"Is it me or the drugs, cause Yeager looks hot...?"

Keith raised an invisable eyebrow, looking at Emma. "What drugs? And where can I get some?"

"The second you use the speech I've given you is when I'll hand some to you." Emma bargained, holding a hand out.

"Fine." Keith muttered as he took a few steps onto a raised platform. He saluted, the cadets copying.

"Why is Emma not doing anything?" Armin whispered.

"Because she is the instructor's favourite." Mikasa replied as she kept a straight face.

"The last few years has been..." Keith started. "A bucket of shit! I put in an order to the empire to send me a shit load of badasses and pillage hungry murder machines. Instead, I got you cupcake cockclowns and a side order of fucknuggets!"

Emma was trying not to die from laughter, seeing the shocked faces of her comrades.

"When I saw you, I could tell in a glance thst at least 50% of you were, and are, cocksuckers and the other 50% are cocksuckers who've never been told to believe in themselves! I have tried to shove my boot so far and fast up your assholes it would trigger a geological event!"

Emma was actually ready to faint from air loss. She loved ASOT's sarge and now she loved this sarge.

'Sweet mother Jane on a merciades benz.'

"You all reek of poverty and animal abuse!" Keith roared, making many of the cadets flinch. He was begining to enjoy this. "Every breath you take is a stunning endorsement of abortion. You shit stains are a collective master piece of failure. You cockgoblins circle jerk each other to exhaustion every night,"

Many of the males winced in horror, making Emma let out a wheeze.

"You signed up to get pounded by the titans and probably cried like sissies when you realised that the don't have dicks! Your sensitive pussies cried so many tears you could float away on a river of douche canoes! I am looking at you, Kirstein." The said male looked ready to cry.

"You glitter-toed, cock wrangling fairytinkle fagpuffin fuckpuppets are got your collective anal cavities stretched so far apart you'd think you just got double fisted by the colossal titan himself!"

"VOLDEMORT TITAN!" Emma howled as she fell to her knees, hitting the ground as she laughed.

It took a good hour or so for Keith to finish his speech, earning many scarred minds and a few weary titan shifters.

"Alright, Smith. Hand 'em over." Emma slapped a few bags into Keith's hand.

"It is sugar, be warned. It fucks you right up."

---

"So, that is what Shadis actually said?" Hanji asked with wide eyes.

Emma grinned, lifting her phone. "I got it all on camera!"

---

"Oi! Dick bitch!"

Levi turned around just as Emma ran up to him, scowling at the sight of her. Erwin smiled calmly when he saw her.

"Good evening, Cadet." Erwin greeted.

"Call me Emma," Emma replied, waving her hand. "And no, we are not related."

Erwin's face dropped slightly. 'How did she know I wanted to ask that?'

"Anyway, dick bitch. I need to know something," Emma leaned closer to Levi with a serious look. "Can you strip?"

Erwin choked on air as Levi blinked, looking mildly horrified.

"Yes, Cadet... I can in fact... strip." Levi drawled, leaning away from the annoying girl.

Emma grinned, straightening up. It took both males to realise that she was actually quite close to Erwin's height, even if she was years younger.

"Good! Christa is holding a orgy in the girls dormitory over at camp and we need a midgit stripper. Connie can't because he doesn't meet the needs and Armin won't go anywhere near me."

"You...," Erwin mumbled. "Came all this way.... to ask Levi to be a midgit stripper...?"

---

Keith gwaffed as he watched Hanji put bandages around Emma's skull, slapping the table repeatedly.

"Y-You actually asked!" He howled.

"I need to get the references out now before I lose the opportunity." Emma replied, wincing as Hanji added another layer.

Keith sobered up rather quickly at that, raising an eyebrow. "'Lose the opportunity?"

"Trost is coming soon." Was all that Emma said as Hanji shared a grim look with Keith. They both knew everything that Emma knew and both kept the secrets till the day the will die.

Hanji nodded quietly, finishing the bandages. "We should figure out if you are a titan shifter."

Emma choked on her own spit, launching her body forward in shock.

"W-What!?"

"You said that most fanfictions you've read have the main character be overpowered in one way or another. Even if it is in the brain department," Hanji started, standing up. "You are not the smartest-" Emma sent her a small betrayed look. "-nor gifted with the 3DM gear. So that only leaves titan shifting left."

Emma coughed into her fist." Actually... I think I do have an ability."

Keith leaned forward.

"And that is?" He asked.

"Titans seem to ignore me or hate the taste of me." Emma sheepishly revealed.

Hanji nodded as her hand went to her chin.

"That explains Sagawa and Issei." Hanji murmered, begining to pace. Emma watched as Hanji began to mutter theories to herself.

"Well," Keith called out to the two women. "I think there is something we should do in the future."

"And that is?" Emma asked, standing up. She winced at the sharp pain in her arm.

"All three of us need to leave the walls."

---

"Titans have entered the wall!"

Emma froze at the yell, turning to see the gaping hole. Her automatic responce was to yell at everyone to get away, rushing to push civilians towards Wall Sheena.

"Go!" She screamed, herding the people. Someone landed next to her, a commanding officer.

"Cadet Smith, you need to go get your assignment." He said. Emma turned her head slightly to look at him, her eyes wide.

"People are going to die if I leave," She whispered with a small hint of malice. "I am getting everyone into Wall Sheena before the titans get them. So you best stay the hell out of my way as I do my duty as a solider, Sir."

Emma let out a high pitched whistle as she leapt off the building she was on, landing in the road. A sound of hooves hitting the cobblestone came up next to her, showing Jamison.

"Get as many people near the walls to Wall Sheena as possible, Jamison. We need to go," Emma mumbled to the horse. She lifted her arm, which held a flare gun, and shot a bright purple flare. "Every civilian was taught this one from when I appeared."

The purple flare was shared around through legends that Keith started, the simple meaning being to go to the next wall; titans have breached the walls.

"GO!" Emma ordered the horse as she saw the first titan stumble through the giant hole. "Pray for us... Dark Over Lord Armin."

Tears dropped from her eyes as she tried to lighten the panicking civilians with random jokes. She only hoped that she put even a small dent on the original casualty list.