Helloooo! Sorry for the delay, y'all. This one took me a long time to write. I wanted to make sure I got it right. Still not sure if I nailed it, but I didn't want to leave you all hanging.

As usual, let me know what you think and if you have any questions.

Love you all! <3

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Anakin's POV

I have been called rash or careless more times than I care to count. I mean shit, Obi-Wan has called me reckless more than my own name.

And in the past, I would scoff and mentally justify every single action I have ever taken. So sure that I was always one step ahead. My arrogance led me to believe I just know better.

Even when I accidently tripped those fucking alarms this morning coming in from my meeting with Jabba, I was able to weave together an internal narrative that validated my reasons for sneaking out without Kels knowing. For keeping her in the dark. And for being careless enough to trigger a fucking surveillance droid.

It was an amateur move. But it was for her own protection. 

However, she's not stupid. I could sense apprehension from her all morning. And as much as I tried to bury it by dialing into the natural chemistry that always draws us together, a festering panic began to gnaw at the back of my mind. And when she looked up at me with those heartache-inducing silver eyes and begged me to tell her everything, I knew I should. And I felt like scum on the bottom of a fucking Jawa's boot for withholding from her.

But I just needed to get through this impending attack on the temple, I needed to keep her far away from this mess. My only priority is keeping Kels safe, alive and happy. She has experienced so much loss, so much bullshit, and yet she still has hope for a better future. A future that has become intertwined with mine.

So how can I deliver the news that I keep getting visions in my sleep of her fucking dying during this temple attack? Just like the visions that ultimately led to the death of my mother.

I physically couldn't get the words past my lips. I can't do that to her. I can save her.

And once this gods damned attack is finally over with, I will tell her every single fucking thing she wants to know. I'll be an open book, allowing her to analyze and decipher every single word on every single page.

But now as she stood in front of me, eyes filled with anger, I began to question my carefully constructed resolve. The air in the small ship was thick with tension and I suddenly realized that while I'm not afraid of much, I'm fucking terrified of letting down the curious little temple cook who holds my heart in the palm of her hand.

I wouldn't be the one to crush her delicate dreams of the future. Because it's a future I desperately want as well.

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Kels's POV

Anakin couldn't keep his gaze focused. His eyes darted between various corners of the ship before landing on mine. And as if he couldn't bear to look me in the eye, his eyes were again on the floor, darting between our dust ridden boots.

I stood still, waiting for the ship door to close and cut us off from the busy port just outside. However, with each second that passed, it became more difficult to breathe steadily. A heaviness settled on my chest spurred on by frustration and dread.

When the hiss of the compressor signaled the door had finally sealed, I let out a shaky breath.

"Sebulba is full of shit, Kels. I-" The words tumbled from Anakin's lips as he drew his eyes up to meet mine.

"If you lie to me one more time, Anakin..." I cut him off with a warning tone as the anger began to surface. His mouth snapped shut and his jaw set in frustration.

He reached out to touch me, but I quickly stepped backwards. Despite craving his comfort, I knew one touch and I'd completely melt to his will. I can't be so easily subdued.     

"Where were you this morning?" I asked the first question that reached my lips from my frenzied thoughts.

Anakin stilled, his eyes suddenly snapping into a controlled calm. The Jedi had quickly managed to wrangle his emotions. I witnessed years of training instantly kick in.  

"I went out for a conversation." He replied in an even tone. I let out a sharp exhale through my nose, he still wasn't telling me everything.

"With who?" I pressed, involuntarily clenching my jaw.

Anakin straightened his spine to an imposing height and stepped forward to tower over me. I lifted my chin to meet his hard expression, not allowing myself to feel intimidated.

"Jedi business." He said in a cold voice.

Jedi business. Two words that absolutely cut me. We had painfully found ourselves back at square one where Anakin was pushing me away, deeming me unworthy of privileged information. I had to clench my teeth to keep my bottom lip from quivering as I held Anakin's stare. His face showed no emotion, so far removed from the Anakin I had grown to love.

"Shield down" I found myself begging in a whisper, hoping I'd be able to find the truth he was carefully concealing in his inner emotions.

However, Anakin didn't oblige. He stood firm and completely closed off. Still as a statue apart from the tremor that had roared back to life in his hand.

He was set on keeping this, whatever this is, from me. 

An aching sensation of devastation and ire flooded through my body. He promised that we were in this together, that we were a team. It hurt to know he didn't mean that. That he doesn't trust me.

"Fine." I said in a low voice, unable to hide the shake in my tone. "I will get my answers elsewhere." 

And without a moment's more hesitation, I spun around on my heel and hit the button next to the sliding ship door that had it lurching opening. Sebulba seemed more than willing to tell me the fucking truth, so I'll go find him. I wasn't going to allow Anakin to safeguard the truth without a fight.

The noise from the busy port pierced through the ship's silence and just as I was about to take a step forward to jump down onto the ground below, a force pushed me backwards as the door snapped shut again. My back slammed against Anakin's chest, and I felt his hands immediately grip my waist.

Anger clawed at my chest.

"How fucking dare you?" I snapped, jerking out of his hold and spinning to face him. I was beyond frustrated that he would have the nerve to blatantly lie to me and then go so far as to physical stop me from finding answers elsewhere. It was an unashamed display of him using his command of both knowledge and the force to control me. And it killed me that the same man who made me truly believe in my own power was the same one trying to stifle it with his own.

I decided to let down my own mental shields and allow him to feel the full force of my anger. And when the force of my emotions hit him, his mask faltered for a fraction of a second, and I saw him wince before narrowing his eyes into an intense stare.

"You have made it abundantly clear than you wish to continue lying to me," I seethed, pressing an accusatory finger into his chest. "But you do not get to hold me fucking hostage from the truth."  

Anakin released his grip from my waist and held up his hands as his chest heaved. "It's for your own good." He then said in a tight voice.

And that only fanned the flames of anger in my gut. Anakin's hands twitched towards me again before holding firm at his side.

"Bullshit, Anakin!" I yelled, causing the muscle in his jaw to feather. "Let me be the one to decide what is or isn't for my own good."

"That's not-" Anakin began.

"Do you think I'm that weak? Or pathetic? Or stupid? That I can't handle whatever fucking secret you're keeping? A secret that clearly involves me, by the way, and the entire reason we're even on Tatooine!" I exclaimed, unable to contain my frustration. 

"You know I don't think that Kels." Anakin replied, the volume in his voice rising.

"I don't, Anakin!" I shot back; a hysterical laugh passed through my lips as I threw my hands in the air. "I don't know anything. You won't tell me."

I so badly wanted him to give me even just a morsel of truth. Whether it was in the form of his words or feeling his unfiltered emotions. I felt as though I was stumbling my way around a dark room blindfolded when he had a light to guide him.

"I tell you what you fucking need to know!" Anakin shouted, causing me to wince at the sharp edge in his voice. A general's tone used to keep his subordinates in line.  

I opened my mouth to shout back. I wanted to inflict as much heartache with my words as he was with his. But the pure devastation of our situation knocked the breath from my lungs and tore the volume from my throat. So, I eventually closed my mouth and locked eyes with his. The intense resolve in his expression hurt. He wasn't going to budge on this.

"That's not how this is going to work." I found myself eventually whispering. My vision began to blur, and I wiped furiously at my eyes, not wanting to come off as weak as he clearly already perceives me to be.

A heavy silence hung between us.

"What do you mean?" He eventually asked in a low voice, letting out a shallow exhale.

"I love you, Anakin. Gods I fucking love you," I choked out, my throat began to tighten with impending tears. "But I cannot be with you if you so easily make decisions on my behalf without even talking to me. If you do not trust me. That's not a partnership I want to be part of. My whole life I have been passive, allowing others to make me feel less-than or unworthy. And I can't allow you to do that too, it will absolutely devastate me." I looked up at him and finally saw a flicker of despair ignite in his eyes as I continued, "please...just please...tell me why we are here and what is actually going on." 

A hairline fracture of pain cracked through Anakin's expression. But still, he didn't speak.

I gave him three seconds. One, please tell me the truth. Two, please just trust me. Three, please come back to me, Anakin.

Silence. 

"I am going to go find Sebulba." I pushed myself to say in a shaky but determined voice. "And then I am going to find a way back to Coruscant." The tears had spilled over my cheeks.

I had no concrete plan, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I have been purposefully shielded from some large truth that was right under my nose. And it had become more and more clear that whatever Anakin was keeping directly involved me. I needed to know. I hated the sensation of being kept as a compliant passenger, far away from the steering wheel directing my own fate.    

So, before I could think better of it, I turned around again and reached towards the door. My fingers were inches from the button when Anakin finally spoke.

"Kels, stop." He practically barked in an authoritative voice. "Sit down...please, baby." His tone only softened slightly as he choked out his final plea.

I scoffed as the last shred of hope I had that he'd confide in me withered. However, when I pressed the button to open the door, nothing happened. Anakin had clearly used the force to hold the door in place.

Whipping around to face him, I opened my mouth to vehemently protest. 

"You can't wander this fucking port alone." Anakin cut me off, as if that justified his actions. He crossed his arms over his chest, indicating his word was final.

"Why, worried someone might try to hold me captive?" I shot back, waving an arm in front of me to demonstrate his exact behavior.

Anakin's jaw was clenched so hard I thought he might crack a tooth. His chest rose and settled with breaths he was visibly trying to control. He clearly didn't appreciate me drawing parallels between him and the miscreants that likely prowled the port. Especially when being back on his trauma-ridden home planet has him acting on hyperdrive to keep me from said danger. I only allowed myself to feel guilt for a moment before I tuned back into my frustrated determination.

We both stood still, locked in a silent battle of wills, when suddenly my attention was pulled by a familiar beep echoing through the ship.

Anakin's comlink.

His narrowed eyes flitted to the wall where the sound was emitting from before they focused back on me. He made no movement to answer the call.

"Go ahead, answer it." I challenged in a quiet voice.

The beeping hung in the air between us.

"No." Anakin said in a commanding voice.

"Could be important." I pressed, keeping my voice in a manufactured calm.

"It is." Anakin immediately confirmed in a sharp voice, much to my surprise. "I encrypted it so that I would only receive red alerts."

I felt my face scrunch in confusion. Why would he want to cut off standard communication? Surely, he'd want to keep the Jedi council apprised of his learnings while on Tatooine. But now that I think about it, I don't recall seeing his comlink on him in the past few days when it is typically glued to his wrist. Has he been avoiding hearing from the council?

Then it hit me.

"They don't know you're here, do they?" I whispered.

If he didn't tell the Jedi he was headed to Tatooine, then we must not be here for the reason he claimed. We must not be here to unearth intel on the temple attack for the council. Because surely, he'd want to be in close communication in case he found anything useful.

And he'd definitely want to maintain an open correspondence in case the council discovered anything of importance back on Coruscant or, gods forbid, if the attack actually happened, and we needed to rush back so he could help? Right?

My head shot towards the source of the noise. Red Alert. The attack. Shit.

"Anakin! Answer it!" I exclaimed, panic seeping into my tone.

He looked as though a battle were waging in his head. I allowed his obvious mental contemplation to run its course but kept my eyes steady on his, practically begging him to answer the incessant beeping.

At least the Jedi on the other end wouldn't lie.

After letting out a frustrated sigh, Anakin took a few careful steps backwards, his eyes never leaving mine. He then stopped next to the durasteel wall and brought a hand up to press one of the panels. To my surprise, it sprung open to reveal a hidden compartment with his comlink front and center.

My breath caught in my throat as he reached in and brought his fingers around the small piece of technology. He held it in front of him, looking down at it with a stormy expression. Then, he muttered a quick curse and pressed him thumb into the speaker button.

"A message to all those within the Jedi order" A voice I recognized as Mace Windu's rang through the silence. "A mandatory and immediate return to the Coruscant temple has been put in place. Master Yoda has identified a dark disturbance in the force. I'm afraid the imminent temple attack is nearly upon us."

With a soft click, the recorded message ended and although I felt a semblance of relief that we were not too late, an anxious panic was beginning to grow in my gut.

We needed to go back. Now.

Tearing my eyes from the comlink in his palm, I found Anakin's contemplative eyes staring off into the corner of the ship. His brows were pulled together, and his jaw ticked in thought.

"We need to go back." I blurted out, taking a step towards him. "Please, we need to go now."

Anakin ignored me and continued staring off, lost in thought.

"Anakin, please." I begged, reaching forward to grab his arm. Finally, his eyes snapped to mine.

"They've never called all Jedi to the temple like this before." He said softly. I was unsure if he was speaking to me or simply voicing his thoughts.

The swirling emotions inside me morphed into fear. If this was unprecedented, it must be bad.

"Does Master Yoda sense these disturbances often?" I asked, pressing the palms of my hands into my thighs to keep them from shaking.

"No." Anakin answered, again to my surprise.

Anakin shook his head abruptly and then seemingly snapped out of the control of his thoughts. He looked at me with remorse and held up his hands gently as if to temper my emotions as if what he was about to say I wouldn't agree with. I felt my jaw set with dread.

"We can't go back." Anakin said firmly.

I stared at him, partially unsure if I had heard him correctly.

"Did you not just hear the same message I did?" I asked incredulously, motioning towards the comlink held tightly in his hand. "We have to go back. They need you. You have to help them."

It went without saying that I wasn't exactly referring to the Jedi council. Although it was Anakin's duty to serve and answer to the council's calling, the ones who truly needed him were the many others who call the temple home. The same ones who I feared were likely still oblivious to the impending danger. The faces of Rala, Glynn, my fellow kitchen workers all flashed through my mind. They were the ones who needed all the protection they could get.

"I said no, Kels." Anakin said with that same general's tone that had me practically buzzing with ire.

"Why?" I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air.

Anakin swallowed hard, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation before looking at me with a stunning coldness. It seemed as if he was using every ounce of his power to keep a cap on his emotions to remain callous and authoritative. I wasn't speaking to Anakin; I was speaking to the Jedi General of the 501st. I fucking hated it.

"Because it's too dangerous." He eventually replied.

I couldn't help but scoff in response. And before I could lash out, I was hit with a wave of understanding. The real reason why we were even on Tatooine. It was never about preventing the attack, it was an attempt to wait it out, far away from the danger.

"Anakin, why are we here? On Tatooine?" I asked in a shaky voice. "Please do not lie to me again." I needed to hear him say it.

"We are here to avoid the attack, not prevent it." He then said in a careful voice, sensing I had put the pieces together. "There was never going to be any helpful information found on Tatooine. I knew that before we even stepped foot on this ship. I brought you here to get you away from the inevitable danger."

I had been begging for truth from him, but when he finally obliged, it felt like a sharp slap of betrayal. 

"You brought me here under false pretenses." I quickly clarified, feeling a queasy cold shoot through my veins.

I would have never gotten on this ship if I knew it was just to selfishly save myself. I would have never agreed to leaving the temple high and dry with one of their best, most decorated Jedi knights by my side. I would never willingly deprive the innocent temple staff of the crucial layer of defense only Anakin Skywalker provides.

I wanted to help them. Not abandon them.

"What about all those conversation I saw you having? Were you not trying to get information on the attack?" I asked, trying to put the pieces together. Anakin practically held court at the cantina our first night here, speaking to an array of sentients. I had assumed he was gathering intel for the council.

"Unrelated." Anakin snapped in response.

Gritting my teeth, I shook my head before muttering, "another lie."

"Kels, this is about protecting you." He said in a tight voice. I knew he could sense my devastation. "It was for you-"

"If you say it was for my own good, I am leaving this ship right fucking now." I cut him off. Hoping the fire in my tone would convey my seriousness, despite Anakin's clear intention to keep me on this ship by whatever means necessary.

"I need you to think rationally." He said, using that same cold tone that caused me to cringe.

"The only rational thing to do would be to go back to Coruscant and help. Just like every other Jedi will be doing." I shot back.

From my perspective he was being anything but rational. He was being reckless, careless, selfish even. And even if it was to protect me, I couldn't live with myself knowing my wellbeing was prioritized over so many others'.

"No." He said again, crossing his arms firmly over his chest as if my opinion on the matter was meaningless.

Another moment of tense silence washed over us as we held each other's determined gaze.

"You have no authority over me." I whispered as a reminder that I'm not one of his troops that he could order around. "fucking remember that, Skywalker."

Anakin's eyes softened ever so slightly. He, more than most, knew what it felt like when someone wrongfully asserts their authority or control. The horrifying memories borne from the very planet we were currently docked on was a testament to that. 

"I am not trying to control you, Kels." He said, a slight plead to his voice. "I just need you to fucking trust me."

"Trust goes both ways." I shot back, narrowing my eyes slightly. I couldn't believe he'd have the audacity to ask I trust him blindly when he has so clearly been keeping me intentionally in the dark.

A flicker of pain dashed through Anakin's hard expression, and when he eventually looked me in the eye, I was overcome with the desperation that was so clearly evident within his cobalt gaze.   

"Jabba," he then said in a tight, distressed voice. "I went to go talk to Jabba this morning."

My eyebrows knit together in confusion, but then I realized he was finally answering one of the first questions I had asked during this painful conversation. He was surrendering one of his tightly guarded fragments of truth. It was an attempt to show he could engage in the mutual act of trust. But it wasn't enough. Based on our interaction with the Pa'lowick at the cantina, I already had a sense Anakin would be seeking an audience with the grotesque Hutt crime lord.

"Why?" I pressed.   

"I needed to make a deal with him." He said carefully as his eyes danced across my face, I nodded my head for him to continue. "A deal that would keep you safe."

"I have you to keep me safe." I countered.

"I can't keep you safe if...if I'm not around." He said, as if it took an effort to drag the words across his tongue.

"Were you planning on going somewhere?" I asked in a sharp voice.

Anakin hesitated, and I gave him another pleading look. Begging him to tell me the truth.

"I knew that if I ignored the council long enough, they'd send an entire fucking battalion to retrieve me, forcing me back to the council without any real notice. So, I arranged a way for you to escape to Alderaan on one of Jabba's smuggler ships." He said, suddenly unable to meet my gaze.

What? I was sure he could sense my confusion as he shuffled uncomfortably.

"And how did you see that going, Anakin? You force onto a sketchy ship in the dark of the night, all alone, to a planet I've never been to before? Is that really protecting me?" I asked as I searched his face for answers.

"If it kept you away from the temple attack, yes." He said with a stinging honesty.

"Anakin," I countered, unable to hide the bewilderment in my voice. "I am safest with you. I would have been safe if they dragged me back to Coruscant with you. If you had just left me behind and abandoned me like that...I-I" I was unable to finish my thought as my throat grew tight with tears.

I have been abandoned by everyone in my life. Whether it was by choice or some cruel twist of fate. And while his actions may have kept my physical being safe, my heart would never recover.

And the fact that he had made this hurtful decision without even consulting me, it wrecked me. 

"No, Kels please" Anakin said quickly, stepping towards me with a panic creeping into his tone. "I always intended on finding you on Alderaan. Fucking always."

I shook my head firmly, not wanting to hear any more of his excuses.

"Why are you so hell-bent on keeping me from Coruscant?" I asked, getting down to the root of his apparent apprehension.

There had to be a deeper reason than simply guarding me from the danger of the temple attack. He was going above and beyond, throwing years of loyalty and procedure to the wind. I knew he'd be more than capable of protecting me should I fall into the jaws of danger back at the temple.

There was something more going on. I could feel it. 

"Kels..." Anakin practically whined, he shook his head as if to banish the thoughts clouding his mind. "I can't let anything happen to you."

"You won't." I pressed. "I will stay by your side the entire time, I promise. Even if it pisses off Glynn...or the council. I will be cautious. Just please...we need to go back and help them." I didn't even care that I was begging at this point.

"No. You can't go back to Coruscant." He said, shaking his head with increased determination.

"Why?" I asked again, my volume rising once again at his caginess.

"Because, Kels!" Anakin's shout erupted from his chest. "Fucking trust me, okay?" 

"I don't trust you." I found myself mumbling. The words tumbled from my lips without even realizing. He had lied about so much; intentionally kept me in the dark so I would be complacent.

It made me feel sick.

"Don't say that." Anakin said, each word heavy with pain. And I felt the regret and despair roll off him. His shield had finally faltered. 

"We need to go back." I repeated in a cold voice. "To Coruscant."

"Kels..." Anakin said softly.

"When Payto died, I wasn't there." I began in a quiet voice. "He died alone in the kitchen, and I had never felt so powerless. And the way everyone just moved on so quickly, it was as if the kitchen staff were an afterthought. I was practically screaming into the void that he was important, that he mattered, that his death left an impact." I had to pause to swallow the grief that balled in my throat.

Anakin moved to reach out to me, but I held up a hand to stop him. I wasn't finished.

"I can't let that happen again. Because I have power this time, albeit slight. I can be the one to help protect the temple staff. Whether it's simply by warning them or by making sure you are there to fight for them. It might not seem like much to most, but that kitchen staff, they're the only semblance of family I have left. Rala and Glynn. I just...I can't abandon them. So please, Anakin, I am begging you, let me have this."

Tears had spilled down my cheeks as I was baring my emotions, hoping he would see how important this is to me.

Anakin stared at me, eyes taking in every detail of my face. I let my emotions show clearly on my expression. All the pain, the fear, the sheer determination. I had played my final card in this battle of wills.

"Okay." Anakin choked out, his face twisted in pain as if the words actually hurt.

I felt my eyes widen in shock. I had expected him to continue denying me and then proceed to shove me onto a ship to Alderaan.

However, even though he had finally complied, it didn't wash away the hurt. So I simply nodded in response, crossed my shaking arms, and proceeded to walk towards the co-pilot seat.

It was time to go back to Coruscant.