It had been too long since the accident.

I should've gotten over myself by now. I should've carried on with my life as usual. Every fibre of my being was screaming for me to quit this nonsense, to continue living as I had before. But there was this incessant little voice in my head which told me that I couldn't. I couldn't be who I once was. I couldn't go on being who I had been. I had changed. There was no going back.

Numerous thoughts spun around in my mind as I gazed at myself in the mirror. What a forlorn figure looked back at me! I leaned forward against the bathroom sink and probed at my cheeks, watching as my skin formed wrinkles beneath my eyes. I sighed and stepped back, running a hand through my thick, brown hair.

A few months ago, a girl, vibrant with energy and life stood in this exact same place and smiled at herself in the mirror. She had the entire world at her fingertips. She had just gotten her first job and had started her last year of school. From there, it would be on to college, obtaining a degree and much more.

Then, suddenly, just like that, everything changed.

No one warned me about the drunk driver who would hit our family car that night. No one warned me that while I was lying, unconscious, on a hospital bed, that I would lose everyone I loved. No one warned me, when I walked back into school after all those months, that not a single person would dare to approach me. No one warned me that I'd lose my job, move into foster care, and suffer a traumatic mental illness. It just happened.

And now? I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human being.

Without a sound, I turned away from the mirror and slipped out of the bathroom. I walked softly down the hallway towards my room but was interrupted by the sounds of shouting coming from below stairs.

I tip-toed over to the stair railing and peered down, my line of sight going through the kitchen's partially opened door. My foster mum and dad were screaming and shouting at each other. From what I could hear, my foster dad had been out late, drinking, probably, and my foster mum had caught him red-headed. Again. Nothing new there.

I frowned as I glanced down at my wrist-watch. It was 2am in the morning. Biting my lip, I retreated silently back into the comforting blackness of my room.

As I rocked back and forth on my bed, my arms clasped tightly around my knees, I heard the voice, the voice that wouldn't leave me alone:

"Tessa, I'm back. You know I could never leave you, right? I'm always going to be right here next to you, haunting you in your dreams, tormenting you in your every waking hour. You can't get rid of me ... ever.

"Look at yourself, Tessa, you're pathetic. Everything you do, everything about you – pathetic. You'll never be a journalist. You'll never conquer your fears or fulfil your dreams. You'll never get to meet Mr. Right. You're fat, ugly, insecure, emotional, disconcerted ... there's nothing good about you."

"Stop it!" I whispered desperately into the darkness that surrounded me. "Please ... just stop it."

"You know I'll never just 'stop it', Tessa. C'mon, I thought you were smarter than that! I'll never stop hurting you. You deserve it, every bit of it. You killed your family."

"It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault!" I sobbed, burying my face in my knees. "Just ignore it and it'll go away. Just ignore it!"

"Pffftttt," the voice mocked. "Are you serious? Just ignore it and it'll go away? I'll NEVER go away!"

The sound of loud footsteps stomping up the stairs jerked me from my pitiful state. Hurriedly, I dove underneath my bed covers and closed my eyes, waiting with baited breath as the shadow of my foster dad fell across my bedroom floor.

For a moment, he hesitated, as if contemplating whether or not he should barge in and beat me like he'd done in the past. However, he must've decided against it, for he continued walking.

I breathed a sigh of relief and let my shoulders sag against the bedsheets. Would morning ever come?

My foster Dad was still in a drunken sleep when I left the house for school that morning. Of that, I could be grateful at least.

As I boarded the bus that would take me to that hell-hole, preferably known as "George Middleton High School", I plugged my head-phones in. At least I could drown out the voice if I had music on.

I shuffled my way down the aisle and chose an abandoned seat down the back next to the window. The entire 45 minute drive, I was alone, with just my phone, my music and me. The bus rides where the highlight of my day. It was the only place I could find sanctuary, the only place I could actually, truly be alone.

Unfortunately, I was a full 15 minutes late to first period, which meant I was cleaning the whiteboards in Mr Davis' class later that afternoon. Just my luck.

As I fumbled around with my locker at lunch, I overheard a group of popular girls giggling over some new, hot guy they'd seen in the cafeteria. Could this day get any worse?

I entered the cafeteria on silent feet, as always, and timidly scanned the room as I lined up for my food. There was barely a single, unoccupied table anywhere. It seemed that the entire campus was in here! It was too loud, too noisy. I couldn't stay here.

"Go on, Tessa, leave. You know nobody actually wants you here. They're just putting up with you because they feel sorry for you. See that food you're about to grab? Why are you going to eat that? Look at you! You're so fat you don't need the extra calories. You don't need food at all. Go on, put it down, and starve yourself. Maybe then, you'll feel just a little more secure! But, deep down, you still know no one's going to accept you for who you are. You're too weird. They don't like you. Leave!"

Choking down a sob, I whirled around and dashed out of the room, leaving my wallet on the cafeteria bench.

I went straight to the one and only spot on all of campus that could soothe me: the library. I settled myself on one of the window seats and stared at my phone screen with blurry, tear-filled eyes. Not even my playlist could save me this time. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall as the voice bombarded me once more.

"I told you I would never leave you. I'll always be here with you, Tessa. I'm not going anywhere ... but don't you see? This is a situation of where YOU'LL go. See that scene you made back in the lunch-room? Everyone saw that. They think you're weak, pathetic, ugly. You're so full of emptiness and sadness, it's just depressing to watch. Who knows when the next beating will be? The next mockery? The next looking-into-the-mirror episode? Your life's just a complete waste of time. All it does is go around in circles. I've had enough of this and I know you have too.

"Open your eyes, Tess, there's an open window right next to your head. It won't take much to jump through it. Just end your life, Tessa. It's not worth living anyway. At least, if you die, you'll get to be with the people you loved the most. It'll be better up there than it is down here. This is hell. It's as bad as it gets. If you jump, you could be free, free from the pain, the suffering, the anxiety that binds you, that shackles you to the ground, that bears you down until you can no longer stand. Jump, Tessa, jump!"

"TESSA! WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

My eyes widened in horror and I sucked in a startled gasp. I was sitting on the windowsill, ready to jump the 3 stories down to a most certain death. I had listened to the voice. I was about to end my life, once and for all.

"Tessa!! No!!"

I felt a pair of strong arms being wrapped around my waist. I felt myself being pulled to the ground. I felt myself sobbing, crying, pleading for them to let go, for me to die. I felt someone's hand running through my hair and whispering words of comfort in my ears. I heard the sirens. I heard the panicked voices, the running feet, the screams ... but it was all smudged into a blur. I couldn't focus amidst the haze that'd settled over me. Then the inky blackness descended like a blanket and for the first time in a very long time, I felt peace ... because I felt nothing.

______

BEEP. BEEP.

It was the first sound I heard as my mind wandered back into the land of consciousness. Slowly, I opened my eyes. I was in a hospital bed, tubes protruding from my nose and wrists. I was hooked up to numerous machines that were keeping a full tally on my beating heart, my breathing and my influx of fluids. 

"She's awake, doctor," a soft, feminine voice pronounced.

I tried to shift my head to look at the white-clothed nurse who was standing beside me, but I couldn't, my body wouldn't physically react. So, I just gave up and waited, as I heard the approaching footsteps of the medic.

He said a lot of things I didn't understand. Something about me collapsing from low blood pressure due to lack of food. But I couldn't care less. I just wanted to know why I was still alive when I was so close to ending it all.

My foster parents didn't come to visit me, to see if I was okay. No one did. No one, that is, except for Ella. Even though she was a very off-in-the-clouds kind of person and flitted from friend to friend, she'd been the only rock I could hold onto in this storm. She was the one who'd appeared and screamed my name as I was about to jump.

"Why didn't you just let me die?" I questioned her as she stepped into the squeaky-clean hospital room that I was lying in.

"I couldn't," she responded tearfully. "Tessa, no one realised how much you were going through. But I should've known. I should've been the first person you talked too. You won't need to worry anymore. The police are taking you out of your foster parents' home. You're coming to live with me."

I stared at her, wide-eyed. "W-what? Ella ... I'm coming to stay with you?"

She smiled. "Yes. And I'm going to make sure nothing awful will ever happen to you again. I've been a terrible friend. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

I nodded my head vigorously. "Ella, you've been the only one I've ever felt comfortable talking too since the accident. You don't need to say sorry."

Ella sighed as she stood up to leave. "By the way, when you come back to school, you better thank Calvin for what he did for you."

"Calvin?"

"He's the new guy. He was the one who saved you, who pulled you back from the window. Without him, you would be dead right now. Well, I'd better go. I'll come back tomorrow, though, okay?"

Tears of joy sprung to my eyes. Maybe, just maybe, I could look into the mirror again and smile ... because I had gotten a second chance - at life.

THE END