Kya btaun usky saath
Waqt guzara boht hai
Mere dil ka kaatil hi sahi
Pr  pyara boht hai. 🥀

Age 7

The birthday party was on full swing.
Kids were running around, playing, screaming and eating.

It was time to cut the cake, so all the kids gathered around in a circle and encouraged the little girl to cut the beautifully decorated cake.
Najia joined her cousins as well and took a piece of cake like everyone else.
She was so excited to have her favorite brownie cake that she hadn't eaten anything all day long.

She took her plate and sat on the bench in the garden,away from everyone else.
She was about to take the first bite when two of her cousins came and said
"Aur kitna cake khao gy najia...pehly hi itny fat ho tum...meri mama ny bola hai ky main thora khana khaya krun kiun ky aise main sb ko pyari lgun gy"

Tears started welling in her small little eyes and her face heated up with embarassement.
Tha cake long forgotten.
She ran towards her room when she collided with an other body.
The eleven year old boy kept calling her name,pleaded her to stop and tell him why she was crying but she didn't stop,she ran and entered her room ,closed the door and cried herself to sleep.

The banging on her door made her put her small hands on her ears .
No one came to check on her except the little boy who stood there until she opened it in the morning.

two weeks later they  left for Italy.

Age 14

~Chand raat~

The girls were all giggling while the mehndi artist applied the mehndi on their hands.

Najia sat beside her mama and her cousin amna who was telling her about something that happened at her school.
Amna was the only one she would talk to, that too just a little.

Najia kept looking at all the gorgeous mehendi designs that her cousins were getting done on their hands and hesitantly decidedthat she wantedto  get hers  done as well.

"Amna dekho aghr mahnoor ny apny kapry press kie hain ya nhi " amna's mother and najia's chachi said to her .
"Ji mama main dekh ky aty hun" and she rushed inside to look for her sister.

Najia looked at all the girls
That were sitting in the hall and a heavy wave of insecurity passed over her.

She was wearing braces.
Her hair was shorter than all of the girls.

she had acne.

She was so much chubbier .

Her cheeks were puffy.
Her arms were big.
Her stomach was not flat.

She stood up to go back to her room to not tourture herself more when her mom spoke to the other group of relatives sitting close to her.
"Sab itny pyari ho gy hain aur ek najia hai jo sb sy moty hai...apni behen sy bhi nhi example lety...itni pyary hai na meri sadia."
In that moment the only thing that najia wished was to dissapear from there,she wished that the ground would swallow her up and never make her come  back to this place.

She hastily got up and wemt to her room with a normal pace to not make anyone suspicious but when she reached her room the tears started falling like raindrops.
Tears of embarrasment .
Tears of humiliation.
Tears of dissapointment .
And tears of self-pity.

Why couldn't her parents see her accademical achievements? 
Why couldn't they see how amazingly she played the piano?
Why did they always have to humiliate her like this infront of everyone?

she was on the verge of a panic attack .

she felt her chest tightening, she was having trouble breathing.

she tried reaching for  her inhaler and in the process she fell a few times .

finally she reached her bed and fell on it exausted.

after a few hours she decided to come out of her room and as she was walking towards the hall she was about to slip but two muscular arms wrapped around her waist and saved her from hitting her butt on the ground .

her heartbeat accelerated due to the fear and her breath came shorther.

little things triggered her. 

she hesitantly lifted her lashes to look at the person who saved her and came across him.

" dehan sy chala kro" said an eighteen year old Hadi.

"sorry" she said looking at the ground.

" kahin lagi to nhi?" he questioned her .

"nhi, jazakAllah... " she thanked him.

his eyes raked over her figure and they softened.

he took ahold of her hands while her eyes widened at his actions .

"mehendi kiun nhi lgwayi tumny?" he questioned looking at her bare hands.

"w-wo main so gy thy...aur tbh tkh mehendi lgany wali api chali gy thy."

she partially told him the truth. She did sleep but she didn't want to get her mehendi done on purpose. She didn't want to be mocked or told by the cousins and the mehendi artist about how chubby her fingers are or how her wrist is bigger than the others .

"apna niqaab  kro....main bahir wait krta hun" he said and went outside.

a confused look passed over but then she went to her room, wore her niqaab and went outside .

although their family was pretty modern and most of the girls didn't wear any obaya or niqqab there were still a few women of the house that respected their old traditions.

he was waiting for her leaning on his bike.

as soon as he saw her he stood straight and when she came near him he signaled her to sit on the bike.

" kahan ja rhy hain hum..." she asked in a small voice .

" tum bheto....tumhy pta chl jaye ga " he said with a little curve of his lips.

she smiled shyly behind her niqaab  and sat on the bike with her legs on one side .

she tried taking support of the handle behind the bike but when he accelerated the speed heer hands automatically went to his shoulders for support.

Hadi on the other hand felt like his world had stopeed when her little hand rested on his shoulder for support.

they finally reached their destination when hadi parked his bike in front of a salon.

she looked at him after she stood in front of him and asked.

"a-ap hmy yahan kiun laye?" 

" yeh mere ek dost ki behen ka salon hai ...maine ussy pucha aghr wo kuch dyr open reh sky...tumny mehendi nhi lgwayi na...." he took a hold of her hands again...sending sparks through her body and his own.

" aur mujhy pta hai tumhy mehendi lgwana kitna psnd hai....main yahan hi wait kr rahan hum...tum jao mehendi lgwa ao" he clarified and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb.

A lump formed in her throat and she tried swallowing it and not letting her emotions show.

"jaun?" she asked in a meek voice trying to cover the tremble in her voice but he heard it and pulled her a little closer, kissed her forehead and said :
"jao".

she came back after half an hour and rushed towards hadi who was talking on the phone immediately hung up the call when he saw her coming towards him.

"Hadi..dekhen hmari mehendi kitny pyari hai...haina?" she said forwarding her hands to him .

"Mashallah boht pyari lg rhi hai..." he again pulled her closer and this time he brought her to his chest and hugged her .

her arms wrapped around his torso and eyes welled up with tears when she heard him mutter"bilkul tumhari tarha".

~PRESENT DAY~

AGE 18, Italy 

Najia got ready to go to university in an oversized dark grey shirt with blue mom jeans and a black hijab.

she packed her bag and headed downstairs to the dining table  where everyone was having breakfast.

" khuda hafiz mama....main ja rhi hun" she only got a nod in response as her mother was busy serving her two brothers and her sister was playing on the phone while  her baba gave her a little smile.

she was putting her shoes on when she heard her eldest brother speaking 

"mama aaj guestroom ready rkhna...apko yaad hai na aaj Hadi a raha hai..." 

her mother started saying something to Safii but all she could think was 'he's coming'

======================

hello......

this is the first chapter of healing you....i hope you guys enjoyed it .

bye bye :)