Hi! Thank you so much for all your votes and feedback on the last chapter. It truly makes my world go round :)

Love you guys <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shit, sorry." Anakin mumbled. I had involuntarily flinched when a shot of pain darted across my forehead at the pressure as he applied a bacta patch to my split eyebrow.

"It's just cold." I whispered, not wanting him to think he was harming me. It was quite the opposite actually; his gentle touch and attention was soothing both my external and internal wounds. Being near him calmed my panicked heart and soothed the fear that still gnawed on my conscience. Despite knowing, logically, that I am safe on this ship, the trauma of the day kept me on edge. Any unexpected movement or noise would cause me to jump, and my heart rate would skyrocket.

I wasn't sure how anyone could go through something like that and be completely fine on the other end. Sure, Anakin and the rest of the Jedi are likely desensitized to the violence and danger, but it was shocking they were even able to continue on as normal with all the stressful situations they constantly endure. And after experiencing even just a taste of it firsthand, I was convinced the Jedi deserved all the credit they get and more. 

"How do you do this all the time?" I asked Anakin softly as his fingers grazed against my skin, expertly securing the bacta patch. His lip was tucked between his teeth as he remained focused and steady.

"Do what?" He asked. I closed my eyes as he gently brushed my hair out of my face to examine his handy work.

"The danger...the violence..." I murmured.

"You get used to it." He replied in a flat tone. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with a hard expression. "I've been fighting since I was a child."

I felt a tug on my heart as I thought about the young boy I would see around the temple growing up; constantly whisked away on missions that were no place for a child or being required to train harder and longer than any of the other younglings. And sometimes I forget that even now, sitting before me, he is still so young. I wondered if he has ever known real peace.

"Thank you...for coming for me." I said softly. His head slightly cocked to the side and his eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Did you think I wouldn't?" He asked with genuine surprise.

"Well, I don't know...I did volunteer. And I thought maybe you wouldn't be able to interfere and create any further problems with the Tarro family." I explained.

"Kels," Anakin said, grabbing my hands and clasping them between his own, "I will always come for you." He gave me an intensely determined look that just dared me to question him. I had to swallow hard to get rid of the lump that formed in my throat.

We held each other's gaze for a few minutes, before he clenched his jaw and tore his eyes away from mine and instead focused on my upper arm.

"Does that hurt?" He asked me. I followed his gaze and noticed a series of long, angry-looking bruises forming on my upper bicep. Clearly from Rayme's punishing grip as he dangled me over the city.

"Not much." I replied with a soft sigh, unable to look for too long. It wasn't the pain that bothered me, it was the aftershock of terror that still rocked through my body at the sight of the marks that disturbed me. I felt my chest tighten as I remembered the sensation of being suspended above a sheer drop completely at the mercy of a maniac.

"Hey, hey," Anakin said softly, bringing his hand up to gently cup my cheek, "You're safe."

I realized I hadn't yet reinforced my mental barrier. Quickly, I snapped the shields back up. I watched his eyebrows knit together as he exhaled sharply.

"I know." I replied, trying to force a smile. I could tell he wanted to ask me about what I was feeling or thinking, but he just nodded slowly, eyes scanning my face carefully. With a deep sigh, he then reached into the small first aid kit Obi-Wan found and pulled out a tiny tube of bacta gel. After applying a small amount to his fingertip, he brought it up to my face and tenderly applied it to my bottom lip where the skin had split.

I inhaled tightly at the contact. His touch was so gentle and soft on my lip, his blue gaze focused on my wound. Without thinking, I found myself placing a light kiss on his fingertips. His eyes darted up to mine and I noticed his throat bob. I felt my face flush with heat.

"Kels..." he warned in a low voice, his eyes flicking over my shoulder to the cockpit where Obi-Wan and Ahsoka sat chatting idly.

"Sorry." I whispered, feeling embarrassed that I couldn't control myself.

Of course, he didn't want Obi-Wan or Ahsoka to see any exchange of physical affection. That would go against the code they all upheld so dearly. Whatever happened on Canto Bight would have to stay on Canto Bight. Intense situations can bring out intense reactions. I couldn't allow myself to read too far into the kiss, if only to protect my own heart.

The realization that the kiss we shared would have to remain a memory hurt. Especially when it lit my very soul on fire. But the closer we got back to Coruscant, the sooner we'd have to go back to how things were...how they were only allowed to be.

Anakin was watching me intently. It was an effort to keep my features from falling. So instead, I looked down into my lap, clearing my throat to give myself a moment to collect myself before lifting my head again with a soft smile. Again, the muscle in Anakin's jaw flickered as he clenched his jaw shut.

"How are you doing, Kels?" Obi-Wan's voice said from behind me, breaking the charged silence between Anakin and me.

"I'm okay." I replied, turning my forced smile towards him as he approached and sat down in the booth next to Anakin. Quickly, Anakin's features morphed into indifference when his master joined us.

"I am so sorry this happened to you." He said, looking at me with genuine sorrow. I noticed the older Jedi's eyes scanning the injuries Anakin had just tended to.

"It's really okay," I replied with a soft shake of my head, "And it wasn't for nothing. I think I got some useful information." Both Obi-Wan and Anakin looked at me with surprise. I had to hold back an eye roll...did they really think I would come out of that with nothing? I was eager to show them that I'm not just some helpless girl who they had to rescue. I was useful, I had potentially helped.

"We can wait to discuss once you have recovered." Obi-Wan offered.

"No," I shook my head firmly, "I can discuss now." Obi-Wan glanced over at Anakin who remained quiet but shrugged softly in response.

"Alright, go ahead Kels." He said.

Obi-Wan had said even the smallest insight might unlock a larger discovery. So, when I launched into a full debrief, I included as much detail as possible. I told them about Rayme's family in Crete and their donations, the insinuation that the banking federation is corrupt, and how Rayme was due to meet with his father tomorrow. I tried to recite everything from my memory as perfectly as I remembered it, only leaving out the grisly details surrounding how exactly I received my injuries. Anakin was absolutely seething as I divulged my experience, and I didn't want to further agitate him.

Once I had finally finished, I let out a deep sigh and looked up at Obi-Wan. Biting my lip, I held my breath and waited for his reaction. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his eyes sparkle and a slow smile spread across his face.

"This was exactly the type of information we were hoping to extract from this mission." Obi-Wan declared, pride written across his features. It made my heart swell.

"At what cost though?" Anakin mumbled under his breath, clearly not sharing in Obi-Wan's elation. My eyes panned over to Anakin who was staring at the bacta patch on my eyebrow with a dark expression.

"Thank you, Kels." Obi-Wan said, reaching out to place his hand on top of mine. "What you did was incredibly brave."

"I'm happy I could help." I said softly, biting down on a grin. Pride swept through my system. It felt good to have contributed. To have done something for once. It made the pain worth it.

Obi-Wan gave my hand a gentle squeeze before he mumbled something about needing to contact the council and stood up to return to the cockpit with Ahsoka. I looked back at Anakin whose narrowed eyes were following his master.

"What?" I asked him, clearly noticing his less than positive reaction.

"He shouldn't be encouraging you." Anakin muttered, his eyes flashing with annoyance.

I felt my face scrunch in irritation. "It's not like I'm a child, Anakin. I can make my own decisions and I will continue to do so." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"We should have never put you in that position," Anakin said firmly, doubling down on his aggravation, "you are untrained, unexperienced and you got really fucking lucky."

Suddenly the pride I felt dissipated and was replaced with dejection. "A thank you would be nice." I muttered, slouching back into the booth behind me.

"Thank you?" Anakin repeated with a scoff, "For what? Putting yourself in needless danger?"

"It wasn't needless." I shot back, my volume rising. "It was our best shot at success. And it was successful."

Anakin shook his head firmly, his eyes continuing to narrow. "If you all had stopped for a fucking minute to think of another plan that didn't involve you waltzing into the lion's den completely unprotected, you could have. We could have figured something else out that didn't involve you getting the shit beaten out of you and almost killed."

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat." I said, returning his sharp glare. "Because it worked."

"Well, good thing you'll never get the fucking chance to do something like that again." Anakin replied in a low voice.

"Anak-" I began to plead with him.

"No. When we get back to Coruscant, you are retuning back to your regular life. No more missions, ever. You're not a god damned martyr Kels, you're a cook." He declared loudly. And it felt like a punch to the gut.

The thought of just going back to my sad, dreary existence was painful. But peering up at Anakin, he looked so certain and so determined. As if he saw me as nothing other than a simple temple worker who had no place in Jedi business. I knew I couldn't change his mind. My entire demeanor sunk. Anakin's lips twitched into a frown for a split second before returning to a thin, hard-pressed line.

"It's for your own good." He added in a slightly softer tone. I then saw him lift his hand ever so slightly towards me. But before I could allow him to come close to touching me, I stood up quickly and pushed right past him towards the cabins, refusing to look him in the eye.

I collapsed into the bunk with a frustrated sigh, and it took every ounce of effort to keep the tears at bay. Was I destined to live such an unextraordinary life? Was I being a fool for thinking I could be more than a cook? Because it felt like every time I gained the confidence to believe in myself, life smacked me right back down into reality. And even worse, this time it was in the form of an angry Jedi's painful words.

It hurt that Anakin doesn't believe in me.

You can do anything...his words echoed through my mind. A fucking lie.

I can do anything but attempt to be more than just a cook, safe and secure in the temple. Never to leave or do anything special. Never to experience the thrill of adventure, or the purpose that comes from aiding the republic, or even the confidence that would come with the Jedi I  hopelessly loved believing in me. I wasn't destined for any of that. And it fucking hurt.

Staring up at the metal ceiling, I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. It was pathetic, I know. I wasn't even sure how long I was laying there. But I just felt so discouraged by Anakin's lack of faith in me. Turning to the side, I felt a wave of pain flash through my skull as I rolled over onto the gash across my eyebrow.

"Shit." I hissed, bringing my hand up to gingerly press onto the bandage. However, the shock of pain was enough to pull me from my pity party.

Anakin has no authority over me. I reminded myself.

So, despite his doubt, I refused to let it stop me. I'd still find a way to live the life I want. Somehow...

My thoughts were then interrupted by a knock on my door. I sighed and contemplated pretending like I didn't hear it. But when the knock occurred again, this time louder, I groaned.

"Come in." I called out. The door opened to reveal Anakin, looking down at me with his arms crossed. "I'm really not in the mood." I muttered, carefully turning away from him on my bunk as to not disturb my injuries.

I heard him let out a heavy sigh and take a step forward as my door slid shut behind him.

"Kels..." He said softly. "Come on. Look at me."

When I didn't respond, I heard him approach and kneel down next to me.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. I felt my stomach flip at the sound of it.

"Don't apologize just because Obi-Wan guilted you into it." I said. I had heard Obi-Wan's lecturing tone seep through my door just moments before. I had only assumed it was directed towards Anakin.

"Well, he did call me an ungrateful dickhead, but that's not the reason I'm sorry." He admitted with a soft chuckle. Still facing away from him, I rolled my eyes, highly doubting Obi-Wan used that exact language. However, I remained unmoving, allowing the pettiness to override my desire to face him.

"Kels, please..." Anakin pleaded. He brought up his hand to rest on my arm as he gently pulled me towards him. His touch caused my heart to pulse, but I didn't allow myself to budge. When he realized that wasn't going to work, I suddenly felt his lips graze the shell of my ear.

"I'm sorry, love." He whispered and gently placed a kiss behind my ear. My entire body shivered, and I felt his lips pull into a smirk as they remained pressed into my skin.

Not fucking fair. And he knew it.

"Don't" I snapped, turning around to face him. His smirk on his face grew. He had achieved his desired affect. 

"There she is." He said under his breath. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why are you sorry?" I demanded, finally taking his bait.

"Because I made you feel like I doubt you." He replied.

"Well, you clearly do." I countered.

"No, that's not it..." Anakin began with a sigh. He hesitated, seeming to gather his words carefully before speaking. "It's just that I feel this indescribable pull to protect you. Like nothing I have ever experienced. And seeing you like that, on that roof, bleeding and tied to a chair, it fucking devastated me. But you still held your head up high and literally spit blood at the feet of your captor. And it made me furious because I had failed. I allowed that to happen. I don't doubt you, Kels. I doubt myself."

"You don't have to protect me." I insisted softly. He looked down at me with a small smile.

"I know," He replied. "But I can't just not." He admitted as if he had no choice in the matter.

I couldn't deny the warmth that surged through my body upon hearing Anakin verbalize his protectiveness. But I also had to make sure he understood that while he may come from a good place, his version of protection would be the end of me.

"I can handle the pain, the violence, the danger. I think I would eventually get used to it. I'd learn how to navigate those situations." I began slowly, "But if you expect me to just go back to my normal life, and stay locked away in the temple and in the kitchen, never leaving to do anything that really matters...that would kill me. That I couldn't handle."

Anakin was quiet for a few moments, really taking in what I was saying to him.

"I can't promise I'll always be there when danger strikes though." He said in a raspy whisper. "At least in the temple you'll always be safe."

I swallowed and watched as his face fell slightly, grappling with the fear of not always being able to protect me. But he had to understand. "Anakin, I mean this when I say I would rather die than resign myself to a life that only exists within the temple walls, no matter how safe they are." I kept my voice as steady as I could and allowed my words to hang in the air. Anakin's features twitched ever so slightly at my use of the word die. But I meant it. I refused to live that life.

"Kels..." He began.

"And I'll have you know," I cut him off, "I will find a way the live a life beyond the temple. Whether it's with you or not." I locked in on his gaze with conviction. And after how he found me red roping not once, but twice, I knew he'd believe me. Despite my love for him, I would make the painful decision to pursue a life without him in it if it meant maintaining my spirit and sanity. I'd have to. 

My heart was racing, but I managed to keep my breathing steady as his eyes bore into mine. I held his intense eye contact, not wanting to shy away from the weight my words held. After a few moments, Anakin sighed gently and brought his hand up to cup my cheek, softly brushing his thumb along my cheek bone.

"You're going to be the death of me." He whispered with a soft smirk. But his subtle nod acknowledged that he was truly hearing me.

"Don't say that." I replied in the same hushed tone.

Anakin chuckled softly in response, biting his lip as he gave me a look that had butterflies erupting in my stomach.

"Do you forgive me?" He eventually asked, breaking the silence.

"I forgive you, Anakin." I replied with a smile.

"Good...because Ahsoka is trying to teach us the rules to that dice game you taught her, and she is explaining it horribly. We need you out there." He said, a classic Anakin grin gracing his features as he stood up and nodded his head towards the door. I laughed softly and rolled my eyes. I was glad we had that conversation, but was equally happy to return to our usual rapport.

"As if you care about the rules...you'll cheat regardless." I sat up, shooting him a smirk. He chuckled softly and shrugged his shoulders, not denying my accusation.

"I hate to lose." He quipped as if it were justification. He held his hand out, and with another eye roll I accepted it and allowed him to pull me to my feet.

"No shame." I muttered, biting down in a smile.

I began to take a step towards the door when Anakin's grip on my hand tightened. And before I knew it, he had pulled me into his chest. His metal arm wrapped around my waist and his flesh hand found its way to my cheek. With his face only inches from mine, I could feel his exhale tickle my skin. His eyes scanned mine, again I could see endless questions in his gaze. I was absolutely hypnotized by him. So, when he brought his hand down to tip my chin up towards him, I didn't hesitate when his lips met mine.

I absolutely melted into his arms as he kissed me slowly. He wasn't hurried, as if he was savoring each second. Meanwhile, I was committing every inch of him to memory. The way he held me, the way his lips fit perfectly against mine, the way he tasted. I didn't want to forget a single thing. Because kissing him was pure bliss.

He drew me in tighter, completely pressing my body against his as I raised my arms to wrap around his neck. At the same time his hand moved behind my head, tangling his fingers in my hair as he pulled me in to deepen the kiss. The increased pressure sent a jolt of pain through my busted lip. However, I was too entranced by Anakin to pull away. He must have noticed though because he eased up on the intensity, focusing his tender kisses on the uninjured corner of my mouth before slowly pulling away.

Resting his forehead on mine, he exhaled softly. I closed my eyes, still relishing the tingle on my lips. But I knew better than to go in for more. This moment was too delicate.

"I'm still figuring this all out." Anakin whispered, a hint of sadness behind is words.

And I nodded because I understood. Everything that just happened goes against the Jedi code. Goes against everything he has dedicated is entire life to.

It might not be love, but it was certainly attachment.

But if it's so wrong, why does it feel like our jagged edges were made to fit together? Why does his touch set my soul on fire? Why can't he seem to stop himself from kissing me?

However, it had been a long, emotional day, and these types of questions and discussions were better suited for another time. So once again, we left the words unspoken and exited the room together, pretending nothing happened.