I stare at videos of daughters laughing with their mothers, hugging and thriving,
and hear them say how much they love each other.

I wish I could say the same.
But here is all I have to say about the one who gave me life and my name.

Dear mother,
you are the pain behind my tears,
the criticizing voice in my head
the reason for my fears.
you say love me and call me pretty
but behind closed doors say I'm fat and sneer 
for calling you out on your infidelity.

I know I'm grown ,
but I cried like a baby while you were gone with your boyfriend,
and the only comfort I had was my love on the phone.

He showed me the care you never did
and made me feel like I'm worth something,
way different than how you treated me as a kid.

Dear mother, you claim to never be wrong.
You never take the blame, even when it belonged to you all along.
Talking to you is exhausting,
it's like talking to a brick wall.

Dear mother,
your sin broke us all.