Gale and I sit on the couch that night doing nothing. But it's perfect just like that. He holds me against his muscular frame with his chin resting on top of my head as we stare out the window. My mind is blank, my eyes scanning over each identical Victor's Village house. It feels so good to have his arms protectively wrapped around me, hearing the steady beat of his heart reassuring me that this is all real. Things can really be this relaxed and picture perfect. Suddenly, Gale's voice startles me. I lean my head back to meet his eyes.

"I love you," he says bluntly. I giggle slightly at this and replace my head on his chest. I tell him the same and feel a gentle kiss against my forehead.

"So how's this wedding gonna go?" I ask, smiling at the thought.

"Well I don't know, I was thinking we could have a toasting. I don't want all that fancy Capitol stuff added," he replies. I nod my head in agreement, glad he feels this way. "But I had to get you this ring," Gale smirks.

I hold up my hand, presenting the beauty. I know it's not really needed, and he does too, but the thing is hard to resist. Silver diamonds circling it all around and gold diamonds pecked here and there on it. As I'm admiring the ring, Gale catches me by surprise. He takes the hand with the ring that I'm holding in the air and brings it to his lips, kissing the top of it and then all my fingertips. It's just a hand, but his lips are so delicate that it still sends tingles all throughout my insides.

"Katniss," he moans childishly, like a kid wanting something. He's still holding my hand near his lips and I can feel his breath gently prodding it.

"Yes?" I coo, mesmerized. He leans my hand against his cheek and closes his eyes. I can feel him press into my hand, snuggling his cheek comfortably into my palm. I know by a gut feeling that he wants something and it isn't good, but I don't care. I want this moment to last forever. That's when I realize my eyes are closed and I'm smiling carelessly.

"Can we have . . ." His voice trails off. His cheek continues to press more and more into my palm until he lifts it to kiss my wrist. It doesn't stop there. He kisses all the way up my arm, past my shoulder, and onto my neck.

"Have what?" I moan as he continues to plant kisses around my face. Our lips finally meet and I cup his face in my hands, not worrying about his question anymore. He removes the tie holding my braid together so he could run his fingers through my hair. He starts to kiss me more heatedly with unusual aggressiveness. That's when I put it all together and realize what he was going to ask. I jerk away immediately.

"No!" I say firmly. "I don't know if you were, just . . . I want to clear it up. I don't want kids. Ever," I reassure him.

He looks pained, disappointment weighing him down to a crestfallen face. I want to take it back, tell him that I'm not trying to be mean, I just don't want kids. Instead of bursting with anger, Gale only tucks a loose strand of hair falling in front of my face behind my ear and smiles hollowly.

"Why not?" he questions quietly, narrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "There isn't any reason not to. You'll be nineteen soon enough and then I'll be twenty-one . . ."

"That's still young," I argue. He pokes out his lower lip.

"But we're having a toasting, doesn't that count at all? Katniss, I love you so much. And I've just been thinking about how I never really got to imagine having kids cause of all we went through. I didn't want to have them. But now there's nothing holding us back."

I begin to chew on my nails, pressure clinging to me. I shake my head no as Gale pulls my fingers away from my mouth.

"I'll consider it when I'm twenty," I reply. For some stupid reason, I become sensitive and tears form in my eyes. One trickles down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly, but Gale notices.

"Katniss," he whispers and embraces me warmly. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"You didn't. I'm just scared because I don't want something to happen. Like if the games come back, I wouldn't want to put my kid through that."

Gale sighs and hugs me tighter.

"Me neither, but we can't just dwell on that. We have to move forward and not let that little possibility scare us. But it's okay, I'm not going to force you into anything. I'll wait as long as you need."

I feel relieved slightly by this, but a bit of guilt still nips at me. He's done so much for me in the past and I can't do him this one favor in return. But, I'd rather want a kid as much as he does before we have one. It's a big deal, not something to toy with. And we'll need to make sure that both of us are ready. I know we've fixed each other a lot, but I'm still not prepared to have a kid. Not only am I scared because the world might screw it up, but I'm also cautious about it because my mind is still not completely stable. When we hunt, I see flashbacks and nightmares are still every other night. I see Prim and Rue and other people in what seems like everything. And I know I wouldn't want to be reminded of a horrible death every time I look at my kid. I need to learn how to fight these mental blocks that force me to immediately see one thing in something that might even be something totally opposite before I can have a kid . . . And that's just one thing I'll have to fix.

I sit up and wipe my eyes, ridding them of all the tears creeping into the corners. I feel Gale's arms wrap around my waist from behind and he rests his chin on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, okay? I understand."

Thoughts of Prim are now swirling in my mind. I remove Gale's arms from my waist and stand up, leaving him looking hurt, but worried more than anything. Now, thinking about my kid reminding me of Prim has triggered the memories of her, dead lying on the ground, defeated by the bomb. As this image swarms my mind along with many others flooding me, I cover my ears. Something is happening that's never happened before. I hear voices in the back of my head persuading me that Prim's death is completely Gale's fault.

I hear Gale faintly asking me if I'm okay, but the voices continue. Covering my ears is useless. It seems to trap them more in my mind as they echo, growing louder and louder. My eyes are bulging, my head throbbing. Gale stands up and grabs my wrist as he begins to move my hands away from my ears, but these voices are winning. I push Gale forcefully backward onto the couch.

"I want to be alone! You . . . You . . . You killed her!"

I don't have time to see his expression because I run upstairs and lock myself in my room. I sink down onto the carpet, covering my ears as I put more pressure on them in hopes that the voices will be inaudible if I do this.

He did it, he killed her, the voices hiss at me. It's all his fault.

I know deep down this isn't true. He only made the bombs, but he wasn't responsible for when they were used, where they were used, or who they were used on. I still have this thought in the back of my mind that the fact he made them to kill is unacceptable, but I've always been able to remind myself that it's the enemy he'd pictured them being used on. Now however, the voices are too convincing. I can't tell myself anything that will reassure me he isn't responsible for Prim's death because the voices fail to cease. And so they continue to taunt me, leading me to think that Gale is evil. I don't know how to fight these voices, they're brand new and I wonder if this is what Peeta hears when he has episodes. I'm not hijacked like he is. It's more like Annie who isn't hijacked and does this same thing because of memories. I'm simply crazy.

As the voices finally start to fade, I hear the smooth sound of something sliding down the door from the other side until I hear a small thud. Then, I see fingers slip under the crack at the bottom of the door. I sniffle and brush away the tears still streaming down my face as my sobs come to an end.

"Gale?" I choke out quietly. For a brief moment there's silence. It's probably because he doesn't want to say something and sound at all harsh, angry, or mean. He doesn't want to trigger what happened again.

"I'm here," Gale assures me.

I cautiously put my fingers overtop of his and hear him let out a deep sigh of relief. I lean my head against the door, feeling terrible for what I said. There's nothing I can do or say that'll make up for this. I just try to hold on to the warm feeling of his fingers against mine and forget what had previously taken place. Finally, I stand up and unlock the door. I open the door and Gale is still sitting with his back facing me. He turns his head and smiles cautiously. I watch as he rises to his feet and I immediately tackle him in an embrace. More sobs escape from the back of my throat as I bury my head in the crook of his neck. He'd just proposed to me today and already this is happening. I couldn't feel worse.

"Shhh," he hushes me. "It's okay, it happens," he strokes my hair repetitively until he lifts me into the air while pulling my legs around his waist. With my head on his shoulder, he walks downstairs and out the door to the warm spring air. He sits on a fancy chair on our porch with precise printed flower designs decorating it. It feels good to be wrapped in the freedom of outdoors instead of feeling trapped inside the fancy Victor's Village house that I still can't seem to get used to. So, in this comfort I fall asleep with the last image in my mind being the ring on my finger. However, this good picture being in mind as I fall asleep doesn't stop the nightmares from appearing as usual.

I'm in the arena. I've been brought back to when Rue was screaming for me to help her. I run as fast as I can although it doesn't feel quick enough. My legs trembling so much that it's hard to run and I feel as if I'm going to pass out with fear. When I finally get there, I cut the net open with shaky hands and pull her out. Just when I'm about to embrace her, she transforms into Prim. Instinctively, I stand there shocked, trying to figure out how this is possible. That's when a spear flies throughout the air and Gale comes out of nowhere, jumping in front of Prim before the spear can hit her. So instead, it shoots straight into Gale's stomach. I whimper and am immediately choked up at what just happened. I turn around, connecting eyes with Marvel- the killer before I hastily load my bow and let the arrow fly directly into his neck.

When I look back towards Gale helplessly lying on the ground I see Prim doctoring him worriedly. She slowly removes the spear causing Gale to groan painfully. Then, she places her jacket over the wound even though it's useless. I snap out of my disbelief and am by Gale's side instantly. He turns his attention towards me when I place his head on my lap and a tear falls from my cheek onto his. His breathing is slowing and becomes raspier by the second. I know I don't have much time left, but I'm speechless. He reaches up his hand and wipes aways a tear. Finally, I find the correct words.

"Thank you," I say croakily. His life is coming to an end for Prim. Because he was protecting her. That's all he ever did is protect her and everyone else he was able to protect. An empty smile flickers across his face briefly and he uses his last breath to say,

"I love you."

Then, the cannon signaling his death sounds, but it's not just an ordinary cannon. It's also a bomb that explodes right on Prim. I see what I'd seen the day she actually died. Flames and ashes and burnt skin and burnt blond hair in two braids. The tears are all too familiar as I crawl over to her lifeless body, half of it in ashes and flames. Of course I'm not dead. I never die. Maybe the odds are just in my favor, but I hate that. It should be me dead. Not Rue, Gale, Prim, or even Marvel. I should be speared, burnt, or shot with an arrow. But no matter what, I continue to live and breathe the same toxic air. And I don't have to be dead to know that death would be much better than life while suffering my loss and loneliness. Looking back at Gale, more crying smashes me like a wave crashing on the shore. He's my best friend. I love him.

Suddenly, the scene shifts. First, I see myself with Peeta in the second arena and I see the memory of him saying I'm going to be a great mother someday. Then, time fast forwards to this past night. The way Gale kissed me and how he sort of mentioned having kids and I turned him down. I come to know now that this is a nightmare, or maybe a dream now, I'm not sure. But then, the scene shifts one last time to Gale lifeless with the wound the spear gave him, but he's lying on our bed in our Victor's Village home instead of the arena. This time, white roses are surrounding him and the smell of blood lingers in the air. My mind races as I start regretting everything I'd done wrong to Gale. One thing seems to stick in my mind.

All he wanted was kids, Katniss . . .

He wanted was kids Katniss . . .

Wanted was kids Katniss . . .

Was kids Katniss . . .

Kids Katniss . . .

Katniss . . .

"Katniss! Katniss, honey, wake up! It's just a nightmare!" Gale practically shouts, shaking me with a panicky tone of voice.

My eyes burst open and I shoot up into a sitting position screaming uncontrollably. I feel Gale's muscular arms wrap around me, his large biceps prodding my sides a he does. Like always, I'm pulled into his lap as he rocks me back and forth soothingly in our bed.

"You were mumbling and shouting and flinching in your sleep, occasionally screaming. I couldn't wake you up for the longest time and it scared me half to death!" he exclaims with bulging eyes. It isn't daylight yet, just the middle of the night when I usually have nightmares.

"Well it's okay. I'm awake now, aren't I?" I assure him quietly. He nods. I've calmed down already at the steady pace he's rocking me. I realize that Gale seems to be more frightened than I am.

While still holding me in his arms bridal style, he walks downstairs and turns the corner into our kitchen. After flickering on the light, he carefully sits me down on the marbles stone countertop and then opens up the kitchen cupboard. He grabs a cup and a few other materials and in no time he has made me a warm glass of tea with a drizzle of honey mixed in it. I take slow sips of it. I feel nauseous after that nightmare and think I might puke if I drink this any faster.

"Thank you," I mumble to Gale who I can't help but notice looks extremely pale. He never gets this worked up over my nightmares and so I know something else must've happened.

I set the glass of warm tea down and reach forward as I feel Gale's head. He's standing in front of me staring blankly at the ground until I do this and his eyes flicker up towards me. He isn't running a fever, so something is clearly wrong.

"Come here," I demand softly with open arms. He doesn't hesitate to fall right into them. His arms wrap around my waist and he lays his head on my lap. I run my fingers through his hair continuously and he finally lets go and begins to cry hysterically.

"I-I had a n-n-nightmare and when I woke up, I saw that y-you were having one too and then you wouldn't w-wake up. You k-kept screaming and it all just s-scared me," he stutters in between sobs. I feel good now because for once I can comfort him. Of course I'm terrible at it, but it's nice when he's usually the one comforting me.

"I know, I know. Look at me." Gale removes his head from my lap and stands up straight again with his arms still glued to my waist. "I don't know why last night was so bad, but I promise that it's going to be better tomorrow."

I hold up my hand, presenting the ring as I wave it in his face. I remind him that we just got engaged and we can start planning the toasting that we're going to have in a few months. He smiles lightly at this idea and I run my fingers through his hair and kiss his forehead.

"I'm sorry, I should be comforting you," he sighs. I immediately shake my head and deny this.

"No Gale, I never get to calm you down and it has to happen eventually. You aren't invincible. Nightmares are gonna happen."

I hop off the counter and entwine our fingers together. For the rest of the night we don't sleep. Instead we lye on the couch, Gale holding me like he did at the beginning of the night and we already start to plan our toasting. I can't help but think about my nightmare every time I get the chance. I remember how it ended. All he wanted was kids. Then, I think about how it flickered to a brief moment of Peeta saying I was going to be a great mother someday and Gale telling me he wanted kids earlier on that night. Was this like some sort of sign? For once, I actually consider the thought. Kids. They wouldn't be too bad. Of course they'll most likely remind me of somebody, but I have Gale to talk me through all those problems. Besides, maybe seeing someone I know who died through my kid wouldn't be such a bad thing. It would be like another piece of them I get to hold onto and see everyday. Suddenly, Gale asks me what I'm thinking about, I shake my head and tell him nothing. However, a couple weeks later when he asks,

"Katniss, I don't want to bring up anything bad and I'm still not going to push you into anything, but have you at least considered kids?"

My grey eyes flicker away at first nervously and I'm not sure if I should deny it. Then, all of the sudden I start speaking without warning.

"Yeah, I have," I nod. I see his face enlighten at this. It's dark outside and rain is pattering on the window. I begin to blush randomly. Gale and I are both just sitting across from each other looking down shyly. I begin to wonder if he has any idea what to say next, cause I sure don't.

"So . . ." He urges me, wanting badly to know my conclusion. I simply shrug and both of our grey eyes connect once again.

"I don't really know the answer to that yet. If we do though, I want it to be after the toasting. I'll at least be nineteen by then." Immediately, a wide smile grows on Gale's face.

"Well, keep considering then," he says. With that, he leans forward and gives me a brief goodnight kiss.

As we pull the covers up to our chin and Gale flickers off the lamp light, I smirk to myself. I'm almost positive I know my answer, I just need time to except it. I need to think it over and finalize it before telling Gale. Yes, I think we are going to have children. It's crazy how a couple weeks ago I was sure no was the answer. I just hope that nightmare led me in the right direction and not the wrong one. However, if this is what Gale wants then it must be the right decision. I trust him, knowing he isn't going to ever leave me or make a foolish decision. His best interest is mine, I tell myself, because he is mine.
_____________________________________________________________________

A/N

Hey guys! So, I just really wanted to ask you to please, please, please vote and comment on my story! I would really appreciate that and in return I'll read, comment, and vote for your stories if you have any....... Thanks!

And since I'm writing and author's note might as well say~

I don't own any of The Hunger Games books or characters, Suzanne Collins does :)