REAL LIFE
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east high, salt lake city, utah
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─"I TOTALLY UNDERESTIMATED THE WALK UP HERE," joshua laughed as he perched himself beside cariad with a heavy sigh, "we don't have to talk if you don't want to but i'm here."

cariad smiled, pulling the boy into a hug, "thanks, joshy. i really do appreciate you. sorry for lumping all my problems on you as soon as i got to know you. you're amazing."

josh shook his head, rubbing cariad's back soothingly as they stayed in an embrace.

"i'm always gonna be here, caz, i care about you," he kissed her forehead and she couldn't help but think about how tom always did that to comfort her, "you gonna go home for the week now table reads are done?"

cariad pondered the idea for a moment, she'd not really thought about it. she didn't know if she wanted to go back home and see tom all loved up, but she missed him and she missed the dogs and she missed haz.

"i might, but i'm not sure if i want to," she mumbled, pulling back from the hug and looking sadly into joshua's eyes, "is it stupid to say i'm scared to?"

joshy shook his head.

he smiled softly, "i can come back with you if you want?" he offered, rubbing her knee with the palm of his hand, "i've not been to london in a long time and if it'll help you to have me around then i'm all for it."

cariad's heart warmed at his kind offer, and she nodded in acceptance immediately. if josh was staying he could stay in their spare room, and having him around would help ease the tension between her and tom because she'd have someone else in the house to talk to.

she had spoken to tom in the past few days, but it didn't seem the same as things used to and she was scared to see him again.

"i'd love that, joshy," she beamed, "i can show you around where we," she paused after uttering the word we, "live and it'll be amazing!"

josh chuckled, still rubbing cariad's knee, "i can't wait, caz," his chest tightened seeing a smile light up on her face again, "there's that smile."

cariad blushed, lowering her head.

"don't hide," joshua shook his head, lifting her chin with two fingers and looking at her intensely, "we're going to have a good week because that's what you deserve — and i want to see you smiling like that more. i don't like seeing you hurt."

cariad couldn't help hugging him again, nestling her face in the crook of his neck as she did so.

she pulled back and grabbed both his hands in hers, placing them in her lap and smiling softly up at him, "i'm so lucky to have you as a friend."

josh felt a small pang in his chest at the word friend, but he knew already that a friend was all he was to her, and seeing how much she needed comfort made him okay with that.

he was content knowing she didn't have feelings for him, because all he wanted was for her to be happy and he knew that he was a support system for her right now. his priority was helping her, and he wasn't about to confuse her further with his own feelings.

"i'm lucky to be your friend," he squeezed her hand, shaking their intertwined hands in her lap before lifting them so he could press a small kiss to the back of her hands, "now let's get back in there, okay? ignore your phone and we'll have a fun rehearsal, yeah?"

cariad nodded, lifting herself to her feet with a heavy sigh. she really was lucky to have josh, but she couldn't help the bubbling sadness that remained knowing she was losing tom.

———
joshua is too good for this world nd
i love him but i miss tomriad being
cute i piss myself off sometimes smh