Thank you so much to the top 20 gifters in KUMU! 

This chapter is dedicated to:

anielakit_, clydenfan, cy_m, _xyrah, elaravaleria, libramaui, arkinswife, only4clyden_, x_charmine, tiffanyleanne, genevieveparas, theolavins, mauiposa, miquelle.ai, hnnx, tineplums, reencly, avriellejuarez, theolavin, pschnnh_! 

Follow me on KUMU: gwy.saludes for more sessions like this. 

***

"Si Clea ba 'yan? She's going to study here already?" 

I looked down again while walking through the hallway, tightening my grip on my shoulder bag. I was trying to find my room since it was the first day of school. I was finally given a chance to experience the highschool life that I wanted.

Ever since I was a child, I was already exposed to the show business industry since my dad is an actor and my mom was also an actress and a model. I already appeared in movies when I was 3 years old. I played a role as a couple's daughter. 

I did not choose this life... It was just already made for me. It was already there ever since I was born. It was completely laid out in front of me. Ang gagawin ko na lang ay maglakad pataas nang pataas hanggang sa makarating sa tuktok ng industriyang 'to. 

I was awarded a lot from being a great child actress. I was versatile and I could adapt well. While kids my age were peacefully enrolled in an elementary school, I was attending an acting school. I was home-schooled ever since I was a child and this was only my first time attending a real school. Heinrich International School. 

"Hi, Clea! Can we get a picture?" a guy teased while I was walking. 

I did not talk and just entered my room. As soon as my classmates saw me, all of them stopped and just stared at me as I walked to an empty seat. It was like they were starstruck to see me. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Umupo lang ako at tumingin sa harapan. I wanted to make friends but I was scared that they will just use me and betray me in the end. 

My parents always told me to pick my friends because the people I will get close with will also tell a lot about me as a person, and the industry I was in would love that. They would love to get some intel about me in school. People will get curious on my personality and attitude outside set... so I still could not be myself. There will always be a pair of eyes watching me everywhere I go. 

I was acting every day, every hour, every minute... and I was self-conscious all the time so I remained silent the whole day. No one also tried to talk to me and get a picture. It was... so lonely. I wanted to be alone so during lunch time, I went up the stairs and saw a door at the end of the hallway. 

DO NOT ENTER. A sign was hanging on the knob but it was slightly opened already. When I looked, it was another set of stairs so I went up again until I reached the end. Isang pulang pinto na naman 'yon at pagkalabas ko, sinalubong ako ng malakas na hangin. It reached the top of the building. The rooftop. 

I looked around and saw no one so I went to the edge and sat on the floor with my back against the metal railings. Nilapag ko ang bag ko sa gilid at kinuha ang lunch box na dala ko. My mom said eating outside food might be dangerous because what if someone would try to poison me? It was absurd. Why would they? 

She said people will go lengths just to be in the same position as me. I doubted that. I would do anything just to live as a normal student. 

"High school is boring," I shouted to the air. It was not the same as the movies. No one could talk to me. No one tried to approach me, except when they would ask for an autograph or pictures. 

"It's not boring!" I heard a girl on my side. 

Napatingin kaagad ako sa gilid ko at nakita siyang naglalakad palapit. Sinandal niya ang mga braso niya sa railings at tumingin sa malayo, nakangiti. 

"Who are you?" I asked her, nakakunot ang noo. I thought I was alone here. 

"Who are you?" she asked me back. Napaawang ang labi ko sa tanong niya. Mukhang seryoso pa siya at nakataas ang kilay sa akin. 

"You don't know me?" 

"You also don't know me?" binalik niya na naman sa akin. 

Ang gulo naman niya kausap. Hindi na lang ako sumagot at sinubukang kumain pero wala akong gana kaya itatago ko na sana. "Pahingi!" Umupo siya sa tabi ko at kinuha ang lunch box ko. 

I smelled an expensive perfume from her. I knew all the students in this school had money but she did not just look rich. She looked... familiar. I was getting the same vibes as me from her. 

The vest from our uniform was tied around her waist, leaving her with the white fitted blouse. Her hair was long and in curls. She looked like the typical queen bee in movies. May headband pa. 

"I'm Giselle... Giselle Amari Davis," pagpapakilala niya sa akin. "3rd year..." Tumingin siya sa I.D ko. "Clea Zorel Aguilar. Nice name. You sound familiar to me." 

"Are you a model?" I had the urge to ask already. She looked like one of the child runway models I saw on my feed. 

"Yeah, I'm modeling from time to time. Are you a model? An actress maybe?" Kumunot din ang noo niya sa akin. "Oh, wait! I know you now! You starred in my favorite movie! You were the annoying kid there!"

"Which one? I was an annoying kid a lot of times." I laughed a bit. She smiled and gave me back my lunch box, telling me to eat. 

And that was how I made my first friend on my first day. Ever since that day, Giselle and I would hang out a lot in the rooftop. We were on the same year but we were from different sections so we could only hangout during break time. 

"Come on! It's going to be fun! My friend will play!" Giselle was pulling my hand as we walked by the people on their seats in this large football stadium. "Let's cheer for our school!" 

Umupo na lang ako sa empty seat na ni-reserve niya para sa amin. Ang lapit pala ng view namin sa football field kaya kitang-kita ko talaga ang players. I found sports boring so I was not interested to watch but Giselle looked so thrilled so I cancelled one of my schedule for this. Narito rin ang schoolmates namin para mag-cheer sa football team namin. 

"There are so many hot guys, right?" Giselle looked so excited. 

"Eh," I said, uninterested. 

I was so bored until it started and the players started lining up. I was already looking at the tallest one with jersey number 10. Hindi ko masyadong makita ang mukha dahil nasa gitna sila ng field. He just caught my attention because he was tall. 

The game started so I turned my phone off and just watched. Hindi ko alam kung sino ang panonoorin ko dahil ang dami nila. Nakiki-cheer na lang ako tuwing nakaka-goal kami. We were at an advantage but I could not care less about it. 

My mom was calling when I opened my phone so I could not ignore it. "Mom?" I covered my other ear and turned to the side. "I can't hear you well. I'm at a game! Mom?"

"Clea, look out!" 

"Mom, I-" The phone flew out of my hand as soon as a ball hit my head. Everyone gasped and Giselle quickly stood up to get my phone before making sure that I was okay. I was fine. I was just shocked. 

"I'm so sorry." Jersey number 10 put his arms on the railings because that was the nearest he could go. "I'll pay for your phone!" 

Oh my gosh. I could not help but stare at him with wide eyes. I could finally take a closer look on his face. Gosh, he was dreamy! Nice hair, nice built, navy blue jersey, high socks, black expensive cleats, sweaty body. 

Binato ni Giselle pabalik ang bola at ngumiti naman 'yong lalaki, nagpasalamat, at umalis na. I was still staring at him like I just saw a Greek god. "Are you okay? You hit your head. Oh no! You're not responding anymore!"

"Who's that guy?" I asked Giselle, not taking my eyes off jersey number 10. 

"That's Adonis Saide Figueroa, Number 10. 3rd year. He's been playing football since 1st year! One of their greatest players!" Giselle told me. 

"I..." I held my chest. "I think I have a highschool crush now." 

My heart was beating so fast! It was rare for me to get starstruck because all my life, I was working with famous artists, but that guy... Dang! We won the game that day but he also won my heart!

I started looking for him in school. He was from another section too! Every day, I started going to school happily because I could take a glance of him. Pumupunta na rin akong cafeteria at pinipilit kumain doon dahil doon siya nagla-lunch. Late na rin ako nakakauwi dahil sumisilip ako sa training nila sa football field ng school. 

"You're all over him," Giselle commented. "We have a common friend. Do you want me to introduce you?"

"Giselle! Oh my gosh, no!" I was so scared and nervous but she started pulling my wrist towards the football field. Nagpapahinga ang players sa training nila at nagkukulitan lang. Hiyang-hiya ako nang makarating kami sa tapat nila at nagtinginan sila sa akin. 

"Oh, si ano!" sabi noong isa, hindi pa maalala ang pangalan ko. 

Giselle talked to her friend, whispering something, and then the friend whispered to Adonis too. Hindi ko alam ang pinag-uusapan nila. Seeing Adonis so close made me want to faint. 

"Adi, this is Clea. Clea, this is Adi," mapang-asar na sabi ng kaibigan ni Giselle. I did not know how to act! Nanginginig pa ang mga kamay ko. "Adi, you probably know her already. You've seen her a lot in TV." 

"Ah, siya pala 'yon! Hi!" He offered his hand and smiled at me. Siniko pa 'ko ni Giselle dahil hindi ako gumagalaw. 

"Hello..." Tinanggap ko ang kamay niya. His grip was soft before he let me go and drank on his water bottle again. He was different from the other guys I was introduced to. Usually, they would be interested in having a conversation with me but he just... he just... ignored me again after that. 

I guess we could say that I was thrilled. I wondered how he could ignore me when people wanted my attention so bad. 

"Thinking of something?" My cousin, Samantha, sat beside me during a family event. I just smiled at her and shook my head. "Really? I could tell you're thinking of something... or someone. Yieee!" 

"No! I was just..." Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang sarili ko. "Okay, so there's this guy. I have a crush on him but even after being introduced to each other, it seems like he does not care... Like he does not even give the slightest interest. I get confessions everyday in school but he does not seem to have a crush on me! How?!" 

"Well, maybe he has a crush on someone else?" Sam asked. 

"No, Giselle said her friend asked and the guy said no." Napailing ako. "I want him to have a crush on me! What should I do?!" 

"Is he even that pogi?" nagtatakang tanong niya sa akin. "Well... You're like the prettiest woman I know. You can use your charms on him!" 

"It does not work!" reklamo ko ulit. 

I started thinking of ways on how to get his attention. I would always pass by the field whenever they would have training but he was always looking away. Binabati ko rin siya kapag nagkikita kami sa cafeteria pero kumakaway lang siya at hindi na ulit ako kinakausap. It went on and on until we reached 4th year. 

I was so happy when the teacher announced that there will be a fieldtrip and our section will merge with the other sections when it comes to the schedule pero different pa rin kami ng buses. It annoyed me so much! Sayang! 

After all those educational trips, we finally had the time to have fun in the mall! Giselle and I planned to ice-skate. I learned figure skating for a movie so I did not have a hard time getting on the rink but Giselle needed help. 

"Adi and his friends are here," Giselle whispered to me. "Go, go! I'm fine here!" She was holding onto the railings. 

I intentionally passed by their side to get a glance of him but he suddenly went backwards while I was speeding so I tried to brake and we both fell on the floor. Napapikit ako, inaasahan ang sakit sa ulo ko pero naramdaman ko lang ang kamay niya. When I opened my eyes, I saw him staring at me with his hand at the back of my head.

"Are you okay?" nag-aalalang tanong niya. "Sorry talaga! Hindi ko napansin! Sorry!" Tumayo siya pero nadulas na naman kaya bumagsak na naman siya sa akin. 

"Let me get up first," I told him. Umayos siya ng upo at tumayo naman ako para malahad ko ang kamay ko sa kaniya. "Your hands are so cold. Do you have gloves?" I asked. 

"Ah, wala..." Tiningnan niya ang mga kamay niyang namumula na dahil nahawakan ang ice noong natumba. Tinanggal ko ang gloves ko at binigay sa kaniya. It was too big for me anyway. 'Yong kay Daddy pala ang nadala ko. 

"Here." Sinuot ko pa sa kaniya iyon habang nakatulala siya sa akin. "See you around." I winked and then went back to Giselle. 

Halos mahimatay ako nang makabalik ako sa gilid. That was the longest conversation we had and also the closest we had been! I felt apologetic to Dad dahil pinamigay ko ang gloves niya but oh my gosh! That conversation! That experience! My confidence! 

"He smells good," I told Giselle. 

My cousin said confidence was attractive so I tried my best to keep my head up high. I would make moves to Adonis. I would bake him cookies and while I was at it, I would fix his necktie. He should already like me! 

"Ang sarap ng cookies na binake mo. Binigyan ko nga mga friends ko kaya naubos. Isa lang nakain ko pero masarap!" sabi niya sa akin nang ibalik 'yong lalagyan. 

"You gave it to your friends?!" reklamo ko. That was for him! This guy, really! 

"Huh? 'Di ka ba nagpapa-judge ng luto? Ayos 'yon para marami kang feedback sa amin! Ang sabi ng kaklase ko, masyado raw matamis... tapos ang sabi naman noong isa, kulang pa raw sa luto... tapos sabi rin noong isa..." He told me all the feedback on my cookies! Nakaawang lang ang labi ko, hindi makapaniwala sa kaniya. 

It was for you, dummy! He thought I wanted everyone to taste it and just gave it to him so he could distribute?! How could he not think that I had hidden intentions! 

"Thank you, ah," I told him before rolling my eyes and marching back to my class room.

"Huh?! Galit ka ba?! Hey!" tawag niya sa akin. "Masarap naman para sa 'kin, ah! Sila 'yong nagsasabing hilaw!" 

Tinakpan ko na ang tainga ko at hindi na siya pinansin. He pissed me off but I still tried to make moves on him. I would like his pictures and also comment but he will just like my comment and not even reply! 

"I give up. Hindi siya bumibigay," I told Giselle.

"Just confess so you can let go of your feelings after graduation!" Giselle told me. "If hindi ka pa rin nagugustuhan ng tao pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa mo, hindi ka lang talaga niya gusto. If a man likes you, he likes you. If not, then he doesn't. Just let go of him!" 

I lost focus on him because I had to prepare for my college entrance exams. I requested for my parents to at least let me go to college. I knew what I wanted to take. I was always interested in medical dramas. 

"Mom, I passed..." I showed her the result. "UP Manila. BS Pharmacy."

"How about your career?" she asked immediately. "You'll have no time for your shoots anymore. Are you going to take a break? Remember that when you take a break from your career, you might not go back to the same position as you have now." 

"I'll try to do it at the same time," I told her. "I really want to study." 

"It's up to you, dear... Just always set your priorities straight." 

Was she talking about putting my career first than my studies? It was always that way. Career will come first for my parents. I understood... because I also worked so hard to be where I was. Rather than playing outside, I would memorize my script. Hindi pwedeng makipaglaro at baka madapa. Baka masugatan. It will not look good in the camera. Bawal kumain ng mga gusto ko. Only healthy foods for my skin. Bawal pumili ng damit. The stylist should pick it for me. 

I had lived that life long enough. Nasanay na lang ako. I had nowhere to go but up. Ang hirap na ng pinagdaanan ko para makarating dito... I cannot give it away or else all efforts will come to waste. 

I experienced going to prom, but Adi did not attend prom so I just got bored there. The next special event was the graduation. I planned to confess just like what Giselle said so I could finally let go... but a part of me was hoping that he would reciprocate my feelings. 

"Can we talk?" I asked Adi after the ceremony. Everyone was going to their families but here I was, grabbing his arm. "This will be short." 

"Hmm, yeah?" He smiled at me while holding his graduation hat. 

"So... I just want to tell you that... I... I..." I played with my hands. I couldn't say it. "I..."

"You like me," he finished it for me. My lips parted and looked at him with so much surprise. "Right? 'Yon 'yong sasabihin mo?" 

"Yes." Napabuntong-hininga ako at umiwas ng tingin. "I like you." 

"It was pretty obvious from the start..." He let out a short laugh and tapped my shoulder twice. "Thank you for liking me. I really appreciate it. I hope to see you around and good luck on your career!" After that, his friends grabbed his arm so they could take a picture.

I was left there in shock. What? What did he just say?! 

Thank you for liking me?! I really appreciate it?! What the hell! I did not say that so he could appreciate me! What in the world... Oh my gosh. I was out of words. I could not help but scoff. "How dare he... How dare he!" Inis akong napapadyak bago umalis ng venue. 

"Clea, pa-picture-" Nilagpasan ko ang mga batchmates kong nanghihingi ng picture at tuloy-tuloy lang na lumabas, inis na inis. 

That was my first rejection ever. Brands never even rejected me. I was always accepted in auditions too. How dare he reject me like that?! He appreciated it?! No, he did not! He was just sugar-coating his words! He wanted to say 'You like me? Oh, sorry, I do not like you. Leave me alone.' 

"So annoying!" I screamed at the rooftop. "I will be better until you look up to me and regret that you rejected me!" 

That became my motivation to go up and up and up in the industry until I became the most recognized, the most famous actress in my generation. Everyone loved me. Everyone looked up to me. Everyone respected me. My time and attention were valuable. 

"I love you so much, Clea! Ang ganda mo talaga sa personal!" 

Napangiti na lang ako sa isang fan pagkatapos kong malagyan ng sign ang poster niya. It was a meet and greet event for my fans. Nangangawit na ako kakangiti pero sanay na ako sa ganito. I was trained to do this. To keep a smile until my lips quiver. 

"Next na po," the staff said.

"Uh, sorry, nawawala 'yong kapatid ko. Hindi dapat ako-"

"Next na po, please. Mahaba pa ang pila." 

I was drinking water while waiting for the next fan... but I was not expecting to see a guy. Not just any guy... but this damn guy! Muntik ko nang madura sa kaniya ang iniinom kong tubig nang makita siya sa harapan ko. He was so tall that he could get anyone's attention in a second. He looked so shy while standing there.

"Iniwan ako ng kapatid ko sa pila... Can you sign this for her?" he even explained why he was there. 

I was annoyed but my heart could not stop beating fast. I saw him again! What the hell! He looked so much better than he was in highschool! How could that be possible? I thought he already peaked! 

"Name?" I asked. 

"Aniela," he said. "Can you write her name with a heart? Also put something like... Uh..."

"Like?" I asked while signing on the poster.

"I love you," he said. My hand suddenly stopped writing as my heart started wilding. Calm down! Oh my gosh! That sounded so good on my ears! "Can you put that for her?" he continued. 

Hindi ako nagsalita at sinulat na lang 'yon para sa kapatid niya. He kept on looking around for her sister, getting nervous. 

"Do you want me to announce her name?" I asked after giving back the poster.

"Can you do that? She's really young. If she gets lost, I..." He looked really worried. 

"Will you do me a favor back?" I asked, getting my hopes up. "Like grant me a date?"

"Yeah," he unconsciously replied while looking around. Nang matauhan siya, lumingon ulit siya sa akin. "Wait, what?"  

"Aniela Figueroa, please come to the stage. Aniela?" I announced on the microphone. Everyone screamed just by hearing my voice. "I'll text you," I mouthed to Adi.

"How do you even know my number?" nagtatakang tanong niya. 

I did not answer and just smirked when his sister called from the side of the stage. Napatakbo kaagad siya pababa at binuhat 'yong kapatid niya para madala sa akin. I smiled at the kid and pinched her cheek, telling how pretty she was. She looked starstruck. 

But I got myself a damn date. I never expected this event to turn like that! I happily went home to my condo, smiling like an idiot. "Hmm... Where should we go?" I scrolled through my phone.

To: Adi

Staycation in Batangas. 2 days, 1 night. All expenses paid. 

He replied so fast. 

From: Adi

I'm assuming this is you, Clea Zorel Aguilar. 

To: Adi

So is that a yes? 

From: Adi

At least let me pay half. Thanks for earlier. I owe you one. My sister is so happy. 

I smiled by myself while typing my reply. After that, I called my manager to cancel all my schedule. Of course, she got so mad at me but I just ended the call and smiled wider. After seeing him... I wanted to try again! I wasn't familiar with the concept of failure. I needed to try and try! Maybe this time, he could like me back! 

I shopped for clothes just for that trip! Hindi na ako makapaghintay! I was so excited na hindi pa ako nakatulog nang maayos when the day arrived! Sinundo niya pa ako sa condo so we had to hide from the cameras. 

"It feels weird to have you in my car. I'm used to seeing you on the screen," sabi niya sa akin habang nagda-drive. "How did I even arrive to this point?" 

"Because I tricked you." I smirked while looking outside the window. "And I will do it again..." 

"Hah, I let you trick me. Don't feel so high." 

"So you wanted a date too, huh?" I raised a brow while looking at his face. Damn... I couldn't get enough of his looks. How could he not enter show business with that face and built? He could be a model. 

"Anything for my sister," he honestly said. "I was desperate to find her in a flock of people younger and smaller than me, screaming 'Aaaah Clea! We love you, Clea!'" he even imitated! 

It was such a nice resort. The villa was all for us. I did not even get one with separate beds but he looked like he wasn't complaining at all. "So, how are you?" he asked while we were fixing our things. 

"Let's talk over dinner."

I prepared a romantic dinner for us at the lake! Just the two of us! Of course, I would do that. I changed into a flowy white dress and heels before we went there. He was also wearing a white polo and grey slacks. He looked so formal. 

"Do I look pretty?" I asked him as soon as we sat down.

"Yeah," he said while looking at the menu. He did not seem uninterested but also not interested either! Napasimangot ako at uminom na lang ng wine. 

He asked how I was again so I told him about my studies. I knew he was already studying Legal Management in Ateneo. Giselle told me that and even got his number for me. I was glad it wasn't awkward between us. Confidence was always the key for me. He also looked comfortable with me!

"So, you got a girlfriend now?" I asked the real deal.

He raised a brow while drinking wine on his glass. As soon as he put it down, he licked his lower lip and shook his head. "Nope."

"I also don't have a boyfriend. All those dating rumors are false," I told him. He should know what I meant. 

"Why? They seem nice. Great guys." He shrugged, his fingers playing with the wine glass. 

"Not my type." I leaned closer and smiled at him. "No one could compare to you."

His brows twitched a bit as the side of his lips rose up, shaking his head. He should already get used to me being bold. I was always brave to make moves on him!

"Stop acting, Zorel," he suddenly said.

Natigilan ako at napaayos ng upo sa sinabi niya. Stop acting? Stop acting like what? He got me thinking again. 

"Just be yourself in front of me. You don't have to try that hard..." he said again. "You can be shy. You can be real. You can get emotional. You know why I rejected you back then?" 

"What?" My voice was almost a whisper. 

"Because I don't know you," he straight up said. "You are always acting around people. It's hard for me to know if your feelings are real." 

I did not talk and just looked away. How could he know that? I was not taught to be myself. This became the real me. This... The woman I was trying to be. I looked around and so no one but us. It was a private dinner at the middle of the lake. 

No other pairs of eyes watching... Just his. 

I sighed and drank wine again. "My feelings are genuine," I told him. 

He did not talk and just nodded. Naging awkward tuloy ang dinner namin. I suddenly lost all the confidence I had earlier after he pointed that out. 

We already stood up and walked by the bridge so we could go back to the villa. It was dark but there were cute lights on the sides. Nauuna akong maglakad sa kaniya habang nag-iisip. How? Ano bang gusto niyang gawin ko?

I turned around so he suddenly stopped walking. He was already so close to me but he did not budge. He just looked down and waited for me to say something. 

I tiptoed and kissed him on his lips. He did not move and just stared at me after the kiss. "This feelings are the only thing real to me right now... not even myself... so let me enjoy it."

I saw a faint of smile on his lips before he shook his head and looked away. "Maybe in another time." He touched my cheek lightly before letting go and walking past me. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Advance happy holidays everyone.

Join me later, 8 PM (December 19) for my WWM sesh! (Seven, Estella, Lai trio) Christmas special! All diamonds will be donated to the affected families of Typhoon Odette.