Nothing matters.
In the end it's just you.
Only you matter.

Xiao Zhan's POV:

Leaning back against my chair's head rest I roll the kink away from my neck. I read what I just wrote in my blog.

Only you matter.

Only you.

You.

Do I matter?

Placing my palm against my eyes I rub them vigorously when I feel my tummy grumble for food. Yawning, I walk towards the kitchen and open the refrigerator to find Mrs. James has neatly packed me some frozen food. Heating them in the microwave I wait for my coffee to brew.

Fresh smell of coffee can make my day so much better. The ding of the microwave indicates that my food is ready and with no patience to plate, I take a huge scoop from the container. Never realised I was so famished.

"Good Morning" I hear someone call and the voice takes me by surprise. I choke on my food and start coughing.

"Fuck" the voice curses and proceeds towards me and I gesture him to stand where he is. Quickly taking a sip of my coffee, I calm my beating heart and wheeze a little. Dabbing my tear filled eyes with the kitchen tissue roll, I take a deep breath and look at the guilt laden face of Officer Yibo.

"Good Morning" my voice is hoarse and I clear my voice.

"I am sorry Zhan, I did not mean to take you by surprise" and I shake my head "No. Don't. I am just not used to sharing my home with anyone. I just didn't expect someone to..." clearing my throat again I give him a small smile "Coffee?" I enquire and he gives me a small nod.

Pouring a cup I place it in front of him "Mrs. James, my housekeeper has wrapped some frozen food in the refrigerator. Please feel free to eat whatever you want. She has a fixed schedule. In a week, thrice she would come during the morning hours and thrice in the evening. If you or your boys have any preference please feel free to tell her." and he nods.

"You didn't sleep last night" he comments as he takes a sip of his coffee.

I look at him and that's when I realise taking in his attire, he went out for a morning jog. "Yeah, I don't sleep much" I take another bite "I have a gym right in this house. If you walk straight through the passage from the main hall the last room to your left is the gym and the room to your right is where the home theatre is" I take another bite and he looks at me with a strange expression.

"What?" I enquire and he sighs "the other day when we wanted to install the cameras, Jiang Cheng showed us around but said your Bedroom and office is off-limits" there is a tinch of concern in his voice and I look up.

"True. No one is allowed in my office" I take a sip of my coffee and he mirrors me.

"But I did come in last evening" he points out and I nod "Yes you did and let that be the last time you enter. I did not wish to sound rude but it's a space that I just can't share" I look pointedly at him and he acquiesces "Very well Zhan, I respect your space" as he said that, I visibly relax which he notices too.

I finish my breakfast and he downs his coffee as his cellphone beeps and he immediately answers it "Chief" he pauses and his eyes finds mine "Yes Chief".

This cannot be good.

"We'll be there" he's curt and respectful. He washes the empty cup and places it in the rack "You need to come to the precinct with me. My Chief of the Homicide Department has few questions he need to ask you".

"I thought I was no longer a suspect" I control the slight tremor in my hand.

"Yes you aren't but you were still present in the crime scene. It's a protocol. We will ask you few questions and then you can be free" he explains but all I can feel is the anxiety engulfing me.

Nausea. It's all coming back.

"Zhan" he calls my name "Zhan!" his command snaps me out of my fit "Don't worry, my boss is a kind man. You can trust him and trust me, I won't let anything bad happen to you" his words are assuring but it does very little to help me. "Do you want me to call Jiang Cheng or Dr. Wang Huan? Would you feel better if they were with us?" He enquires and I look back at him. Will them being there help? Yes it will! But they have their own lives and I can't expect them to be at my beck and call.

Damn.

"No it's fine. Let's do this" taking a deep breath I continue "I'll meet you in the main hall in an hours time" saying that I walk away.

I brought this on me. I had to be the one to finish the alone. I can't keep depending on people. Whatever has to happen, will happen.

"Chief, this is Mr. Xiao Zhan" Officer Yibo completes the formalities of introduction "Mr. Xiao Zhan this is our Chief of the Homicide Department, Ryan Gold". He raises his hand to shake mine and I stare at them.

Anxiety.

Don't touch me.

"Chief" Officer Yibo distracts by showing him some files and I let out the breath I was holding. Taking a seat opposite to his, Mr. Gold goes through the contents and his gaze pierces me "Mr. Xiao, what were you doing at the crime scene?".

It was not like I wasn't expecting this question. The problem was the answer. How do I answer him. The best way to approach was by not giving a direct one.

"Mr. Gold I have been clearly informed that I am not a suspect to this crime then why am I being questioned?" I can sense that my question takes him by suprise and he wasn't expecting this.

"Mr. Xiao, even though you're not a suspect but your presence there by its ownself is quite a theory. I would suggest that you co-operate with us. After all I am not placing my best officer for your fancy. His life is in line to protect you. So please keep your attitude to yourself and better answer my questions! Are we clear?" He raises his eyebrows and I need to admit, I applaud his guts.

"Mr. Gold you're belief tends to be more spiritual isn't it?" I don't answer him but put forth another question.

"Why do you ask Mr. Xiao?" He looks pissed and I care a damn.

"Indulge me, Mr. Gold" I smile and it's irritating him.

"Yes" his answer his curt and I nod "So you believe in a higher power. Powers that normally science cannot explain but it's existence cannot be denied" I challenge him and I can feel Officer Yibo's exasperation.

"Get to the point Mr. Xiao" he raises his voice when another young officer enters the room "Sir, we need you right away".

"I'll be back and you better explain in clear words" with that he slams the door and I smile but that does not last long. Darkness surrounds me and I realise what's happening. Time stops for me as I experience a premonition.

***
Mr. Gold walking to the holding area when a detainee escapes and raises his gun to shoot Mr. Gold.

Blood.

Too much blood.
***

"Zhan!" Officer Yibo calls my name and I run towards the door and yell "Call an ambulance. Quick" I sprint out of the room right in time to see the detainee escape the cuffs raise his gun and aim at Mr. Gold.

"Watch out" I push him and the bullet grazes against my arm and another sound of gunshot is heard. I watch the detainee colapse on the ground and I clutch my arms that's bleeding.

Blood.

"Mr. Xiao" I hear the concerned and yet shocked voice of Mr. Gold and as crouches near to inspect my wounds and I move away "Please don't touch me" it's a whisper but he could hear and he retracts his hands immediately "You... You saved me. How?" He looks pale and I grin "Mr. Gold at times there are things one cannot explain" I slowly stagger on my feet and Officer Yibo is by my side yet at a safe distance "I hope we can continue this another time?" I question and Mr. Gold instantly agrees.

Bowing I walk out of the precinct and Yibo drives us out of there "You need to get to the hospital" he states and I shake my head "Just get me home".

"But your arm?" He questions and I smile "doesn't matter" I close my eyes and the next when I open them, we're parking the car in the garage.

The elevator takes us to my penthouse "Let me call Dr. Wang. He'll stich you up. If you don't treat it quickly, it will scar" he's concerned and I turn to look at him squarely in his eyes "Would another scar on me matter?" He gasps and I quietly walk towards my bedroom. A second later there is a knock and he enters with a first aid box.

He shows me his gloves "I won't touch you. I am quite apt in stitching" he looks so earnest that I agree and true to his words, he doesn't touch me and within few minutes I am all patched up. "I am a souless monster Officer Yibo. Don't care too much for me" I warn him and placing a pill in a container he commands "Have them and sleep" with that he walks out.

I oblige and have the medicine. Under the comfort of  my room I sleep with a hope that atleast this once, I sleep peacefully.

(Kim Jae Wook as Chief of Homicide Ryan Gold)