Dear readers,

I  don't really know how to write this to be honest, but here goes. I just want to finally be honest. It's gonna transverse pretty randomly though as I write...

I know I promised that I would work on this story  eventually and that it was mainly the fact that I wanted to focus on my Ao3 account more, but..to be honest I haven't been uploading on that account either.

So, In all  honestly this is more of me
Just

explaining why I haven't been updating.

And I feel it is necessary to start from the beginning..

This was planned on being a rewrite of the story  "Reacting to Miraculous (Discontinued)"

Which everyone here probably knows, but I've been a bit  vague that as to why. Here it is

When I first started making it I thought it would fun to give it more of an explanation for them getting to the reaction room since others pretty much go right to it. I understand why, but I always found it unrealistic how they trust these strangers, so easily and aren't that scared about them having all this recording on their lives.

I completely understand why they made it that way though and fanfiction isn't really supposed to be realistic anyway. Especially since these are fanfiction where people can gain magical powers form their kwamis going into accessories.

My thoughts process was
I thought it would be kind of unique in it's own way since whenever I read those fanfictions. Also, I kind of had an idea on how the characters reacted to the reveal which I thought would be fun to write once I get there.

It was fun at first. Especially Ayla's point of view since most people whom made love square fanfictions start out with either Adrien or Marinette which is what I was originally going , but I couldn't think of anything when I was writing their point of view, so I ended up with Ayla.

And writing after that I was pretty happy with it. Especially after receiving such lovely comments and votes from you guys.

Some made  laugh and some mad me just all smiles and a bit flustered. I was happy that people actually liked it.

Then,

It started to become more of drag on to what the story was originally about and more of stalling to the reacting.

Also,

I don't know when, but I started to not have  any  fun  while writing the fanfiction itself.

Writers block kept becoming more frequent, so whenever I wrote I just decided to write the first thing that came to my mind

Whenever it happened I couldn't help, but feel lazy. I wasn't doing much with my life. The only thing keeping me busy was school, so I should've been able to work on this. Especially since I've seen plenty of others been able to upload frequently while I wasn't. I got frustrated at myself for having nothing to write. It would happen again and again where my mind would go blank whenever I came across this. I tried taking breaks, they never helped I just ended up postponing this. Which only made me feel more lazy, uncreative, stupid, and other things.

Whenever I was able to write it sometimes it made no sense while other times it didn't fit the storyline all to well.

I felt so bad taking forever to write something though that I didn't care I just felt like I had to upload since I known all of you have been so patient and I didn't want people to think I discontinued it.

Whenever I thought about the fanfiction itself negative thoughts invaded my mind.

I knew my writing skills weren't anything special,

So, whenever I published a new chapter I felt terrible.

I thought that I was ruining the story with each new chapter because I either thought that I didn't get the characters in character and you guys would be annoyed because it started out good, but then it ended up turning out terrible

Which it had.

Writing the next chapter started to become more of a challenge each time

The story ended up being dreadful to write because I wasn't writing for myself and anytime I reread what I wrote I would cringe so  bad because I hated it.

I ended up only  writing it since I knew people were reading and I was scared. Scared to let you all down which I have plenty of times including this one.

Each new chapter published made me dread the next.  made me dislike the fact for taking so long while others were able to and I just couldn't help but think I shouldn't have written the story at all and that everything would be better if I hadn't.

Especially since a few seemed to like it which I can't comprehend why. I rushed a lot of things and their were just too many point of views.

Anytime I thought of the fanfiction it made me sad

Sad that people liked it since  I didn't deserve the praise or votes whatsoever.

Sad that I couldn't live up the expectations I put upon myself..

I had enough of it. Which is why  I decided to discontinue it in the first place since it  kept making me feel terrible anytime I think about it.

That helped me. It really did.

until

I felt guilty for not being able to finish.

Guilty for leaving it there, so I thought that I could rewrite it to the point where I could actually like it. Where it made more sense, so made this in hopes to finish what I started only to find

That I didn't know what to write.

I kept postponing because I felt scared again scared that I would ended up messing this story up one way or another.

Also, When thinking of getting to the reactions I felt dread because I thought if all the second-hand embrassment the show has. I didn't know how to make them react to that because I wasn't comfortable making them just laugh like there did. I don't why. It just didn't feel right to me. 

I guess it's cause
That  is one of the reasons I don't like the show as much as I used to.

Don't get me wrong I still like miraculous, but there are somethings I wish the creators did.

I wish that they let Chat Noir  and Ladybug  act more as team instead of Ladybug just ordering him around. I wish they could be partners like they were supposed too, but

It doesn't feel that they are at times. And that hurts.

The point I'm making in this is that not liking the show as much as I used to made it a bit harder to write..

Sorry Miraculous fans..

I do still like it and it's fanfictions. That is true, but I just  like it a bit less than I used to.

I'm made that  point because I just want to give all my reasons out here.

Whenever I thought of  this, 'Universer". I didn't feel dread and it didn't occur often, but whenever it did the guilt would come back which I know would only go away if I finished this, but I couldn't bring myself to.

I could only bring myself to write what I already published and this:

"Alya's Point of view

It's crazy to think so much as happened ever since

My family moved to Paris.

Finally was able to do blog something

that I was proud about

And of course it ended up being about superheroes.

I'v always admired them from home

That's why I remember that
Specific line"

And that's all

All I've been able to write.

I couldn't bring myself to discontinue this one either.

I know not many if any are reading this anymore, but

Whenever I think of discontinuing this it makes feel guilty. All over again and I think that I would try to rewrite once again one way or another or something and that...

This will become a endless cycle was worrisome

And something

Which I don't want,

But I really don't know if I'll be able to ever update this again. Even though I want to. I Just.... don't know.

This hasn't been the greatest for my health.

Ever since I discontinued my first fanfiction though it's has  been better. I didn't swallow myself in self-pity.

The guilt of not updating does  happen which is what brought me to  even be writing this,  I didn't lie  about that, but truthfully it doesn't happen that  often.  Which I have to admit I can't say I feel sorry for that. I didn't let this consume me and that made happy.

What I feel sorry for is making all of you whom are reading this wait and have false hope. That I would actually just finished this story once in for all.

All in all it's best that I say I discontinued it because it's what's best for everyone

I'm Sorry for being a downer, but I'm tired of feeling dishonest about this.

I'm truly sorry for giving all of you false hope, making you all wait on me not being able to complete my promise to finish this, but it's never been that great of a story to begin with.

I have zero motivation for the story it self anymore and no matter how hard I try I just can't bring myself to write..

I'm going to end up deleting the fanfiction itself soon.

I plan on updating my random-one shots from time to time  because that always makes me happy when I'm just writing random things and I don't feel pressured. It's nice.

Might update miraculous rants or drawings too, but besides those I'm probably not gonna write much else..

                                                    Signed,
                                               Foxlover504

P.s: my device kept auto-correcting Alya to  Ayla, so sorry that it's spelled wrong. And  for overreacting with some of this stuff, but I'm tired of this fanfiction I created. Tired of thinking about it, so here it is. The final good-bye.