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chapter 5 » sleep deprivation

Hours past, Ajax barely even moving in her much-needed rest. The truth was that she hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep in months. Of course, technically speaking, no one can 'catch up on sleep' but that doesn't mean one can't try. Ajax's body was exhausted. Her head ached, her bones were ready to crumble. Twenty-four hours of sleep wouldn't even do the right job.

However, her sleep would be coming to stop. Peter waited for her to wake up but it was now reaching nine. Queens needed Spider-Man and he knew it would be a bad idea to leave Ajax alone with May. It wasn't May he was worried about it, rather, Ajax. He feared that she might think he deserted her and would immediately close back up or be horrendously mad at him. Peter didn't want to risk it, not to mention, she would need to get home soon with it being a school night. So, Peter got up from his desk and carefully walked over to his bed. Ajax's white hair laid sporadically across his pillow but her face was peaceful. It almost hurt Peter that he had to wake her. She never looked this calm and content. In fact, Peter hadn't even noticed but Ajax seemed to have constant worried, timid even, wrinkles but while she slept, nothing. Just, calm, content, beautiful.

"Ajax." Peter whispers, standing beside her awkwardly. "Ajax," Peter whispers a little louder but she doesn't move at all. "Hey," Peter's voice comes up and Ajax's chest just rises and falls with every breath. Peter knelt beside his bed and despite knowing how Ajax feels about touching, he didn't want to start yelling and figured lightly shaking her would wake her. "Ajax." Peter says, his hand resting on her shoulder.

Ajax's eyes shoot open and with one quick motion, she was sitting and a small burst fire spit from her palms, directly at Peter with a terrified yell from the both of them. Ajax's chest heaved while Peter, quite literally, flipped out of the way just before the flames hit him. It happened so fast neither of them were able to fully comprehend what was going on until they made eye contact. Ajax's were still wide and her jaw slack while Peter's eyes were horrified and his heart nearly coming from his chest.

She really just did that. It's the one thing that's been ingrained her since day one. No one can know. No one. When people find out, they will use it against you. She's been told it a hundred times. Over and over like a mantra. Her dad told her when he was teaching her to control her powers before he died. Her mom continued the pattern until she died and then Tony picked up where she left off.

Ajax has been listening to it constantly and she never wanted anyone to know. Luckily, her parents never received much trouble, not until right before her dad died anyway. But, she did have Tony to look to. She knew the stories. The stories that almost got Pepper killed, the one that paralyzed Rhodey. Ajax knew and she'd be damned if she allowed that to happen to anyone she cared about. But now her vibrant blue eyes are matched with Peter's caramel saucers and she's fucking terrified.

"Y-yo-you almost set me on fire." Peter stammers.

"H-how the fuck did you move that fast?" Ajax nearly yells as she gets up from his bed, avoiding his question and choosing to focus on him.

"H-how did...how did I? You almost set me on fire!" Peter yells.

"No, I didn't!" Ajax denies her actions as she stuffs her things completely in her bag.

"Uh, yeah, yeah you did." Peter watches carefully, his brain running a mile minute.

She did almost set him fire but the small flames weren't even enough to make it the other side of his room before they extinguished in the air. But, she did, just throw fire at him. From dead asleep, to immediate defense. It was nothing he'd seen before and he wanted answers.

"No, no I didn't, Peter." Ajax's voice is stern above the zipper of her backpack. "You moved fast as hell, you wanna explain that? No one moves that fast. One second you're next to me and the next you're fucking flipping on the other side of the room." Ajax narrows her eyes at the caramel eyed boy.

"Uh, uh, I,I don't know!" Peter shrugs. "I, I have really good reflexes."

"Bullshit, Parker." Ajax calls his bluff.

"I-I-I-I-"

"I didn't almost set you on fire and you happen to be fast." Ajax raises her brows as she looks him up and down. "I have to go home. I'll see you at school." Ajax shakes her head, trying to hide the sudden defeat that was leaking in her words.

"W-wait!" Peter jumps in front of her, again faster than he should have.

Ajax widens her eyes and clenches her jaw. "What?"

"I-I gotta walk you."

"You are really persistent."

"Ajax," Peter leans against his door with a soft sigh. "You, you just-"

"Woke up." She nods with her words and Peter shakes his head.

"Really?" Peter's eyes are slightly narrowed and his voice drenched with annoyance.

"I did. You were there. Literally, two minutes ago. You woke me up."

Peter licks his lips and runs a hand through his hair. "I-I, I'm not gonna drop it." Peter raises and drops his shoulders.

"Drop what?" Ajax plays coy, her face expressionless but her blood pumping with anxiety.

Jared was going to kill her if she wasn't home soon and Tony was gonna have a field day with a lecture if he found out she nearly set another person on fire, accident or not.

Her hands shook with the thought of Jared, his screaming ringing through her ears and it's only followed by Tony's insisted voice going on and on about how dangerous things can be if she's not careful and one day he won't be able to cover up her mess.

"You almost set me on fire." Peter blinks, clearly displeased.

"Hurry the fuck up, alright? I seriously have to get home." Ajax shook her head as she dodged his eyes.

Peter's eyes widen with relief as he takes a deep breath. "Okay, yeah, I'm ready now."  Peter moves and opens the door to reveal May with her hand up to knock on the now open door.

"Sure." Ajax rolls her eyes and Peter allows her out of the room where Aunt May was ready to knock.

"I heard yelling. Is everything okay?" May asks.

"Fine," Ajax smiles cheerfully. "Peter just scared me awake is all. I was way too tired." Ajax's voice is calm and sweet, as if she wasn't ready to kill Peter from anxiety and anger.

Peter stood behind her with a quirked brow, wondering how the hell she can just turn on a dime.

"Everything's fine, May. I'm just about to walk her home." Peter gives her a toothless grin and May looks at the pair with suspicion but doesn't question it.

"Thanks for letting me come over, Miss Parker." Ajax says as Peter and her follow May to the door.

"Of course, you're always welcome here." May nods before allowing Ajax and Peter to head for the door but before Peter could leave, May pulled him aside. "You find out what's going on and you tell me, okay, Peter?"

"Okay, May." Peter agrees before leaving, moving side by side with Ajax.

Ajax keeps her hands buried in her pockets, music not playing as the two walk in silence. Peter has a million questions. How can she just shoot fire from her hands? Is that why she doesn't' get sleep? Is that how she got the burn on her arm? Who knows about her? He doesn't even know where to start. The only thing he's sure of is that Ajax is not going to just come clean about everything, maybe even anything at all. So, bombarding with questions is not the way to go. Instead, he has a different approach.

"Uh, okay." Peter swallows hard. "I'll tell you something and uh," He shrugs looking down to her, "you tell me, good?"

"How are your reflexes that fast?" Ajax agrees with her question but doesn't look to him.

She felt as though she had been caught by the police and was now being interrogated despite Peter being calm and farthest thing from wanting her to feel guilty but she felt it anyway. Of course, she is guilty. She's guilty of lying and nearly burning him. It was something she should be used to but instead, shame eats at her flesh.

"It was an accident." Peter plays her game and gives a vague answer. Ajax huffs but smirks, knowing his game. "How are you-did you do the fire thing?"

"It's a thing I can do." Ajax answers, this time completely honest but Peter's brows are drawn together with displeasure. "Really, always able to do it." Ajax shrugs. "What was the accident?"

"Got bit by something." Peter mumbles, moving his stare to the sidewalk.

Ajax's eyes widen and her jaw drops as she stops. It all makes sense. Tony wasn't up her ass about Peter like he should have been. Peter wasn't lying about working with Tony. It made sense he wouldn't tell Gwen all the details now. No one can know he's Spider-Man. It even explains why he's so twitchy.

"You're Spider-Man." Ajax says and Peter immediately stops.

"W-what?" He turns on his heels to face Ajax who was still frozen.

"You know Tony Stark. He wouldn't give a kid an internship; he doesn't trust anyone. Gwen doesn't know many details about your internship which doesn't make sense. She's your best friend; she should know. You're not bragging about it and any kid into tech like you, would be. Your reflexes. Not to mention, you're the same height as him and weight as him. Approximately."

"That doesn't prove anything." Peter's voice is weak and Ajax chuckles.

"Does, too. You have to be Spider-Man." Ajax shakes her head as she starts walking again.

"Then what are you?" He counters. "You can throw fire!" He yells, following Ajax's lead and walking beside her once more.

"A little louder why don't ya, damn, Parker."

"C'mon." Peter pushes.

"Yeah, I threw fire at you because you scared me awake but you're okay and if you fucking tell anyone, I will boil you from the inside out." Ajax threatens him as she keeps a straight face.

Y-you can do that?" Peter's mouth goes dry as he asks.

"Oh yeah. I can also control water and air. Ya know, elements and shit. So, yes. I can and will boil you from the inside out if you tell anyone. Including Tony, for the love of everything that is good. Do not tell Tony."

"So, you know Mr. Stark?"

"I'm a sixteen year old with powers. Yeah, I know Tony and no I'm not telling you how I know him. You know I set shi ton fire and that's as much as you need to know." Ajax stuffs her hands back in her pockets, keeping them warm from late fall breeze.

"Okay." Peter says calmly, realizing just how much Ajax has told him in their short walk.

She's told him more in that walk than she has in the week they've been spending together. Part of him actually thinks she might be letting him in. Of course, she is to an extent but not as much as Peter thinks. One of her secrets is out, her main one so now she has to trust Peter. Trust him enough not to tell anyone for everyone's safety.

"Look," Ajax sighs breaking the silence that had formed between them. "I really try not to be a bitch but you just have to listen to me when I say you cannot tell anyone, alright? Like, it is really bad if you do."

"Even if Mr. Stark knows?"

"I mean, I just don't feel like getting s lecture from him. You get one of his fatherly lectures yet?"

Peter remembers a year prior when he got his suit taken away and being dropped in the lake before that. He remembers Tony's lectures. They're pretty hard to forget.

"Yeah,"

"Suck, right? So he can't know. He'll find out eventually but not yet."

"So," Peter takes a deep breath, looking at Ajax. "If it's so bad people know," His brows furrowed as he almost tip-toes around his question. "Why, why were you drinking last night? And, um, why...why did you fall asleep at my house?" Peter tries to wrap his head around Ajax's logic but he's at a complete loss.

Ajax's face contorts with touches of fear, shame, and surprise. She thought she could hide it well. Jared never said anything. Her teachers never said anything. No one said anything besides Tony and Ajax was sure Tony only knew because he knows what a hangover looks like better than most. But, now Peter is confronting her and she feels cornered. Especially with him asking why she was able to fall asleep. It was because Peter is comfortable but how is she supposed to tell him that without allowing herself open to vulnerability?

"We are not doing this, Parker."

"No," Peter says with the lick of his lips. "Why?"

"How do you even know I was drinking?" Ajax challenges.

"Could smell it on you."

"Bullshit. Wasn't that strong. Tony would have kept me home instead of dropping me off this morning."

Peter shakes his head and moves his eyes to look at the sidewalk. "You know, it's...it's like everything is a lot. When this happened, everything turned up, ya know? I can hear things other people can't and I can smell things that I shouldn't and everything is just, heightened." Peter rolls his eyes with the shrug of his shoulder. The heightened senses is something he's still growing used to you but there are times when it's just so loud, he could scream.

Ajax shakes her head and look to him. "I lock my door." She bites her lip and grits her teeth but this time with sadness. "I lock it, three deadbolts so no one can come in."

Peter's heart pings with the question that leaves his mouth. "W-why would you have three deadbolts on your door?"

Ajax's eyes grow distant and she realizes that she isn't going to be able to bullshit her way out of talking to Peter. She wants to talk to him. She actually, genuinely, for the first time in years, actually wants to tell someone what the hell is going on with her, in her head. But she also knows that that means danger and baggage and pity and fear.

She doesn't want Peter looking at her differently. He doesn't look at her like Tony does, sorrow, pity, expectations. Like he wants to take her home and fix her himself. Peter doesn't look at her the way Jared does. Disgust, blame, hatred. Peter looks at her are with innocent and kindness, like he'd never do anything to hurt her. Not even say something out of line. It's refreshing. But, maybe that's part of the problem with Peter. It's innocence and he's too trusting and trustworthy. Ajax knows this. It's written across the golden speckled eyes that hold so much hope it's almost heartbreaking.

"I'm gonna make you a deal, alright?" Ajax offers as she swallows a lump, them approaching her apartment complex quicker than Peter wants.

"Okay." Peter agrees.

"I will tell you, some stuff, alright? Some. But, you can not tell Tony or Ned or Gwen or May or anyone. It stays between us and you can't tell me what to do. You are not allowed to tell me what you consider a better way of handling my shit. You just listen and if need someone to talk to, I'll do the same."

"Okay." Peter agrees with the soft nod of his head.

"Jared, he's drunk or high out of his mind so he freaks out sometimes. He doesn't know about me." Ajax shrugs as she goes back to biting her lip.

Peter's eyes widen and he stops. "Wait." Ajax stops but doesn't face him. "What do you mean he freaks out?"

"I don't know." Ajax's voice is fragile. "He just...ya know? Freaks."

"Yeah, how?" Peter says, his voice demanding a straight answer as his heart starts pumping with anger. He knew what she meant. He knew because he saw the way Jared looked at her. His gut told him.

"Shh." Ajax says as looks around them.

"Aja-"

"Peter, shut up." Ajax cuts him off as she holds her hand up, trying to listen to the voice that was echoing from around the corner.

"What's wr-" Peter started but was quickly cut off with the quick movement of Ajax's hand and a gust of wind pushing him between two buildings, Ajax quickly moving in front of him. Their chests moved up and down, almost flush against each other. "Um," Peter swallows as he looks down to her while she moves her hands on either side of his head to trap him in the small cubby. "W-what's, uh, going...on?"

"Sh." Ajax glares at him before moving her stare to ground, listening closely to the voice that was coming closer.

"Who is that?" Peter asks, looking to the street where a man is clearly very drunk, yelling about nonsense.

"Jared." Ajax rolls her eyes as they watch him make his way to Ajax's apartment building before disappearing inside. "Fuck. Me." Ajax groans and looks back to Peter.

Both of them freeze, Ajax just then realizing her close proximity to him. His body heat radiates to her and her heart starts pumping faster with adrenaline. He knew one of her biggest secrets and suddenly, she's face to face with him, an inch away and she's not scared anymore or pissed like she should be. It's different now. But that short moment of relief, of silence, was cut when Ajax moved her hands to her sides and stepped out from the cubby.

"Sorry." She says moving to the street. "You okay?"

"You can, uh, you can really just control elements?" Peter asks but a smile was tugging at his mouth.

"Yeah, that's a thing." She shakes her head as she watches a car pass. "We kind of established that."

"Why did you push me between the buildings?"

"Jared'll freak if he sees me out here this late."

Peter nods and his heart is in the very pit of his stomach. Ajax stuffed her hands deep into her pockets once more and Peter decided he wouldn't ask more about Jared tonight.

"Well...what else can you do?"  Peter moves to stand closer to her, regaining a curious smile.

Ajax laughs and turns to face him. "Hold on. I nearly burned you, because you need to not be so dramatic. I didn't almost set you on fire, burned. There is a difference. And then I literally tossed you between two buildings and threatened to boil you from the inside out and you're fucking smiling and wanting to know what else I can do?"

"Uh," Peter's smile falters and as he looks to his feet while shifting his weight from his toes to his heels. "Uh, yeah, uh." He shrugs. "It's, it's cool." The corner of Peter's mouth is pulled in a soft smile.

Ajax shakes her head and it's as if this weight is just lifted from her. He isn't worried that she'll kill him or hurt him. He isn't judging her for keeping it a secret or being snippy. He's not mad she's been telling half-truths about certain things. There's more to her story as there is with anyone's but Peter doesn't even seem to care or be worried. Instead, he's staring at her with wide eyes of endearment and curiosity.

Ajax licks her lips. "Saturday, we'll watch the movies. You do your Spider-Man thing and when you're done, I'll show you."

"R-really?" Peter's brows raise.

"How many people know you're Spider-Man?" Ajax shifts her weight to one foot with the question.

"Uh, it's ya know, the Avengers and May and Ned...why?"

"And how does it feel that they know?"

"Uh, I-I don't know. Nice, I guess. I don't have to...hide...oh." Peter says as he comes to the realization.

"You know so, why bother not telling you and showing you? I don't know. I don't do this whole friend thing because of this but..." She shrugs one shoulder. "Fuck it."

Peter gains an uncontrollable smile with her words. She trusts him. She does, he can sense it in her words and the way her body shifts. The way her eyes don't look tired or nearly as worried as they did before. She's lighter just with Peter being open.

"But, as routine, I have to go before Jared realizes I'm not upstairs. So, I'll see you at school?"

"Yeah." Peter nods. "Uh, if, uh, ya know," Peter tilts his head and gestures his hand out. "If something, if you need to talk, you can call."

"Thanks, Peter." Ajax shakes her and steps off the sidewalks. "Parker." She bites her lip before crossing the street.

There was a lot Peter still didn't know and a lot of it still weighed on his chest. Shit with Jared wasn't good and he knew it. He'd be keeping an even closer eye on her. He was still going to worry, more now than he was before. If Ajax can defend herself and she's still affected enough by Jared to not stand up to him, Peter had every reason to worry. But, with that, he was giddy and jubilant.

Being a teenager with superpowers isn't exactly easy and he has people to talk to, but it's not the same as having someone who gets it. Who understands that having powers comes with this different type of responsibility even if Ajax didn't use her powers in the same way Peter did. There are just some things, no matter who Peter talks to, no one will understand unless they're like him. And Ajax is. But, exactly how much she's like Peter, is a lingering question that will remain unanswered...for now.

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