Letter 18 of 20

Months later,
you once again broke up.
I once again hoped
I insist that I should stop.
I should stop hoping
that you would look at me.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of hoping.
I'm tired of waiting
for NONE.
I distanced myself
for my peace of mind.
You know what?
It wasn't easy.
I was like a door
but you do have the key.
I was like a tree.
I caged my feelings
but you've set them free.
I'm sure you've noticed
Since your cousin have asked.
But I don't want to play
anymore this game of chasing.
I'm tired of chasing
the person who was also
chasing someone.

I pretended to be happy
even though I'm not.
I pretended to be not affected
even though I am.
Eighteenth is for the 18 times
I pretended that I was okay
even though I am not.
Without knowing,
I still looked at you.
I still wanted to see your smile.
I know, I am fool.
But just let me be.
'cause after everything,
My feelings for you didn't fade.
It remained like the sun,
it sets but never gone.

-writeful_bunny