Notes: Sexual Content

Kye was pinned to the truck. She looked up at the large shadow in front of her. Its eyes, which resembled two blue flames, had haunted her dream for months. They glowed beautifully in the dark before dimming. Kye couldn't see the shade that she had missed so much, but under the bright moonlight, Michael's features were visible and even more striking in black and white.

The sparkles of his eyes spoke louder than any word. Anger, sorrow, worry... all wrapped up together, making her speechless. Kye never knew the archangel could show that many emotions through his eyes. Maybe she did and had forced herself to forget.

"Michael..." Her voice sounded foreign as if it came from someone else. Saying his name out loud for the first time after months apart sent a shockwave through her spine. Kye didn't know if it was good or painful.

"What did you say? Just now." Michael tilted his head.

"I didn't..."

"Not say." The archangel closed his eyes, searching for the right word. "What did you think? Repeat it."

"I don't remember." Kye dropped her eyes to the ground. His intense gaze made her want to cry.

"Stop lying. I've heard everything, and now you don't have the courage to say it again, Kye?"

His tone was as cold as ice, and then it changed. The way Michael said her name in the end, like an alluring taunt, made Kye unsure if she wanted to kiss or slap him. Either way, she dreamed of making it hurt despite knowing how physically impossible that was.

Kye closed her eyes, hoping her conflicting emotions would quiet down, but it was no good. Michael's presence was overwhelming. His scent was as clean and crisp as a snowy morning, filling her every cell. At the same time, the heat emitting from his body was almost unbearable. Michael's breaths constantly brushed her cheeks in slow and steady motions. In combination with being so close to his grace and how emotional she was, goosebumps spread uncontrollably all over her skin.

The hardest thing to ignore was the very atmosphere around them. The air seemed to warp and crackle with power. Either the archangel had done something to charge up his grace during the time they were apart, or his mood was very unstable at the moment.

Everything Kye had remembered and imagined about Michael was magnified by a thousandfold. She was afraid that she couldn't keep up the calm front much longer.

"Open your eyes and look at me, or I will pry them open. You know I will." Michael's hand on her neck was barely a phantom.

Kye used to find his touch comforting, but now it just burned like fire. She pressed herself a little harder against the truck, hoping to create some distance from Michael, but as she moved, so did he. Her back felt like it could break. Kye frowned at the increasing discomfort and slowly opened her eyes. It took a few minutes of mentally preparing before she could look the archangel in the eyes again.

"Let me go." She tried to keep her demand steady.

"Not until you repeat what you thought."

Michael's voice was monotonous, but Kye could detect a subtle playful note. It reminded her of before. He was a cat, and she was his half-dead meal. Kye was frustrated at her helplessness, but at the same time, the heat building up in the pit of her stomach made her slowly lose focus.

How close Michael was, his touch, his voice—everything about him pulled her like a powerful magnet, and no matter how hard she tried, Kye couldn't break free. Not that she really wanted to. It had been too long, but it felt like yesterday.

Kye had missed it. Every minute, every second.

"Michael, please..." She bit back her tears. "I just came here to apologize to you... Maybe, say goodbye properly. That's all. I didn't mean..."

"I don't need your apology." The archangel cut her off. "Although it's nice to hear that from you, an apology is not needed. Not now, not ever."

He backed up a little to look at her.

Kye immediately wanted his warmth back, but her heart skipped a beat. She didn't want to assume what Michael meant, but a sense of hope spread like wildfire in her chest.

After everything she had done, somehow, Michael still had it in him to forgive her? There was a chance they could pick up where they had left off?

Michael was studying her. His eyes traced from the top of her head down to her lips, slowly and meticulously, as if he were taking a mental record. He then stepped closer and touched her face for a second before dropping his hand as if it were burned.

Kye didn't mean to flinch and shift away from him. It just happened, but it wasn't something Michael expected. He frowned but tried again, this time, as gently as he could. He held her face in both hands like a delicate object and drew small circles on her lower lip with his thumb, all while humming a tune that Kye had never heard before.

Michael had never cared much for music or arts. He only studied them to kill time and understand more about humans. As well as Kye thought she knew the archangel, there were so many layers of him that never ceased to amaze her.

The humming coming from Michael was a bizarre combination of a melody and purrings deep in his throat. Kye couldn't tell if it was sad or happy, but her mind was captivated. She felt much calmer than before.

Michael looked as if he was about to fall into a dream with his eyes half closed, so Kye took the opportunity to observe him.

The moonlight wrapped the archangel in a bluish glow and softened his remarkable features. He looked ethereal and breathtaking, even more than Kye had remembered. He was the same yet different in some ways.

Kye's hair and t-shirt were dampened by the dews, but she didn't feel cold standing next to Michael. Every part of her was warm.

"Hold me," she blurted out.

Something came over her, and before Kye knew it, it was too late. She wanted to bite her tongue off for the demand. She didn't want to look up and see the annoyance, or worse, indifference in Michael's eyes. She remembered it well. Her stomach churned with anxiety.

Michael's hand stopped and moved from her lips to behind her ear. He combed through her fine brown hair and pulled her closer. Kye felt his lips on top of her head, her forehead, and then her lips. Each time, his movements were a little less controlled. Michael's arms wrapped around her like a protective blanket with the tingling sensation she knew all too well.

Kye hugged him back as tightly as she could, giving in to the kiss. She tried to anchor herself against the unreasonable fear that somehow, Michael would disappear into thin air as he had done in her countless dreams. She felt his warm chest under layers of clothes, and her whole being held on to it like a life float.

Kye eventually broke away and rested the back of her head on the truck's side. She sighed while touching the archangel's face. His rough stubble stung her palm when he leaned in and kissed it.

"If I don't know better, I would say you forgot to shave. You look rough," she chuckled.

He really didn't, but she couldn't think of anything better to say.

"You look beautiful," Michael replied simply. His eyes never left her.

Kye was caught by surprise, and then she felt bittersweet. Michael almost never gave compliments. There was no point for him to do that, and she knew she didn't look her best. Her hair was dry and tangled in a messy braid; her face was haggard; and her eyes were bloodshot due to the lack of sleep and all of the tears she had tried to hold back earlier. Somehow to Michael, she was still beautiful.

"You sweet talker." Kye smiled, but her eyes started to swell up. So much time was lost—time they could've spent together that was gone forever because of what she had done. She was still paying for it.

Every night before going to bed, when the world quieted down around her, Kye would spend a few minutes reminiscing. She would think of Michael. Just a few minutes were all she needed, she told herself, but sometimes her heart refused to listen.

Kye kept reminding herself not to think too hard before her thoughts became calls and prayers. Before they became a beacon for him. She didn't want to endanger the camp and its people. Even with all the wardings around, she had a feeling that if Michael really wanted to, he could locate her and come crashing in at any moment.

But most likely, he wouldn't. Right? He had come to some sort of agreement with the Resistance. Peace was fragile, and she was just a discarded pet that held no value to him.

Sometimes, however, it was hard to shake off the feeling that someone was in the room with her when she was completely alone. It was weird and pathetic, borderline crazy, but Kye could only blame her overgrown imagination.

Kye threw her unhappy memories to the back of her head and gazed at Michael. He would never know how empty she had felt, how big a chunk of her life had been missing when she was not with him. There was no point in telling him any of that.

Kye pulled Michael in by his suit lapel and kissed him with all she had. Her small body was crushed in his arms, and her lungs were out of air, but Kye didnt want to let go. If she died here tonight, so be it.

She felt like a floating island in the sea of stars. Nothing in the whole universe could stop or come in between them ever again. The oneness she shared with Michael right here and now trumped everything Kye had ever experienced in her life.

Michael, I love you. That was on my mind earlier, right now, and as long as I'll live. It's always been you. No one else. I don't remember when, but I know I have loved you for such a long time. I'm a coward for not admitting it sooner.

Kye opened her eyes and let the tears roll out freely. Somehow, through all the turbulence, her mind was clearer than ever. It formed a message and sent it to Michael. The look on his face told her that he didn't miss a single word.

Kye bit her lip and put her head down against his broad chest. The sound of Michael's fast-beating heart made her own race like a jackrabbit. She wanted him to say something, and she waited for a long time, but the archangel just put his chin on top of her head and stayed quiet. Finally, she heard him sigh.

"I don't know what to do with you, Kye..." His voice was impossibly deep. It echoed through his rib cage from right under Kye's ear to the rest of her body and shook her to the core. "I don't think you understand, Kye. Everything I have said and done up until this point should've already shown you how much you mean to me. You should not, even for a minute, doubt that. Anything you want to do, if you're ever in trouble or in a tough position, you should let me know. You can always count on me to be there. You should never go through dangers or difficult situations by yourself as you did. It showed that you didn't trust me, and it really upset me, more than the act of stealing itself."

Kye looked up and watched Michael take a few steps back while staring at her with a blank expression. At some angles, she could see the blue of his eyes, but for most parts, they were as dark as the ocean at night.

"I'm sorry," Kye spoke under her breath. She couldn't stand the archangel's searing look. Her chest weighed heavily with shame.

Suddenly, there was nothing but silence between them. Kye waited for Michael to say something, anything, but after a while, she nodded and straightened her back up. It was clear. Redemption wouldn't come easy. He didn't want her love, not now, and there was nothing she could do. The damage was done.

She didnt want to lie to Michael either. Not anymore. It would be an insult to the relationship they have. Or had. Her trust in him did have a limit. When it came down to Earth and Heaven, her kind and his, Kye was pretty sure which side Michael would choose. In the end, they were who they were, fundamentally different.

"It's good seeing you again, Michael. I should go..."

Kye turned to her truck door, which she had not locked, and found it mysteriously glued to the vehicle's body. No matter how much effort she put in to get it opened, it wouldn't budge. She glared back at the archangel with questions in her eyes.

"We're not done here." Michael snapped his finger, and Kye was right back to where she had been before, in front of him. Their noses were inches away from each other.

"I want to wait for the right time to come and see you, but you're here now."

Before Kye could open her mouth to say anything, Michael's lips pressed on hers with a punishing force. The desire was easy to tell, and his whole body showed her in the only way it knew how.

Oh, I miss you too.

Kye couldn't help but smile under his lips. His action wiped every thought in her mind away. Kye frantically pulled his suit jacket and dress shirt off his shoulders before lifting her t-shirt over her head. She couldn't wait to feel his skin with all its electrifying tingles on hers again. The pros and cons, good and bad of their situation would just have to wait another day.

Michael's lips trailed down Kye's neck while his right hand went under her bra. She moaned with its roughness on her skin and dug her hands deeper into his thick, dark brown hair, making a mess out of it. The archangel mimicked her action by pulling her hairband down and smoothing her tangled locks. The tuggings close to her scalp were strangely relaxing and arousing at the same time. Kye felt her whole body melt into his touches.

"How can I leave you if you keep doing this?" She sighed and slid her hands down Michael's back.

His blue eyes were glazed over with passion, but under that, true emotions showed.

"Then don't leave," he whispered.

***

Michael snapped his finger, and the last pieces of their clothes disappeared. They stood completely naked together, and the same satisfaction Michael got every time Kye gave him her undivided attention rushed over.

It was a superficial attraction, he knew, but he had accepted that. It was her human nature, and it was not necessarily a bad thing. This vessel was a part of him just as his wings or his grace. It was destined to be his from the very beginning, so this was him. Inside and out. Someday, when Kye was ready, Michael would show her his true form. Maybe she would learn to love it. Until then, whatever made her happy, he would gladly provide.

Kye had been the reason for a more tolerable, enjoyable even, stay on Earth. Michael felt alive, not just existed but truly lived for the first time. He had never liked Earth or humanity as a whole, but Kye was the exception he was happy he had made. Michael didn't want to go back to the days when he didn't feel a damn thing and just moved forward like a machine anymore. He had thought it was better that way, but Kye showed him that he was more than a weapon.

Michael cupped Kye's face with both his hands and savored her lips as if this was their first and last night together. The sounds of their hard breathings and collided wet lips, along with the occasional callings of nocturnal creatures and rustles of dry leaves broke the forest's silence.

***

Kye was startled when she tasted blood on Michael's lips. The cut was healed immediately, but she couldn't help but fall back into the dark abyss of guilt that had consumed her since the day they parted ways.

All I do is hurt him. He should not be with me. I'm no good for him.

She didn't want to believe it, of course, but it was hard not to when she had been telling herself this every day for the past eight months.

"I'm sorry, it's all my fault..." Kye inhaled and covered her face with both hands, trying her best to restrain her tears, but she failed miserably.

***

The archangel touched his lower lip while watching Kye falling apart in front of him. Even the bloodstain had gone, so why was she crying? It was hard to understand human emotions sometimes, but Heaven knew that he tried.

Michael sighed and pulled Kye's hands away from her face. She fought, but her strength was nothing compared to his. Michael locked both her hands in his and lifted her face. His eyes followed hers until Kye had no choice but to look into them.

"Why are you crying?" Michael asked. "Did you think I got hurt? You can't hurt me."

It was not a completely true statement. Michael felt it deep in his chest right now while watching Kye cry with absolutely nothing he could do to ease her pain.

Kye yanked her hands free and threw herself into his arms. Her tears dripped down his bare skin while her frail arms desperately clung to his body. It took all the breaths that Michael didn't know he possessed away and left behind a giant hole in his chest. He didn't know what else to do but wrap his arms around her as tightly as possible. All of his faces wanted to kiss her; all of his hands and claws wanted to touch her, hold on to her; all of his wings wanted to wrap her in a cocoon and never let go. Maybe she did feel their touches, that was why she shuddered.

Michael put his mortal face down in her brown hair and patiently listened.

The sniffling mumbles surprised and then frustrated him. How could she even think so? After everything he had said and done, how could she think he didn't need her or want her back? Or they should not be together? How did any of this make sense? Was she doing this on purpose to test him, or was she just blind?

Michael inhaled deeply and spoke in the calmest voice he could muster. "Kye, I'm gonna say this once and for all. I really hate to repeat myself, so listen carefully. You can't think like that. I want you back, more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I don't have any new companions. I don't need one. I have you. The only reason why I didn't come sooner is that I wanted to make sure Alastair and his men wouldn't come back for you. His motive was unclear as to why he wanted you, and there's a possibility that he might not be dead, so as much as I don't like it, you're safer where you are. The Resistance can protect you. For the moment, at least... It has been hard for me, too."

Since the supposed death of Alastair, the number of attacks on angels had tripled and was not limited to the south side of the city anymore. There was no hard evidence linking them to Alastair, but anyone with half a brain cell could see the connection. As much as Michael wanted to think he could protect one tiny human, he couldn't be with her 24/7. His attention split into many places. He couldn't deny that being next to him would put a huge target on Kye's back, and Michael couldn't imagine what he would do if Kye got hurt because of him in any way, shape, or form.

The Resistance had been extremely quiet in the past few months. Besides the quibble he had with Bobby Singer, which was unavoidable, there had been no sabotage, personnel kidnapping, or even supplies stealing. Michael disliked that organization for obvious reasons, but Bobby Singer had a reputation. He prioritized people whom he considered his. That included Kye now. From the conversations they had, Michael knew that as long as Kye stayed at the camp, she would be protected. There were no better options now when she was already there.

"I want to go back with you... I don't care if it's not safe."

Michael's thoughts were cut short by Kye's sniffle. He lifted her by the under of her thighs and pressed her against the truck.

"But I do," he said. "And so should you. There are ways they can get to me that are worse than death."

The sudden contact with the truck's cold surface made Kye jump. She had no choice but to wrap both her arms and legs around Michael. The familiar, amazing feel of his body welcomed her and made her sigh in contentment.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Losing you."

Michael thrust into her. His action was unexpected, but Kye had been ready. Desire pools in her lower abdomen, between her legs, and drips down her thighs. She gasped at the sensation she had not felt for a while. So did Michael.

***

The archangel suddenly felt a strong urge to abandon his vessel and seep into Kye. He wanted to truly be one with her, even more than usual, just for a second before his unwarranted possession could create damage. As he put his palm on her forehead, Kye's eyes flashed open, and her body tensed up. She pushed on Michael's shoulders and struggled to get off him.

"No! No! Please...!"

The plead cut the archangel deeper than anything he knew, seeing how panicked Kye was. She was scarred because of his past actions at the exchange. Michael squeezed her legs. He didn't want her to leave or get hurt trying to run away from him.

"Please, Kye, don't be scared... Stay with me... I promise nothing will happen to you when I'm here. I will never leave you ever again."

He held her very still, inhaled and exhaled until Kye stopped struggling, and her breathing matched his.

"Trust me." Michael slowly channeled his grace into her. "I will never leave you."

***

Kye whimpered as vivid images and sensations from Michael's memory poured into her like a waterfall, more because of her own fear than any actual discomfort. She knew how powerful Michael was, and she was completely at his mercy.

Her mind was occupied by Michael. She experienced his every sense, feeling, and thought on top of her own. They were inside, outside, and all around her. It felt all too much for a moment, but nothing bad. His Enochian voice filled her head like a harmony of many voices and sounds, all singing and talking at the same time. It was beyond beauty, love, and intimacy that a human mind could comprehend. Euphoria captured Kye's every nerve end and left behind a long-lasting haze. She felt it like a downpour on her parched soul.

If this was a small taste of what it feels like to be fully connected to Michael, Kye wouldn't wish for anything else.

The glow from his palm spread to her whole body and lit up the vast area around them as bright as day for fifteen minutes before dimming.

Everything, once again, was blanketed in darkness. The starry sky above seemed to swirl while they got lost in each other. Kye closed her eyes, feeling the lines and ridges that she had known so well on Michael's broad back. She moved her hands up and down, imagining where his three pairs of wings came out of. They never materialized for her to see, only appeared as large shadows, but they must be as beautiful and glorious as the sun. She couldn't imagine anything less from Michael.

"I'll show them to you someday," the archangel spoke softly into her ear.

"Promise?"

Kye turned to look at him. His eyes were half-closed, but she could see the fire that she rarely saw in them.

Michael nodded while breathing shakingly against her neck, "I promise."

He finally shut his eyes and slowed down the pace. Each stroke went deeper as if to make Kye feel every inch of him, claiming her as his.

"I love you." His lips brushed her ear with each word. Goosebumps rose on her skin, and Kye couldn't hold back a cry. The weight of Michael's words hit like a metric ton and made her lose all self-control. This was it, the simple confession that she had been waiting for. Years in, and Michael had a way of making her feel loved and protected, but Kye thought she would never hear these words from him. It was out of his nature, but here they were.

The archangel turned his confession into a series of nibbles and kisses, and he didn't stop until his lips reached hers. Kye slightly opened her mouth and let him in. Every part of her trembled. She cried out his name in her mind, over and over again, the way she had wanted to but never could. The memories of him had been the absolute curse and salvation in those lonely nights.

Kye dug her nails into Michael's shoulders and raked them down as hard as she could. Everything in this moment was a little too much to bear. It overpowered her every sense and left her wrecked with the devastating thought of losing him again. She needed to leave marks on him, something to show that he was hers, even just for a second. It was a twisted way to let the archangel know how much she needed him.

Ten long, angry marks disappeared as soon as they showed on Michael's back. Kye did it until her hands were tired. Michael never once complained. His muscles twitched when the nails hit, but he just continued as if nothing had happened. Michael might feel none of it, but Kye believed he allowed her to take it out on his vessel because he understood.

"Why did you let me do that? Why do you keep letting me hurt you? How can you forgive me and love me after what I've done?" Kye cried while trying to catch her breath.

The archangel removed his face from the base of her neck and gazed deeply into her eyes. "Because you mean more than anything to me. My grace, vessel, and power, I can give them all up for you. I would die for you if I could, but I much prefer we live for each other. There are many worlds I want to go to, many things I want to do, but they will mean nothing if you are not with me, Kye. I refuse to be without you again, so until the end of time, until everything turns to dust and restarts, you are mine, just as I am yours."

***

The night was late, with cold dews falling on every blade of grass. Thick layers of leaves and intertwined branches covered the truck from above. The giant firs had been here for centuries, untouched by the violence of nature and humans, proudly reaching for the Milky Way.

"Where is Heaven?" Kye asked with her head on Michael's shoulder.

They huddled together in the truck bed under an old wool blanket Kye had retrieved from the truck. Michael never felt hot or cold, but he liked to mimic Kye and be as close to her as possible. He rubbed his face on her soft, messy brown hair and squeezed her little hand. She always asked him that question when they watched the stars together, and he always answered truthfully.

"Heaven is everywhere. Humans imagine that it is above Earth, but it is, in fact, a different dimension. It is closer than you think, but you won't be able to see or feel any of it. Not yet. Until your time comes."

He turned his face down. All he could see was Kye's forehead and little pointy nose. She was quiet and breathing slowly. Michael chuckled faintly and put a kiss on top of her head.

Her shoulders were exposed under the shimmering moonlight. They were icy cold, so the archangel put his free hand on her left side and used his power to warm her up. He found it funny and no less ironic that something so out of this world, which burned and destroyed megacities within minutes, was now used to warm up this tiny person. However, Michael fully knew that this tiny person was more important to him than anything that had ever existed. In this world, or any other. She lived permanently in his heart and truly belonged to him.

"What's happened to the angels you took from Alastair's facility?" Kye's sudden question broke the fragile moment.

Michael looked at her face. Her eyes were still closed, but her voice was without a hint of sleepiness. She was demanding an answer from him.

"Nothing's happened to them." Michael dropped his hand from her shoulder and leaned back on the rear windshield. "They're not punished in any way if that's what you want to know. As I told Bobby Singer, they can go back there, just not right now."

"Why not?" Kye rubbed her eyes and turned to face him.

"Their graces are almost depleted. Whatever Alastair did to them drained their life source so badly that they would die if not healed properly. The Resistance doesn't have the resources and knowledge to do that, so they have to stay with the garrison until they completely recover." Michael stared into the night. His mind wandered back to that day...