mind was screaming at Sirius. Why did you leave me? You left me to fend for myself in the belly of the beast! "What do you want?"

"I wanted," Sirius paused before continuing. "I wanted to know if you were alright. Are you okay?"

I'm not okay. I'm drowning. You were what kept me afloat. And now you aren't there. "I'm perfectly fine." She said instead, not voicing the thoughts that were ringing in her mind. You look happier. I'm glad that you are happy. You were what made me happy. Now I have nothing. "Is there anything else that you needed?

His dark eyebrows knit together before swallowing. He wasn't sure how to react to her words. Lia had told him multiple times that he was all that kept her sane. Sirius was sure that she must be lying. "Are you sure?" He asked, his tone obviously skeptical.

"I am sure," Lia said firmly. "Now, if there isn't anything else that you needed, I must get going." She turned without saying goodbye and continued down the corridor, leaving Sirius standing in the center.

Antlia sat in a compartment on the train numbly. She listened to her peers in Slytherin chatter, smiling and nodding when appropriate. Some were already being sworn into service for the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord. Oh, how she hated that title. He was no noble, no lord. But he was dark. That part of his name was correct. He was the darkest wizard that Antlia had ever encountered. And she was constantly surrounded by dark wizards.

"Antlia, when are you going to get the mark?" One of the boys who had boasted about his own mark merely moments before asked her. The Dark Mark was a badge of honor among the Slytherin students, literally marking you as someone to respect and as someone not to be messed with.

"I'm not sure," Antlia said, glancing at the boy with the same mask of calm she used on Sirius. I don't ever want to get it. I don't want this life. I want to help people, not kill them. And this blood purity idea is ridiculous. "My father hasn't approached me about it yet. You know how he is." Antlia made her last comment flippantly, a way to take the attention off her and divert it to someone else in the group. It worked. Someone brought up how her father had asked her, and the conversation moved on.

Antlia settled back into the seat and wished that she could read a book. Her textbooks this year were very interesting. And she had a Muggle romance novel that she had been hiding from her father that she wanted to read. She would have to find a time to steal away to the library to read that. Her father hated anything that related to the Muggle world.

When the train finally pulled up to the station, Antlia let out a breath of relief. The farther she got away from the Avery house and her father, the easier she could breathe. Antlia didn't have to constantly look over her shoulder to make sure that there wasn't a Death Eater lurking when she was at Hogwarts. Hogwarts was the only place where she felt some semblance of safety, and even then it wasn't complete. There were students who were already Death Eaters. The Slytherin house was full of them.

Antlia stepped off the train surrounded by her "friends". She cast one last glance at Sirius before heading to the carriages pulled by skeletal horses. Antlia didn't know much about the thestrals, but she knew that they could only be seen if you had seen death.

And Antlia had witnessed death. It was inevitable when you lived in a Death Eater household. With her father being in the Dark Lord's inner circle, meetings were often held at the Avery house. Antlia used to spy on them, but one unfortunate meeting where a 13-year-old Antlia had witnessed someone being tortured to death had quickly put an end to that. Now when the meetings were held at her house over the summer, Antlia cast a noise-canceling spell on her bedroom's walls and door to block out the sounds that came from below.

The carriage ride was almost identical to the train ride. It was meaningless chatter until Antlia jerked her head up at the sound of someone saying two words. "Sirius Black." Antlia stayed silent as the boy continued with his tirade against Sirius. "That good for nothing Gryffindor. Blood traitor! He chose his friends over his family. Isn't that right, Regulus?"

Antlia watched Regulus tighten his fists into balls and open his mouth to speak. "Please stop it." Antlia cut Regulus off before he could speak, her own voice still monotone.

"Oh, I forgot." The boy smirked. "You two were a thing, right? He fancied you?" When Antlia didn't move or give any sign that she heard him, though she obviously had, he continued. "Now you'll have to marry me. I'm sure my father could arrange it. Imagine, me with the Slytherin Princess." The boy looked back at his friends, who were laughing with him.

"I would never marry you in a million years, Flint." Antlia spat. Her mind recoiled at the image of marrying him, eventually carrying on his family line, and being with him for the rest of her life. The rest of the carriage shrank back from the girl. This was one of the rare occasions that they had heard Antila raise her voice. The jab about Sirius had shaken her, for the sole reason that it had been true. Sirius had fancied her but had never done anything about it. Antlia only knew because she had overhead Sirius telling Regulus.

"Now, Flint, if you would excuse me, I have better things to do." Antlia stepped out of the carriage with her robes sweeping around her feet. She left behind her a carriage of awed Slytherins, with good reason. They had never seen her get angry or snap at someone before. Antlia had always sat and smiled, agreeing with what everyone said. Flint certainly hadn't been expecting that reactions

Antlia was regretting her actions by the time she had made it to the Great Hall. She knew that her weekly letter from her father would include a question about Sirius and their relationship. It had never gone any farther than a crush, but she didn't know what Flint was going to tell his father, who would, in turn, tell hers. She dreaded the arrival of that letter.

Antlia took a seat at the Slytherin table. She was one of the few in the room, with only a couple of other students populating the other tables. She took a few calming breaths, her chest heaving up and down as she brought back the calm facade. It settled over her like a warm blanket so that by the time the rest of the Slytherin students filed in through the doors, a smile was present on her face.

Sirius noticed that she was sitting by herself before the rest of the Slytherin students came in, but his friends pulled him away before he could go talk to her. Sirius joined in on their laughter, glancing one more time over at Lia before siting at the Gryffindor table.

When her friends sat around her, Antlia greeted them calmly. No one, not even Flint, brought up what had happened in the carriage. It was if it had never happened, though Antlia knew that it was going in the letters that her peers wrote to their Death Eater parents. And she would have to deal with the conversation of her actions.

Antlia watched the Sorting, cheering when new students were sorted into Slytherin. How many of them are only sorted into this house because they asked so they aren't disowned? How many of them were actually sorted into Slytherin for a reason? Antlia wouldn't wish her life upon anybody. Everyone thought that her life was perfect. They thought that she loved her house and couldn't wait to become sworn into service for the Dark Lord. The reality couldn't be farther from the truth. Antlia hated the thought of being a Death Eater. She never wanted that. Her mother didn't want it for her either.

Antlia watched the Sorting finish before switching her gaze to Professor Dumbledore. The Headmaster was standing up and preparing to give his before dinner speech.
"Students, as some of you may know, the world outside of Hogwarts is beginning to become dangerous. Voldemort, or as some of you might know him, Lord," The entirety of the Great Hall's gaze looked over at the Slytherin table. Antlia could feel Sirius' eyes burning into her back. "Has been recruiting people to his cause. I promise you, my students, that no harm shall come to you while you are at Hogwarts. And now, let's eat!" Dumbledore clapped and plates of food magically appeared on all of the house tables, including the staff table.

Dumbledore's words left a feeling of unease over the crowd in the Great Hall. Antlia watched as her friends scoffed at Dumbledore, mimicking him as they dug into their dinner. Antlia watched them in silence, choosing to eat. She could still feel the burning gaze of Sirius. The feeling tingled down her back and up her spine, making her shiver. When Sirius finally pulled his eyes away, Lia looked over at him. She watched as he laughed with his friends, wishing she could be laughing with him. Being with him.

Antlia Avery was still in love with Sirius Black. He would just never know it.

Author's Note:
First of all, you all need to find yourselves an friend like Bre (beaconforks) who will make you feel great about your writing. Thanks Bre!
Second of all, I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter of Until We Go Down. I'm very excited to be writing this! If you have any comments or constructive criticism, please be sure to leave them below! I would love them! This is very different from Butterflies, which is the other fic that I am writing. Butterflies is a lot happier, but I hope that you still enjoy Until We Go Down. Thank you for reading!

- Nicole