There's always a limit upto which we can bottle up our feelings, which once crossed, cannot be suppressed again, do whatever you can.

Outburst

"You okay, Anu?" Kabir asks his wife, who seems to getting dressed for some medical visit.

"Yes." comes his wife's monosyllabic response like all the other times. But even this is soothing for Kabir, who earlier had lost his hopes of ever getting his wife to speak to him.

"Fine, I'll drop you to the orphanage." Kabir tells his wife, who isn't paying attention to him, her attention is on the pleats of her saree. But still, it is much better than her previous behaviour. She has now rejoined her work, though Kabir knows well it's only because she doesn't wish to have one more heated conversation with him which they had three months back.

Like every other day, Kabir had returned back from work late at night. But unlike other days, Anaisha was awake. She was sitting on the bed in her bedroom, still clutching Arman's picture in her hands. Ayaan was sitting beside her.

When Kabir walked toward the room, Ayaan didn't notice him, despite his footsteps being louder than usual. It was slightly unusual as the kid always waited for his father to get home. Kabir didn't make any move toward Ayaan, and stood at the entrance of the room. He observed what his son was doing.

His son was staring at Anaisha, with teary eyes. His hand was on Anaisha's hand and something told Kabir, Ayaan was trying to get his mother's attention. But Anaisha wasn't bothered, as if Ayaan wasn't there.

Ayaan stood up on the bed beside Anaisha and touched her cheeks, his desperate attempt to get his mother's attention. Anaisha didn't show any sign of acknowledging his presence, again. It broke Kabir's heart to see his wife's ignorance and detachment with their only child. He couldn't understand why can't she cherish the existence of one of their twins rather than lamenting over the loss of the other.

"Mamma!" Ayaan softly called his mother, now crying. Though, it was his paternal aunt who had been taking care of him, the little boy still desired his mother's affection. Every once in a while he would go upto her, in hope she would hug him this time and give her the love he deserved. But every time, all he got was rejection and his mother's alienation.

Yet this time, his father had enough of his wife's aloofness and finally bursted out on her.

Kabir stormed inside, unable to bear the anguish of his son. He held Anaisha by her hand and jerked her to stand. Holding her by her shoulders, he allowed his deep buried grief come out in his words.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ANAISHA? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET US LIVE IN PEACE? WHY CAN'T YOU STOP YOURSELF FROM INFLICTING MORE PAIN ON US THEN WE'RE ALREADY SUFFERING THROUGH? WHAT WRONG HAVE WE DONE WITH YOU THAT YOU KEEP PUNISHING ME AND AYAAN WITH YOUR ALOOFNESS? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THE TRUTH AND MOVE ON LIKE I DID? WHY?"

Her face still stoic, Anaisha stared at him. Kabir's voice was so loud, that even Ayaan was petrified. In fact, Kabir himself was gobsmacked on using such vehement tone with his wife. But he had no control over his emotions!

"It's not easy to accept the reality, Kabir. I lost my son, and only I know how heartwrenching it is! You can't imagine how painful it is to lose a part of yourself, the part that a mother carries in her body for nine months! How can you expect me to act normal after such loss of ours? How can you ask me to forget about Arman and move on? How can I forget my firstborn son and live my life as if nothing ever happened? Tell me!"

Anaisha gazed at Kabir, furious tears falling down her eyes. Her husband's way of speaking to her had perplexed her. Couldn't he see how much broken she was after losing her son? It seemed astonishing to her that her husband, who had always understood her unsaid feelings, couldn't understand her agony this time.

But she didn't realise that her words had only aggravated her husband's anguish, who now had tears in his eyes with dismal for his wife. His heart had already been shattered with his wife's indifferent behaviour, only broke more after hearing her what she had to say.

His eyes continued to be on her face, partly because he couldn't digest his wife's reaction and partly because he didn't wish to see the fearful face of his son or his sister's who had come running to his and Anaisha's bedroom after hearing her brother shout. Tears roll down his eyes, his fury and emotional frustration shaking him.

"It wasn't just you who lost a son!" he snapped, pulling Anaisha roughly closer to himself. "I lost a son, too. I felt the same pain that you felt, the same agony that killed you, killed me too. It wasn't easy for me either. If you had carried him for nine months, I had cared for you both all through those months and you can't imagine how badly I wanted to hold our son in my arms, to feel what it's like to embrace a piece of your own self. If for you it was heartwrenching to lose him, for me it was no less. But I couldn't show that. You know why?"
He paused, Anaisha's tears were stabbing his heart. But hadn't she hurt him much more than the angst his words were afflicting on her?

"Because I had one more son to look after, who needed both of us just as much as Arman needed us. I had a family to look after, which made me continue my job unlike you. And sadly, you didn't realise that. You became so selfishly consumed in your own pain that you forgot about me, our son Ayaan. You completely forgot that despite losing Arman, you still had one more son, who deserved your affection. Is this how mothers are, crying over their own wounds even if that torments their own child? But whom am I asking this, the woman who only thinks about herself? Today, you have made me regret my decision of marrying you. I really do!"

He left her shoulders and marched out of the room, unable to hold back his tears. Never in his life, had he ever imagined he would land in such situation where all he felt was desolation and agitation, caused by the woman he loved the most.

But it wasn't just him whose tears weren't halting, his wife's condition was worse than his. Her heart still couldn't believe it was her husband who had lashed out on her, without realising how severely his words had impacted her.

She slumped on the bed, not holding back her tears. Her heart broke more as her husband's words continually rang in a loop in her ears. She cried bitterly, not knowing what else to do. She, herself didn't know how she reached this stage in her life where no matter what she did, couldn't come out of the darkness that engulfed her.

"Mamma, no clying," said Ayaan, wiping her tears.

Anaisha hadn't realised when her baby had gotten down from the bed and started wiping her tears with his chubby hands. Samyra had already left the room to give her sister-in-law some alone time.
Holding his hand, Anaisha looked up to look at Ayaan and it pierced her heart to see his innocent face full of tears.

A part in her knew her behaviour was wrong, but she couldn't do anything to rectify her mistakes. Her loss had paralysed her. The same part of her knew her husband and son needed her, her love and her care. But she didn't know how to release herself from behind the walls of her sorrow and move on.

"Mamma, no clying please," cried Ayaan in his baby tone.

A cry escaped Anaisha's lips and she hugged Ayaan, not having any other response for her son. Her son hugged her back, and both mother and son continued to cry for a long time, till both fell asleep.

When Kabir entered the room, he was delighted to see his wife and son sleeping, both still hugging each other. He covered them with a blanket and lied on his side of bed. He glanced once more at Anaisha, and knew, maybe now Anaisha's attitude toward him and Ayaan would change. And thankfully, it did!

"Kabir, where are you lost?" asks Anaisha, tapping his shoulder. She has been calling out to him for past ten minutes but Kabir hasn't responded to her even once.

"Huh?" he says, composing himself, "Nowhere. C'mon, let's go." He gets up and moves towards the main door.

"Okay. You go, I'll bid bye to Ayaan and come." Anaisha says, before going to Ayaan's nursery where he's with his aunt, playing with his toys.

Kabir nods, but doesn't leave. Rather he follows his wife and watches her kiss Ayaan's forehead and saying bye.

"Bye-bye, Mamma." Ayaan wishes her back, before resuming to play with his aunt Samyra.

"Take care, Bhabhi," wishes Samyra and Anaisha thanks her.

Kabir smiles and walks towards the main door. Anaisha has really begun to change, though her relationship with Kabir is still strained as neither have any idea how to bridge the gap that has seeped between them.

"Here we are, Anu. I may get late in evening, so I'll send the car for you," Kabir informs his wife, stopping the car in front of the gates of the Holy Child Orphanage where his wife has been called for checkup of a newly brought toddler.

"It's fine, Kabir. I'll manage with a cab. You keep the car or else you'll have problem while returning home." Anaisha says as she collects her bag before stepping out of the car.

"Oh, okay. As you wish. Good luck," Kabir wishes her, turning the keys to start the car.

"Thank you, Kabir, and I love you. Bye." Anaisha says, before closing the door. She passes Kabir a small smile, which though doesn't reach her eyes, still manages to bring a smile on Kabir's face.

"I love you, too, Anu. Bye." He replies, waving at her. She smiles again and walks inside, turning once to see him still waiting for her to go inside the building. This only makes her smile go wider and after a long time, she feels better.

Seeing her smile, Kabir's heart skips a beat. He's already contended with saying the three words of love to his wife after so many months, and her smile only made it better for him. A new hope took birth in his heart that maybe he'll get his real Anaisha back soon.

A/N: Do vote and comment! :)