"And then," I said, clicking to save the edits made to the image on the screen, "He said that my standards were too high for a girl who was a six at best, and I should be grateful he even gave me the time of day."

Claire was frozen in absolute horror as she listened to me recount the argument of the night before. "Tell me," she breathed, "That you cut him off and things are finally over between you and that douche canoe?"

I refused to meet her eye as I began scanning through the folder of images I had captured in our most recent photoshoot. "Three years is a long time to throw away over one argument." I replied weakly.

"For god's sake Nikki! It's not just one argument, is it? He has belittled you and put you down for months." She sounded outraged on my behalf and deep down, I might even agree with her.

We had been arguing a lot more recently. He was working longer hours and even when he was around, he never felt present anymore.That phone in his hand was a more constant companion than it felt I would ever be.

"We are working on things. I mean, I'm not getting any younger and I don't think I can face dating life again." I pulled a face, remembering the catalogue of disaster dates before I met Drew.

He had seemed so perfect. No, correction, he was so perfect. I was lucky to land him and I knew it. Charming, successful and not to mention tall, dark and handsome. He was everything I had ever wanted.

The fact I ran my own business, a successful boudoir photography service, didn't seem to threaten him like it had past relationships. In fact, he enjoyed bringing me along to business events and getting me chatting to other wives and girlfriends of people he worked with.

I had even been credited with helping two couples rediscover their attraction to each other and he had been over the moon by the way both colleagues had treated him after that.

I frowned. Thinking back on it, I was pretty sure that was the last time I had ever felt truly appreciated by him. What did that say about me? That I had been feeling unappreciated for so long and just accepted it?

I bit back the wave of self-loathing and reminded myself I didn't need someone's validation to feel good about what I did. Plus, I got plenty of kind feedback from my work. That was enough.

"We're on a break and trying to date again to see if that helps improve things. He's taking me to a football match tomorrow night, so that will be nice." I said hopefully, as I lowered the brightness on the photo I had selected a little more. It gave it an even more dramatic and moody edge that fit perfectly with the client's vibe.

"That's stunning." Claire nodded in approval at the image. "But isn't this your fifth break now? And you don't even like football?"

"Eighth break." I winced. "And I don't dislike it. I'm just not hugely interested in it. Anyway, that's not the point. We are trying to show more interest in things the other likes." I explained, leaning back in my chair to look up at the ceiling.

The draped fabric gave the room a luxurious feel, and the spa-like music playing was perfect for relaxing clients and us. This studio had taken years of hard work and long hours, but now it felt so worth it. Once a chapel, the building was of beautiful exposed brick and large windows, but still small and intimate enough to make clients feel safe.

When I wasn't staying in Drew's flat with him, I lived in the other half of this building. It was a dream come true to restore it, and whilst he understood the work it had taken, he wasn't a fan of the quirkiness of the place. The uneven floors and edge of nowhere location which had drawn me to the building were completely at odds with his preferred style.

But opposites attract, and somehow we had fallen in love. Claire caught the arms of my chair, spinning me to face her. "So what's he going to do that you like?"

I ducked under her arm and made for the little kitchen nook, popping in a pod to make myself what I was pretty sure was my third coffee of the day. "Haven't decided yet." I lied with a shrug.

She would absolutely lose her shit if I told her he had shot down two of my suggestions. Both options had involved food and weren't 'on plan' for the latest diet he was apparently on. I knew she meant well, but she had been married for two years to her childhood best friend. She didn't understand what it was like to date and attempt to form a bond with someone. It had happened naturally over time for her. I didn't begrudge her that, but I wished that the boys in my own schools growing up had been half as nice as her husband.

Something about my tired tone had her softening. "I'm just saying don't settle, Nikki. You're beautiful, talented and there's a guy out there who will adore you the way you are supposed to be. You just need to cut loose this tosser to find him."

"But what if there isn't someone out there? What if I leave him and end up alone forever? Being single is not something I am good at. I need affection and intimacy." I tried to explain.

I was clingy. I knew it and maybe that was what had pushed away anyone who showed an interest in me. My therapist would probably say it had something to do with my issues of my dad walking out when I was a kid, but daddy issues felt like such a cliche.

"Being lonely alone is better than being lonely and in a relationship." Claire said, moving back to sorting through the pile of new corsets to hang on our dressing rail.

"When did you get all wise?" I joked, leaning my back against the wall. "Look, I thought I had found the man I'd spend the rest of my life with. So what if we argue sometimes and he works a lot? At the end of the day, I had those feelings for a reason, so I'm going to focus on rediscovering them with him. I have to believe we can work it out and I've not wasted the last three years."

Claire huffed. "What you're going to do is spend the next six months trying to salvage a relationship with a man who doesn't deserve you. I swear you always go for men like this. It's like you're either blind to the red flags or attracted to them."

"You don't know that. Perhaps we are exactly what each other needs. Plus, I can see red flags, I just-" I said defensively, my voice already trailing off.

Claire's raised eyebrow said it all. Ok, I was not good at picking the right men, I could accept that fact. But that didn't mean Drew was wrong for me. Retrieving fresh coffee, I focused my attention on the studio as I gripped the mug tightly for warmth, trying to drag my brain away from thinking too much about my failing relationship.

My eyes flickered to the clock, noting that we had about fifteen minutes until the next client arrived. Claire snorted a laugh. "He's a walking red flag and you know it. Plus, if he met your 'needs', we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

Biting back a smile, I began mentally planning the session out. The enquiry form had just said it was for her husband to celebrate their five-year anniversary and she wanted to surprise him. That left a lot of options open and I truly loved getting creative.

I placed my coffee back on the side and began pulling out a plush burgundy velvet chair to set up the corner. "Look, not all of us feel the need to have an at-it-like-rabbits sex life, Claire Bear. Some of us are perfectly satisfied with every other week."

I internally cringed when I realised it had been more like months. With Drew working late into the night more and more often, and the business trips that took him away for days at a time, we hadn't really been together long enough for more than a peck on the cheek really.

Perhaps that explained why we had been feeling so disconnected and I hadn't felt like he was attracted to me? His words last night hadn't helped those feelings. If anything, they had worsened. But at least it meant there might be a way to get us back on track.

I moved to the lingerie rail and ran my fingers over the lace and silk. Maybe he wasn't attracted to me because I hadn't really made an effort to be attractive recently?

Claire rolled her eyes as she scooped up an armful of cushions and deposited them next to the chair I had set up. "Surprised he makes time in his busy schedule for you to do it that often."

"He's really not the terrible person you seem to think." I sighed, selecting three options of clothing for the client.

I had become pretty good at recognising what people needed to make them feel good and look good. If only I was as good at doing that in my own life. Then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess.

A soft knock on the open door interrupted our conversation, and I span to face the newcomer. "Hi, sorry I'm not completely sure if I am in the right place? Is this Veronica Valentine's studio?" The girl asked nervously, clutching her cardigan tightly round her.

My face split into a welcoming grin as I hurried over, ushering her inside. "It absolutely is welcome! You must be Susie?"

She nodded her head in confirmation, stepping into the room, her eyes like saucers as she took it all in.

"Well Susie, I'm Nikki and this is my assistant Claire. We are so excited to work with you and capture some amazing photos of your beautiful self." I reassured, leading her to a comfy sofa so we could plan out the session.