"Finnnn," I groan. I'm holding him and rocking him and shushing him, but nothing is working. My lack of patience makes me want to scream at him to shut up, but I can't do that and most likely it'd only make it worse. As soon as he's began to quiet down and I actually have a tiny moment to breathe, the phone rings and he cries louder all over again because of the sound.

Still trying to hold the screaming toddler while grabbing the phone, I reach what feels like ten miles to the coffee table, my shirt almost stretching up over my head as I do so. When I've finally grasped the phone in my trembling hands, I lean back on the couch and sigh loudly. When I answer, I don't do so politely. I answer with a harsh,

"What?"

For a moment there's silence and then I hear Gale's strong, deep voice on the other side of the phone.

"Katniss. What happened?"

Over Finn's screaming I can hardly hear him and have to cover the ear that isn't held against the phone. I begin to cry softly which only makes the toddler more upset. I can't handle this, I think to myself. I don't ever remember Prim getting this way as a baby and if she did I forgot how irritating and frustrating it was.

"I can't do it Gale. He took a fall outside and hardly got a scrape, but he's been screaming since. I don't know what to do."

It's like I can hear Gale's smirk from the other end of the phone. I find it annoying that he thinks my exasperation is amusing. I'd like to see him handle this. It's worse than I ever thought it'd be. But Gale, just simply, in a calm, but loud voice so that I can hear him asks if I bandaged it. I tell him no because it wasn't even bleeding which makes Gale laugh.

"Catnip. Take Finn to the bathroom and sit him on the toilet. Under the sink there should be a box of bandaids. Take one, look Finn in the eyes and ask if he wants a big boy bandage."

I wipe my tears and do as I'm told. I take the toddler and the phone to the bathroom. I set Finn on the toilet where he continues to cry. His little legs that dangle over the seat kick the air everywhere. I set the phone on the sink on speaker and grab a bandaid from underneath the sink. I then kneel and hold little Finn's toddler hands in my own.

"Listen to me," I say as calmly as possible. "I've got a big boy bandage right here that makes all the little big boys' boo boos like yours feel all better. Would you like one?"

He wipes his tears gently, his sobs softening a little into heavy breaths and silent tears as he nods his head.

I unwrap the bandage and gently place it over the peeled skin. I then notice Gale speaking in the phone and I ask him to repeat what he said.

"Now, go outside, hit the ground where he fell and say, 'don't you hurt my Finn ever again.' Little kids like that."

I laugh at this. I'd seen Gale do this before with Finn and begin to wonder why I didn't think of it, but as ridiculous as it feels, once I have done it the toddler is smiling and laughing asking me to do it over and over again until I finally tell him we need to go inside and eat lunch. I'd forgotten Gale was on the phone until I hear a,

"No, no, no." I halt. I'd forgotten in the moment that it'd been Gale who had called me first. "It's my lunch break and I wanted to take you and the monster out for lunch."

"Out?" I scoff. "Gale, don't worry about that-"

"No," he cuts me off, "I'd be more than happy to, be ready in 10."

I find myself scrambling to throw on me and Finn some decent clothes and I've just finished brushing my teeth when Gale shows up. I run up to him, almost toppling him in a hug. I thank him one million times for helping me earlier and even reward him with a short kiss. He smiles at this, but then rushes us all out the door, telling me he doesn't have much time before he has to get back to work.

I grab little Finn's hand and we all decide to just walk the short little distance to the bakery. When we get there, we greet Peeta as usual and then Gale orders us all cheese buns, my favorite. When we sit down with our food Gale tells me about his day so far while Finn amuses himself by gazing at all the cakes in amazement. When I'm done chatting with Gale, Finn decides to show off his "big boy bandage" and tell Gale about his day so far with me. And I have to say I was really sad when Gale had to go back to work because I was actually having a really good time with him and I realize I missed having him to myself at this time seven days out of the week instead of one. I almost begged him to stay when I was hugging him goodbye, but I knew I couldn't. He had to leave.

~

"Where's Gale?" a little tired and confused Finn asked that night as I was putting him down for bed. Gale wasn't home yet. I forced a smile.

"You'll see him in the morning," I reply with a soft sigh, brushing his light brown hair back out of his eyes and turning to leave the little room we had him in.

I knew it was probably one of the nights that happen every so often where Gale works late, though it still shakes me up a little each time it happens. I've learned not to ease my mind too comfortably considering the world we live in. For a while I stay up watching tv in the living room until my mind drifts off into other thoughts in my sleepy haze. I see the guards dragging Gale away in my mind and wonder what my life would be like if I'd shot him like he'd wanted me to. I shudder because I couldn't imagine that. Suddenly, I feel like I'm falling and it feels as if I've sunk into a bundle of feathers only to wake up in a meadow full of flowers that reach my knees in height.

My head feels like it's balancing a ton of bricks as I lift it off the muddy ground. I look around confused and realize my neck is sore. I stand on my feet, which unlike my head, feel weightless. Not that good kind though . . . the kind that you get when your nervous, or scared, or don't know where you're at. They're wobbly too, and for a moment I think I might plummet backwards onto the ground. That's when I stub my toe on something solid. I look down and see an arc shaped piece of metal sticking up from the tip of the flowers.

I kneel down and with one of my hands push some flowers onto the ground revealing a grave with lettering that consists of Gale's name carved on it. I have to grip it's side to keep myself from falling forward. I sit there in a pure state of shock. The only thing that beckons me to move is when all the flowers transform into a large crowd of people running and shrieking in terror. The few white flowers in the bunch turn into peacekeepers shooting at people without mercy and the colorful ones, Capitol people running and screaming for their lives. I recognize that I'm in the Capitol and what's happening immediately. And suddenly what was once a grave for Gale is now Gale himself who is being dragged away by peacekeepers. It's happened before. Except this time, I understand the two simple words and although I don't want to, I'd promised I would if this happened. So, I close my eyes, pull the trigger, and fall to the ground at the same time Gale's now lifeless body does in heartache, and defeat.

I begin rocking back and forth in the dirt. My eyes, although pinched shut, still mange to produce tears. They fall steadily down my cheeks and into my mouth that is opened wide, screams of agony emerging from it. I hardly notice the sudden silence, and the flowers once again surrounding me. I hardly notice that I am still gripping onto the grave. I hardly notice the person shaking me and calling my name,

"Katniss! Katniss! KATNISS!"

When I open my eyes, I'm still screaming. That is until I see him standing before me. I jolt up and my arms find their way around his neck. He lifts me up without hesitation and holds my trembling body in his strong, loving arms.

"Shh, I'm here now Catnip," Gale soothes me.

I want to scream at him for not being with me, but I need him after a nightmare like that more than anything. So I do nothing but squeeze him tighter as my sobs quickly soak the part of his shirt that covers his shoulder.

Finn must've come down the steps because I hear Gale telling him soothingly that everything is just fine. He tells little Finn to go back to bed and he'll be there in a bit.

Meanwhile, Gale carries me into the kitchen, my trembling legs wrapped around his sturdy waists. He sits me on the countertop gently, but I'm hesitant to let go of his neck. With a few calming words, I untangle myself from him while he makes me warm tea with honey. After he has handed it to me and I've thanked him I decide to let loose a little.

"Where the hell were you?" I snap, setting the warm cup of tea beside me with a thud. I sniffle and fold my arms across my chest.

"Work, Katniss." he answers and I scoff at his reply. I turn my head away from him.

"You know I can't stand that."

"And you know I can't help it," Gale
barks back at me. I dip my head down low.
"I don't do this cause I like it, I do it for you." he adds. I frown at this because he's right.

"Ok . . . I'm sorry, it's just that this happens every time and it scares the mess out of me."

"Well that makes two of us," Gale says with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I glare at him for a moment and he sighs. "You wanna talk about your nightmare?" he says in a softer tone. I think about this for a moment.

"No. I want sleep." I hop off the counter lightly and turn towards our room when suddenly two arms wrap around my waist to stop me.

"Katniss," he whispers in my ear. There's a long moment of silence before he continues. "What was it like?" My breath catches in my throat.

"My nightmare wasn't even about that, it was about you, but I don't wanna talk about it anyways," I reply angrily. I grab his wrists and pull his arms off of me.

"I don't care," he says quickly. "I could understand any nightmare about me, but what about the ones that aren't? I still wanna understand everything that I don't already, you know? Remember what we talked about last night?" he says softly. I remember suddenly how I'd cried after hardly talking for five minutes just about the reaping. I know I can't do that anymore without it ripping me apart inside. Suddenly, I can't take him any longer and I go off.

"Well I don't want you to understand anymore! It's too hard for me to talk about and you'll never get it anyways so just forget it!" I yell as quietly as possible as an attempt not to frighten Finn more than he already is.

Gale has tears stapled in his eyes now, but the way he clenches his jaw lets me know he's also angry.

"Fine!" he argues a little louder than I had been. "I'm sorry for trying to help, I guess I'll just leave you alone the next time you have a nightmare about the games! Cause you're right, I'll never get it anyways so I was stupid for trying to."

"Good!" I scream. Without a second thought, I bolt upstairs and into our room, locking the door behind me.

Moments later, I hear a door down the hall open followed by Gale soothing Finn with the voice he usually uses while calming me after a nightmare. I realize that I hadn't even given him the chance to do that with me tonight before I went off on him. I guess I was just tired of him not being with me as much as he used to which I knew wasn't his fault. Usually if my nightmare is about the war or anything before the games I'll tell him about it and he'll talk to me. Tonight I would've done that if I hadn't started that argument. However, when I have nightmares about the games, I'll hardly say anything at all and all he can do is rock me until I've gone back to sleep in his arms, or my sadness has drifted away. Sometimes it's so bad though that I just run to the woods because he doesn't understand and I just wanna be alone. All Gale wants is to be able to help me through every problem or nightmare I have. It kills him when he can't. Thinking about this makes me realize I was wrong.

A light knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. I solemnly walk to it and unlock it, slowly opening it. As soon as I see his tall figure standing before me I whirl around and walk back to our bed, plopping back in it. When it sinks down on the opposite side, I know Gale has laid down next to me. We're further apart than normal as usual when we argue.

I start to think hard about what I wanna say. My mind is racing along with my heart. Every memory floods back to me and I pinch my eyes shut, swallowing hard. I thought I'd never speak of it again, but here I am,

"The Hunger Games was the Capitol's way of 'playing' and the tributes were just the pieces in their game. All I ever was and still am is a piece in their game." I turn over to see Gale's shocked expression. I inhale a deep breath.

"I'll describe it to you, but I can guarantee you that you'll regret wanting to know when I'm done."