The day had started out cold and rainy, but thankfully for the football team, mother nature was over her PMS. I'm sitting in the bleachers with my friends, and like every school day football practice, we're all sitting in the stands to show Jordan our support.

Peter and I are huddled around a deck of cards, that JoAnna always keeps scattered at the bottom of her bag, and only uses when she's playing a game with her father and his friends. JoAnna and her father like to get together with his friends on the weekends to gamble, and once JoAnna had invited me and Kat over to play. I don't like the idea of stealing away money, so I never understood why JoAnna invited me, but dispite the gambling it's a memory I like.

Kat and Abby are sitting together off to my right, and like the cute couple they are, they're feeding each other sour gummy worms. Watching them always makes me envious because I know Garrett and I won't ever be a couple who feeds each other. Hell, I don't even know if we're still dating.

Megan is sitting above Peter and I, reading a book about music and nibbling on the cashews I brought. I think it's the first thing she's ate all day, and it worries me. We've tried to convince her she needs help, but every single time she gets so mad and leaves school for three days. We hate it, but eventually we had to let it go and only help in moments she's too distracted to notice; like now as she reads her book and eats the salty snack.

JoAnna is sitting three bleacher rows away, smoking and cheering like a mad woman. I suspect she's either drunk or really close, because beside her is a duck tapped water bottle hiding the contents inside. I also have my suspicions about Jordan, because every time he manages to get pass the opposing members of his team, he throws his hands up victoriously and disregards the coach's words of warning and runs off the field to kiss JoAnna.

I don't envy their love so much, it's too wild and reckless for my tastes, but I'm still happy for them even if they are slightly crazy.

My ideal love . . .

I have one of course, but I've never been in love longer enough to actually know. With Garrett I'm too shy to make any sort of advances, and he's too intimidating and his personality so dominanting I never know what to do. I mean, I think I'd like someone who's dominant for a boyfriend, but I'd also like to have power of my own. But with Garrett, I only ever feel like he's controlling me beneath his thumb; that I'm so small like a bug he could easily crush me. Before Garrett, I never had anything close to a relationship —- although I don't consider what Garrett and I have a relationship. I had little crushes, I guess one would call them, but I never acted on any of them so when Garrett had shown his interest and cared for me I was too happy and blinded to question why.

I feel like such a hopeless case, and I pray every day for someone good and . . . and then Christian came. I know now that I'm attracted to him, this whole day I haven't been able to get him out of my head —- from the cafeteria and my embarrassment for sniffing him and getting caught; to earlier on the stairwell when he gave me my paintbrush and said those words . . . But at the same time, there's Garrett and my inability to speak more than two words without stuttering like a pathetic fool. So with all of that, how can I ever manage to find out if Christian shares the same feelings as me?

And as I sit here surrounded in my thoughts, I don't notice Peter trying to get my attention until he snaps his fingers directly in front of my face. I gasp and jerk back with a startle as Peter rolls his eyes before saying, "Beau, we've been sitting here for three minutes and you haven't played a single card. What's wrong?"

Peter knows me so well . . .

I sigh and nervously rub the nape of my neck before unconvincingly, I mutter, "Um, n-nothing."

Damn, I stuttered.

Peter looks at me doubtfully, knowing that my stutter is a talltale lie depending on the situation. I sigh before muttering, "What do you want me to say . . .?"

Peter exhales heavily before replying, "I want you to tell me the truth, Beau. You've been acting weird all day. Is this about Garrett again?" Peter sighs. "I don't understand why you're still with him, he's an asshole Beau, and this whole time we've been sitting up here he hasn't once acknowledged you."

I bite my lip and immediately find myself defending Garrett when I say, "He's focusing on his practice. He can't say anything until after . . ." I mumble as I trail off.

Why did I defend him? I wonder. Peter's right —- he's always right —- I shouldn't be defending Garrett.

Peter rolls his eyes and retorts, "You're so full of shit. Jordan has been coming up here to kiss JoAnna every chance he gets, and what has Garrett done beside ignore you? Absolutely nothing! Beau, you need to start helping yourself, I don't like seeing you chasing after a guy who doesn't share your same feelings."

I can feel the threat of tears burning my eyes, and I quickly blink twice before muttering, "Please Peter, I feel bad as it is, I don't need you adding to it."

Peter sighs and mutters, "I care, Beau, you're like my brother."

I don't respond, instead I quickly wipe my eyes before carefully picking my way down the bleachers to JoAnna, who's too far away in her own world to ask questions and berate me. I spend the rest of the football practice silently watching, and I'm glad when it finally ends.

Word count: 1,007

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A/N: I'm officially 20 years old! Oh my god!

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Have an amazing day/night, and thank you so much for the 1K followers!

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BunnyBaekkiee ❤️