I blinked slowly awake. My eyes were tired and dry. It had been a long night. Minho had passed out again, but woke a few times to throw up only to pass back out. I didn't bother getting Jeff. What were they going to do? So instead I had curled up at the foot of the bed, and woke up every time he groaned or whimpered. My heart still felt like it was crushed, and my body felt heavy. It was still early.

"Hey Love."

I yawned and stretched. Slowly sitting up I looked around. Newt and Winston were slowly and quietly closing the door. They slid into the chairs by the bed.

"How's he doing?"

I shrugged, looking over at Minho's curled up sleeping form.

"He's not going anywhere today." I said quietly. "He threw up a few more times last night."

"Well as awful as it sounds that's good." Winston said, "the more he can get out of his system the better."

I just nodded sadly. I sniffed hard, and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. I felt a hand on my knee and a gentle squeeze.

"I think you should go sleep, Love." Newt said gently.

"No. I've gotta take Thomas out." I said dropping my hands. I looked at Minho again, my shoulders dropped. "You...you guys won't leave him, right? Not alone in the med Hut..."

"Yeah JayJay someone will be with him." Winston said quietly.

"I'll be here for the morning Love."

"Thank you." My voice was even quiet. "If you hadn't come when you did...I don't know..." I trailed off again and looked away, tears stung my eyes.

"I know. And I'm sorry you ha-"

"Yeah. Whatever." I said sharply, standing up. My heaviness turned anger. "I'll be back later. Thanks for staying."

I left the room before I could cry again, I went to our room to grab clothes, I still smelt like smoke and was still covered in soot and ash. Pushing the door open I stopped. Someone had cleaned up. Probably Newt and Winston. My heart did something, like it missed a beat or sealed with gratitude or some emotion I wasn't I had experienced.

I grabbed my stuff and went to the showers. Standing in the shower with hot water felt good, it cleared my exhaustion, woke me up a bit. Feeling clean again, I turned the water off and got dressed. Once I was done I went for coffee.

Teresa was standing behind the counter chatting with Frypan, Thomas and Winston. She was using her hands to talk and had a big smile. It faded and Fry's chuckle died when I slowly walked up.

"Don't stop on my account." I snapped.

"Jess...how are you doing?" Teresa asked.

"I'm breathing so I'm fucking fine."

"Jess..." Thomas started, he gave such a piercing look I actually faltered.

"Jessie, I was there, Winston was there... Don't lie, we know. How are you actually doing?" Teresa asked.

Her voice was gentle but firm, she had reached across the counter and put her hand gently on the coffee mug, making me stop. She didn't actually touch me, but she made me stop. I looked away, blinking hard. I shrugged. Winston hooked my arm and pulled me to an empty table, Thomas followed and Teresa came around the counter and slid onto the bench infront of me, beside Thomas.

"It's just us now. Out with it." Winston demanded.

"How am I supposed to feel? He rips into me about doing shit like that. Tells me he'll always be there. Promises everything, is...he's my rock..he can bring me down with his voice and then... Then...he tries to off himself. How am I supposed to feel Winnie?"

I paused, I was clutching the coffee mug so tight I was scared it would explode when I cracked. I looked away.

"I was so scared. I watched his eyes roll and his breathing went shallow... I watched his body shutting down. He tells me I'm stupid for what I do. He does everything he can to help me off the ledge, but he takes a running leap. I'm confused okay? I don't know how to feel!"

Teresa reached across the table and took the cup from my hands and slid her hands into mine.

"Keep going." She said quietly, giving my hands a squeeze.

Taking a shaking breath I closed my eyes.

"I can't lose him...I can't. I...I...love him." I choked those words out. I had never said that to anyone except to Minho.

"We know Jay. Anyone with eyes can see."

"So yeah, I'm upset about it!" I snapped. "But I'm also angry. And guilty, I should have gone when I saw him fall. I should have left that stupid keeper meeting, I shouldn't have gone back to our room, I should have been faster! I shou-"

"Stop." Thomas said firmly, interrupting me. "Should haves and what ifs never help anyone. It never changes the situation. You got there in time, he'll recover. That's what matters. Don't live in the past, the past already happened."

I opened and closed my mouth a few times. Thomas had a point. I hung my head. They were quiet, letting me sort out my thoughts. Teresa hadn't let go of my hands. I took another shuddering breath.

"I also feel guilty."

"Why?" Winston asked.

"Because...he...he was so focused on my problems and trying to help me... I think he focused on that instead of his own issues. And I should have seen it."

"That's something you two need to talk about." Teresa said gently.

"But ya, maybe, maybe he did focus on you to help him forget his own troubles, but that doesn't discount his love for you." Winston added. "We're all still shucken kids trying to function in this fucked up place. We all got issues Jay. We're all doing our shucken best."

He pulled me gently into a side hug and kissed the top of my head when I layed my head on his shoulder. I wanted to believe them, I really did. It's just hard to think Minho had struggles that bad when he was so steadfast and steady all the time, the voice of reason in my tornado of anxiety and PTSD.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, giving myself a few more seconds to be this miserable emotional person. Once those seconds were up, I had a job to do. I counted slowly in my head. I sat up and opened my eyes. Shook my head and took my hands back.

"Okay. Enough of that." I pointed to Thomas,  "you and me are going to section four. We'll wait until Minho is feeling up for a run and we'll check out seven then."

He nodded.

"I'll see if Jason is coming or if he's staying. We leave in half an hour."

I turned to Teresa, "you with Fry today?"

She nodded with a small smile.

"He's a good guy, he won't be a creep."

"JayJay...are you saying nice things about other people?"

I wrinkled my nose and looked at him in disgust.

"Won't happen again. Nice isn't in my vocabulary. I can also say, he's too loud, and his overly happy personality gets on my nerves quickly, he's a gossip and doesn't finger paint in blood or appreciate my dark humor."

"And she's back." Winston chuckled. "You'll be alright."

"I'm always gonna be fine."

"Fine? Feelings I'm not Expressing." Thomas said, pointing a finger at me.

"We'll look at our I.I. he's using his few brain cells."

"I.I.?" Teresa and Thomas asked in unison.

"Intelligent Idiot."

Thomas huffed and rolled his eyes. I smirked and got up, "half an hour, meet me by the South doors."

He nodded again with a sigh.

I stopped by the Med room again, I brought Newt a plate of breakfast and coffee. He had his feet propped up on the bed, a notebook in his lap, and he was writing.

"Hey Jess. Oh, thanks Love" he smiled when I handed him breakfast. He eyed me up and sighed. "You off into the Maze?"

I nodded. "I'm taking Greenie to four." I looked back at Minho, he was still out.

"He'll be fine Love. He came around last night, which means he's okay. And if he threw up a few more times, it's left his system. His body just needs to sleep off whatever was absorbed."

I nodded again. I spun on my heel and left the room before tears could form in my eyes.

•×•

Thomas and I had run straight down the big stretch.

"Keep up Greenie. There ain't a Griever on our asses...yet. So we don't have that incentive to run. So keep up. Rule number one: Run! Never stop running!"

"Got it."

We came to the big stone arch that led you to two different sections or straight. I took the left, towards section four.

"Alright, my I.I. listen up. This leads from The South entrance-" I pointed to his right, as we ran past the intersection. "That way is to section four. Like I said, this passage is always in the same spot, but the route here might be a little different because of the walls rearranging themselves."

I saw Thomas nod, the workings of the maze slowly starting to make sense, I could see it on his face.

"Today we're running section 4, it's an easier one to run, less turns then most other sections. I won't make you do too much. More like testing your stamina. But I want you to do your best to remember each turn we make, so when we get to the end, see if you can do it backwards, see if you can mentally map it. Good that?"

Thomas nodded with a slightly worried expression on his face.

"You'll be fine."

"No...its not that...I was just thinking-"

"That's dangerous!"

"Hardy har har." Thomas rolled his eyes. "But seriously, Jessie...what...what if there is no exit? What if we're really stuck here and it's all here to mess with us? Test our stubbornness?"

"Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine." I rolled his eyes.

"Just saying!"

"Then we keep running. There are ways to the other maze, 'cause I didn't come from no where. And the box comes from somewhere. So..there are exits. We just don't know how yet."

"True."

We ran for a while in silence. We reached the end of another corridor and I slowed to barely more than a walk and reached into my side pocket of my backpack to pull out a notepad and pencil. I jotted a note, then put them back, never fully stopping.

"I rely ... mostly on memory," I huffed, my voice finally showing a hint of strain, "But about every fifth turn, I write something down to help me later. Mostly just related to stuff from yesterday—what's different today. Then I can use yesterday's Map to make today's. Easy-peasy, even for your teeny tiny brain."

I also grabbed my long knife off my hip and sliced a vine, but kicked it to the side, so Thomas wouldn't trip on it. I didn't want to have to hull another Shank back to the Glade.

"What's that for?" Thomas wheezed.

"Bread crumbs?" 

"Bread crumbs?" He asked.

"Follow our way back. If we ever need it." I answered. "I'm Gretel. Minho is Hansel, you can be the witch who eats children." 

Thomas huffed again and I glanced at him and saw his eyes roll.

"So...every day you're out here? What if we miss something?"

"That's why we run these halls every single shuck day if miserable shuck lives, idiot! We can't miss a day, because what if...the exit to freedom is behind a wall that only moves once every 6 months? Or is hidden or there is a trigger door we need to find in a corridor we haven't found yet. That's why, Greenie, you need the stubbornness and drive to come out here every single day, even if we haven't found anything new in a long time!" I answered, probably a bit more harshly than needed, but he was asking dumb questions.

"Well, good thing I'm shucken stubborn. So let's get moving! We got some stone walls to explore!"

"One, stop using Glader slang. It's awful. And two...I like your enthusiasm."

I picked up my pace and ran, taking turn after turn, until I slowed down to a walk and then to a stop.

"Lunch." I huffed.

I flopped to the ground and pulled my water out and the lunch Frypan made. Thomas was bent over holding a stitch in his side. He was slowly walking back and forth.

"Can I ask you something?" He wheezed.

"You just did."

"Haha." He rolled his eyes. "Seriously though."

"Fine." I took a big bite of my sandwich and watched as he chewed his lip, I could see him thinking.

"So...you and Minho said there was nothing left to map...you came from a different maze but it was the exact same, Newt told me," he added when I looked at him curiously.

"Yeah. I've run every inch of it myself. Every cycle. Every pattern. If there was a way out, we would have found it by now." I said dully, leaning my head back on the wall. "it was the same in my other maze. I ran the whole thing. Nothing there either."

"Why haven't you told anyone this?"

"It was Alby's call, apparently." I shrugged, "People had to believe we had a hope of a way out." I paused, "but in my first maze...we didn't keep it a secret. We had no secrets, we were always open with the other girls. Alby and Newt run things differently."

I paused and took another bite of my lunch. "But now...we might have a real chance!"

"Why's that?" Thomas asked, his eyes huge.

"Well, we are the only ones who've killed a Griever before. No one ever survived a night in this maze, now three of us have. And now, those things we've found inside the Griever; the same section that was changing when we killed 'em."

"Why is that important?" He asked.

"Well there are 8 sections in the maze, sections 1-8, ya?"

He nodded.

"Each section has a big painted number on the entrance of the section. See, the way it works, is at night, when the maze changes...it opens  up a new section." 

"Yeah...Minho explained that...but I still don't get why seven is so special, and same with four?" Thomas asked slowly, trying to figure something out.

"Well, the pattern is always the same.  71526483." I explained, not like Minho took almost three hours to explain this to him a few days ago.

"Well...if 7 was open a few days ago, you said it was one section a night.." he thought out loud.

"Correct."

"But-"

"Thomas, you idiot. I thought you were intelligent. Look around you. Where are we?"

"I don't know! I don't -"

He stopped abruptly, his eyes wide. He was looking passed me. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped.

"Then why is seven still open?" He gasped.

"Took ya long enough. Here I thought you were observant and intelligent. Why is seven open?" I rolled my eyes.

"But we're not gonna go check it out?" He asked eagerly.

"Not today. Tomorrow, when Minho is feeling better...and if not...we still go tomorrow. You need at least one day if actual training. Now sit your ass down and eat."

He finally sat down in a huff, but he was finally quiet stuffing his face with lunch.