The phone ringing beside him woke him up from the deep slumber. His found himself on the floor in the morning sitting position. He felt groggy and confused. He looked around in his dark room, his eyes stung when his eyes fell on the light coming from the small creak of the window.

He groaned, feeling his head pounding and the pulsing pain behind his eyes. He blinked his eyes and looked at the phone.

Video call from:

Seokjin hyung.

He smiled, forgetting about his headache and was about to pick the phone, when his attention fell on the reflection. His own reflected that was seen on the phone screen. It petrified him, to see his own tearful face.

Until he remembered the previous day. His gaze travelled from his phone to his legs. It wasn't a dream. It was real. That's what he saw.

Blood.

He did it again. But this time, it was far more than he had expected. His legs were covered with blood, some of which had rolled down his legs and dried, leaving a nasty, stinking stain. The cuts were bigger, and looked much deeper than the two other times he'd harmed himself.

His phone kept in beeping, but failed to catch his attention.

Now that he had been remembered of the previous day, a thought came to his mind.

'Who even recorded this? How did they get access to his phone?'

The phone beeped again, his attention finally getting on it.

Incoming video call:

Seokjin hyung

'How am I suppose to appear in front of Seokjin hyung like this?'

He declined the call without a second thought. And quickly made his way to the bathroom.

He almost gagged when he looked at himself in the mirror. He felt disgusted at himself. He quickly looked away, biting his lips. To prevent himself from doing anything reckless.

He thought he ha moved on from the incident but he was wrong.

He quickly cleaned himself up. He cleaned his wounds properly and bandaged them up.

And oh, screw work. It was literally 10am already.

He quickly typed a message to the flower shop saying he can't come due to an personal emergency and made his way to his wardrobe.

It was messy. Just like his life. Really...his life was completely messed up without his family. The real one.

He sighed looking at the bunch of unwashed clothes that were forcefully shoved in the cabinet. He took them and threw them into the washing machine.

He smiled slightly when his eyes fell on the outfit he needed. His old work suit.

He doesn't know why, but he kept it with great care, even after leaving work. It's like a deep memory connects him to his beloved ex-colleagues who were like his own siblings.

He took it out. It looked brand new, like it's just bought from the store. Though it's not used at all in 2 years.

After all, it was given by his only sister.

He wonders if he could still fit in it.

He true to wear it. And surprisingly, it still fits. Instead it's a bit baggy. It's finally caught by his eyes that he had lost quite a lot of weight. But no. Its enough. He'll try again.

He'll try to start his life again. He WILL start his life again. He'll stop torturing himself.

Day-17                                                       17.10.21
I've promised. I've promised mom, dad, noona. I've promised Seokjin hyung. That I'll be a strong boy. And bravely fight all the struggles. I'll stop blaming myself for everything that happened. But I failed to keep it. But now, I'm determined.

I will start a new life. And I will NEVER give up anymore.

***

I'm sorry. I know I should've done him more justice. I promise I'll let him be happy even if it's just for a while-

Heh-

I legit forgot this series existed-