(A/n: This chapter won't be an easy read as I would be touching on some serious issues. I would suggest don't skip this chapter as it forms the core of this book but know if you aren't comfortable, then kindly wait for the next update.)

Xiao Zhan's POV:

Walking into my dark office save for one lone dim light from above, I gesture him to take a seat on the couch. He looks so pensive and sceptical. I wonder how would he react if he knew certain truth about Ruan and me.

"Care to listen to a dark story, BoBo?" I smirk and knew this whole scenario is making him extremely uncomfortable but if he claims that 'I am his', then he needs to know me well.

"My story began the moment I turned 18. Like any other young hormonal teenager coming of age, I too wanted certain kinds of releases but trust me when I say that none of them were remotely sexual. I never craved for sexual intimacy. I never could even dream of someone touching me, but I had urges. I was in extreme pain BoBo" his eyes were on me as I rolled my sleeves up by elbow to show him scars on my wrist.

His eyes widens. He knew what they are. Self mutilation.

"Yes, you're thought process is on the right track. These scars are of self-harm. I knew they were bad. Your father who was my doctor back then knew I was self destructive and tried to counsel me multiple times" I chuckle sadly "it was me who never could comprehend those words. As I said maybe blame my young self."

Taking a seat opposite to him I continue "It was during these turbulent times that I met Ruan. I won't get into the details of how we met but I want you to understand  something of extreme importance. Ruan is a well-known Dominant who" I smile warmly "caters to various needs of people. The moment he met me, he knew what I needed.
Being a doctor by profession though his area of specialization is quite different, he knew human psychology well. He knew I myself was a Dominant personality and thus could never submit to another soul." Rolling my sleeves back I ask Yibo "Have you heard of Cognitive Behavior Therapy or as I would like to call 'Pain Therapy'?"

He shakes his head slowly and I nod. Understandable, not many would know these methods.

"Did you know that the sweet release of endorphins that one gets from sexual acts has same effects through pain therapy?"

"What do you mean?" He enquires and I explain further "Why does one fall in love Yibo? Why does one have sexual intimacy with another?"

"I believe it acts as a de-stress method if you don't involve the concept of love in it" he adds and I grin "Precisely. An act of sexual intimacy is like a detox to your body. It relives all kinds of stress. Now how would a person who hates physical contact de-stress themselves?"

"I don't know" his answer is direct and it warms my heart. He's truly innocent.

"Instead of sexually intimacy, I use pain therapy. Basically each time I use it, the same amount of endorphins release from my body and that centres me to stop me from self harm."

"What?" He is shocked and I knew it's time for me to show him my world.

"Follow me" I walk to another part of my office and standing before the door I turn to observe his stance. Not wanting to drag this out too much, using the keypad to unlock the door, the automatic light bathes the room into a calm subtle brightness and I stand aside for him to take in my small private world.

The room consisted of a soft bench. On one side of the wall there was a lone riding crop with spikes embedded in it. There was nothing erotic about this room but it has always been a witness to my release.

"What is this place?" his voice is shaky and this is it. Moment of truth.

"The session between Ruan and me is this. Back when I was 18 we used to have frequent sessions as soon as my back heals. So that would be about once in four months. Off late in these past few years I have been needing his service far less and so have restricted our sessions to once in 6 months. This year surprisingly it's been 9 months since we had our last session."

"What is this session you keep repeating?" his eyes take in the bench and the crop in front of him and I grin.

"The bench you see there. That's where I lie down complacently for him to use that crop" pointing to the innocent leather one hung on the wall "to hit me until my skin tears apart and every pore of my core bleeds out."

His eyes widen and giving him a reassuring smile while I remove my tshirt. Turning around to show him my back that is marred by thousand silver linings of scars dated of a worthy decade, I hear him gasp.

"Ruan is an expert. He has been careful with me. We have known eachother for a decade now. He knows he can't touch me. Never asked me the reason and I never gave him one. All I need to do is give him a call and we'll schedule a session just like a doctor and patient. He'd come here. I'd offer him some tea and we proceed to this room." I smile reminiscing our first try out.

"Our first time was awkward but we learnt together of my capacity to take the pain. He introduced me to various safe methods and the one we use is a crop. At the most I can take about 30-50 lashes depending upon my mental health. At the end, I'd lie there and he'd feed me some water to regain my strength. Once he's assured that I'd be safe, he'd leave never once turning back."

"I saw him adoringly gazing at you. Are you sure he hasn't tried to be something more?" I laugh softly at his question "No, Ruan is extremely professional. The release has never been sexual. I know for a fact that he has a soft corner for me. He always encouraged me to take a submissive but I have never needed those kinds of relationship. This" I point towards the bench "is more than sufficient for me."

"Did this help?" BoBo enquires and I nod "Immensely. It centred me. People out there look for partners for their release, here, I was in my safe place with a person who knew how to control an act. The pain stimulated with my psych and gave me" I pause for a better word "liberation."

"So you never self harmed after this?"

"No"

"You said it's been 9 months since you last had a session together. Why? Don't you need them anymore?" his question is innocent but I shrug "I haven't needed any for past few months" I laugh at the joke that creeps up in my mind "maybe all the shootings and bandages on my body are causing me enough pain to not need any further pain therapy" just as I say this, BoBo growls and traps me between his body and the wall behind me.

"Teach me" his eyes were serious and I tilt my head to question him "What?"

"Teach me how to use that crop. I'll learn to the best of my ability so that the only one to give you any kind of pain will be me" he bites out.

"Why do you want to be a part of my messed up world, BoBo? Why do you want to learn the techniques of giving me pain?" I challenge him when he whispers "Because after giving you the pain you need" he presses his body closer to mine "I want to be the only man to heal them too. To heal you."

That right there causes a small chink in my shield.

"Weibo" he calls out.

"What?" I whisper.

"Your pet name for me. You're Wei Ying. Lan Zhan's Wei. You're BoBo's Wei. You're my Weibo." With that he softly presses his lips against mine. Unable to stop the rouge tear from escaping my eyes I let it fall freely.

Weibo.

BoBo's Wei.

Maybe finally I can heal after all this time but the question remains are we strong enough to withstand the pain?

Even if you're unable to heal me, but this Zhan will be forever in your debt Yibo. For you were my constant when the darkness surrounded us and maybe one day if I can repay you even with my life, then I'll be there.