REAL LIFE
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cariad's room
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─ "i know tom being with alison is really hard on you, caz," joshua soothed her, placing his guitar down on the bed as they finished filming another duet — one of an unreleased song she'd written about tom, "but you know i'm always here to listen when you need to talk about it."

cariad nodded, smiling softly at the boy beside her. she was so lucky to have him supporting her, but couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach at the sight of his dimpled grin.

"i don't deserve you, joshy," she ruffled his hair and giggled a little as they got comfortable again, cross-legged in front of each other, "but i'm so grateful."

joshua reached up, a warm hand tucking a stray hair behind cariad's ear as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek. suddenly aware of his warm breath on her face as he pulled back a little, the swarm of butterflies in her stomach made her turn her head to the side so that their noses were touching.

they remained like this for a few seconds, eyes flickering between each other's eyes and mouth, jagged breaths escaping both of their parted lips.

joshua cupped cariad's cheek, leaning more so that their foreheads were touching, "i don't want to kiss you unless you want me to, but i—."

cariad cut him off with a gentle kiss, unaware that tom was at her door hoping for comfort regarding his breakup.

tom turned on his heels, scowling and storming back to his room.

cariad pulled back, tilting her head to the side. she felt somewhat deflated at the fact the kiss failed to give her the heart palpitations that her kiss with tom had.

joshua pulled back too, chuckling at cariad's startled face. "it's okay, cari, you can say you didn't feel anything."

"what?"

"i can tell by your face that you didn't feel anything and it's fine. i thought i— well i thought i might've, but surprisingly i didn't either. we can pretend that never happened, caz." he smiled comfortingly, and cariad couldn't hide the blush on her cheeks.

"god, you really are the best, joshy. i wish i was in love with you," cariad giggled, shuffling back from their close proximity and resting her chin in her hand, "best friends?"

"best friends, always."

—

meanwhile, tom sat perched on the end of his bed, trying incredibly hard to quash the jealousy bubbling fiercely in his stomach.

he wanted to pretend there was no jealousy and that he was simply that upset that they were too busy to help him make sense of what had just happened.

sure, he just wanted some support, that's what he told himself.

in reality, deep down at least, he knew that he was jealous that he had been right and joshua really was the person cariad was interested in.

there had been a small hope in his heart that the reason she had been so mad about the kiss was that she shared the feelings he'd felt and she was jealous he'd been a coward and denied them.

he hated himself for having hurt alison with his confusion, even more so now that his heart wrenched at the notion of cariad's feelings residing elsewhere. alison had never deserved this, and everyone had been right that he shouldn't have led her on.

but he hadn't known until now how he truly felt, not until he saw cariad's lips against joshua's and felt the ache in his chest at the very sight of it.

he believed he'd lost his chance.

he was too late.

he threw himself backwards, defeated, so that his head hit his pillow. with a horrible feeling overcoming his body, he fell into a restless sleep, unsure how else to avoid it.

if only he could have truly admitted to himself that he was really in love with cariad and always had been, perhaps he could've seen that she loved him too.

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<3 updated this, my steven hyde fic & my luke hemmings fic today i am feeling so much better
and more productive ! x