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NOTE:
I hope that you all enjoy this chapter and if so don't forget to vote, comment, and share because it would mean the absolute world. Also, constructive criticism is always welcomed.

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0 5 | Until There Was You

"I have nothing to say to you," Jude stated.

He clicked a button on his car keys and unlocked the door. His mind was clouded in this vicinity. An image of Seth touching her like he used to, loving her like he used to, holding her like he used to. His stomach sank. All he saw was a weak blur, and felt the bizarre-ness of his skin and the wetness of his sweat running down his neck and forehead. The world whizzed around him. He gazed at the sky's glistening tones to steady himself. When Jude attempted to open the door, avoiding her glossy gaze, he was stopped by her hand wrapped around his. It burned like fire, spreading everywhere, hurting everywhere. Especially his heart.

She looked up at him as if she were lost. As if she really missed him. His eyes were switching between her features nonstop as if he were afraid he'd forget them. It was like he could forget her and all she had done. The corners of his eyes started to burn and he wanted them to soak his face with his sweat. He wanted it to all fall as Beverly looked at him like he was the first guy she had ever seen. He would have given in. He would have dwindled and cracked all for her. Because he loved her. But then he jerked his hand out of her hold.

"Jude," she said softly and he glared at her intensely, seeing Seth's face in her eyes. "You don't know how sorry I am about this. I just...the guys and all, we miss you."

Her gaze lowered to one of her many bracelets and she started twisting at it, then meeting his eyes again. Jude was confused. His soul was a temporary entity to his body. Her words weren't true. Everything she had been saying was a lie. Just as she looked him in the eye and told him that nothing was going on between her and Seth.

"I don't believe you," he muttered. Then, he entered his car hastily. He refused to look at her through his window. He knew the face she was making; the same one from in the principal's office. The expression that was full of sympathy and sorrow and regret. He could have sworn he heard her whispering his name again, and again, and again. Pleading for him to listen and stay like he always had. He wanted to imagine it. He wished he did, but everything in his body said otherwise. He tried not to feel remorse. He tried not to flinch at his bluntness or the fact that he wasn't tender like he had always been with her. She deserved the coldness. So did Seth.

When he was off campus driving down those familiar roads, memories started to wade. The times where Seth, Beverly, Lincoln, and everyone else piled into Seth's truck Music blasted and laughing absently to inside jokes. Or the times where they'd leave school, visiting the pizzeria afterwards, squeezing into a booth, and stuffing their faces with crust stuffed pizza.

Finally, Jude was home. He parked his car in front of the house instead of the driveway. He allowed the radio to run while he lingered there. His eyes were framed on the nothingness that loitered ahead. His body hurt from the amount of reps he had done and his heart burned with  memories that seemed irrational. He stared at the emptiness until he couldn't anymore.  All until everything seemed to explode in his universe and nothing was left but the cold, cold darkness. Until he was the mere burden of the world.

Then, he cried.

For the first time, he cried. He placed his head against the steering wheel, letting those salty tears kiss his tainted lips. Ugly sobs flipped through his mouth and he ran several hands through his hair, pleading for an answer. What had he done wrong? Why was this happening to him? His eyes were electric, raining through thick clouds.

He realized the promise he broke to himself; he wouldn't cry. In a situation like his own, where the universe fucked him over, it was hard not to cry. It was hard not to want to reconstruct your entire life when you only had months of high school left. It was hard to move past all of this when it was so fresh and current. Everyone knew about the altercation, and somehow, he was blamed. In the gist of all things rational he was framed to be the bad guy. When in reality he was the one suffering. And nobody saw it. Not even his parents.

It wasn't estimated how long he sat in that car. He let it run, allowing the low hum of the radio to play. He was tired and miserable and exhausted. He knew if he went into the house it would be empty. He'd be alone like he usually was with no one to aid him in his saddening realizations. 

His eyelids fluttered closed. Then he rested his head against the headrest. His eyelashes kissed his skin, dancing in wetness. Slowly, he removed the key from the ignition and he tried to sleep because it was better. It was better than sleeping in an empty house that screamed loneliness. So, he did just that. He slept in the confines of his car. When he woke up Lincoln was slapping his palms on the window, frightening Jude and kick starting his mind.

"Lockhart, wake your ass up. The hell you doing in there?" he shouted behind the glass. "I've been calling you for an hour. I thought you killed yourself or some shit."

Jude finally gathered the strength to open the door, but it was all in a state of laziness.

"I wanted to be alone," he grumbled, eyes strained on the curb. Out of his peripheral vision he could see Lincoln's truck parked behind his vehicle.

"Not this shit again," Lincoln groaned, tugging Jude out the car. Jude fumbled purposely into the grass lying there with his lips in a thin line. "Wake the fuck up, man. She's just a girl. One in a billion and you're lying around letting her win. You're letting them fucking win. We don't have time for this shit."

Jude wanted to defend himself. It was more than that. Despite this, Jude tried his best to take Lincoln's advice into consideration. He stood up, going to collect his stuff from the car, then he stood there, waiting for Lincoln to add something. Anything. He needed a reason to go into his house.

"You good now?" He asked with scrunched eyebrows and a hand on Jude's shoulder.

"Yeah," Jude confirmed. Lincoln paused, leaning into Jude's face. He squinted his eyes, acknowledging the puffiness and the scarce redness that outlined his orbs.

"Were you—Were you crying?" He laughed.

"No," Jude said sternly with no emotion in his hard, cut tone. "My allergies were acting up."

"Don't worry I'm no snitch," he said with a grin, reassuring him that he'd keep his mouth shut. Jude didn't look at him or thank him because he wanted him to believe that he wasn't crying.

"So, video games?" He suggested as they started walking towards Jude's front door with Jude lugging his stuff on the opposing side. The last time he played video games in his basement was before everything occurred. During that time, it wasn't just Lincoln and him, but Beverly was there too and so was Bridget and Seth. This time, it was just Lincoln and Jude, and the screen blinking back in front of them with their vibrating game controllers.

"Do you think I'm going to get my position back?" Jude asked in the sunken bean bag chair.

"Hell no," Lincoln replied.

"Well, fuck," Jude blurted out, referring to the touchdown Lincoln's team just scored on the TV screen and the fact that his position was practically unattainable.

"Relax," Lincoln insisted. "Coach Bergamot isn't a moron. I bet my left kidney you're gonna get that spot back. No one else on the team has the balls to pick up your weight, Lockhart."

"That serious?" Jude questioned. A smile danced onto his face.

"Dead ass."

Then, "Do you know why she would have done it?"

"Who? Did what?" Lincoln asked, completely engrossed in the game.

"The whole situation with Beverly," Jude said.

"I don't know. Seth's dick is bigger," he shrugged, leaning into the screen. "He has more to offer her."

Jude contemplated for a minute, attempting to think of all the things Seth had and he didn't. Which was pretty much everything, but definitely not that. There was no way in hell--

Then, "Maybe it was always Seth."

"Could have been that too, but I doubt it," Lincoln added. "Dammit, What the fuck are you doing, Brady," he directed to the quarterback of his team. A fumble was released by Lincoln's team and Jude's team retrieved it. Then, Jude's team threw an interception and Jude paused the game annoyed.

"I don't want to play this anymore," Jude said sternly.

"What the fuck? That's unfair. You were winning the first half and now that I'm catching up you want to quit," he explained. "We're finishing this game. If you don't, you're a bitch."

Jude huffed out, starting the game. In the end, he won.

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Later that day, Jude's parents came home earlier than usual. At that time Jude was on the sofa, glaring at the ceiling with furrowed eyebrows. When the door flung open he shifted and sat up quickly. His eyes were flaming with hot stars and asteroids, crashing and flying. Not only were his parents visible, but Beverly and her family were too. What in the actual fuck.

"Jude get up and help me in the kitchen, we're having dinner with the Graysons," she announced, still dressed in her work attire. Jude watched Beverly as she watched him. Her parents were behind her smiling. Jude swallowed down anxiety, his Adam's apple shaking. She didn't tell her parents about the breakup, Jude thought.

"Judah!" his mom shouted from the other room.

He took his time to get up. Walking to the kitchen with his thoughts clouded and his body tense. Behind the closed doors, Jude found his mother, seasoning some roast beef. As if she already knew he was present, she spoke.

"You can cut up these carrots," she said, handing him two carrot sticks and a knife. He handled the carrots with fragility, cutting them with his gaze steadied.  When he glanced at his mother, she looked different. She actually looked like a mother, but most importantly there was something brighter about her. Jude found the moment viable to ask why she invited them in the first place.

"Mom, why did you invite them over?" He asked.

"Well, Judah, because this is your father and I's house and because she's your girlfriend."

Jude froze and cringed at the same time. They didn't know about their breakup. He wanted to open his mouth and object. If he said anything all hell would break loose, but most importantly, Jude wouldn't see the sight of his mother cooking again. Neither would his parents get that smile when he always mentioned Beverly. This wasn't about him anymore.

When he finished his task, he went upstairs, but found Beverly in his room, looking at a picture frame with the two of them. Jude rested against the door frame, admiring the way she looked so invested in the picture. She turned around and let out a little gasp. She cleared her throat.

"You didn't tell your parents about the breakup," she pointed out.

"Neither did you," he replied. "Which is basically cheating since you're dating Seth now."

"We're not dating. It's—" she took a long pause. "It's complicated but it's not like that, Jude."

Jude entered his room fully. He walked over to Beverly, who looked up at him with sincerity. Her hair had been curled now, bouncing and flouncing in different directions. She was wearing a polka dot dress and her headband had been in the area it always was.

"We can start over. Pretend it didn't happen. We could pretend like none of this happened. Just tell me everything will be okay," her voice shrunk at the end. He watched as she placed the picture back down, then she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him. Her head was pressed against his chest and he could have sworn she heard his heart skip. She still had the ability to do it.

He wanted to tell her everything would be okay. In truth, it wouldn't. They were far from okay and he couldn't just erase everything that happened. So, he stayed silent with his body stiffening and his mind remembering.

"Stop, Beverly. Please, just stop," he said weakly, looking straight ahead and not at her. "Stop fucking torturing me. You already broke my heart and I can't take it anymore."

Beverly pulled away, astounded by his thundering confession.

"I—" she froze momentarily. Then, "I didn't want to break your heart, Jude. I didn't mean to."

"And I wish I could believe you," he said, shaking his head.

"Jude, I have to tell you something," she admitted in an airless drench of words. Then, her phone began to vibrate and she decided to go into the bathroom. He watched her disappear and released a  heavy breath. He told himself that he couldn't stay here. It would hurt too much, reminding him of what used to be. He quietly snuck out the house with his phone and car keys, letting the breeze hit his skin.

He just needed some fresh air.

Jude engulfed it once, then twice. He started walking toward his car. Quickly, he unlocked the door, slid into the driver's seat, and roared the engine to life. Without a second glance he was off into the darkness, thoughts consumed by endless possibilities. He made two familiar turns out of his neighbor, driving for about four more minutes and eventually he ended up at the pizzeria. On the outside it read Antonio's pizzeria with blinking green letters intermingling in the night. The interior of the eerie building looked mostly empty except for about five or six people and Jude couldn't catch a glance because the windows were hardly translucent. When Jude entered the small public area, he wasn't exactly surprised in the least to see Waverly, eating a slice of pizza in the corner, her gaze focused on a laptop. She was lost in her own world. Alone and free.

In fact, he found himself walking in her direction, claiming the chair in front of her.

"What the fuck?" She jumped, nearly dropping her pizza. "You're stalking me now?"

"No. I didn't even know you came here."

"That's because I'm only here when you and your asshat friends aren't."

"They're not my friends," Jude defended harshly.

"Right," she agreed. Then,"You look like you want to say something else. Am I right?"

"I'm not," he muttered, watching as she grabbed her second slice of pizza and bit into it.

"Why are you here?"

"It's a public area."

"No dipshit, why are you sitting here?" She asked, rolling her eyes in aggravation. "There are a million other seats in here. Yet you sit here. with me"

"You're one to talk," Jude retorted and she smiled. After a tread of silence she spoke.

"You want to talk, don't you?"

Jude blinked at her.

"What's the story?" She asked, closing her laptop, leaning against her chair. Jude gulped, then averted his gaze.

"Oh, how could I forget, we're nearly strangers," She recalled, almost looking amused yet so serious. "You're not ready, are you?"

"No," he admitted. "I shouldn't have to talk about it."

"Who told you that?" She asked, making a weird face. "You're not gonna get over her unless you talk about it."

Jude shrugged and sat back in his chair. "What if I told you there's another way to get over her? An act of revenge per say."

How could he possibly have fun in a situation like the one he was drowning in. Jude forgot that she was unaware of the other problems he had. He thought about it. How he wanted them to hurt as much as he was. Angered as much as he was. A part of him felt like they deserved it, but the other part had been unsure of what she had in mind.

"Meet me at the local store tomorrow night," she demanded, standing up afterwards. She grabbed her computer and before she left she spoke. "See you around, stranger."

Then, she was gone. Jude's phone rung and his father's number flashed across the screen. He let it ring out, gazing at it until it disappeared. There was no way he was going back there. Especially when she was there too; waiting for him. But the only way he could show Beverly that he had moved on was to act as if it didn't bother him. He had to go with it. Even if he missed her when he wasn't supposed to. And no matter how hard he tried not to care he always did in the end.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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