Last night, Jongho couldn't sleep much. His nerves have been quite excitable of late.

Not even in a bad way, per se, he just can't seem to settle.

When he does sleep, his dreams are only of brown eyes and thin lips, forget-me-nots sprouting from the ground around a familiar waterfall and a broad chest beckoning him to jump in, to take the leap.

Ridiculous.

But why am I so obsessed? Jongho asks himself. Maybe Hongjoong was wrong. I knew I should've waited for Seonghwa. Maybe I really am going crazy and Yunho is—

"Jongho?"

Well speak of the devil.

Jongho looks up with a hum from his chair when he sees Yunho entering the library's back corridor.

"Do you want to go fishing with me and the kids?" Yunho asks. "We're going farther down the river today, past the big waterfall, and I thought you might wanna join."

The afternoon sun is high as the two make their way through slushing snow. Behind them, a hoard of maybe twenty children and a few foxes follow down the path. Jongho notices how the branches above them are dripping, completely bare of snow. "Is winter already over?" He runs up to Yunho.

The older looks to him before answering. "No, it's just a warmer day today. We still have months before the frosts are past."

"What— what month is it now?" Jongho laughs, an embarrassed blush rises to his cheeks hiding under the guise of chilled weather. Did time really hold so little meaning here?

Yunho just smiles. "In the Gregorian calendar? Almost January."

It takes Jongho a moment to remember Gregorian is simply his regular calendar. "Do you not use that calendar system here?"

"No," Yunho replies. "We use the Dangun calendar. It's lunar and solar based so it's easier to know when to plant and stuff like that."

December? Jongho repeats in his mind. He wonders how his family is doing, especially the little ones. Those two always loved the holidays. "What abo...." Jongho lets his question trail off, hoping Yunho doesn't notice.

But of course, the older does. "What about what?" He prods.

"I was just wondering... about, like—" Jongho takes a deep sigh. "There's no Christmas?" He asks.

"Christmas?" Yunho confirms. "Some families here celebrate it, but most of us aren't Christian."

Jongho simply hums in reply, but Yunho has already caught his downcast eyes. "Oh," Yunho purses his lips in thought, "are you Christian? I'm sorry, I never thought to ask."

"N-no," Jongho stutters as he digs his feet into the patches of snow. "It's just that we always celebrated it."

"Why? If you don't mind me asking."

Of course, I don't mind. Jongho makes sure not to roll his eyes. You can ask me anything, pabo. "I don't know," Jongho sighs. "I guess everyone had Christmas, so we did too."

Yunho remembers reading about that, how Christmas was no longer religious to the secular world. Months of purchasing power in the hands of the gluttonous and months of guilt behind the eyes of parents already too far into poverty. Another game of capital.

But there's another side, isn't there? There always is. And that's what makes the world so difficult. All the shades of grey.

Yunho's heart softens as Jongho speaks his next words. "Even though all the food we had didn't taste as good as here, and the lights weren't as bright as the colors here... it was family. It was when we were all together, even Eomma."

It's hard for Yunho to imagine a life where his family isn't together.

"We can celebrate it together if you want?" Yunho offers, feeling a sadness blossom in his chest. "It might be fun. I've never done that so you could show me all the Christmas traditions!"

But Jongho shakes his head. "It's okay. You said it's almost January so it's probably too late now, anyway."

"Oppa, look!" Jiwoo shouts as she runs past the two young men. "The waterfall!" Her brother runs ahead tailed by the rest of the children as they cheer and shriek, sprinting toward the fall.

"Jongho-ya." Yunho reaches for the younger's shoulder once they're alone. "Do you wanna stay and talk about it more? The kids will be fine for a little."

"Nah," Jongno smiles, but Yunho bites his tongue to see the smile is a little forced. "I wanna go with them. I've never climbed a cliff before!"

"Hyungs, come on!" It's Jiyoung, now who calls from the base of the falls.

"Yeah, yeah!" Yunho shouts back. "Ready?" He turns to ask Jongho.

"Ready," the younger replies.

And he is. For the first time, Jongho might truly be ready.

Jiwoo and the other terras have a wonderfully easy scale up the cliff. They enchant the patches of crumbling sandstone to stay sturdy under their hands and create divots and shelves perfect for little climbers. With the terras' help, the floras and fluvi scramble quickly up the side, trusting in the roots and river, respectively, to catch them should they fall. The hands of young igni, aes, and corpi, however, take the height a little more slowly. As much as their enchantment is needed, their specific abilities may not be of much help should they slip.

Then there's Jongho. Jongho who is probably the most careful of all. Yunho has made the younger climb up in front of him, vines at the ready in case there is a slip. But Jongho is determined. The cliff isn't quite sheer, but still it's a tall endeavor, especially when his fingers are stiff due to cold. The higher he gets, he doesn't look down.

Finally, though, cheers erupt as Jongho pulls himself up over the ledge, Yunho following close behind.

Just as expected, the view is marvelous. Since they're no longer in the valley floor, some small mountain summits are at their same level and the sky has opened tremendously. Once again, the natural world is breathtaking.

From their small satchels, the children pull out different equipment. Nets and bundles of long, thin string. Some have small hunting knives. One of the older aes pulls out a tin before passing out fishing hooks to the children. Some others run off to collect long sticks to use as rods before running back and passing those out as well. Jongho watches in surprise. All the children laugh and tease one another during their preparations, but no actual communication is necessary.

Jongho sucks in a breath at the memory of his own youth, the things told over and over at school. "It is the duty of citizens of this world to work as one... It is your duty to work united for the betterment of capital..."

The scene before Jongho feels so entirely different from the dreary march of civilization he has always seen. Working together? No. Jongho always thought it was better to be outcasted. Maybe he could escape that way, escape the woeful ignorance and monotony.

But the teamwork unfolding here is at odds with his belief.

The children look happy together. It is closer to Minji's words. "Because helping is my purpose." She had said. A purpose. "Not forced, because that is not true to oneself. But rather, a passion which comes with ebbs and flows. One will not always be excited, because it most certainly is work, but one will feel whole."

Maybe... maybe that's true. Because even the children here seem whole.

"Jongho-ya!" Yunho calls out. "Do you want to learn?"

"All people have a purpose." Seonghwa had echoed the other anima's words. "But one's purpose will make them tranquil, so it is nothing to be anxious over."

"Learn to fish?" Jongho calls back, a little incredulous, but still walking over. "That sounds.... gross."

Yunho laughs, knocking their shoulders together. "You eat the fish, shouldn't you learn the process? Also, if you ever need to, you can provide for yourself." Jongho scrunches his face. "Though..." Yunho leans closer, whispering towards his ear, "I'll certainly provide for you."

A shiver surges through Jongho's chest, the affect of an erratic heart. A blush spreads quickly, heating his neck and cheeks to a dark red; not for the words, but for his inner reaction to the words.

Ridiculous.

Jongho pushes Yunho away with grumbled threats, to which, the older just laughs.

"But really," Yunho says, "come learn. The kids will be ecstatic~." As much as Jongho denies it, he's grown fond of those little twins.

"Fine. But I don't wanna touch it."

Yunho agrees. But Jongho forgot he still must dig up his own worms.

— • —

As the sun surfs the sky, Jongho decides he's had enough fishing and retires to the top of a boulder near the water's edge.

He caught a black shiner after a few tries in the beginning; even though the fish was small, he was quite excited until Yunho told him he had to release it, since shiners are an endangered species. The kids are having better luck and Jongho blames this entirely on the young fluvi who simply pluck the fish from the river with a glob of water. All the other kids, though, work as hard as Jongho has.

"May I join you?" A voice calls out, and Jongho looks down to see Yunho standing at the base of the boulder. Jongho nods.

Once Yunho climbs his way up the rock, he settles a small distance away from Jongho in silence.

A silence of the soul that Jongho revels in. The children still yell from below and farther down the falls roar and hawks fight with the sparrows overhead, yet it's silent. His mind, that is. His heart. At rest.

How beautifully, wonderfully, quiet.

Completely and totally in this present moment.

With Yunho seated next to him, they rest in silence together.

As he looks down over the water, one of the smaller children in the river catches Jongho's eye. Hyunjin, he thinks the ignis' name is. The child jumps around in the middle of the river across the large rocks. He makes a particularly daring leap onto a small rock right in the middle of the rushing water. Then, Jongho watches as he hesitates. Standing on his rock, Hyunjin looks around for a path forward. But he seems unable to find one.

Jongho's heart spikes in fear and he moves to climb down his own boulder with the intention of saving the child. But a hand on his shoulder holds him back.

"Let him work it out," Yunho says softly.

Jongho looks at him with confused eyes. "Shouldn't we help? What if he falls?"

"Then he falls." Yunho smiles softly

"But the water...."

"See those older kids by the edge?" Yunho juts his chin forward to point out a girl and boy close to the water. At first glance, the two seem to be minding their own business, but after a moment, one can easily tell how they keep a close eye on the child. "They're Hyunjin's sister and brother. So don't worry."

Jongho reluctantly sits back down.

Yunho closes his eyes, soaking in the rare day of sun. But Jongho watches the scene below closely. Hyunjin has yet to move from his rock.

The young boy seems to find a few options of where to go next, but none look particularly promising to Jongho. His heart stutters as he watches Hyunjin ready himself for a jump, but at the last moment, he hesitates, barely managing to keep his footing on the safety of his rock.

Again, Hyunjin attempts a jump. Again, he fails to follow through.

The child stomps in annoyance. But after that, Jongho watches as he takes a deep breath. Hyunjin scoots as far back on his rock as possible, and with a step and a leap, he jumps up to cling onto the large boulder above him. With shaking limbs, Hyunjin slowly climbs. Jongho waits, breath held in anticipation.

And Hyunjin reaches the top. Throwing his hands up in victory, Hyunjin's smile is one of triumph and pride as he jumps around the boulder. Jongho feels his own heart swell in pride and happiness right along with him.

"It's imperative that children explore." Yunho's eyes are open now, his own smile of pride gracing his lips. A smile Jongho finds utterly beautiful. "That they explore the world and the limitations of their own bodies and minds. If we had helped Hyunjin, he never would've known he could do it. That he has such an ability. That he's able to solve problems on his own."

Jongho nods, beginning to understand.

Yunho continues. "This doesn't mean there aren't many times when one should ask for help— we're social creatures after all— but this? This has grown Hyunjin's confidence to a new level. Plus," Yunho grins, finally looking over to Jongho, "look how happy he is!"

Sure enough, Jongho looks down to see the kid celebrating with his hyung and noona, singing a victory song.

And this... this is so very different from how Jongho grew up. He was always protected, always helped. Come to think of it, he has absolutely no idea of his abilities and limitations.

Jongho thinks back to, again, what feels like lifetimes ago. To those formative talks with the strange man and his pigeons. "humans always have to learn on their own," the man had said with spite. Yet certainly, in some situations, there is much benefit.

"Doing things on your own," Yunho speaks again, "problem solving, is the birth of creativity.  There is balance, like in everything. One must work on the shoulders of others, but also one must have the chance to nurture their own ideas."

— • —

As the sun wanes, the smell of roasting fish and smoke fills Jongho's senses. Jongho would have thought the combination would make him nauseous, but it's actually rather delicious. Maybe he's just hungry.

Which would make sense, since it's late afternoon and he's been running all around cliff edges and mountain rivers with the kids.

Now, Jongho leans against a rock close to the fire. Yunho tends to the fish and some igni stay close to keep the flames alive. His eyes drift a little farther away across the smooth rock, to the small group of kids still working diligently to scale and prep the fish. He expected Yunho to do it all. He expected the children, even the older ones of fourteen or fifteen years old, to be squeamish.

Instead, Jongho watches as they're quiet in their process. it's a little scary to see how skilled some of the olders are with their knives. Yet, their movements are precise for a reason: a solemn respect for the small life they take. He noticed this earlier, too, with the worms. How the kids inhaled deeply with pain as they stuck their worms onto hooks.

"First batch is ready!" Jiwoo shouts. Bringing everyone's attention to Yunho as he slides the large fillets off the skewers onto cloth napkins.

"No, no." Jongho pushes the napkin away when Yunho hands it to him. "Let the kids eat first. There's not enough yet. I'll wait till the second round."

Yunho just pushes the fish towards him again. "They'll be fine for ten more minutes. Eat. It's yummy."

So, biting his tongue, Jongho takes the napkin. Being first is kind of worth it, though, once he takes a bite because, oh goodness, the smoky and flaking sturgeon basically melts in his mouth.

Soon, everyone is eating and laughing together around the warm flames.

"I still can hardly believe it's winter." Jongho says to Yunho as the older takes a seat next to him. "It feels so warm today."

"Didn't you have days like this where you're from?" Yunho asks.

Jongho tries to think back. Still, the city feels like a half-forgotten life. "I mean, I guess, but I never really noticed since I was in school the whole time. The winter always looked half melted and dreary anyway. But I guess that makes sense because everything is dead."

Yunho chokes on his fish. "Dead?" He all but shouts with a full mouth. Jongho swears he feels a fleck of sturgeon land on his face. He ignores it. Yunho swallows quickly after a slight coughing fit. "Winter isn't dead. The ground is never dead." To Jongho, Yunho sounds rather horrendously offended. "Except where it's buried under asphalt and all that sort of thing, there's always something or someone in the ground very much alive."

When Yunho notices, the younger's wide and confused eyes, he clears his throat with a quickly forming blush. "Sorry, I- I just mean... here," Yunho clicks his tongue, "watch this."

Yunho places his palm flat on the ground, humming softly. And Jongho waits. He waits a good while, actually, before he gasps as a sprout pokes through the frozen ground. It grows faster now, tall above their heads as a large blossom forms. It blooms into something so large and gloriously yellow. Jongho stands up to hold the petals between his hands.

"Is this a real flower?" Jongho asks in awe.

"Yes," Yunho laughs, "I can't makes anything on my own, only enchant what already exists in the soil. This is a sunflower. We have them in the greenhouses," Yunho informs, "I guess you've never been to that part. I'll take you when we're free."

"Its seed was already under the dirt?" Jongho asks.

"Mhmm. Everything, even the trees that seem grey and dead, they're full of life on the inside. Because everything has a season, coming and going of feelings and thoughts." Yunho stands, too, now. He reaches out and breaks the sunflower's stem, handing the flower to Jongho with a smile. "Even if you sometimes look or feel bad on the outside, don't worry, because there's always life within you."

Jongho takes the flower in his hands. This is weird. His insides feel funny, like butterflies and carousels but more.

Ridiculous.

•

12-26-23 3k words.

Another chapter!!! I'm happy. What are your thoughts on Yunho's response to Hyunjin's predicament?