🔥🌶️ Spicy kissy scene🌶️🔥

I love him. 

I loved Minho. 

It bounced in my brain for a long time. My breathing shortened and became shallow. My hands became sweaty and numb. My entire body became flushed. I didn't know what to do. I sat stuck on the stool at the Map table. My hands were shaking. My mind and body were stuck. I couldn't get past "I loved him."  I wouldn't have been able to form a sentence if someone asked. I was stuck between horror and a happy giddiness. I knew carrying about anyone made it more dangerous, because when you loose it it hurts more. That's why I kept the walls up, so no one could get, but also so I couldn't get out. I had a cage around myself...to keep myself from the hurt and horrors of loosing what I held the most dear. 

My body slid off the stool and slid to the floor, onto my knees. I wrapped my arms around myself and let the tears fall. They came hot and heavy. Big tears rolled down my cheeks. What if I lost it? Lost him? Or Winston? Or Newt? Or Chuck? Those four were the ones I had let into the sanctuary of my heart. I couldn't loose them. I had already lost Harriet and Sonya. And that nearly killed me. What about these boys now? How could I protect myself from the heart ache? It already hurt and they were outside at the fire. 

My chest physically hurt. I was taking wild gasping breaths, but I wasn't getting any oxygen. My stomach was twisting and turning. The tears wouldn't stop. My body shook and shivered with the fear. I was going to loose them. All of them. Because I didn't deserve to be happy. I didn't deserve to to love others and have them love me back, I was a monster who ripped loved ones apart. The sob escaped. The cry was let loose.  I was an unlovable monster.

I grabbed a knife and ripped the cuff off. I had already made a few cuts. 

You're a monster. An unlovable killer. You deserve nothing. Love is for those who deserve it.

With another cry I raised the now bloody knife. I spun it around so the point was towards me. My heart hurt. It hurt so much. I needed to make the pain stop. Stop forever. I couldn't keep doing this, pretending I was loveable. Bring the point closer to my chest I closed my eyes took a deep breath and-

I was tackled with a wild cry. The knife was knocked out of my hands and it skidded across the floor. With a wild sob the fight left, the anger left. I was done; I was empty and exhausted. I curled up covering my face and sobbed. Arms picked me up and pulled me into their chest. 

I knew who it was. He has saved me. He has saved me from myself over and over again. I turned and curled into him. He held me tight. He hadn't said anything. I felt his heart beating quickly. 

"I'm sorry!" I hiccupped. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" He asked quietly. "Why would you do that Jessie?"

I was quiet. How do I put this into words he would understand. 

"I'm a horrible unlovable monster. And...I'm...scared." I whispered. 

"Explain." 

His answers were short and curt, I couldn't tell what he was feeling or thinking. His voice was even, but his heart was racing. I knew he was trying hard to cover his fear or anger. Or both. 

"I don't..I don't know how to explain it."

"Try." He said rather harshly. 

I sat up, and got off his lap, turning my back to him. Keeping my ruined wrist to my chest. I herd him get up as well. He stood behind me. I felt his presence. I closed my eyes. Took a few slow breaths. Once I opened them I picked up the paper. I turned towards Minho. His eyes were narrowed, his jaw was clamped tight and I saw the jaw muscle flexing. His arms were crossed, ever muscle was tense. I held the paper out for him.

"What is it?" He  asked, he hadn't taken it. 

"Just take it and read it."

"Why?" He asked again, "Just use your words."

"I don't know how!" I finally yelled, "Just read the fucking paper Minho!" 

He snatched it from my hands. His eyes swept the paper, I saw the tension in his body loosening, I saw the anger melt into sorrow. He looked up with wide eyes. 

"I'm scared! My worst fear...I lowered my shields, and I let you in. Now I'm terrified to lose it! I love you Minho and I'm absolutely terrified! I don't deserve to have that. I'm a monster and I don't deserve to have love or give it." I yelled, my hands were in fists, and I felt the anger in my body making it shake. 

"Jessie...you love me?" He asked quietly. His voice was softer now.

"Yes. I love you shuck face!" I snapped. 

He grinned, and took a step closer. 

"Why are you smiling?"

"This is the most Jessie way to tell me." He said even quieter. He stepped closer, making me tilt my head back. "And you do deserve love. And you are aloud to love." 

"But-"

"No. No Buts. No ifs ands or buts. You need to stop punishing yourself for things out of your control. If you weren't manipulated, and controlled do you think you would still do everything you did?" 

I shook my head, "no...at least I don't think so." I whispered quietly. 

"Then stop punishing yourself Jessie!" He paused, and his face hardened again,  "And don't you ever...EVER do that again!" He had raised his voice, and I heard the waver in it. "What would have happened if I hadn't come looking for you? I would have found you dead on the floor tomorrow morning!" 

It was the first time I remember hanging my head in shame. He lifted my chin. His dark intense eyes looked at me, right down into my soul. I felt the ice melt some more, the shields just about broken, laying in ruins now. 

"Please don't ever do that again." 

"I'll do my best." I whispered back, "That's the best I can give you."

"I love you, Jessie."

I looked into his eyes, everything inside me was wiggling and twisting, yelling at me to run and hide, instead I stood my ground and whispered the three words that scared me more than anything this maze could throw at me. 

"I love you." 

I hardly heard my voice. It was so weak and shaky, but I said it. And I meant it. I saw his eyes light up, and his eyes formed crescent moons, and dimples showed on his cheeks. It made the corners of my lip pull up. He reached up and gently brushed the hair from my face. His fingers trailed down my jaw and down my neck. I shivered, my skin broke out in goosebumps. He smirked. He gently cupped my jaw and pulled me closer. I followed, and wrapped my arm around him. He gently kissed me. It was soft and gentle. I felt all the unsaid words, all the confused feelings behind it. My eyes fluttered closed. I tried to wrap my other arm around him. 

I pulled away with a hiss of pain. My wrist was stinging. I didn't cut it too bad, but it definitely needed to be cleaned and wrapped. Minho sighed. 

"Come on, lets go get that cleaned." 

He grabbed a fist full of my shirt and pulled me along, while he walked backwards, staring into my eyes. He had a mischievous glint in his eye. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. He bumped into the map Room door. He pulled me closer and wrapped a hand around my back, sliding his had into my back pocket.  

"I love you Jessie." He whispered into my ear, and he put more pressure, pulling me closer into him. 

I kept the one hand held tight to my chest, but I slid my other hand under the hem of his shirt and slowly ran my hand up his abs to his chest. 

"I love you too, Minho." 

I could feel the smirk as he buried his face into my neck. 

"My Duchess of Darkness is coming into the sunshine is she?"

"Don't push it." 

He chuckled, and kissed my neck, making my eyes flutter closed and my head tip back. He slowly worked his way up my neck. My hand slid over his chest. 

"Shuck...Min..." I whispered. 

He kissed me harder. Making my nails dig in slightly. He kept me held close with this hand in my pocket, and the other one had let go of my shirt and tangled into my hair. I could feel his heart beating wildly.  I went to bury a hand in his hair when I growled. My wrist needed attention. 

"Minho..." I panted..."Medhut..." 

He pulled away. 

"Yeah...yeah..right..." 

He reached behind him and opened the door, pulling me with him. His hand refused to leave my back pocket. We stumbled out into the night. Most of the Gladers were still out at the fire. A few had wondered off to bed. But no one noticed us. Minho pulled me along, squished to his chest, kissing as he walked backwards. We kept stumbling. 

"Can we just walk normally?" I whispered against his lips. 

"'Cause I wanna kiss you." He whispered back, in between short kisses. 

"The faster we deal with this the sooner I can kiss you better." 

He sighed dramatically. Pulling away and grabbed my hand and started running towards the Homestead. He pulled me up the stairs, the Homestead was empty, everyone was still at the fire. He pushed the Med room door open and closed it. I went to the shelves and took what I needed. I sat down on the table and quickly cleaned the cuts, and wrapped it in fresh gauze. Minh sat on the stood be side me watching as I worked. The second I was done he was back at my neck. 

I hummed, and wrapped my arms around him. He left my neck and came back to my lips. He slid his tongue into my mouth. His hands slid from my hips up to my waist. And pulled me closer. He stepped between my knees and I crossed my ankles around him. He slowly raised his hands up to my ribs and higher. I let go of his shoulders and raised my arms, I broke the kiss as he tugged my shirt off. I grabbed his shirt and pulled it up. He took it off in a swift movement. He was smirking. I ran my fingers over his skin, making him shiver. I gently kissed his chest. Brushing my lips along his chest. Both hands were buried in my hair.  

I could hear his chest rumbling. His heart was beating wildly and his breathing was shallow. He sat back down on the stool, his hands grabbed my hips and pull me, I slid off the table and onto his lap. 

"That's better." He whispered. 

"We're gonna have another problem." I purred into his ear. It made him shutter, and growl. 

"I'm okay with that." 

I shifted purposely. He inhaled sharply. 

"You sure?" I whispered again in his ear. Shifting again, slower this time and I gently bit his ear and pulled. 

"Shuck Jess!" He growled as his head tipped back. 

My hands slowly slid from his chest up his neck and into his hair. Pressing closer into him, and shifting again. He just about died, He couldn't breath properly anymore. It just made me smirk. His hands slid up my side and to the front, wiggling his fingers under my bra. His touch was gentle and soft, but needy. My stomach flipped and the inhale was stuck in my throat now. His rough callused hands were warm and gentle making my skin break out in goosebumps. He made my body shake and I could process words or full thoughts. 

"Minho..." I managed to moan. 

"Do you want me to stop?" He panted. 

"No..." 

His hands caressed me again, making my head flop forward onto his shoulder. 

"But..." I managed to say. 

"But?" 

"Med room..." 

"Shuck it." 

"I'm...not an it, Minho." I growled.

He pulled away, raising an eyebrow. Still breathing hard, I kept his eye contact and rolled my hips, and I watched his eyes go wide, while his jaw clamped shut and his hands squeezed. 

"Shuck...Jess...dammit...room..shuck." 

I slowly stood up. Grabbed my shirt and sauntered to the door. I flung it open wide. Leaving Minho on the stool in the Med room, I walked down the hall and the stairs. I heard Minho behind me. The second the door was closed, he had shoved me against the wall. 

"You're a little vixen, aren't you?" He growled into my neck. 

"You have no idea." 

"I have an idea." 

"I can show you if you want." 

"Yes...yes I do."

He gently bit and sucked on my neck. His hands went to my hips and slid up and down exploding all my scars. My hands tangled into his hair. He came back to my lips. I kissed him hungerly. He pressed into me, pinning me into the wall. There was no more space between us. He slid his hands down and managed to pick me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He held my hips and pressed me into the wall.  I felt his bare skin on mine. I felt his muscles tense and flexed. I could feel the heat radiating from him. I could feel his heart slamming against his chest, which matched mine. They beat in sync. He pressed his body closer. We kissed like we were drowning, my head was spinning, everything was clouded. I held on for as long as I could but I had to break for air. I unwrapped my legs and Minho placed me down. Sliding my hands to his chest, I slowly pushed him away. He took a few steps backwards, I slowly slid a small knife out. 

"I remember how much this...bothered you last time." I raised a teasing eyebrow. I slowly places the knife point on his ridiculously toned torso. Slowly bringing my arm up, so the point trailed up his torso to his chest. If it was possible, his eyes turned even darker. 

"Back up." I demanded.

He listened and backed up, and sat down on the edge of his bed. His dark lustful eyes watched my the whole time. 

"Bossy Duchess." He smirked. His voice was horse and gravelly. 

"You have no idea. I'm a the Badass Boss Bitch." 

"I like her." 

"Good." I made him look up at me with the tip of the knife under his chin, "'cause I like making you whimper and beg for more and moan my name." 

His hands pulled me closer. They slid to my butt and pulled me closer, then slid up back. He kept my eye contact while he unclasped my bra. In a smooth movement he grabbed my wrist, the one holding the knife, yanked it away, while the other hand held me tight and flipped me onto my back on his bed. 

"I think..." He growled, as he lowered down and kissed my stomach, "It's my turn..." he kissed another scar on my stomach. "to tease you until you moan my name."

He trailed kisses up my stomach to my chest, making my back arch into his touch. 

"Minho..." I moaned. And he smirked.