OOOOOO MAGICCCCC

There is no time because this exists out of time and space :)))

Basically the goal is to make myself so sleep deprived that it's basically a psychedelic experience just reading this. At least I'll probably have one while writing this asflash;d;fjhaha, I have the perfect playlist for it asfksfhkjd

Enjoy! :)

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Jack sees stars.

Literally. 

He turns slowly, and all around him he sees white stars amidst a purple black drop, with the occasional rainbow colors of some dust cloud that looks like it came straight from a Hubble photograph.

Jack looks down at his feet. It looks like he is standing on dark water.

I must be dead.

Jack looks up again. "Uh, hello?"

His voice echoes.

Hello? Hello? Hello?

He swallows. "Am I dead?"

Am I dead?

Am I dead?

Am I dead?

"No, you aren't. Not yet, at least."

He whips around to find a beautiful angel descending closer to him.

All he can do is stare.

She stands on the water, smiling reassuringly at him.

"Uhhhh..." Jack's mind is lagging. "Um, where am I, madam? And who-"

"I am not a madam, nor am I a sir," this being tells him. "I am something in between."

"Oh." He backtracks. "M'pologies..." he can't think of a gender neutral term for sir or ma'am. "Uh, sma'am."

His face heats up. "Shoot-uhhh I mean...your majesty??"

They just smile at him. "It's okay. You got knocked unconscious. It's okay for you not to be in your right mind. And honestly? I just find it endearing to see you trying."

"Oh yeah...unconscious..." he remembers feeling the big ouchie when he got hit by the car. "Wait..." his brow furrows. "What's happening?" he looks at them. "Are you sure I'm not dead?"

"You are not dead," they reaffirm. "Of course, you did get badly injured, as your soul has been transported here. But it's okay. I can heal you mentally, and that should heal you at least a little physically."

"So...uh...where exactly is here?"

"Somewhere that exists outside of time and space," they answer. "You can't search for it. It's a safe space for the mind as a body fights its demons. It's a place for souls to recover...and for souls to learn."

"Okay," Jack responds, taking it in. "So...am I just here to recover? Or do I need to learn something too?"

They tilt their head. "What inexplicable thing has happened in your life, Jack? What irreversibly changed your life? What made it impossible to go back to your old way of living?"

Jack can only think of one thing. "Meeting the love of my life."

They shake their head. "Try again."

Jack's face heats up. No, they weren't reprimanding him, but it always stings to not get the answer right on the first try.

He smacks his forehead. "Of course. Traveling through time."

They smile. "There you go."

"So I need to learn something related to that?" Jack asks. They nod. "So...what do you have to do with it?"

"I am the guardian of this sanctuary," they answer. "I cannot control how xe affects those in time and space, but I can watch over those xe affects." They look at him. "I watched as you and your friends were scattered among time, going to exactly where you needed to go."

Jack's eyes widen. This is a lot to take in. Surely it can't be real. But...just like the rest of this nonsense...

...It's the only thing that makes sense.

"So this happened for a reason?" Jack asks.

"Yes. You all went to where you were supposed to."

"Okay, but...how did it happen?"

The Guardian shrugs helplessly. "I cannot explain it. This place...is alive. Not in the way that you understand being alive. Neither am I. And although time and space cannot affect the Soul Sanctuary, xe can affect time and space. Xe sees people in need, and xe does what xe can to help. It may seem to happen without reason or rhyme, but nothing in the world has ever happened without a reason or a rhyme."

Every few seconds Jack's mind is torn between thinking he's having the weirdest dream in his life and believing every single word.

"So...I went to 1990 to learn something. To be helped in some way."

"Yes."

"So...do you have an answer or do I need to think of it myself?"

"You must find the answer within."

"Was afraid you were gonna say that," Jack mutters.

The Guardian gestures around. "Take your time. You are in no rush."

"I thought you said time didn't exist here."

"It doesn't. I've just learned that there is a certain way to that I have to talk to people whose lives are controlled by time. All I'm trying to say is that the answer does not need to be fully formed right now. You can wait for it to develop. You don't leave until you come up with the answer, or until your body is ready."

Jack looks up at them, startled. "Wait, what-?"

"Have you started thinking yet?"

Jack swats his hands dismissively. "Okay, okay, I'm on it."

So much for "no rush."

He paces. His brain is jumping between trying to figure out why he was sent to 1990, figuring out how the heck time doesn't exist here, thinking about David, and making a list of things he wants to Google when he gets out of here, ranging from astral plane to Wile E Coyote compilation to circular breathing.

He realizes that none of that stuff is helping, so he tries his best to rid his mind of anything unrelated to why he was sent to 1990.

He paces some more. He thinks about how his life went in the 90s.

After a few minutes--but can he really call them minutes?--he stops.

A smile tugs at the Guardian's lips. "Have you an answer?"

Jack turns around. "I think so."

He gets an encouraging smile from them.

"When I went to 1990, I had a certain idea of what the next best step would be," he begins. "Escaping New York, heading to Santa Fe. But I didn't end up in Santa Fe. I ended up in Seattle. I learned how to handle myself in a situation that I had no control over. I learned that not everything will turn out like I expect it to, but if I can follow the path I'm given, I may be able to find my way.

"I met some amazing friends. They became like another family to me. I love them to death. I met people like me, people who understood me. I realized that people do care whether I stay or whether I go. I got an opportunity to leave, and I took it. They let me leave because they loved me enough to do so. And when I came back, they welcomed me with open arms.

"I gained a talent. I played music. It gave me direction after I wasn't selling papes anymore, you know? I got a taste of being a part of something that was welcoming, and let me know that I could find people similar to me all over."

He looks at the Guardian. "I think the most important lesson out of that is learning that I can find a family anywhere, right? I used to think that the newsies was the only family I'd get. But I realize now that you can make a family anywhere if you find the right people.

"And I've learned just how important people who understand you are, you know? People who love like me, think like me, have relations to gender like me. Both of my found families, the newsies and my band...they're all important.

"And it takes a community to live. I used to think that I could run off to Santa Fe without a support system and get by. Boy, how wrong I was. 1899, 1990, 2024...I've always been better off when I have others with me. People I consider friends, people I consider family, they're all important. Society tries to tell us that the strongest bonds are either romantic or between a parent and child, but that's not true. I never had a strong relation with my blood family, but because of the newsies I did have a family, you know? And I do have a romantic partner, I have my David, and I love him more than anything, but I still need those other people. And they still need me."

He glances at the Guardian, hoping he articulated that right. "Is that...is that right?"

The Guardian smiles. "Yes."

Jack lets out a sigh of relief. "That's good."

Suddenly, there's a little rumbling, like an earthquake.

Jack braces his arms for balance. "I thought you said this is a sanctuary."

"The only thing that can affect this place is one residing inside xem about to wake up," they answer, arms also out. When the rumbling slows, they look at him. "You are waking up."

"...Oh."

"I have one last thing to tell you," the Guardian says, voice already faded a little. "You and all your friends have a choice. Once you figure out why you got sent to your times, you have the choice to either go back to January 1, 1900, or stay in this time. Your ages will reset, and there's a strong chance that your memories will too. So I leave you with that knowledge, and one last thing to think about: what matters more to you? The things you lost, or the things you found?"

The rumbling increases.

"Well, nice meeting you at least," Jack blurts, unsure exactly how to say goodbye.

They smile. "A pleasure."

Jack smiles back.

And then feels like he is getting hit by a bus all over again.

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I actually more than lowkey liked that.

What did you think?!

I wrote this in like forty minutes.

I never need to go on drugs. I can make myself high just by being sleep deprived. And also I'm aided by toxic mold (we have toxic mold in our house, it's a problem, it should be getting fixed soon).

I've kinda been trying to play up the comedy of getting hit by a bus by drawing off the energy from the book Spin Me Right Round by David Valdes (yes the title is based off the song). It's very gay, 1000/10, definitely would recommend, all the protagonists/plucky heroes are people of color, the narration is awesome, and it's about a boy time travelling back to the eighties and every time he's asked where is it he comes from that's so open minded he's like "I'm from Connecticut". Very funny book. Never before has anythingmade me so happy for someone to get hit by a bus.

Also I don't know how many of you have watched Thai BLs, but I've kind of had the image in my head of this place being kind of similar to when Phaya wakes up in an ethereal space and is given information/warnings from a dragon in human form from the show The Sign. Definitely recommend it. It's gay, has reincarnation + soulmates, mystery, also dragons.

I think it should be noted that in my notes app the first idea for this chapter is just: someone gets hit by a train, probably Jack haha. I mean I kind of Regina George'd him instead of get hit by a train, but oh well. And yeah it just seemed like Jack would be the one to get hit haha.

I can't tell how spiritual/psychedelic this feels from the reader's standpoint, but as the sleep deprived writer at midnight:30 it's definitely both of those for me.

Also writing this chapter has made me realize how much time is ingrained into our vocabulary. When. Until. Now. Moments. Today. Ago. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Also past-present-future tenses. Maybe there's a language out there that can get by without describing time, but English is definitely not it haha.

So I finally give a sort of explanation for how this all happened.

And I want you to ponder the question too: what matters more? What you lost? Or what you found?

(^also sort of a Come From Away reference asfjahsdkjfahs)

Please, no homophobia or transphobia, profanities directed at other users, hate etc in the comment section at all times.

Best,

~Your Beloved Author (Who lowkey wants to get projected into the astral plane like this some time haha)