I'm standing by the road watching a huge house burn to the ground.
It has been on fire for two hours, and they still haven't found her.
Rylee.
She is missing.
She is in that house.
My heart aches like never before.
She's not dead! She's NOT DEAD!

After two more hours, the fire is finally put out. The firemen go in, the firemen come out.
Empty-handed.
Rylee is gone.
Tears streaming down my face, I run behind the near by barn.
"YOU SAID YOU'D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME!" I scream into the night.
"But your not...."
Sobs erupt from my chest and tear through me like a knife.

I scream and cry until the surrounding blackness is shredded with terror.
I'm filled with a black venomous pain that I know can never be healed.
My throat goes so dry, I spit out blood.
It stains the dirt before me a sharp scarlet red in the moonlight.
I spend the night screaming at God and at Rylee. At Paige and at myself.
When bright pink paints the sky,
I collapse.
She can't be gone! She can't be!
Rylee dead?

Terrible guilt crashes down on me when I awake.
I immediately roll onto my hands and knees and beg for my lord's forgiveness.
I feel a great peace settle over me when I finish.
I roll back onto my back and stare up at the cloudy sky.
God? I know you're out there. And I know you know my pain. Your son died for my sins on the cross. My sister is dead.

My mother also. I need your help to get me through this.
Rylee was always there when I needed her most. I know that you are always there too. This must be your will so.... Please help me to except it.
And....help Tacoma too.
Thank you lord.
In your son's name.
Amen.

(This chapter is so sad and depressing..........I almost feel bad for writing it.......almost....)